I'm Jade Rowwood. This is an old fic that my cousin and me dreamed up. I decided to post it to help quench your thirst in waiting for Advent Children. Advent Children! Advent Children yay!! And yes, it's not supposed to make sense. I own none of the characters, blah blah, settings, blah, but the Scary Little Man is my creation. Enjoy!
Cast o Characters
Scary Little Man
Sephiroth
Jenova
Cloud
Aeris
Cid
Vincent
Yuffie
Scene 1: The Burning of Nibelheim
Watching the chaos and destruction he caused, Sephiroth smiled cruelly to himself.
Scary Little Man: He, he, he, I'm gonna kick yo' momma!
Sephiroth paid no attention to the barely one foot high tiny man who just jumped out of the bushes next to him.
Scary Little Man: He, he, he, I'm gonna kick yo' momma!
The little man pulled a knife that was twenty times his own length from somewhere behind his back, but I won't say from where though!
Scary Little Man: He, he, he, I'm gonna kick yo' momma!
Suddenly, materializing from a globe of darkness, Jenova appeared.
Jenova: Now, now children play nice!
She said wagging a tentacle at them. The tiny man stared at her with a maniacal grin on his face.
Scary Little Man: He, he, he, I'm gonna kill yo' momma!
He cried running up to Jenova, kicking what would have been her shins. He ran away from this scene of utter insanity screaming about purple monkeys in his pants.
Sephiroth: What was that about?
He asked looking at the stunned Jenova, mouth agape, she changed into a pile of ashes.
Sephiroth: Momma! NO! He killed my mommy!
He ran away screaming like a little girl.
Scene 2: Cloud and Companies' camp in Sleeping Forest.
Aeris, Yuffie, Cloud, Cid, and Vincent sitting around the camp fire telling stories and drinking Zimas.
Aeris: I remember this one time, I wa
Sephiroth: He killed my mommy!!!!!!!!!!
Aeris' alcohol fueled story was abruptly cut off by Sephiroth running straight into their camp fire and imploding.
Cloud: Was that weird or what?
He said swigging down the rest of his Zima.
Cid: That was %$#ed up! Dumb #$rd, he got ashes in my drink!
Vincent and Yuffie were to busy making out under a tree to notice. Aeris was making herself comfortable in Cid's lap. Cloud looked shocked.
Scary Little Man: He, he he, I'm gonna kick yo' momma!
The Scary Little Man bounded into the campsite. Pulling five purple monkeys from his pants, he handed them out. Running over to Cloud, he kicked him in the crotch and ran away laughing maniacally screaming that he ate Jenova.
Scary Little Man: I ate wussy's momma! He, he, he, I gots gas, VROOOM!!
Aeris: I think, um…
Yuffie: That was weird!
Vincent: He ruined my night!
And so the Scary Little Man ran off into the moonlight. They say you can still hear his cries of I'm gonna kick yo' momma. Be warned, he could strike at any time.
Cast o Characters
Scary Little Man
Sephiroth
Jenova
Cloud
Aeris
Cid
Vincent
Yuffie
Scene 1: The Burning of Nibelheim
Watching the chaos and destruction he caused, Sephiroth smiled cruelly to himself.
Scary Little Man: He, he, he, I'm gonna kick yo' momma!
Sephiroth paid no attention to the barely one foot high tiny man who just jumped out of the bushes next to him.
Scary Little Man: He, he, he, I'm gonna kick yo' momma!
The little man pulled a knife that was twenty times his own length from somewhere behind his back, but I won't say from where though!
Scary Little Man: He, he, he, I'm gonna kick yo' momma!
Suddenly, materializing from a globe of darkness, Jenova appeared.
Jenova: Now, now children play nice!
She said wagging a tentacle at them. The tiny man stared at her with a maniacal grin on his face.
Scary Little Man: He, he, he, I'm gonna kill yo' momma!
He cried running up to Jenova, kicking what would have been her shins. He ran away from this scene of utter insanity screaming about purple monkeys in his pants.
Sephiroth: What was that about?
He asked looking at the stunned Jenova, mouth agape, she changed into a pile of ashes.
Sephiroth: Momma! NO! He killed my mommy!
He ran away screaming like a little girl.
Scene 2: Cloud and Companies' camp in Sleeping Forest.
Aeris, Yuffie, Cloud, Cid, and Vincent sitting around the camp fire telling stories and drinking Zimas.
Aeris: I remember this one time, I wa
Sephiroth: He killed my mommy!!!!!!!!!!
Aeris' alcohol fueled story was abruptly cut off by Sephiroth running straight into their camp fire and imploding.
Cloud: Was that weird or what?
He said swigging down the rest of his Zima.
Cid: That was %$#ed up! Dumb #$rd, he got ashes in my drink!
Vincent and Yuffie were to busy making out under a tree to notice. Aeris was making herself comfortable in Cid's lap. Cloud looked shocked.
Scary Little Man: He, he he, I'm gonna kick yo' momma!
The Scary Little Man bounded into the campsite. Pulling five purple monkeys from his pants, he handed them out. Running over to Cloud, he kicked him in the crotch and ran away laughing maniacally screaming that he ate Jenova.
Scary Little Man: I ate wussy's momma! He, he, he, I gots gas, VROOOM!!
Aeris: I think, um…
Yuffie: That was weird!
Vincent: He ruined my night!
And so the Scary Little Man ran off into the moonlight. They say you can still hear his cries of I'm gonna kick yo' momma. Be warned, he could strike at any time.