Crabbe let out a scream so loud that it could have woke up every student at Hogwarts. Before he could do anything he was thrown up in the air by an unknowable force. "Gah! What in the bloody hell is going on?" screamed Crabbe. He looked down and saw Moaning Myrtle, pushing him into the air with her head on his err, bottom. "This is a GIRLS bathroom! You are not a GIRL! What are you doing in here?" She bellowed as she let him fall to the ground. Crabbe pulled up his bright pink boxers, and his pants. "I had to pee. Why else would I go in a bathroom?" Myrtle gave Crabbe a sneer so evil that it chilled him to the bone. Then she did something odd. Something very odd indeed. Myrtle reached both of her hands up and started to violently scratch her head. "Damn Crabs! God Damn Crabs!" she cried as she itched at her scalp. Crabbe stared at her, dumfounded. It is this next part of the story that is unexplainable. Crabbe, in all of his stupidity, put two and two together. "Sick! You have crabs! On your head! Eww! Your head touched my...ahhhhhhh! Myrtle are you mental? You put your head on my bottom!" Myrtle stared at Crabbe as he ran around the bathroom holding his bottom. "What is wrong with you, you tool?" she asked. "CRABS ARE CONTAGIOUS!" he retorted. With that he bolted out of the bathroom as fast as he could, running towards the infirmary.

Epilogue:

Crabbe made his way up to Madam Pomfrey in the Infirmary. He thought that she would be able to clear up the crabs in no time. But, it turns out, once you get crabs from someone who is already dead...you can't get rid of them. So, for the rest of his life Vincent Crabbe lived with that horrible STI we all know as Crabs.

The End.