Weasel-dum and Weasel-dee
Summary: The twins coerce Angelina into sneaking out with them. A brief moment in the chaos and embarrassment resulting from being Fred and George's friend. One-shot.
Disclaimer: Who do you think this belongs to? I was about three when the idea for HP was thought up.
Rating: PG
"Why am I here Fre-Fred?" asked Angelina, stomping down a yawn.
"Because our reputations precede us," said George. He leaned around a corner to see if anyone was coming.
"You'll add weight to our argument," added Fred.
"Fred, I had to get up at five o' clock this morning to get to King's Cross on time," she said irritably. "All I have wanted since I arrived in the castle is to go to sleep. So why can't this wait until tomorrow?"
The twins did not answer her fierce whisper. Instead, George made a frantic hand motion and they raced across the corridor into the dark shadows on the other side.
Fred opened his mouth, apparently to answer her, but snapped it shut immediately.
The pearly figure of the grey lady swept past them. Her features were as stiff and refined as ever. Fred watched her until she had turned the corner.
"You know," said Fred dreamily, "I wish some non-transparent girls would wear corsets like that."
"Of course, we wouldn't have a problem with the corsets being transparent," grinned George.
"Oh shut up," she snapped. This was the last place she wanted to be, her bed seemed a wondrous dream right now. "Why are we sneaking around like cat- burglars? What happened to the funny map?"
"Old news Angel."
"We gave it away last year."
"You gave it away?" she hissed. "What for?"
They were feeling their way along the dark wall, the moonlight from the high windows illuminated the other side of the corridor. So long as they tiptoed around the regular coats of armour the journey was relatively safe.
"It was the most wondrous possession we ever had," said George with a tinge of awe. "But we were becoming too dependant on it."
"We didn't even get caught once in a whole three months!" said Fred in a hushed but scandalised voice.
"And let's face it, where's the fun if you don't get caught now and again?"
"You got me," Angelina muttered dryly.
"You know, eventually," George sounded as though he were holding in fake sobs, "you just have to fly the prankster nest, you know?"
"Who did you give it too?" she asked absently.
"Harry, his need is greater than ours. We would have given it to Ron-"
"-but we wouldn't want him getting the idea we like him."
George turned and winked at her.
"He was a right prat this summer too," said Fred. "Wasn't he George? Kept going on about how he knew who the Marauders were, but when we asked him he wouldn't say- so he was just being a pathetic looser who was trying to get his big bwuvvers to pay him some attention."
"Uh-oh, uh-oh, someone's out of luck-oh!" sang a familiar and grating voice. Angelina cringed. The twins turned to the poltergeist with evil grins plastered on faces.
"Peeves!" said Fred cheerfully.
"Delighted to have you on board old boy!" said George.
Peeves swooped in, invading their personal space and managed to look them both in the eye at the same time. One eye-ball each.
Angelina did not move from her frozen position behind the suit of armour.
"Weasel-dum and Weasel-dee,
For school, were always too naughteee,
Saint Peevsie told them 'you are bad!'
And went and told on those naughty lads,
Now Peevsie watches as they scrub that floor,
And stare so longingly at the dungeon doors,
But Weasel-dum and Weasel-dee,
For school, were always too naughteee,
Soon they will be going home,
No matter how they moan and moan,
Their mother, she will roar and roar,
And make them scrub the kitchen floor,
'Cos Weasel-dum and Weasel-dee,
For school were always toooo naugh-teeee!"
He made a twirly motion with his hands and pointed at the twins in turn on 'Weasel-dum and Weasel-dee'. Then he finished the song with a great flourish of his hat.
Fred and George, seeming to forget about being caught, burst into applause.
Angelina froze again from her hiding place. She realised too late why it was a bad idea to hide behind this suit of armour. It was nicknamed Syd the Slimy for a reason. The metal hand was placed firmly on her backside and despite her wriggling couldn't be shaken off.
She felt the blush start at her knees and swarm upwards.
The twins could handle Peeves no problem but their unspoken agreement between themselves and Peeves to work together to cause as much mayhem as possible stretched only to them- anyone else and Peeves would be calling for Snape before you could say 'Cockroach Cluster. Her only chance was to wait until they had left and sneak back to the dormitories. That meant having to put up with the groping metal man and his echoic 'hur hur hur's every time she squirmed.
"That was awesome Peevsie!" whooped George. "Can you write it down?"
"We could write it in our Christmas cards, Lee, Ron, and Harry would love them!" said Fred with equal delight. "How did it go again? Weasel-dum and Weasel-dee, for school were always too..."
Hurry up! Angelina thought desperately, every time she moved the hand gave her a little pat. It was creepy, not to mention cold.
"So what naughty nasty prank has got these two sixth years," here Peeves adopted his most saintly voice, "who should know better, out of their squishy squashy comfy beds?"
"You'll love this Peeves!" said George delightedly. "It's a one night only deal though!"
"We heard that some first years are going to explore-"
"Best night for it," cut in George, "it's the only night where if you're found out after curfew you can get away with 'I was looking for the bathroom Professor! Honestly!'"
Peeves bobbed up and down with interest.
Why are they talking so slowly? She hissed mentally. The armour was pressing her into him and the angle alone was hurting her back and rather chilly bottom.
"Anyway, we're going to pretend to be prefects and take points-"
"Then when they're good and terrified, we'll start laughing and offer them a free sample of one of our more classy products and bam! We'll have them hooked!"
"But it's a one night only deal because, lets face it, how long do you need to be in the school to realise we're not prefect material?"
"Even on the way we had to be on our best behaviour," said George sadly.
"And we really wanted to see the effect of our new toilet gurglers gag on the train toilets too!"
"So are you coming Peevsie? You can add to the scare factor- make enough noise to make them think you'll wake up the castle but not enough to summon a teacher?"
George grabbed Peeves around where his shoulders should be and led them away.
With a relieved smile Angelina smacked the armour's hand away.
"You try anything like that again and I'll have you melted into a puddle!" she snapped.
"Well Miss Johnson, I wasn't aware you liked to roam the castle in order to threaten inanimate objects." The glistening voice made her cringe. Stupid, stupid Fred and George!
"Professor Snape! I was, uh, looking for the bathroom?"