SUMMARY: Harry tries to get away from it all. When Harry goes
back to Hogwarts, he lands detention and a certain blonde
Slytherin finds out some of his secrets. If you haven't guessed
it's Harry/Draco. Basic angst, cutting, rape, sex, and much much
more of slashy goodness! Other side pairings: R/Herm, Herm/G,
D/B, and whatever else graces my mind! Except Snape/Buckbeak! Bad
Bad BAD! So R&R! Pwease!
I do not own the Harry Potter characters or the books, JK does, but if I did I'd be rich and I wouldn't be writing this but hey I can dream. So don't bother suing because you won't get much!
My Salvation
Chapter 1 – The Beginning
It was a peaceful, quiet night in Little Whinging, Surrey and there was nothing out of the ordinary on Magnolia Crescent. Everything was the way it should be with everyone fast asleep with the lights turned off and the doors dead-bolted. However, something was out of the ordinary for a lone light shined out of the second story window of number 4 Privet Drive.
A young man of 16 stared avidly at his reflection in the bathroom mirror at midnight. He took off his glasses and gazed at his penetrating emerald green eyes. They were so much like his mother Lily's eyes, everyone said that but that was where the resemblance of his mother ended. They once appeared full of hope and innocence but now were deep clouded pools of hate, despair, and self-loathing.
The teenager then glared at his messy dark brown hair that was so much like his father's. Everyone thought he was the spitting image of his father. He mentally cursed the thought of his father and mother, bringing tears to his eyes for they were both murdered when he was an infant, just another tragic loss in his short but arduous life.
He then took his gaze off of his reflection as if it were too painful to bear and stared at his hand clutching a sharp kitchen knife. His eyes flicked back up to the mirror where he caught sight of a lightning bolt- shaped scar on his forehead. He despised this the most about his appearance. He blamed everything on that scar. Why he was parentless, why he had to live in hell with the Durlsleys, why Cedric had died, and why the only other person he cared about Sirius, his godfather, died. He shut his eyes reliving all those painful memories that he had to endure. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes but he wouldn't let them fall.
He put one of his hands over his wrists and uttered a little incantation, "Ostendo." Suddenly ugly red scars appeared where his hand had been. Some were pink and almost faded but others were fresh and deep. He'd been cutting to release his emotions instead of bottling it up, as he had been doing for so long. With cutting, he could say where it hurt and take away the other pain that was threatening to engulf him from the inside.
He put the knife over an unmarked piece of flesh and pushed down hard. He wanted to end it all right now, to be rid of the Hell that he was living in, his world of tragedy and torture and he finally wanted to be free. But he knew he couldn't because he was Harry James Potter, the savior of the whole entire Wizarding World. Too late, the blood already started to pour forth from the wound. Harry didn't really care; he just looked in awe at the crimson fluid coming out of his wrist. He began to feel woozy as the blood spattered the floor with red. He tried to steady himself with the sink but fell and hit his head and slipped into unconsciousness.
Some miles away Remus Lupin bolted up from his bed sensing something wasn't quite right.
*****
It was 12:10 in the morning and Remus Lupin was pacing the floor of his room at number 12 Grimmuald Place. He just flooed Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and head of the Order of the Phoenix, and told him to come immediately. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He sensed something wasn't right and he directly thought of Harry at the Dursley's house in muggle London. Finally, Dumbledore nonchalantly strolled through the fireplace to be greeted by the anxious werewolf.
"Remus, firstly try to calm down and secondly I assure you nothing is the matter. Arabella says that everything is sound on Privet drive. She heard no apparation pops so there couldn't possible be anything wrong."
"But I know what I feel, call it an animal instinct. Dumbledore, please, can we just pop by just to check. We are wasting valuable time. I'm begging you! Even if there is nothing wrong, nothing will be harmed."
"Ok Remus. I'll alert the Order members. We'll leave in twenty minutes."
"No! NOW!" Suddenly Remus grabbed onto Dumbledore and a snowglobe and they both felt the familiar feeling of being pulled by a hook in the navel.
They both found themselves in the kitchen of number 4 Privet Drive. Remus quickly explained about not wanting to wait and arranging a portkey so they could get there quickly. Dumbledore shook his head.
*Remus is sure acting strange tonight.*
Remus' nostrils flared and his ears seemingly perked up. He smelled danger and...blood.
"Up there." Remus pointed up to the ceiling as he made his way to the stairs. He leaped them three at a time making no noise.
Dumbledore followed with noiseless procession behind Remus. They came to the landing and opened a door, a loud grunt came from with, and Vernon Dursley turned over in his sleep. They tried the next room, Harry's room – EMPTY! They looked down the hall. There was a room with the door slightly a jar and a sliver of light shining through it. Remus threw back the door, which hit the wall with a bang and sent pictures of a fat whale that looked like a boy crashing to the ground.
"Oh shit!"
He found Harry Potter on the bathroom floor in a pool of what appeared to be his own blood. Remus could see that there were slices on his wrist all the way up to the elbow. He quickly spun around as he heard a yell from the room down the hall.
"That ruddy fucking maggot of a boy! Why is he slamming fucking doors in the middle of the fucking night!?" The big tub of lard stumbled out into the hall and stopped dead in his tracks as he caught sight of the two invaders and then later flicked to where Harry was sprawling in a pool of blood. Remus didn't care; he got to work stopping the blood flow.
"What is it -" asked Petunia Dursley from the doorway of the bedroom just stopping as she also saw the cause of the entire ruckus. She and Vernon were staring at the wand in Dumbledore's hand as if it were a nuclear missile.
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Dursley. We are just here to retrieve Harry so if you don't mind –"
"WE SO TOTALLY MIND," roared Vernon, "YOU...YOU FREAK!" Vernon crossed the distance between Dumbledore and himself and tried to punch the old twinkling eyed man but failed miserably only to have himself stunned. Petunia Dursley screamed and Dudley emerged sleepy-eyed from his room only to run to his mother and cower in fear at the sight of the wizards and his father lying on the floor.
Meanwhile Remus was trying to stabilize Harry and heal him so they could at least keep him alive until they could get him to a real Healer. He levitated Harry and saw the cowering Dursley's and the man on the floor.
"C'mon Dumbledore. Harry has lost a lot of blood. We have to floo him from Arabella's house."
"Madam, I'm sorry for the little intrusion. If you'll excuse us, this boy has lost a lot of blood and requires medical attention at once." With that he followed Remus but stopped halfway down the stairs, "Oh! I almost forgot. Your husband! Enervate." Dumbledore left before the beefy man could stir and walked down Privet Drive seeing Remus in the distance.
Just as Dumbledore approached the door it opened and Arabella greeted them with a smile but then gasped when she saw Harry with bloodstained clothes and skin.
"No questions Arabella. We just need to use your floo and we'll be out of here. However, please alert the Order members and especially Hermoine Granger and Ron Weasley that Harry has been hurt but is in our custody right now. Thank you." Dumbledore walked right past the stunned woman and Remus followed.
"Now, to St. Mungos."
"I think we should go to Grimmuald Place. How would it look if Harry went there for self-inflicted wounds? The Daily Prophet would have a field day! We have to protect Harry's privacy. Can't we just call Pomfrey to Grimmuald Place?"
"Good thinking Remus." He grabbed a pinch of floo and threw it into the fireplace, "Number 12 Grimmuald Place." As soon as Remus followed and transported Harry to a room, Dumbledore flooed Pomfrey, she arrived at once in her dressing gown and asked,
"Who's the patient? Oh who am I kidding? Where's Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore then lead the way to the room, all the while informing Madam Pomfrey of the situation. It was now 12:20. She quickly did a blood transfusion charm and a couple more healing charms.
"How will he be?"
"Mr. Potter will live. I didn't suspect this sort of injury. It's amazing."
"What's amazing?"
"How much he didn't want to live. His magic should have kicked in to save him, but it didn't. Well I think he should be seeing a therapist to talk about some of these things. He will awake in an hour. Have him take some of these." She handed them a dreamless sleeping draught and an anti-depressant potion. "I'll check up on him in the afternoon" She left the same way she came.
An hour later Harry Potter showed signs of awaking and Remus inched closer to the bed.
*****
Harry started to stir and Remus inched closer to the bed. Finally, Harry opened his eyes. He looked up at the ceiling, confusion plastering his face. Comprehension soon dawned and he looked at his scars and put his hands over his eyes.
"Oh shit."
"Exactly what I said when I found you." Remarked Remus to the distraught teen. Harry looked up startled to see a familiar and kind face.
"Just for clarification, am I dead?"
"No. Thank Gods! You are not dead. If you do that again I will kill you myself. Why did you do it? Pomfrey said that a person must really want to die if his magic doesn't kick in to save him."
"Don't. I don't want to talk about it. Not yet at least."
"Fine. You know you can talk to me. I'm here. We'll talk when you're ready. Just promise me you will." This is why Harry loved Remus, he was kind and not pushy; he let things take their own course.
"Of course I will Remus."
"So, ummmmmmm... How was the Dursley's house?" Remus tried to change the subject to a lighter tone.
"The usual; no food, a lot of cleaning, beatings. You know the regular. Always I'm fucking Cinderella, only I won't get my happy ending or my prince...or rather princess." Harry laughed in a hollow tone making Remus cringe.
Remus looked back in horror, "Beatings?"
"I'm joking! You know, being facetious."
"Well I'll let you get some sleep. I have to give you these potions. They are a dreamless sleeping draught and an anti-depressant. I'll see you in the morning." Harry then swallowed the potions and fell into the best sleep he had gotten in a while. It was 11:00 when he finally woke up the next day. He could hear muffled voices on the other side of his door.
Chapter 2 – Revelations
"Is he awake yet?" "Can we see him?" "What happened?" "Shhhhhhhhhh!" He heard a jumble of undistinguishable voices outside his door. Molly Weasley's voice clearly cut in,
"To tell you the truth Dumbledore and Remus have not told anyone what has happened to protect Harry. If he chooses to tell us then so be it, but don't push him to tell you. Fred and George! You are not lighting fireworks in this house!"
Harry quickly did a spell, "Abscondo." Which covered up his self-mutilation scars and he pretended to go back to sleep. He heard the doorknob turn and a shuffling of feet into his room.
"Is he awake?" Harry's best friend of the whole world, Ron Weasley asked.
"Does it look like it Ron?" shot Hermoine, Harry's other best friend.
"You don't have to be snippy about it, jeez." Ron answered. Harry could distinctly hear Ron whisper to someone beside him, "Must be that time of the month." Harry heard a slap and he figured she heard it too. He laughed inwardly as he pictured Hermoine slapping Ron across the face.
"Well it doesn't look like he's awake yet so we should leave him sleeping." They left in their wake an assortment of cards and candy on his bedside table. As soon as they left he sighed; Harry just wanted to be alone, just him and his thoughts. He asked himself, had he really wanted to die?
*Well obviously, dumbass, or you wouldn't have decided to play slice and dice on your wrist.* A voice inside him retorted.
#Shut up! Maybe it was just an accident. Was it?# Another voice echoed.
"I don't know." Harry said aloud to quiet down the voices. He heard Ron's voice in his head recalling what he said in their second year, "Hearing voices no one else can hear isn't a good sign, even in the wizarding world."
"I'm totally fucked!"
Just then, he heard fast-approaching footsteps, quickly lay back down, and again pretended to sleep. He heard the door open and close.
"You don't have to pretend with me Mr. Potter. Please get up." Madam Pomfrey said to the now wide-awake boy. Remus was also in the room.
"I can wait outside if you like Harry."
"No it's fine."
back to Hogwarts, he lands detention and a certain blonde
Slytherin finds out some of his secrets. If you haven't guessed
it's Harry/Draco. Basic angst, cutting, rape, sex, and much much
more of slashy goodness! Other side pairings: R/Herm, Herm/G,
D/B, and whatever else graces my mind! Except Snape/Buckbeak! Bad
Bad BAD! So R&R! Pwease!
I do not own the Harry Potter characters or the books, JK does, but if I did I'd be rich and I wouldn't be writing this but hey I can dream. So don't bother suing because you won't get much!
My Salvation
Chapter 1 – The Beginning
It was a peaceful, quiet night in Little Whinging, Surrey and there was nothing out of the ordinary on Magnolia Crescent. Everything was the way it should be with everyone fast asleep with the lights turned off and the doors dead-bolted. However, something was out of the ordinary for a lone light shined out of the second story window of number 4 Privet Drive.
A young man of 16 stared avidly at his reflection in the bathroom mirror at midnight. He took off his glasses and gazed at his penetrating emerald green eyes. They were so much like his mother Lily's eyes, everyone said that but that was where the resemblance of his mother ended. They once appeared full of hope and innocence but now were deep clouded pools of hate, despair, and self-loathing.
The teenager then glared at his messy dark brown hair that was so much like his father's. Everyone thought he was the spitting image of his father. He mentally cursed the thought of his father and mother, bringing tears to his eyes for they were both murdered when he was an infant, just another tragic loss in his short but arduous life.
He then took his gaze off of his reflection as if it were too painful to bear and stared at his hand clutching a sharp kitchen knife. His eyes flicked back up to the mirror where he caught sight of a lightning bolt- shaped scar on his forehead. He despised this the most about his appearance. He blamed everything on that scar. Why he was parentless, why he had to live in hell with the Durlsleys, why Cedric had died, and why the only other person he cared about Sirius, his godfather, died. He shut his eyes reliving all those painful memories that he had to endure. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes but he wouldn't let them fall.
He put one of his hands over his wrists and uttered a little incantation, "Ostendo." Suddenly ugly red scars appeared where his hand had been. Some were pink and almost faded but others were fresh and deep. He'd been cutting to release his emotions instead of bottling it up, as he had been doing for so long. With cutting, he could say where it hurt and take away the other pain that was threatening to engulf him from the inside.
He put the knife over an unmarked piece of flesh and pushed down hard. He wanted to end it all right now, to be rid of the Hell that he was living in, his world of tragedy and torture and he finally wanted to be free. But he knew he couldn't because he was Harry James Potter, the savior of the whole entire Wizarding World. Too late, the blood already started to pour forth from the wound. Harry didn't really care; he just looked in awe at the crimson fluid coming out of his wrist. He began to feel woozy as the blood spattered the floor with red. He tried to steady himself with the sink but fell and hit his head and slipped into unconsciousness.
Some miles away Remus Lupin bolted up from his bed sensing something wasn't quite right.
*****
It was 12:10 in the morning and Remus Lupin was pacing the floor of his room at number 12 Grimmuald Place. He just flooed Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and head of the Order of the Phoenix, and told him to come immediately. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He sensed something wasn't right and he directly thought of Harry at the Dursley's house in muggle London. Finally, Dumbledore nonchalantly strolled through the fireplace to be greeted by the anxious werewolf.
"Remus, firstly try to calm down and secondly I assure you nothing is the matter. Arabella says that everything is sound on Privet drive. She heard no apparation pops so there couldn't possible be anything wrong."
"But I know what I feel, call it an animal instinct. Dumbledore, please, can we just pop by just to check. We are wasting valuable time. I'm begging you! Even if there is nothing wrong, nothing will be harmed."
"Ok Remus. I'll alert the Order members. We'll leave in twenty minutes."
"No! NOW!" Suddenly Remus grabbed onto Dumbledore and a snowglobe and they both felt the familiar feeling of being pulled by a hook in the navel.
They both found themselves in the kitchen of number 4 Privet Drive. Remus quickly explained about not wanting to wait and arranging a portkey so they could get there quickly. Dumbledore shook his head.
*Remus is sure acting strange tonight.*
Remus' nostrils flared and his ears seemingly perked up. He smelled danger and...blood.
"Up there." Remus pointed up to the ceiling as he made his way to the stairs. He leaped them three at a time making no noise.
Dumbledore followed with noiseless procession behind Remus. They came to the landing and opened a door, a loud grunt came from with, and Vernon Dursley turned over in his sleep. They tried the next room, Harry's room – EMPTY! They looked down the hall. There was a room with the door slightly a jar and a sliver of light shining through it. Remus threw back the door, which hit the wall with a bang and sent pictures of a fat whale that looked like a boy crashing to the ground.
"Oh shit!"
He found Harry Potter on the bathroom floor in a pool of what appeared to be his own blood. Remus could see that there were slices on his wrist all the way up to the elbow. He quickly spun around as he heard a yell from the room down the hall.
"That ruddy fucking maggot of a boy! Why is he slamming fucking doors in the middle of the fucking night!?" The big tub of lard stumbled out into the hall and stopped dead in his tracks as he caught sight of the two invaders and then later flicked to where Harry was sprawling in a pool of blood. Remus didn't care; he got to work stopping the blood flow.
"What is it -" asked Petunia Dursley from the doorway of the bedroom just stopping as she also saw the cause of the entire ruckus. She and Vernon were staring at the wand in Dumbledore's hand as if it were a nuclear missile.
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Dursley. We are just here to retrieve Harry so if you don't mind –"
"WE SO TOTALLY MIND," roared Vernon, "YOU...YOU FREAK!" Vernon crossed the distance between Dumbledore and himself and tried to punch the old twinkling eyed man but failed miserably only to have himself stunned. Petunia Dursley screamed and Dudley emerged sleepy-eyed from his room only to run to his mother and cower in fear at the sight of the wizards and his father lying on the floor.
Meanwhile Remus was trying to stabilize Harry and heal him so they could at least keep him alive until they could get him to a real Healer. He levitated Harry and saw the cowering Dursley's and the man on the floor.
"C'mon Dumbledore. Harry has lost a lot of blood. We have to floo him from Arabella's house."
"Madam, I'm sorry for the little intrusion. If you'll excuse us, this boy has lost a lot of blood and requires medical attention at once." With that he followed Remus but stopped halfway down the stairs, "Oh! I almost forgot. Your husband! Enervate." Dumbledore left before the beefy man could stir and walked down Privet Drive seeing Remus in the distance.
Just as Dumbledore approached the door it opened and Arabella greeted them with a smile but then gasped when she saw Harry with bloodstained clothes and skin.
"No questions Arabella. We just need to use your floo and we'll be out of here. However, please alert the Order members and especially Hermoine Granger and Ron Weasley that Harry has been hurt but is in our custody right now. Thank you." Dumbledore walked right past the stunned woman and Remus followed.
"Now, to St. Mungos."
"I think we should go to Grimmuald Place. How would it look if Harry went there for self-inflicted wounds? The Daily Prophet would have a field day! We have to protect Harry's privacy. Can't we just call Pomfrey to Grimmuald Place?"
"Good thinking Remus." He grabbed a pinch of floo and threw it into the fireplace, "Number 12 Grimmuald Place." As soon as Remus followed and transported Harry to a room, Dumbledore flooed Pomfrey, she arrived at once in her dressing gown and asked,
"Who's the patient? Oh who am I kidding? Where's Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore then lead the way to the room, all the while informing Madam Pomfrey of the situation. It was now 12:20. She quickly did a blood transfusion charm and a couple more healing charms.
"How will he be?"
"Mr. Potter will live. I didn't suspect this sort of injury. It's amazing."
"What's amazing?"
"How much he didn't want to live. His magic should have kicked in to save him, but it didn't. Well I think he should be seeing a therapist to talk about some of these things. He will awake in an hour. Have him take some of these." She handed them a dreamless sleeping draught and an anti-depressant potion. "I'll check up on him in the afternoon" She left the same way she came.
An hour later Harry Potter showed signs of awaking and Remus inched closer to the bed.
*****
Harry started to stir and Remus inched closer to the bed. Finally, Harry opened his eyes. He looked up at the ceiling, confusion plastering his face. Comprehension soon dawned and he looked at his scars and put his hands over his eyes.
"Oh shit."
"Exactly what I said when I found you." Remarked Remus to the distraught teen. Harry looked up startled to see a familiar and kind face.
"Just for clarification, am I dead?"
"No. Thank Gods! You are not dead. If you do that again I will kill you myself. Why did you do it? Pomfrey said that a person must really want to die if his magic doesn't kick in to save him."
"Don't. I don't want to talk about it. Not yet at least."
"Fine. You know you can talk to me. I'm here. We'll talk when you're ready. Just promise me you will." This is why Harry loved Remus, he was kind and not pushy; he let things take their own course.
"Of course I will Remus."
"So, ummmmmmm... How was the Dursley's house?" Remus tried to change the subject to a lighter tone.
"The usual; no food, a lot of cleaning, beatings. You know the regular. Always I'm fucking Cinderella, only I won't get my happy ending or my prince...or rather princess." Harry laughed in a hollow tone making Remus cringe.
Remus looked back in horror, "Beatings?"
"I'm joking! You know, being facetious."
"Well I'll let you get some sleep. I have to give you these potions. They are a dreamless sleeping draught and an anti-depressant. I'll see you in the morning." Harry then swallowed the potions and fell into the best sleep he had gotten in a while. It was 11:00 when he finally woke up the next day. He could hear muffled voices on the other side of his door.
Chapter 2 – Revelations
"Is he awake yet?" "Can we see him?" "What happened?" "Shhhhhhhhhh!" He heard a jumble of undistinguishable voices outside his door. Molly Weasley's voice clearly cut in,
"To tell you the truth Dumbledore and Remus have not told anyone what has happened to protect Harry. If he chooses to tell us then so be it, but don't push him to tell you. Fred and George! You are not lighting fireworks in this house!"
Harry quickly did a spell, "Abscondo." Which covered up his self-mutilation scars and he pretended to go back to sleep. He heard the doorknob turn and a shuffling of feet into his room.
"Is he awake?" Harry's best friend of the whole world, Ron Weasley asked.
"Does it look like it Ron?" shot Hermoine, Harry's other best friend.
"You don't have to be snippy about it, jeez." Ron answered. Harry could distinctly hear Ron whisper to someone beside him, "Must be that time of the month." Harry heard a slap and he figured she heard it too. He laughed inwardly as he pictured Hermoine slapping Ron across the face.
"Well it doesn't look like he's awake yet so we should leave him sleeping." They left in their wake an assortment of cards and candy on his bedside table. As soon as they left he sighed; Harry just wanted to be alone, just him and his thoughts. He asked himself, had he really wanted to die?
*Well obviously, dumbass, or you wouldn't have decided to play slice and dice on your wrist.* A voice inside him retorted.
#Shut up! Maybe it was just an accident. Was it?# Another voice echoed.
"I don't know." Harry said aloud to quiet down the voices. He heard Ron's voice in his head recalling what he said in their second year, "Hearing voices no one else can hear isn't a good sign, even in the wizarding world."
"I'm totally fucked!"
Just then, he heard fast-approaching footsteps, quickly lay back down, and again pretended to sleep. He heard the door open and close.
"You don't have to pretend with me Mr. Potter. Please get up." Madam Pomfrey said to the now wide-awake boy. Remus was also in the room.
"I can wait outside if you like Harry."
"No it's fine."