Pleasepleasepleaseletitnotbeherplease

He felt the guilt surge through him as the thought ran through his mind. Someone from his team had just been shot and all he cared about was whether Sam was the one who had been injured -- everyone on his team, he knew, would lay their life down on the line for Jack and he was dismissing that fact so he could concentrate on the one he loved the most. Was he really such a cold, heartless bastard?

He didn't dare move, lying on top of the shaking Edward on the linoleum floor. The sounds of breathing were prominent in his ears; his heavy gasps mixed with Edward's raspy sob as the scuffle in the background provided a backdrop for their tragic scene.

Slowly he stood, pulling Edward up with him. Facing the cabinets, his head turned away from the chaos, he grabbed the handcuffs from his waist and fastened them to Edward's hands. Then he pulled out a chair from the table and pushed the man down into it, his mind racing, clouded with his fear and unwillingness to turn around.

When he knew he couldn't delay it any longer he turned and braced himself for what he would see.

As soon as he took in the results, it felt as though he had been watching a television show that was muted. When his eyes fell on the floor everything clicked -- Vivian talking frantically on the phone, trying to get an ambulance, Martin holding a bloodied washcloth in his trembling hands, uncertain how to help. And then Sam was down on the floor, he realized, and his stomach plummeted with the sickening feeling the eerie sense of déjà vu brought on.

Then he realized she was kneeling down by Danny, applying pressure to the wound in his chest as he sat trying to breathe.

The room was suddenly bathed in red from outside, filling in the spots of the room that weren't already red with blood as the sounds of sirens from the ambulance made their way into the room, the harsh rays of the lights filtering through the blinds on the front door and piercing their vision. Two paramedics broke through the door with a stretcher and lifted Danny onto it as Sam moved backwards, standing by the wall as she wrung her hands nervously.

Vivian took Edward out, gripping the suspect by the arm tightly as his face stared straight ahead into the blaring lights, tears silently falling down his face as his mouth formed faint outlines of words without ever uttering a sound.

Jack walked over to the pantry where she was standing, her eyes dry and vacant. Quietly he put his hands over hers and was astonished to find them wet, and his hands were stained red when he pulled them back. Her eyes broke away from his gaze, turning to look at the ground. The linoleum had been immaculate and white, with only minor marks from dirt and scuffs from boots, but now there were droplets of blood staining it, wide and conspicuous against a blank background.

He wanted to pull her chin over back again to face him, but his hands were covered in red, same as hers. He let his hands drop to his sides as he exited wordlessly, stepping out of the house as chaos raged on. Sirens blared and people were shouting to each other, pushing Danny into the back of the ambulance while Jack suddenly wished he could be back in the shelter of the house, where the panic was muted and he could think clearly.

"Jack?" Vivian asked, tapping his shoulder. "We should get to the hospital."

Behind them, Sam made her exit, entering the car and letting her hands rest on the steering wheel. On first glance they were clean, but further inspection revealed that there was still crusted blood under her fingernails, outlining the tips of her fingers. She had scrubbed them as hard as she could, but it would not remove itself from her.

Quietly Vivian, Jack and Martin slipped into the car, and they headed off to the hospital in silence.

--

The chairs were plastic and hard and uncomfortable, which was why Jack was pacing. Sam was sitting with her elbows placed on her knees and her face cradled in her hands, while Martin had his back straight up against the chair, still in a state of shock. Vivian was quietly murmuring into the pay phone as an uneasy silence had overcome the waiting area. The chair in the corner was inhabited by a disheveled Estrella.

For the waiting room of a hospital, it was unnaturally empty. The doctors and nurses rushing down the hallways, striding down the cold tile with long, purposeful steps, were always silent. It was unnerving, watching such panic take place in nearly complete quiet.

Eventually a doctor approached them and informed them that kin could go in and see Danny, but he was still on medication and would be a little groggy. Estrella left to go sit by him, and Jack didn't move. His eyes went in and out of focus as the hands on the clock moved without him even realizing it.

The blaring, garish sounds of Jack's cell phone penetrated the calm that had enveloped the team. "Malone," he answered, his voice sounding alien and distant to him.

Vivian watched him nod grimly as a sense of deepening dread began to grow in the pit of her stomach, until he finally shut his phone and spoke.

"That was the search party. They found a body."