Four. Down on my knees
#But it makes me believe in life again#
There are days where I can't stop talking about you
There are days I can't stop saying your name
And I'm looking for ways never to part from you
Everything changes and you still stay the same
The clinking of dishes and the noise of fat sizzling in polished pans filled the air that was impregnated with the scents of lunch and various spices. The swinging double doors at the far end of the room were opened every now and then when a waiter appeared to get an ordered meal, the sound of conversations softly swepping in.
A young man was standing in front of one of the innumerable stoves, his tall form bent over a silver pot that was filled with an exotic smelling sauce. He was tasting his creation with a suspiciously raised brow while panning fried vegetables with his left hand skillfully as if he had never done anything else in his entire life, his attentive, auburn eyes already scanning the place for the salt. This time, there were no unruly strands blocking his view for a small ribbon was obstinately taming his mop of raven-black hair at the back of his head and a white cap kept his forehead free from escaped streaks, only a few ones sticking out at the sides.
With a swift motion, he lifted the pan off of the stove and emptied it on a white plate where rice had already been arranged together with a deliciously smelling fish. After quickly adding the sauce, he grabbed the plate together with another one that was already done and put them onto a counter, placing a sign with a black 26 on it beside them.
The shadow of a smile crossed his features when he saw out of the corners of his eyes the figure that was standing right behind the counter, a figure that definitely didn't belong into the kitchen of the Escaflowne.
"You were supposed to call me," the young woman in the yellow summer dress stated angrily and tapped a flip flopped foot on the tiled ground, her shining, pink hair held back in pigtails.
"I was?" Van replied nonchalantly without even looking up, reaching for a bunch of carrots to his right and began to cut them with quick and fluent movements.
"Yes, Van!" Merle countered vividly, glaring at him with iced blue eyes and her delicate brows knitted. "What is it with you? I asked you to call me right after the date and you agreed!"
"You pestered me until I agreed, correct," the young man said dryly and wiped his forehead at the sleeve of his black shirt, before putting the carrots in a pot with boiling water. "And?"
"And?" she echoed in disbelief, the scowl on her features telling him that she would strangle him without hesitation if he just wasn't holding a knife with a sparkling blade in his hand that second. "You didn't call me! I wanted to know everything! Every little detail!"
"Why calling when there was no need to?" Van replied with a shrug and turned away, heading to the huge, silver fridge to get a bowl with seafood.
"Would you, please, stop talking in riddles!" the blue-eyed girl furiously blurted out, fed up with his mascarade of indifference. Almost unconsciously, she stepped out of the way of the waiter who had just entered but was too busy with thinking of an appropriate way to unman Van later that she didn't even notice the flirtatious grin the curly-haired man gave her. "I'm not in the mood, now, to decipher these cryptic words of yours!"
"And you came all the way here from Pallas to tell me this," he stated, eyes narrowed in search for the bowl, and Merle felt like screaming because of his unimpressed tone. He stood with his broad back to her so she couldn't see his face, couldn't see his eyes, couldn't tell if he was trying to distract her from something else.
She took a deep breath before replying. "Yes, I came all the way here by bus, just to inform you, to kick your butt," she said with a calm but strained voice, hardly able to control her temper. "I thought you had dropped this lone-wolf-attitude where your goal in life was to scare everybody away with being a total ass. I thought you had opened up. Okay, you and me being a couple didn't work and I know that it will never work but, at least, I thought you were my friend. I thought you trusted me. I -- "
Turning around, the raven-haired man raised his head and gave her a look that made her immediately close her mouth, the fire in his boundless orbs able to boil water at that very moment. "She stood me up," he finally told Merle with a matter-of-fact voice and directed his eyes back down to the seafood, dissolving the numbness he had pulled her into.
"She what?" the young woman questioned quietly and stared at Van who was just drying his tanned hands at the once white apron around his waist that showed the menu of the day quite clearly. "But why? Did she tell you why?"
"I probably scared her," Van replied with a smile that did not reach his eyes and dropped his hands. "Gods, I feel like a damn stalker! And even when I didn't scare her already with asking her for a date, I scared her away a hundred percent with this last, more than insane idea of mine."
Merle frowned even more at the boyish grin that rushed across his lips by then like a shooting star across the night sky and was just about to open her mouth when he looked up, facing her. "Obviously, I can't get rid of this old habit," he said and shook his head, before asking with the most desperate expression on his face she had ever seen, "Did I screw it, Merle?"
"Oh, Van," was all the young woman could reply, her features softening instantly, and he shook his head again.
What did she do to him? What did she do to make him turn into a lovesick fool? He just didn't know and he found himself at a point where he was willing to do everything just to see her again, to be near her again. Only it seemed that everything wasn't enough or maybe everything was too much. He simply didn't know what to do for no matter what he did, it seemed to be always wrong.
What did she do to bring him down to his knees?
"Hey, Van," Merle's soft voice reached him in his reverie and he tried to blink the confusing thoughts from his mind. She gave him a warm and patient smile and pointed at something beside him. "Your bouillabaisse is boiling over."
Looking down, his eyes widened by the sight of seashells dancing in white foam and he swore that even Merle covered her ears, a look of pure disapproval on her face. Reaching for a dishtowel beside him, he pulled the pot away from the stove that was now soaked with fish soup.
"Seems as if I can't do anything right," he muttered and wiped the liquid off of the stove, dark brows knitted in annoyance.
"When did you turn in such a crybaby?" Merle questioned frankly with her arms crossed in front of her chest, only to have him shoot an angry glare at her. "When did you stop to fight? You know, it would be quite more effective if you just stopped complaining and did something against this miserable situation of yours!"
"Oh really?" Van replied harshly and collected seashells and pieces of carrots which had been lifted out of the pot by the violantly boiling water, throwing them across the room into a huge trash can. "And, Dr. Shrink, what is it I could do?"
"You could treat me a coffee," she stated matter-of-factly and glanced at him like a cat would watch a mouse she pretended not to see. "And you could tell me what stupid thing you exactly did to scare her away for I think that I missed quite a lot there...when is your shift over?"
Van graced her with a look that should proabably ask her if she was kidding and tell her that she better left him alone – unfortunately, Merle was deaf concerning this kind of conversation. She had always been.
She had never cared about him wanting to be alone but had rather plopped down beside him, giving him no chance at all to get lost in his thoughts. Everything was her doing; their friendship as well as their relationship. She had always been the one to take the first step and he didn't regret that he hadn't stepped backwards but remained still, waiting for her approach. He knew that his life would have been a whole lot different without the pink-haired whirlwind, a whole lot calmer and way less spontanuous.
He sighed in surrender when he saw her tap her foot impatiently on the ground (what he had learned was a very bad sign) and looked at the wall clock above the doors that led into the restaurant.
"Half an hour ago," he answered with a sigh and scratched the back of his head. "My shift ended half an hour ago. Dilandau's late like usual. Maybe there was a fire to lit somewhere."
Merle raised a questioning eyebrow at him, obviously confused. "Don't you mean a fire to extinguish?" she asked and Van grinned lazily.
"Oh no, I meant exactly what I said," he drawled and Merle raised her second brow as well, looking like the epitome of a question mark. "Believe me, within this last year I spent with him in one dorm room plus these added weeks here in the restaurant, I learned more about the guy than was healthy for me. I still don't know why the little pyro had been employed here for I think it was a really careless thing to do."
And as if on cue, the high noise of glass and porcelain shattering to pieces suddenly echoed within the kitchen, followed by a string of curses. Curious, Van stepped around his stove and glanced along the hallway, groaning in exasperation when he found mentioned roommate standing in the doorway with his hands raised in defence and the curly-haired waiter from before kneeling in a heap of broken crockery crowned with potatoes and vegetables, glaring daggers at the albino.
His tall and lanky form was clad in black, emphazising his gene-defect- determined paleness to an unhealthy amount, his red eyes glowing like the breaklights of a car at night. The man was a walking contrast and he still wondered why people cleared a path for him wherever he appeared.
Dilandau stepped carefully over a steak with a truly offended expression on his features and making his way towards Van, a huge grin spread across his face by spotting the dark-haired man.
"Good mornin', Van-man," he greeted cheerfully and slapped Van on the shoulder, winking at Merle and completely ignoring the lethal expression in Van's seething auburn eyes.
"Good afternoon, idiot," the young man barked in reply, not even trying to restrain himself.
"What is it with you guys, today?" Dilandau countered in confusion, taking a step backwards, and ran a hand through his chin-long, silvery white hair that was held back by a yellow headband. The man had no sense of colours as well. "Did I miss the announcement of the Day-to-insult-Dilandau or what? Go live up your frustration somewhere else coz I've got feelings, too, you know?!"
Van barked a laugh. "You keep telling that yourself," he mocked and began to untie the apron from around his waist. "Maybe you should have thought about that before oversleeping. Your shift began thirty minutes ago."
"Damn, you serious?" Dilandau asked, shocked, and his red eyes darted around in search for the choleric chef who would probably chop off his head if he got to know about Dilandau's lateness, yet again. "You could have called me, man!"
"I'm not your mother, Albatou," Van growled in reply with narrowed eyes and took off his cap, pitch-black strands immediately tumbling into his face as if they had been waiting for it the whole time.
Dilandau raised his pale brows in mock innocence. "You're not?" he questioned with faked confusion, almost invisible brows raised, and cackled when he was rewarded with Van's cap and apron being chucked at his head.
Whistling to himself, the albino made himself feel at home in the kitchen, Van leaving for the door while shaking his head.
"Wait, it is way past two and he just awoke?" Merle asked beside him and glanced back at Dilandau who was playing with a lighter while waiting for the water to boil. "What is he doing at night?"
"There are a few things, I can die happy without ever getting to know them," Van began slowly and reached up to loosen the ribbon that had tamed his stubborn hair, placing it back in the usual state of disorder with one hand. "And Dilandau's nightly activities are definitely on the top of the list."
Without wasting a second thought, Merle quickly caught his wrist before he could exit the room and made him stop, the young man stiffening instantly. "Did you already tell her?" she asked quietly, watching Van's stony expression with narrowed blue eyes.
"She didn't ask yet," he replied flatly, staring down at where she touched him and made an attempt to continue his way out of the kitchen.
"Would you have told her if she had asked?" Merle questioned, still not letting go of his arm but rather tightening her vice-like grip, forcing him to a halt again.
Van didn't reply. He only raised his gaze, ever so slowly, and Merle had to face bottomless pools of a rare reddish-brown, like chestnuts in the light of the setting sun, making her aware once more of why she had fallen so hard for him. Only this time, there was nothing in his eyes but something she had only seen once; at the day when they had broken up – self-disdain.
#--#
She sat quietly on the swing that stood calmly in a corner of their porch, a light breeze dishevelling her short, wheat-coloured tresses. It carried the faint scent of lillies and coffee from the garden of their neighbours, soft conversations hovering in the air together with the warmth of the day.
Her hands were folded in her lap and her blind green eyes were focused on the spot where she heard her mother work at the flower borders, a bark of a dog or the laughter of children breaking the silence every now and then. The swing was squeaking quietly while moving slightly back and forth, just as if the wind was pushing it.
"Well?" an all too familiar voice stated beside her, making her blink, and Yukari didn't even try to not sound annoyed and impatient.
"What's the matter, Yukari?" Hitomi asked slowly and brushed a dancing strand of hair out of her face that was tickling over her skin.
The redhead snorted and crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking like a pouting child. "I'm still waiting for you to admit that you made a mistake," she explained casually and watched her friend with narrowed eyes, searching for a reaction, any reaction.
"Why do you think I would do that?" Hitomi replied and directed her gaze to the ground, green orbs hiding behind swung lashes and her fingers playing absently with the hem of her shirt.
"Why else should you have asked me to come over?" Yukari countered, her brown eyes never leaving Hitomi's form that was covered with the softly moving shadows of the sunlit foliage that was spanned above them, sunlight twinkling between the rustling leaves. "Except there was something else I should know..."
It was silent after Yukari had trailed off, the redhead pushing the swing gently with one bare foot that rested on the warm boards of the porch. She knew that there was no use in pressing Hitomi for the green-eyed woman would simply shut her out. It was one of the things Yukari had slowly learned over the years; either Hitomi decided to tell her or she decided not to tell her.
But this time, there was something around her that told Yukari that the sandy-blonde didn't want to tell but wanted her to find out. Yukari knew that Hitomi was about to burst inwardly, her restless fingers just one of the signs, but though rigid to simply tell it.
"Well," Yukari tried again, her shoulder-long tresses sparkling in the sunlight and an amused smile playing across her lips.
Cocking her head to the sight, she watched Hitomi turn and hesitantly face her, her gaze however resting on everything but the redhead. The young woman was mildly surprised when her green-eyed friend produced a thick book from beside her, placing it in front of Yukari and turning away again, making her friend raise her delicate brows.
"A braille book," she stated and frowned at Hitomi before carefully stretching out her hand, running over the bumps on the cover with her fingertips. "A dictionary? Hitomi, what...?"
"He gave it to me," she stated quietly, staring out into nothing, and Yukari's eyes widened. "Two days ago, he dispatched himself by UPS and gave it to me."
"He did what?" Yukari asked in disbelief and amusement, not knowing if her friend was joking or not, and glanced back down at the book when Hitomi made no move to reply.
The thin pages seemed empty if one looked from afar but revealed an irregular pattern of dots by giving them a closer look. It was a fascinating language of its own and Yukari had early started to learn it, finding great joy in deciphering the dots. A smile stole across her lips when she remembered that Hitomi hadn't been so happy about teaching her for Yukari could be worse than a furious and stomping, little girl in the center of a mall when something didn't go the way she wanted to.
Raising her gaze briefly, she caught a glimpse of the six-year-old Hitomi who had sat alone in the shadows of an old oak tree, with strands of honey- blond hair dancing in the sunlight, her small fingers curiously inspecting a leaf. By that time, Yukari hadn't known how much the unconspicuous girl would influence and change her life, how much she would teach her. She hadn't known what kind of effect the decision to keep the lonely girl company would have on her. But that was something Hitomi was completely oblivious to; she didn't know the extend of the impact she could have on people's life – an impact Yukari would always be grateful for.
The pages were rustling through her fingers and she looked down just in time to spot something that actually didn't belong there, stopping right before the cover swung shut with her brows raised. Her fingers grazed over the first page where a few words were written in black ink and a surprisingly neat and expressive handwriting, the letters long and slightly tilted like trees in a storm.
"There is something written," she stated quietly and Hitomi's heart involuntarily skipped a beat, the young woman though remaining as motionless as if she were made of stone. Yukari however took it as an approval to continue; she could read Hitomi even if she was a statue. And yet the redhead knew that she was just someone who pretended to be a statue, the masquerade busted if one took the time to stop and give her a closer look. After all, even Hitomi needed to breathe.
"You only get to know the weight of a word when you keep it," the redhead read softly and the words were like a leaf in the wind, dancing around Hitomi and repeating themselves in her mind.
She took a shuddering breath and clutched the wood of the swing tightly, before she spoke. "Do you think I made a mistake?" she whispered, reluctantly uttering what she had been trying so hard to deny.
She had denied that Yukari had been right, with everything she had said. Right about her hypocrisy and continuous search for excuses, right about him. And Hitomi had put so much effort in lying to herself that she was now completely exhausted, drained and tired. And afraid.
Afraid because admitting the denial towards Yukari meant that she had been denying a lot more. It meant that she had denied that everything had affected her more than she wanted it to. Denied that there was something happening to her when she was near him, denied that he could actually mean something to her. And it scared her beyond herself.
Yukari leaned back against the backrest and looked out into the garden of the Kanzaki's, moving the swing softly with her feet and watching Hitomi's mother chat with a neighbor. "It's not important what I think, Hitomi," she replied quietly, slowly closing the book that lay beside her. "What do you think?"
"I don't know," she answered, still refusing to face her friend who rolled her brown eyes in exasperation.
"You're the most undecided person I know!" the redhead exclaimed and ran a desperate hand through her shoulder-long hair. "I mean you're managing your life way better than me but when it comes to certain situations you're hopelessly hesitant! You've got all possibilities given but you don't know what you want and that's the main problem here. You don't know if you should study to become a teacher for blind people or not though you'd make it a hundred per cent, you don't know if you should move out or not though you'd definitely manage it, you don't know if you should give Van a chance or not though..."
"He kissed me."
At once, the swinging stopped.
"Excuse me but I think I just hallucinated," Yukari muttered and rubbed her ears, ever so slowly turning to face Hitomi whose lips twitched briefly. "I thought you said that he had kissed you."
"He gave me the book, kissed me and left," Hitomi replied and leaned against the backrest as well, covering her face with her hands. She could feel her cheeks heat up by just thinking of it. "Now, oh Goddess of Advices, what am I supposed to do?"
"Well, is he a good kisser?" the redhead questioned bluntly with a smirk on her features and Hitomi sank even farther into the swing, groaning by feeling her cheeks burn against her palms.
"You're not of great help," she mumbled and her friend grinned even wider.
"It's quite a surprise and I don't know how I can help you at all," Yukari stated with a sigh and smiled wistfully. "At first, you have to clarify for yourself what you want. I know that you don't like to make decisions but you will have to, that's for sure. You can't keep up this lukewarm behavior for he won't be waiting forever."
"How do I know what I want?" Hitomi questioned, the words muffled for she was still burying her face in her hands.
Yukari gave a laugh and shook her head in amusement, red strands swaying gently. "Don't ask me," she answered and glanced at the young woman beside her. "That you have to find out for yourself. But say, did it affect you in any way?"
She was quiet, slowly breathing in and out, the voice of her enthusiastically chatting mother and the rustling of the leaves above sounding as if coming from far away. It was when Yukari's chuckling broke the silence.
"No wait, it did affect you or we wouldn't be here having this conversation," she exclaimed expertly, leaning close to Hitomi in order to whisper in her ear. "What did you feel?"
The regularly rising and falling of the green-eyed woman's chest stopped and her heart beat so loud that it drowned all the other noises around her. What had she been feeling?
She had felt something that was beyond words, beyond description, beyond explaining. Van. He had been everywhere around her; in the gentle touch of his lips, in the warmth he had wrapped her in, in the pleasant scent of sunkissed fields that had surrounded him, in the tender caress of the wind and the soft whisper of lush leaves. He had been the air she had breathed in, that very moment.
"When I sit back and just listen, he's there, on my mind," Hitomi whispered instead of answering, closing her blind eyes and Yukari stretched out her hand to touch her friend's forearm. "But I'm afraid that he'll hurt me as well, 'Kari."
"I absolutely understand that but it's something nobody can guarantee you, Hitomi," the redhead replied quietly, with a small smile on her lips. "Neither me nor Van himself. It's up to you to decide if it's worth it to take the risk or not. It's like sky-diving."
"What do you say should I do?" the young woman questioned and tilted her head slightly to the side, facing Yukari.
"I can't decide that for you," she stated simply and Hitomi sighed, running a hand through her short hair.
"What would you do?" she asked and earned a smile, Yukari tightening the hold on her forearm.
"I'd close my eyes and just jump."
Dropping her hands, Hitomi directed her gaze up at the wooden roof that spanned half of the porch. "I don't have my parachute here," she said and a grin spread over Yukari's face that threatened to split her skull.
#--#
Rays of sunlight fell through the high windows that hemmed the hallways of the dormitory which belonged to Isaac-Dornkirk-University, situated at the far end of the campus. The building was of the same architectural style as was the university itself, looking like an old palace and reminding of the institute's long history, the unique blue roof sparkling like the sea at a cloudless day.
The old stones radiated a pleasant coolness, the vibrating heat of the day locked out by massive oak doors. The dormitory was almost empty for most of the students were enjoying the summer break somewhere else but there, the only noise that of footsteps echoing along the hallway.
"If I'm not completely mistaken," a red-haired woman stated and turned the small map she was holding upside down, cocking her head to the side. "I think it's up this stairway."
Hitomi leaned on her stick and raised a delicate eyebrow at her friend, pushing her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose. "I don't know if you already forgot but these were exactly the words you said when we were standing at the bottom of the last two stairways," she replied dryly and Yukari just shrugged.
"I know," she huffed and folded the map, only to wave it in front of Hitomi's face. "But assuming that I read the map right and only held it wrong these last two times, we have to be right this time."
"Logic isn't yours, is it, 'Kari?!" Hitomi said matter-of-factly and slowly straightened, groping with her stick skillfully for the first step.
"Why no," she exclaimed in response and Hitomi shook her head in resignation at the pride that sounded with the words, the redhead sprinting past her up the stairs. "Come on, sleepyhead! When you slow down only a bit more, you're walking backwards!"
Smiling softly to herself, the young woman continued her way up the slightly winding stairway, her friend's enthusiasm somehow not jumping to her. She felt more like turning around, heading back down those damn stairs and straight out of the building, felt like running across the campus and the city only to be far far away from this university; far away from him.
She didn't know what had gotten into her in the first place. Why was she here at all? Why was she combing this dormitory as if her life depended on it? Why was she about to make a complete fool out of herself? Yukari had put something in her drink, that was for sure. That was the only explanation she could find – and if she kept telling it to herself, she would maybe actually believe it.
"Looks good," Yukari declared with a satisfied smirk when Hitomi reached the top of the stairs, a light-flooded hallway lying directly ahead.
Various doors were hemming it, quiet music and muffled conversations penetrating the first one on the right. Hitomi took a few careful steps ahead and when Yukari made no move to stop her but rather joined her side, quietly humming to herself, she continued her way down the hallway.
"Which one is it?" she asked quietly, gaze directed to the ground and the redhead watching her out of the corners of her eyes with her hands linked behind her head.
"Three meters and then, turn left," she replied and Hitomi nodded slowly, coming to a halt right in front of the dark-brown door with a golden 24 attached to it, the precious metal already tarnishing at the edges.
She inhaled deeply, trying desperately to ignore the furious beating of her amok-running heart and once again wondered why for heaven's sake she was doing that! "Yukari, I --" she began, twisting her stick as if the world would crumble if she stopped doing it, but the readhead quickly interupted.
"No, it was a good idea, Hitomi," she assured with a sigh of exhaustion, knowing exactly what her green-eyed friend had wanted to say. "Stop complaining and just knock, he won't bite off your head. But just in case, I'll be waiting outside...that was my good deed of the day for you. The rest of the world is still waiting."
Hitomi's green eyes widened behind the sunglasses. "Wait, Yukari, you can't possibly --" the young woman interupted but the redhead only smirked, brown eyes dancing with girlish mischief.
"You can't expect me to wait here and watch when you get all intimate with him," she stated with a casual shrug and put a hand over Hitomi's mouth before she could screech in protest, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do as well."
With that said and a last warm smile, Yukari turned around and left Hitomi alone in front of the door, staring motionlessly at the old wood with her cheeks glowing red.
A heavy silence was surrounding her after Yukari's footsteps had faded into the distance, even the music that had hovered in the hallway gone. Now, she was only one knock away from him. Only one knock and he would be there, chasing her heart into her throat and all coherent thoughts from her mind with his mere presence. One knock and she would forget everything she had wanted to say.
Knock and run, Hitomi!, a voice in her head shouted and she groaned. What was she? Thirteen years old?
She couldn't count how many times she had been asking herself if that all was for real. Why would someone do things like these? Why for her? There were thousands of other women living in this city, millions of other women in this country, billions of them on this planet! Women who were a lot more beautiful than her and he just happened to be after her? How unreal was that?
But when had she actually begun to care?
When had she begun to be interested in him? When had she begun to search the questions that would lead her to the answers of the mysteries he seemed to arise wherever he appeared? She couldn't tell. She simply couldn't tell what he had done to once again kindle the flame of hope inside her though she had thought it had been completely extinguished, drowned in a flood of tears.
But oh, how foolish to believe in everlasting love. How foolish to believe people wouldn't change. How foolish to assume that just because she loved from the bottom of her heart and with the very essence of her soul, he would do the same. Yes, how foolish she had been. Everybody had told her that love could make one grow wings but nobody had warned her how damn much it would hurt to have them ripped out in flight, nothing left to break the fall.
And yet, there she was, with her head tilted backwards so to face the sky, not knowing what she was waiting for.
Hitomi sighed and looked up, her blind gaze focused on the door. Maybe he wasn't there.
She stopped with her hand half raised and hesitated, not continuing in order to knock but to slowly, so very slowly, take off the sunglasses that had been hiding her emerald eyes. Taking a deep breath, she ran a hand through her short hair and let them slip into the pocket of her beige capri- pants, eyes never leaving the door.
The knock echoed down the empty and silent hallway and was only drowned by the roaring of blood in her ears, her other hand holding the stick tightly.
Well, she could still turn around and leave, the thirteen-year-old girl inside her would dance a jig. She could still leave and pretend it never happened, pretend she never came here for him, pretend that he hadn't been on her mind for these last days.
She was just about to take a step backwards when the door swung open, the hinges squeaking quietly in protest, and her breath caught in her throat.
The scent of lilac was immediately filling her nostrils. "Yes?"
What a strange feeling when your heart suddenly starts beating again.
Hitomi blinked and let go the breath she had been holding, tilting her head slightly to the side with a frown on her features. That wasn't the voice she had been expecting to hear. She should just quit trusting Yukari concerning matters of navigation. But who cared about directions anyway?
"I'm sorry, I made a mistake about the room," Hitomi apologized with her eyes directed to the ground, avoiding to look up at the stranger in front of her.
"No, wait," the young woman in the doorway replied, stopping Hitomi's attempt to leave and ran a hand through her sparkling, blond tresses that curled all the way down to her shoulderblades and reflected the sunlight that fell through a window behind her. Her eyes were watching Hitomi with open curiosity, sparkling, pure amethysts framed by long and darkened lashes. "Do you want to speak with Dilandau maybe?"
And as if on command, her heart skipped a beat again like a horse that suddenly jumped into gallop, remembering his words in the car. "No, actually I wanted to speak with his roommate, Van," she countered quietly in order to hide the shaking of her voice. "Is he in there?"
"Van?!" the blonde woman echoed in mild surprise and Hitomi could hear her eyebrows rise, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Now, that's a surprise. Who are you?"
"My name is Hitomi but --" she began to explain, though not coming to finish.
"Ah, so you are the one who turned him in a puberting school-boy," the violet-eyed woman stated, with amusement swinging in her melodic voice and a wide smirk adorning her soft features. "I'm glad to finally get to know you."
Her tone was that of someone who knew too much, way too much. "Listen," Hitomi spoke up again and rose her hands. "I don't know what you mean and I think it probably --"
"Of course, you don't," she interfered again, still smiling broadly, and Hitomi sighed in surrender. "But maybe you come in first. Van's late. He should have been here quite some time ago but I think he'll be back within the next minutes."
"I don't know," Hitomi murmured and twisted her stick between her fingers but the young woman in the doorframe just shook her beautiful head, uncompromisingly grabbing Hitomi's slim wrists and dragging her in.
At once, a wave of new scents flooded her and she stopped right behind the door, not daring to take a step ahead. It smelled like fresh-washed clothes and wet earth, a light trace of something burnt among it.
After quietly shutting the door, the young woman passed her by in a cloud of lilac and began to collect the various magazines she had been successfully scattering all across the bed of the two ones in the room that was made and in a radius of two meters around it.
"Forgive me the mess," she said when picking up a bag with potato chips, unfortunately lifting it at the wrong end and spilling the content noisily across the comforter and parquet floor. She sighed and ruffled her long hair in a desperate fashion. "Van is usually a really tidy person but I leave a path of disorder wherever I go, I just can't help."
"Well, actually," Hitomi replied with a smile and held up her stick, with a provokingly raised brow. "I don't care."
"Right," the young woman grinned and placed the pile of magazines on the desk beside the bed that was covered with notes and opened books. "But, please, take a seat or something so that I don't feel like the most terrible host on this planet anymore."
"I'd rather stand, thank you," she stated quietly, blind green eyes focused on the ground and ears pricked.
The blond-haired woman nodded briefly and absently brushed some potato chips crumbs off of her white spaghetti strapped top while intently watching her guest.
Hitomi was bathed in sunlight that fell through the only window in the room, painting a golden shimmering aura around her, reflections dancing across her hair as if it was made of water. Her eyes the colour of the first leaves in spring were darting nervously over the ground and her slim fingers were twisting the stick, rosy lips slightly parted. Right then, she looked as fragile as a crystal swan with her head bend down, honey-blond tresses brushing over her pale cheeks.
"And you are?" she suddenly broke the silence, feeling more and more misplaced with only the noise of the conversations from the room aside and the breathing of the young woman surrounding her.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the startled voice of the female stranger reached her. "I'm Millerna Sarah Aston but I don't assume that Van told you anything about me, right?"
Hitomi slowly shook her head, a feeling of pure unease crawling through her. She didn't like being thrown into cold water and something told her that she was just about to get soaked.
"I'm his sister," Millerna finally revealed and a wave of surprise and relief washed through Hitomi, though she could not explain the latter. What had she expected her to say? "Well, not his real, blood-related sister but adoptive. Van is my adopted brother."
"Oh," was everything she was able to reply, even more questions joining the ones that were evolving already around Van, as if the man was the sun of the question mark system.
"Did he tell you anything at all?" the violet-eyed woman asked carefully and studied Hitomi's features with her head curiously cocked to the side like a parrot, waiting for a reaction.
"No, he didn't," she replied courtly, face expressionless. "But I also didn't ask."
"Well, you should," was all Millerna said, before turning around and rummaging noisily through the notes on the desk, leaving Hitomi to herself.
And once again, she noticed that she actually knew nothing about him; just as he had said. She didn't knew the man who lived here. She was in the room of a stranger. But was she here to change that? Was she here to make him more than a stranger? Did she want him to be more than that?
"Well then, allow me one question," Millerna spoke up after she had found what she had been searching, the desk now looking as if someone had emptied a trash-can on it. Completely ignoring the waves of serious chaos she emitted, Millerna turned her hair skillfully in a bun and tamed it with a thin, rose-coloured ribbon, a few curls escaping though. "Why are you here at all?"
"Call me crazy," Hitomi sighed and a small smile stole across her lips, sunshine warming her cream-coloured cheeks and dancing over the door behind her. "But I really don't know why I'm doing all this."
The corners of Millerna's full lips turned slowly upwards, revealing her pearly-white teeth. "These were exactly his words," she stated and crossed her slim arms in front of her chest, hugging herself tightly. "He's talking a lot about you, you know?!"
"No, I don't," the blind woman replied in a whisper, a red hue tinting her cheeks.
"Now, you know," Millerna countered with a smirk and a mischievous sparkle in her rare lilac orbs, plopping down onto a lonely easy chair that was hidden under a heap of clothes. "You're occupying his mind like nothing else before. He's even begun to mislay his psychology notes!" She gave a light laugh. "I have to thank you for the most hilarious sight ever! I swear I never..."
The young woman trailed off when the muffled clinking of keys announced someone's arrival. Millerna straightened in her seat, arms linked behind her head and her brows raised in anticipation. Hitomi held her breath, her heart hammering in her ribcage, knowing exactly who was behind that oak door fighting with the keys that had decided it was a good moment to get tangled up with each other.
After a more than angry grunt, the lock finally klicked softly and the door swung open, a cloud of kitchen scents swepping into the room. A frown adorned his handsome features, making him look like an annoyed, little boy, auburn eyes glaring down at the keys. He ran a tanned hand through his pitch-black hair, dishevelling it even more, before he finally looked up – and froze.
She was standing in his room like a vision of heaven, her face hidden in soft shadows and her fragile form outlined by sunlight, making it seem as if she was radiating it. He felt goosebumps crawl up his arms by just looking at her. Like an angel descended from the skies.
"Hitomi," he breathed.
I've never seen and there's never been
Anything with the beauty of you
#--#
Thanks to:
Niffer: Hey there yourself!!! I'm so glad you liked it again and that it was correct!!! I feel like grinning here!! Thanks a ton!!
Kya77: Lol, so there you go! Hope you could find out some more :P Thanks!!!
Spirit0: grins Of course, all thanks to your bowing!!! :P Lol, you have it with the 'more intense rainbow', ne?! Mwahahahahahahaha!!!! I hope the chapter could satisfy curious little you a bit. And congrats on your blue mug...bwahaha...I laughed so hard there!!! Thanks again!!
Sailor Hope: blushs like mad Wow, all I can say is Thank You!!!!!
snow blossoms: Lol, so you liked it though she stood him up grins And nah, I didn't mean that Van hurt her, just that he...well, is about to change some things in her life. But hah, thanks for pointing out that mistake...it's just...must it be "Hitomi's decisions's" or "Hitomi's decision's" or what? scratchs head in confusion I didn't get that...forgive me, I'm blond sobs And hey, you know the song "Ich kenne nichts"!!!!!! So cool!!!! I love it!!! Hehe, thanks again!!!!
fireangel1621: LOL!!! Thank you!!
SabrinaYutsuki: bows to the floor Thank you very much!!
Sahira: blushs Thank you!!
Avaris Sky: Lol, life is unfair, isn't it?! :P
kawaii neko: Lol, all you have to do is read on grins hard Thanks!!
SabineballZ: Hey, wir reden hier von Hitomi!! Ich würd' sagen, nichts ist unmöglich!!! Und guck, ich hab' alle deine zwei Fragen beantwortet :P Ich bin gut!! Mwahahahahaha!!!! Danke!!
blonde-hitomi: Lol, glad you liked it!!! I also think that there is a little paragraph somewhere that does forbid to send living beings :P Though I wouldn't mind getting a package like him!!! Mwahahahahahaha!!! Thankiez!!
blubb: Mwahahahahaha, freut mich, dass es dir gefallen hat!!! Danke und 'Tschuldigung nochmal, dass ich so lange nicht geschrieben hab hoil
Sereneblaze: Thank you and I hope your questions concerning other Esca characters is answered :P
saphir kitsune youkai girl: Lol, no, I'm definitely not blind but thank you very much!!! grins
Sarcastic Angel: Hehe, thank you!!!
DesolateAznVamp: Lol, you'll see!! Thanks!!
dawnsama: Aye, thank you!!!
raigne: Thanks!!
ash3: Mwahahahaha, me too!!! Thankiez!!
dreamingofflyingaway: blushs like mad Thank you!!!!!!!!!!
Esca-lover: Hey there!!!! Glad you found my lil story and like it!! Hah, I know that Van's got quite some stalker-ish air around him but I'll try to clear that a bit in a later chapter. And hey, I don't know what you thought I meant with the line but I definitely did not mean it to sound like that (...did that sentence here make any sense at all???)!!! But thanks for pointing it out!!! And lol, I'd like to stand in line for a rainbow as well sighs Thank you!!! P.S. I'm sooooooooo happy you updated again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jaguar-kally7: Lol, how would a rainbow feel like but that?? :P Thanks!!
angelwings1: blushs Thankiez!!!!
Akari Kou: Yup, I'm native speaker :P Und es macht mir nichts aus, wenn du nicht in Englisch schreibst, lol. Freut mich, dass es dir so gut gefällt und es wird noch recht tief werden, keine Angst!! Vielen Dank!!!!!!!!!!
Lil-Sun-Rie: blushs Thank you!! And hah, it was a good beginning then; I got you hooked!!! Mwahahahaha!!!!
iwakura.lain: Thanks!!
f-zelda: Lol, don't worry, I didn't forget about his past. It'll soon be all revealed!! Thanks!!
A/N: Hey there, I'm back!!! I know that there didn't happen anything at all in this chapter but I had to prepare a bit!!
And I wanted to say goodbye to someone. This is a goodbye to Ryuu Angel who's leaving ff.net as a writer: Hey there, my pirate!! Just wanted to tell you that I understand your reasons and I'm glad you stay to read and review (if you have the time that is :P). You did grow up a lot within this one year that I had the rainbowish pleasure to know you!! But I don't know if ff.net was all that good for you coz you'll probably never get rid of me ever again!!!!!!!!! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Let's hope so!! grins that her skull splits May you find what you're searching for!!!
Well then, til next chapter!!
Dariel
#But it makes me believe in life again#
There are days where I can't stop talking about you
There are days I can't stop saying your name
And I'm looking for ways never to part from you
Everything changes and you still stay the same
The clinking of dishes and the noise of fat sizzling in polished pans filled the air that was impregnated with the scents of lunch and various spices. The swinging double doors at the far end of the room were opened every now and then when a waiter appeared to get an ordered meal, the sound of conversations softly swepping in.
A young man was standing in front of one of the innumerable stoves, his tall form bent over a silver pot that was filled with an exotic smelling sauce. He was tasting his creation with a suspiciously raised brow while panning fried vegetables with his left hand skillfully as if he had never done anything else in his entire life, his attentive, auburn eyes already scanning the place for the salt. This time, there were no unruly strands blocking his view for a small ribbon was obstinately taming his mop of raven-black hair at the back of his head and a white cap kept his forehead free from escaped streaks, only a few ones sticking out at the sides.
With a swift motion, he lifted the pan off of the stove and emptied it on a white plate where rice had already been arranged together with a deliciously smelling fish. After quickly adding the sauce, he grabbed the plate together with another one that was already done and put them onto a counter, placing a sign with a black 26 on it beside them.
The shadow of a smile crossed his features when he saw out of the corners of his eyes the figure that was standing right behind the counter, a figure that definitely didn't belong into the kitchen of the Escaflowne.
"You were supposed to call me," the young woman in the yellow summer dress stated angrily and tapped a flip flopped foot on the tiled ground, her shining, pink hair held back in pigtails.
"I was?" Van replied nonchalantly without even looking up, reaching for a bunch of carrots to his right and began to cut them with quick and fluent movements.
"Yes, Van!" Merle countered vividly, glaring at him with iced blue eyes and her delicate brows knitted. "What is it with you? I asked you to call me right after the date and you agreed!"
"You pestered me until I agreed, correct," the young man said dryly and wiped his forehead at the sleeve of his black shirt, before putting the carrots in a pot with boiling water. "And?"
"And?" she echoed in disbelief, the scowl on her features telling him that she would strangle him without hesitation if he just wasn't holding a knife with a sparkling blade in his hand that second. "You didn't call me! I wanted to know everything! Every little detail!"
"Why calling when there was no need to?" Van replied with a shrug and turned away, heading to the huge, silver fridge to get a bowl with seafood.
"Would you, please, stop talking in riddles!" the blue-eyed girl furiously blurted out, fed up with his mascarade of indifference. Almost unconsciously, she stepped out of the way of the waiter who had just entered but was too busy with thinking of an appropriate way to unman Van later that she didn't even notice the flirtatious grin the curly-haired man gave her. "I'm not in the mood, now, to decipher these cryptic words of yours!"
"And you came all the way here from Pallas to tell me this," he stated, eyes narrowed in search for the bowl, and Merle felt like screaming because of his unimpressed tone. He stood with his broad back to her so she couldn't see his face, couldn't see his eyes, couldn't tell if he was trying to distract her from something else.
She took a deep breath before replying. "Yes, I came all the way here by bus, just to inform you, to kick your butt," she said with a calm but strained voice, hardly able to control her temper. "I thought you had dropped this lone-wolf-attitude where your goal in life was to scare everybody away with being a total ass. I thought you had opened up. Okay, you and me being a couple didn't work and I know that it will never work but, at least, I thought you were my friend. I thought you trusted me. I -- "
Turning around, the raven-haired man raised his head and gave her a look that made her immediately close her mouth, the fire in his boundless orbs able to boil water at that very moment. "She stood me up," he finally told Merle with a matter-of-fact voice and directed his eyes back down to the seafood, dissolving the numbness he had pulled her into.
"She what?" the young woman questioned quietly and stared at Van who was just drying his tanned hands at the once white apron around his waist that showed the menu of the day quite clearly. "But why? Did she tell you why?"
"I probably scared her," Van replied with a smile that did not reach his eyes and dropped his hands. "Gods, I feel like a damn stalker! And even when I didn't scare her already with asking her for a date, I scared her away a hundred percent with this last, more than insane idea of mine."
Merle frowned even more at the boyish grin that rushed across his lips by then like a shooting star across the night sky and was just about to open her mouth when he looked up, facing her. "Obviously, I can't get rid of this old habit," he said and shook his head, before asking with the most desperate expression on his face she had ever seen, "Did I screw it, Merle?"
"Oh, Van," was all the young woman could reply, her features softening instantly, and he shook his head again.
What did she do to him? What did she do to make him turn into a lovesick fool? He just didn't know and he found himself at a point where he was willing to do everything just to see her again, to be near her again. Only it seemed that everything wasn't enough or maybe everything was too much. He simply didn't know what to do for no matter what he did, it seemed to be always wrong.
What did she do to bring him down to his knees?
"Hey, Van," Merle's soft voice reached him in his reverie and he tried to blink the confusing thoughts from his mind. She gave him a warm and patient smile and pointed at something beside him. "Your bouillabaisse is boiling over."
Looking down, his eyes widened by the sight of seashells dancing in white foam and he swore that even Merle covered her ears, a look of pure disapproval on her face. Reaching for a dishtowel beside him, he pulled the pot away from the stove that was now soaked with fish soup.
"Seems as if I can't do anything right," he muttered and wiped the liquid off of the stove, dark brows knitted in annoyance.
"When did you turn in such a crybaby?" Merle questioned frankly with her arms crossed in front of her chest, only to have him shoot an angry glare at her. "When did you stop to fight? You know, it would be quite more effective if you just stopped complaining and did something against this miserable situation of yours!"
"Oh really?" Van replied harshly and collected seashells and pieces of carrots which had been lifted out of the pot by the violantly boiling water, throwing them across the room into a huge trash can. "And, Dr. Shrink, what is it I could do?"
"You could treat me a coffee," she stated matter-of-factly and glanced at him like a cat would watch a mouse she pretended not to see. "And you could tell me what stupid thing you exactly did to scare her away for I think that I missed quite a lot there...when is your shift over?"
Van graced her with a look that should proabably ask her if she was kidding and tell her that she better left him alone – unfortunately, Merle was deaf concerning this kind of conversation. She had always been.
She had never cared about him wanting to be alone but had rather plopped down beside him, giving him no chance at all to get lost in his thoughts. Everything was her doing; their friendship as well as their relationship. She had always been the one to take the first step and he didn't regret that he hadn't stepped backwards but remained still, waiting for her approach. He knew that his life would have been a whole lot different without the pink-haired whirlwind, a whole lot calmer and way less spontanuous.
He sighed in surrender when he saw her tap her foot impatiently on the ground (what he had learned was a very bad sign) and looked at the wall clock above the doors that led into the restaurant.
"Half an hour ago," he answered with a sigh and scratched the back of his head. "My shift ended half an hour ago. Dilandau's late like usual. Maybe there was a fire to lit somewhere."
Merle raised a questioning eyebrow at him, obviously confused. "Don't you mean a fire to extinguish?" she asked and Van grinned lazily.
"Oh no, I meant exactly what I said," he drawled and Merle raised her second brow as well, looking like the epitome of a question mark. "Believe me, within this last year I spent with him in one dorm room plus these added weeks here in the restaurant, I learned more about the guy than was healthy for me. I still don't know why the little pyro had been employed here for I think it was a really careless thing to do."
And as if on cue, the high noise of glass and porcelain shattering to pieces suddenly echoed within the kitchen, followed by a string of curses. Curious, Van stepped around his stove and glanced along the hallway, groaning in exasperation when he found mentioned roommate standing in the doorway with his hands raised in defence and the curly-haired waiter from before kneeling in a heap of broken crockery crowned with potatoes and vegetables, glaring daggers at the albino.
His tall and lanky form was clad in black, emphazising his gene-defect- determined paleness to an unhealthy amount, his red eyes glowing like the breaklights of a car at night. The man was a walking contrast and he still wondered why people cleared a path for him wherever he appeared.
Dilandau stepped carefully over a steak with a truly offended expression on his features and making his way towards Van, a huge grin spread across his face by spotting the dark-haired man.
"Good mornin', Van-man," he greeted cheerfully and slapped Van on the shoulder, winking at Merle and completely ignoring the lethal expression in Van's seething auburn eyes.
"Good afternoon, idiot," the young man barked in reply, not even trying to restrain himself.
"What is it with you guys, today?" Dilandau countered in confusion, taking a step backwards, and ran a hand through his chin-long, silvery white hair that was held back by a yellow headband. The man had no sense of colours as well. "Did I miss the announcement of the Day-to-insult-Dilandau or what? Go live up your frustration somewhere else coz I've got feelings, too, you know?!"
Van barked a laugh. "You keep telling that yourself," he mocked and began to untie the apron from around his waist. "Maybe you should have thought about that before oversleeping. Your shift began thirty minutes ago."
"Damn, you serious?" Dilandau asked, shocked, and his red eyes darted around in search for the choleric chef who would probably chop off his head if he got to know about Dilandau's lateness, yet again. "You could have called me, man!"
"I'm not your mother, Albatou," Van growled in reply with narrowed eyes and took off his cap, pitch-black strands immediately tumbling into his face as if they had been waiting for it the whole time.
Dilandau raised his pale brows in mock innocence. "You're not?" he questioned with faked confusion, almost invisible brows raised, and cackled when he was rewarded with Van's cap and apron being chucked at his head.
Whistling to himself, the albino made himself feel at home in the kitchen, Van leaving for the door while shaking his head.
"Wait, it is way past two and he just awoke?" Merle asked beside him and glanced back at Dilandau who was playing with a lighter while waiting for the water to boil. "What is he doing at night?"
"There are a few things, I can die happy without ever getting to know them," Van began slowly and reached up to loosen the ribbon that had tamed his stubborn hair, placing it back in the usual state of disorder with one hand. "And Dilandau's nightly activities are definitely on the top of the list."
Without wasting a second thought, Merle quickly caught his wrist before he could exit the room and made him stop, the young man stiffening instantly. "Did you already tell her?" she asked quietly, watching Van's stony expression with narrowed blue eyes.
"She didn't ask yet," he replied flatly, staring down at where she touched him and made an attempt to continue his way out of the kitchen.
"Would you have told her if she had asked?" Merle questioned, still not letting go of his arm but rather tightening her vice-like grip, forcing him to a halt again.
Van didn't reply. He only raised his gaze, ever so slowly, and Merle had to face bottomless pools of a rare reddish-brown, like chestnuts in the light of the setting sun, making her aware once more of why she had fallen so hard for him. Only this time, there was nothing in his eyes but something she had only seen once; at the day when they had broken up – self-disdain.
#--#
She sat quietly on the swing that stood calmly in a corner of their porch, a light breeze dishevelling her short, wheat-coloured tresses. It carried the faint scent of lillies and coffee from the garden of their neighbours, soft conversations hovering in the air together with the warmth of the day.
Her hands were folded in her lap and her blind green eyes were focused on the spot where she heard her mother work at the flower borders, a bark of a dog or the laughter of children breaking the silence every now and then. The swing was squeaking quietly while moving slightly back and forth, just as if the wind was pushing it.
"Well?" an all too familiar voice stated beside her, making her blink, and Yukari didn't even try to not sound annoyed and impatient.
"What's the matter, Yukari?" Hitomi asked slowly and brushed a dancing strand of hair out of her face that was tickling over her skin.
The redhead snorted and crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking like a pouting child. "I'm still waiting for you to admit that you made a mistake," she explained casually and watched her friend with narrowed eyes, searching for a reaction, any reaction.
"Why do you think I would do that?" Hitomi replied and directed her gaze to the ground, green orbs hiding behind swung lashes and her fingers playing absently with the hem of her shirt.
"Why else should you have asked me to come over?" Yukari countered, her brown eyes never leaving Hitomi's form that was covered with the softly moving shadows of the sunlit foliage that was spanned above them, sunlight twinkling between the rustling leaves. "Except there was something else I should know..."
It was silent after Yukari had trailed off, the redhead pushing the swing gently with one bare foot that rested on the warm boards of the porch. She knew that there was no use in pressing Hitomi for the green-eyed woman would simply shut her out. It was one of the things Yukari had slowly learned over the years; either Hitomi decided to tell her or she decided not to tell her.
But this time, there was something around her that told Yukari that the sandy-blonde didn't want to tell but wanted her to find out. Yukari knew that Hitomi was about to burst inwardly, her restless fingers just one of the signs, but though rigid to simply tell it.
"Well," Yukari tried again, her shoulder-long tresses sparkling in the sunlight and an amused smile playing across her lips.
Cocking her head to the sight, she watched Hitomi turn and hesitantly face her, her gaze however resting on everything but the redhead. The young woman was mildly surprised when her green-eyed friend produced a thick book from beside her, placing it in front of Yukari and turning away again, making her friend raise her delicate brows.
"A braille book," she stated and frowned at Hitomi before carefully stretching out her hand, running over the bumps on the cover with her fingertips. "A dictionary? Hitomi, what...?"
"He gave it to me," she stated quietly, staring out into nothing, and Yukari's eyes widened. "Two days ago, he dispatched himself by UPS and gave it to me."
"He did what?" Yukari asked in disbelief and amusement, not knowing if her friend was joking or not, and glanced back down at the book when Hitomi made no move to reply.
The thin pages seemed empty if one looked from afar but revealed an irregular pattern of dots by giving them a closer look. It was a fascinating language of its own and Yukari had early started to learn it, finding great joy in deciphering the dots. A smile stole across her lips when she remembered that Hitomi hadn't been so happy about teaching her for Yukari could be worse than a furious and stomping, little girl in the center of a mall when something didn't go the way she wanted to.
Raising her gaze briefly, she caught a glimpse of the six-year-old Hitomi who had sat alone in the shadows of an old oak tree, with strands of honey- blond hair dancing in the sunlight, her small fingers curiously inspecting a leaf. By that time, Yukari hadn't known how much the unconspicuous girl would influence and change her life, how much she would teach her. She hadn't known what kind of effect the decision to keep the lonely girl company would have on her. But that was something Hitomi was completely oblivious to; she didn't know the extend of the impact she could have on people's life – an impact Yukari would always be grateful for.
The pages were rustling through her fingers and she looked down just in time to spot something that actually didn't belong there, stopping right before the cover swung shut with her brows raised. Her fingers grazed over the first page where a few words were written in black ink and a surprisingly neat and expressive handwriting, the letters long and slightly tilted like trees in a storm.
"There is something written," she stated quietly and Hitomi's heart involuntarily skipped a beat, the young woman though remaining as motionless as if she were made of stone. Yukari however took it as an approval to continue; she could read Hitomi even if she was a statue. And yet the redhead knew that she was just someone who pretended to be a statue, the masquerade busted if one took the time to stop and give her a closer look. After all, even Hitomi needed to breathe.
"You only get to know the weight of a word when you keep it," the redhead read softly and the words were like a leaf in the wind, dancing around Hitomi and repeating themselves in her mind.
She took a shuddering breath and clutched the wood of the swing tightly, before she spoke. "Do you think I made a mistake?" she whispered, reluctantly uttering what she had been trying so hard to deny.
She had denied that Yukari had been right, with everything she had said. Right about her hypocrisy and continuous search for excuses, right about him. And Hitomi had put so much effort in lying to herself that she was now completely exhausted, drained and tired. And afraid.
Afraid because admitting the denial towards Yukari meant that she had been denying a lot more. It meant that she had denied that everything had affected her more than she wanted it to. Denied that there was something happening to her when she was near him, denied that he could actually mean something to her. And it scared her beyond herself.
Yukari leaned back against the backrest and looked out into the garden of the Kanzaki's, moving the swing softly with her feet and watching Hitomi's mother chat with a neighbor. "It's not important what I think, Hitomi," she replied quietly, slowly closing the book that lay beside her. "What do you think?"
"I don't know," she answered, still refusing to face her friend who rolled her brown eyes in exasperation.
"You're the most undecided person I know!" the redhead exclaimed and ran a desperate hand through her shoulder-long hair. "I mean you're managing your life way better than me but when it comes to certain situations you're hopelessly hesitant! You've got all possibilities given but you don't know what you want and that's the main problem here. You don't know if you should study to become a teacher for blind people or not though you'd make it a hundred per cent, you don't know if you should move out or not though you'd definitely manage it, you don't know if you should give Van a chance or not though..."
"He kissed me."
At once, the swinging stopped.
"Excuse me but I think I just hallucinated," Yukari muttered and rubbed her ears, ever so slowly turning to face Hitomi whose lips twitched briefly. "I thought you said that he had kissed you."
"He gave me the book, kissed me and left," Hitomi replied and leaned against the backrest as well, covering her face with her hands. She could feel her cheeks heat up by just thinking of it. "Now, oh Goddess of Advices, what am I supposed to do?"
"Well, is he a good kisser?" the redhead questioned bluntly with a smirk on her features and Hitomi sank even farther into the swing, groaning by feeling her cheeks burn against her palms.
"You're not of great help," she mumbled and her friend grinned even wider.
"It's quite a surprise and I don't know how I can help you at all," Yukari stated with a sigh and smiled wistfully. "At first, you have to clarify for yourself what you want. I know that you don't like to make decisions but you will have to, that's for sure. You can't keep up this lukewarm behavior for he won't be waiting forever."
"How do I know what I want?" Hitomi questioned, the words muffled for she was still burying her face in her hands.
Yukari gave a laugh and shook her head in amusement, red strands swaying gently. "Don't ask me," she answered and glanced at the young woman beside her. "That you have to find out for yourself. But say, did it affect you in any way?"
She was quiet, slowly breathing in and out, the voice of her enthusiastically chatting mother and the rustling of the leaves above sounding as if coming from far away. It was when Yukari's chuckling broke the silence.
"No wait, it did affect you or we wouldn't be here having this conversation," she exclaimed expertly, leaning close to Hitomi in order to whisper in her ear. "What did you feel?"
The regularly rising and falling of the green-eyed woman's chest stopped and her heart beat so loud that it drowned all the other noises around her. What had she been feeling?
She had felt something that was beyond words, beyond description, beyond explaining. Van. He had been everywhere around her; in the gentle touch of his lips, in the warmth he had wrapped her in, in the pleasant scent of sunkissed fields that had surrounded him, in the tender caress of the wind and the soft whisper of lush leaves. He had been the air she had breathed in, that very moment.
"When I sit back and just listen, he's there, on my mind," Hitomi whispered instead of answering, closing her blind eyes and Yukari stretched out her hand to touch her friend's forearm. "But I'm afraid that he'll hurt me as well, 'Kari."
"I absolutely understand that but it's something nobody can guarantee you, Hitomi," the redhead replied quietly, with a small smile on her lips. "Neither me nor Van himself. It's up to you to decide if it's worth it to take the risk or not. It's like sky-diving."
"What do you say should I do?" the young woman questioned and tilted her head slightly to the side, facing Yukari.
"I can't decide that for you," she stated simply and Hitomi sighed, running a hand through her short hair.
"What would you do?" she asked and earned a smile, Yukari tightening the hold on her forearm.
"I'd close my eyes and just jump."
Dropping her hands, Hitomi directed her gaze up at the wooden roof that spanned half of the porch. "I don't have my parachute here," she said and a grin spread over Yukari's face that threatened to split her skull.
#--#
Rays of sunlight fell through the high windows that hemmed the hallways of the dormitory which belonged to Isaac-Dornkirk-University, situated at the far end of the campus. The building was of the same architectural style as was the university itself, looking like an old palace and reminding of the institute's long history, the unique blue roof sparkling like the sea at a cloudless day.
The old stones radiated a pleasant coolness, the vibrating heat of the day locked out by massive oak doors. The dormitory was almost empty for most of the students were enjoying the summer break somewhere else but there, the only noise that of footsteps echoing along the hallway.
"If I'm not completely mistaken," a red-haired woman stated and turned the small map she was holding upside down, cocking her head to the side. "I think it's up this stairway."
Hitomi leaned on her stick and raised a delicate eyebrow at her friend, pushing her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose. "I don't know if you already forgot but these were exactly the words you said when we were standing at the bottom of the last two stairways," she replied dryly and Yukari just shrugged.
"I know," she huffed and folded the map, only to wave it in front of Hitomi's face. "But assuming that I read the map right and only held it wrong these last two times, we have to be right this time."
"Logic isn't yours, is it, 'Kari?!" Hitomi said matter-of-factly and slowly straightened, groping with her stick skillfully for the first step.
"Why no," she exclaimed in response and Hitomi shook her head in resignation at the pride that sounded with the words, the redhead sprinting past her up the stairs. "Come on, sleepyhead! When you slow down only a bit more, you're walking backwards!"
Smiling softly to herself, the young woman continued her way up the slightly winding stairway, her friend's enthusiasm somehow not jumping to her. She felt more like turning around, heading back down those damn stairs and straight out of the building, felt like running across the campus and the city only to be far far away from this university; far away from him.
She didn't know what had gotten into her in the first place. Why was she here at all? Why was she combing this dormitory as if her life depended on it? Why was she about to make a complete fool out of herself? Yukari had put something in her drink, that was for sure. That was the only explanation she could find – and if she kept telling it to herself, she would maybe actually believe it.
"Looks good," Yukari declared with a satisfied smirk when Hitomi reached the top of the stairs, a light-flooded hallway lying directly ahead.
Various doors were hemming it, quiet music and muffled conversations penetrating the first one on the right. Hitomi took a few careful steps ahead and when Yukari made no move to stop her but rather joined her side, quietly humming to herself, she continued her way down the hallway.
"Which one is it?" she asked quietly, gaze directed to the ground and the redhead watching her out of the corners of her eyes with her hands linked behind her head.
"Three meters and then, turn left," she replied and Hitomi nodded slowly, coming to a halt right in front of the dark-brown door with a golden 24 attached to it, the precious metal already tarnishing at the edges.
She inhaled deeply, trying desperately to ignore the furious beating of her amok-running heart and once again wondered why for heaven's sake she was doing that! "Yukari, I --" she began, twisting her stick as if the world would crumble if she stopped doing it, but the readhead quickly interupted.
"No, it was a good idea, Hitomi," she assured with a sigh of exhaustion, knowing exactly what her green-eyed friend had wanted to say. "Stop complaining and just knock, he won't bite off your head. But just in case, I'll be waiting outside...that was my good deed of the day for you. The rest of the world is still waiting."
Hitomi's green eyes widened behind the sunglasses. "Wait, Yukari, you can't possibly --" the young woman interupted but the redhead only smirked, brown eyes dancing with girlish mischief.
"You can't expect me to wait here and watch when you get all intimate with him," she stated with a casual shrug and put a hand over Hitomi's mouth before she could screech in protest, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do as well."
With that said and a last warm smile, Yukari turned around and left Hitomi alone in front of the door, staring motionlessly at the old wood with her cheeks glowing red.
A heavy silence was surrounding her after Yukari's footsteps had faded into the distance, even the music that had hovered in the hallway gone. Now, she was only one knock away from him. Only one knock and he would be there, chasing her heart into her throat and all coherent thoughts from her mind with his mere presence. One knock and she would forget everything she had wanted to say.
Knock and run, Hitomi!, a voice in her head shouted and she groaned. What was she? Thirteen years old?
She couldn't count how many times she had been asking herself if that all was for real. Why would someone do things like these? Why for her? There were thousands of other women living in this city, millions of other women in this country, billions of them on this planet! Women who were a lot more beautiful than her and he just happened to be after her? How unreal was that?
But when had she actually begun to care?
When had she begun to be interested in him? When had she begun to search the questions that would lead her to the answers of the mysteries he seemed to arise wherever he appeared? She couldn't tell. She simply couldn't tell what he had done to once again kindle the flame of hope inside her though she had thought it had been completely extinguished, drowned in a flood of tears.
But oh, how foolish to believe in everlasting love. How foolish to believe people wouldn't change. How foolish to assume that just because she loved from the bottom of her heart and with the very essence of her soul, he would do the same. Yes, how foolish she had been. Everybody had told her that love could make one grow wings but nobody had warned her how damn much it would hurt to have them ripped out in flight, nothing left to break the fall.
And yet, there she was, with her head tilted backwards so to face the sky, not knowing what she was waiting for.
Hitomi sighed and looked up, her blind gaze focused on the door. Maybe he wasn't there.
She stopped with her hand half raised and hesitated, not continuing in order to knock but to slowly, so very slowly, take off the sunglasses that had been hiding her emerald eyes. Taking a deep breath, she ran a hand through her short hair and let them slip into the pocket of her beige capri- pants, eyes never leaving the door.
The knock echoed down the empty and silent hallway and was only drowned by the roaring of blood in her ears, her other hand holding the stick tightly.
Well, she could still turn around and leave, the thirteen-year-old girl inside her would dance a jig. She could still leave and pretend it never happened, pretend she never came here for him, pretend that he hadn't been on her mind for these last days.
She was just about to take a step backwards when the door swung open, the hinges squeaking quietly in protest, and her breath caught in her throat.
The scent of lilac was immediately filling her nostrils. "Yes?"
What a strange feeling when your heart suddenly starts beating again.
Hitomi blinked and let go the breath she had been holding, tilting her head slightly to the side with a frown on her features. That wasn't the voice she had been expecting to hear. She should just quit trusting Yukari concerning matters of navigation. But who cared about directions anyway?
"I'm sorry, I made a mistake about the room," Hitomi apologized with her eyes directed to the ground, avoiding to look up at the stranger in front of her.
"No, wait," the young woman in the doorway replied, stopping Hitomi's attempt to leave and ran a hand through her sparkling, blond tresses that curled all the way down to her shoulderblades and reflected the sunlight that fell through a window behind her. Her eyes were watching Hitomi with open curiosity, sparkling, pure amethysts framed by long and darkened lashes. "Do you want to speak with Dilandau maybe?"
And as if on command, her heart skipped a beat again like a horse that suddenly jumped into gallop, remembering his words in the car. "No, actually I wanted to speak with his roommate, Van," she countered quietly in order to hide the shaking of her voice. "Is he in there?"
"Van?!" the blonde woman echoed in mild surprise and Hitomi could hear her eyebrows rise, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Now, that's a surprise. Who are you?"
"My name is Hitomi but --" she began to explain, though not coming to finish.
"Ah, so you are the one who turned him in a puberting school-boy," the violet-eyed woman stated, with amusement swinging in her melodic voice and a wide smirk adorning her soft features. "I'm glad to finally get to know you."
Her tone was that of someone who knew too much, way too much. "Listen," Hitomi spoke up again and rose her hands. "I don't know what you mean and I think it probably --"
"Of course, you don't," she interfered again, still smiling broadly, and Hitomi sighed in surrender. "But maybe you come in first. Van's late. He should have been here quite some time ago but I think he'll be back within the next minutes."
"I don't know," Hitomi murmured and twisted her stick between her fingers but the young woman in the doorframe just shook her beautiful head, uncompromisingly grabbing Hitomi's slim wrists and dragging her in.
At once, a wave of new scents flooded her and she stopped right behind the door, not daring to take a step ahead. It smelled like fresh-washed clothes and wet earth, a light trace of something burnt among it.
After quietly shutting the door, the young woman passed her by in a cloud of lilac and began to collect the various magazines she had been successfully scattering all across the bed of the two ones in the room that was made and in a radius of two meters around it.
"Forgive me the mess," she said when picking up a bag with potato chips, unfortunately lifting it at the wrong end and spilling the content noisily across the comforter and parquet floor. She sighed and ruffled her long hair in a desperate fashion. "Van is usually a really tidy person but I leave a path of disorder wherever I go, I just can't help."
"Well, actually," Hitomi replied with a smile and held up her stick, with a provokingly raised brow. "I don't care."
"Right," the young woman grinned and placed the pile of magazines on the desk beside the bed that was covered with notes and opened books. "But, please, take a seat or something so that I don't feel like the most terrible host on this planet anymore."
"I'd rather stand, thank you," she stated quietly, blind green eyes focused on the ground and ears pricked.
The blond-haired woman nodded briefly and absently brushed some potato chips crumbs off of her white spaghetti strapped top while intently watching her guest.
Hitomi was bathed in sunlight that fell through the only window in the room, painting a golden shimmering aura around her, reflections dancing across her hair as if it was made of water. Her eyes the colour of the first leaves in spring were darting nervously over the ground and her slim fingers were twisting the stick, rosy lips slightly parted. Right then, she looked as fragile as a crystal swan with her head bend down, honey-blond tresses brushing over her pale cheeks.
"And you are?" she suddenly broke the silence, feeling more and more misplaced with only the noise of the conversations from the room aside and the breathing of the young woman surrounding her.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the startled voice of the female stranger reached her. "I'm Millerna Sarah Aston but I don't assume that Van told you anything about me, right?"
Hitomi slowly shook her head, a feeling of pure unease crawling through her. She didn't like being thrown into cold water and something told her that she was just about to get soaked.
"I'm his sister," Millerna finally revealed and a wave of surprise and relief washed through Hitomi, though she could not explain the latter. What had she expected her to say? "Well, not his real, blood-related sister but adoptive. Van is my adopted brother."
"Oh," was everything she was able to reply, even more questions joining the ones that were evolving already around Van, as if the man was the sun of the question mark system.
"Did he tell you anything at all?" the violet-eyed woman asked carefully and studied Hitomi's features with her head curiously cocked to the side like a parrot, waiting for a reaction.
"No, he didn't," she replied courtly, face expressionless. "But I also didn't ask."
"Well, you should," was all Millerna said, before turning around and rummaging noisily through the notes on the desk, leaving Hitomi to herself.
And once again, she noticed that she actually knew nothing about him; just as he had said. She didn't knew the man who lived here. She was in the room of a stranger. But was she here to change that? Was she here to make him more than a stranger? Did she want him to be more than that?
"Well then, allow me one question," Millerna spoke up after she had found what she had been searching, the desk now looking as if someone had emptied a trash-can on it. Completely ignoring the waves of serious chaos she emitted, Millerna turned her hair skillfully in a bun and tamed it with a thin, rose-coloured ribbon, a few curls escaping though. "Why are you here at all?"
"Call me crazy," Hitomi sighed and a small smile stole across her lips, sunshine warming her cream-coloured cheeks and dancing over the door behind her. "But I really don't know why I'm doing all this."
The corners of Millerna's full lips turned slowly upwards, revealing her pearly-white teeth. "These were exactly his words," she stated and crossed her slim arms in front of her chest, hugging herself tightly. "He's talking a lot about you, you know?!"
"No, I don't," the blind woman replied in a whisper, a red hue tinting her cheeks.
"Now, you know," Millerna countered with a smirk and a mischievous sparkle in her rare lilac orbs, plopping down onto a lonely easy chair that was hidden under a heap of clothes. "You're occupying his mind like nothing else before. He's even begun to mislay his psychology notes!" She gave a light laugh. "I have to thank you for the most hilarious sight ever! I swear I never..."
The young woman trailed off when the muffled clinking of keys announced someone's arrival. Millerna straightened in her seat, arms linked behind her head and her brows raised in anticipation. Hitomi held her breath, her heart hammering in her ribcage, knowing exactly who was behind that oak door fighting with the keys that had decided it was a good moment to get tangled up with each other.
After a more than angry grunt, the lock finally klicked softly and the door swung open, a cloud of kitchen scents swepping into the room. A frown adorned his handsome features, making him look like an annoyed, little boy, auburn eyes glaring down at the keys. He ran a tanned hand through his pitch-black hair, dishevelling it even more, before he finally looked up – and froze.
She was standing in his room like a vision of heaven, her face hidden in soft shadows and her fragile form outlined by sunlight, making it seem as if she was radiating it. He felt goosebumps crawl up his arms by just looking at her. Like an angel descended from the skies.
"Hitomi," he breathed.
I've never seen and there's never been
Anything with the beauty of you
#--#
Thanks to:
Niffer: Hey there yourself!!! I'm so glad you liked it again and that it was correct!!! I feel like grinning here!! Thanks a ton!!
Kya77: Lol, so there you go! Hope you could find out some more :P Thanks!!!
Spirit0: grins Of course, all thanks to your bowing!!! :P Lol, you have it with the 'more intense rainbow', ne?! Mwahahahahahahaha!!!! I hope the chapter could satisfy curious little you a bit. And congrats on your blue mug...bwahaha...I laughed so hard there!!! Thanks again!!
Sailor Hope: blushs like mad Wow, all I can say is Thank You!!!!!
snow blossoms: Lol, so you liked it though she stood him up grins And nah, I didn't mean that Van hurt her, just that he...well, is about to change some things in her life. But hah, thanks for pointing out that mistake...it's just...must it be "Hitomi's decisions's" or "Hitomi's decision's" or what? scratchs head in confusion I didn't get that...forgive me, I'm blond sobs And hey, you know the song "Ich kenne nichts"!!!!!! So cool!!!! I love it!!! Hehe, thanks again!!!!
fireangel1621: LOL!!! Thank you!!
SabrinaYutsuki: bows to the floor Thank you very much!!
Sahira: blushs Thank you!!
Avaris Sky: Lol, life is unfair, isn't it?! :P
kawaii neko: Lol, all you have to do is read on grins hard Thanks!!
SabineballZ: Hey, wir reden hier von Hitomi!! Ich würd' sagen, nichts ist unmöglich!!! Und guck, ich hab' alle deine zwei Fragen beantwortet :P Ich bin gut!! Mwahahahahaha!!!! Danke!!
blonde-hitomi: Lol, glad you liked it!!! I also think that there is a little paragraph somewhere that does forbid to send living beings :P Though I wouldn't mind getting a package like him!!! Mwahahahahahaha!!! Thankiez!!
blubb: Mwahahahahaha, freut mich, dass es dir gefallen hat!!! Danke und 'Tschuldigung nochmal, dass ich so lange nicht geschrieben hab hoil
Sereneblaze: Thank you and I hope your questions concerning other Esca characters is answered :P
saphir kitsune youkai girl: Lol, no, I'm definitely not blind but thank you very much!!! grins
Sarcastic Angel: Hehe, thank you!!!
DesolateAznVamp: Lol, you'll see!! Thanks!!
dawnsama: Aye, thank you!!!
raigne: Thanks!!
ash3: Mwahahahaha, me too!!! Thankiez!!
dreamingofflyingaway: blushs like mad Thank you!!!!!!!!!!
Esca-lover: Hey there!!!! Glad you found my lil story and like it!! Hah, I know that Van's got quite some stalker-ish air around him but I'll try to clear that a bit in a later chapter. And hey, I don't know what you thought I meant with the line but I definitely did not mean it to sound like that (...did that sentence here make any sense at all???)!!! But thanks for pointing it out!!! And lol, I'd like to stand in line for a rainbow as well sighs Thank you!!! P.S. I'm sooooooooo happy you updated again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jaguar-kally7: Lol, how would a rainbow feel like but that?? :P Thanks!!
angelwings1: blushs Thankiez!!!!
Akari Kou: Yup, I'm native speaker :P Und es macht mir nichts aus, wenn du nicht in Englisch schreibst, lol. Freut mich, dass es dir so gut gefällt und es wird noch recht tief werden, keine Angst!! Vielen Dank!!!!!!!!!!
Lil-Sun-Rie: blushs Thank you!! And hah, it was a good beginning then; I got you hooked!!! Mwahahahaha!!!!
iwakura.lain: Thanks!!
f-zelda: Lol, don't worry, I didn't forget about his past. It'll soon be all revealed!! Thanks!!
A/N: Hey there, I'm back!!! I know that there didn't happen anything at all in this chapter but I had to prepare a bit!!
And I wanted to say goodbye to someone. This is a goodbye to Ryuu Angel who's leaving ff.net as a writer: Hey there, my pirate!! Just wanted to tell you that I understand your reasons and I'm glad you stay to read and review (if you have the time that is :P). You did grow up a lot within this one year that I had the rainbowish pleasure to know you!! But I don't know if ff.net was all that good for you coz you'll probably never get rid of me ever again!!!!!!!!! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Let's hope so!! grins that her skull splits May you find what you're searching for!!!
Well then, til next chapter!!
Dariel