Five. Silently seeking salvation
#I once stopped believing#

He was staring at her, her blind gaze focused on the ground and only their shallow breathing audible in the silence he had created with entering the dorm room. Dust danced along slim fingers of sunlight that were cutting the air, lightning up every now and then like fireflies. It only lasted for mere seconds.

"What's the matter, Van?" a bubbly voice called from behind his broad back, Merle unmistakably following in his wake. "You're blocking the door if you haven't noticed, you dork! Something not supposed to befall my innocent eyes? Let me see! Did you surprise someone doing it – oh!"

Poking her pink-haired head around Van's unmoving form, a grin spread across Merle's features that made her look like the Cheshire Cat when she spotted the two women.

"Didn't know you were that kind of guy," she drawled with a smirk and stabbed a finger in his firm chest, before shoving the young man uncompromisingly out of her way. Van blinked and slightly blushed at her words, his auburn gaze however darting back to Hitomi.

With a squeal, Merle flung her arms around Millerna, hugging the blond- haired woman until she begged for breath. "Millerna, I haven't seen you in ages!" she exclaimed joyfully and a mischievous sparkle entered her eyes. "Let's go for a walk, I know there is so much we have to tell each other!"

"Yes, so much has changed since we last saw each other, only one week ago," Millerna replied just as cheerfully and with just as much faked surprise in her voice, her violet orbs catching Van's deathly glare. She just smirked.

Merle sauntered at Hitomi's side, cocking her head to the side to watch the young woman who was still staring at the ground, obviously majoring in resembling a statue. "It was nice to meet you again, Hitomi," she smiled broadly, hands innocently linked behind her back while rocking back and forth on her heels.

"Likewise," Hitomi mumbled and Merle headed happily for the door.

"Until next time," Millerna chirped when she joined Merle, an expression on both of their faces that scared Van.

Passing him by, Merle pretended to take rose petals out of an imaginary basket and to throw them exaggeratedly around while Millerna was striding slowly behind her, in the graceful pace of a bride who was holding a flower bouquet.

There was a glint of an incoming rampage flickering in Van's eyes. He knew they were humming the wedding march in their thoughts as well as they knew that he was ripping their heads off in his ones. Oh sweet mental communication.

Millerna planted a soft kiss on his cheek, before she left, whispering into his ear, "You can thank us later." It was a pure miracle that her head hadn't already been split in half by the huge grin on her features.

Needless to say that she hurried out of the room with a shriek when his malicious hand quickly reached out for her, slamming the door shut between herself and Van's wrath.

With them both gone, an all too familiar silence filled the room once more.

"Well," Van finally spoke up, his voice quiet and soft so not to chase away the shy deer that stood in his room. She looked as about to run off without any warning and a smile spread across his face, knowing her trapped. "Frankly speaking, I didn't expect you to come here."

Well, frankly thinking, she hadn't expected herself to come there either.

"What are you doing here?" he questioned and casually leaned against the door behind him, with his arms crossed in front of his chest and the smile widening.

Good question indeed. Standing in the room of a stranger, frozen stiff and making a complete fool out of herself maybe?

Oh what, for heaven's sake, had she been thinking of? No, wait! That was the wrong question to ask for she hadn't been thinking anything at all! It was all Yukari's fault. The woman had the ability to lure her into everything with that damn psychologist's voice of hers! By the gods, she was in his room! In the room of the man who had kissed her just a few days ago, the remembrance still so fresh that it made a soft blush tint her cheeks. And she was alone with him.

She had to get out of there. She had known that it had been a mistake, by the moment the kitchen scents that had surrounded him had washed over her senses. She should have never gone there. She should have never considered meeting him again. She should have never allowed him to burn his very being into her mind. She should have simply forgotten him. Him, his voice, his laughter, his nervous antics, his lips.

She knew that if she hadn't come here, he would have never tried to contact her again. She knew that it had been his last desperate attempt. It would have been so much easier if she had just stopped thinking about him.

"Hitomi, about that --" he started again, waking her from her thoughts and she rapidly blinked her restlessly moving eyes.

"I have to go," Hitomi interupted him quickly, probably not even noticing that he had said anything at all, moving the stick she was holding so tightly already around in search for the way out.

A look of confusion crossed Van's face at her words and his brows knitted in a frown. Instinctively, he took a step to the side and blocked the door completely, watching the young woman grope her way towards him. "You can't just leave like that," he stated, not able to hide the slight trace of annoyance in his tone.

"Yes, I can," she replied just as angrily but sighed when her stick tapped against his foot, directing her gaze at the ground. "Look, I promised my mom to help her out a bit and she probably waiting right now. Plus, I promised an old friend to meet her this afternoon, so I don't have much time at all. Please, let me out."

"What did you want here?" he asked once more, completely ignoring her.

Her lips were pressed to a thin line and her knuckles stuck out white for she was grasping her stick almost desperately. She couldn't answer that question. She didn't want to answer it. She didn't even want to think about an answer. She was afraid; afraid of what her answer would reveal.

"You don't just come here and talk to Millerna only to walk out on me," Van continued, something briefly flickering in his eyes that was gone too fast to put it in words. "Did she tell you something? Is that the reason why you practically run from me?"

"No, she only told me that she was your adoptive sister, nothing more," she answered and raised her head, though averting her eyes. "And I'm not running from you!"

Liar!, a voice shouted in her head but she locked it in the farthest corner of her mind, feeling the urge to get a whole closet to block the door just to be sure.

"Then why? Why are you leaving?" the young man questioned and spread his arms in despair. "I think you know quite well that I won't step out of your way without getting an answer."

Hitomi's eyes quickly darted up to glare at his towering form. That damn arrogant man with his stupid male strength. She knew she was dirctly looking in his eyes and she knew he was grinning.

Her heart was hammering in her ribcage and she feared he could hear it in the silence of the room. She wanted nothing but to leave this room, leave him and his fresh scent that seemed to be everywhere around her.

"I don't feel comfortable here, okay? Satisfied?" she finally blurted out, her cheeks slowly heating up. And it wasn't even a lie. "This is your room and not mine. It's unfamiliar. The furnitures are different and the sounds are different. It smells different."

It smells like him.

How did that stupid voice escape its high-security prison? Hitomi hastily turned away from Van, hiding her suddenly glowing cheeks behind wheat- coloured tresses. It wasn't as if she begged for anything impossible, she just wanted to get out of this room!

"Hitomi," Van said softly and a sudden chill ran down her spine. "I don't intend to force you to anything nor do I want you to think me a stalker, though I assume I failed at the latter." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "You know, this last thing I did was actually my last attempt and I wouldn't have pestered you anymore if you hadn't done something like...well, like coming here, for example."

Hitomi bit her lip and inhaled deeply.

"If you had told me to leave you alone, I would have obeyed without any contradiction and you would have never seen me ever again," he continued quietly and she could feel him lean down, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. "But you never did. Not with any syllable."

When she breathed in, this time, it was shaky and a tiny smile tugged at the corners of Van's lips.

He was right. He was right with every word. She had never said that she didn't want him in her life, that she didn't want to meet him again, that she actually didn't want to be kissed by him. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to fight down the rising heat in her throat, avoiding to justify her behavior to herself.

"Street of the Fortunate 14," she pressed out, trying to burn a hole through the floor with her eyes, and he frowned. "It's a street in Adon. You know, this little village on the southern outskirts of Fanelia."

Van leaned back, staring at her in wonder. "What...?" he began but she quickly interupted him.

"I'll be there for the whole afternoon from three thirty on," Hitomi explained and unconsciously twisted her stick. "Let me out, now."

Van wore the expression of someone who had just been told that the world was flat, pondering if he should doubt his sanity or if he should just wait for the ceiling to crash down on him.

"What?" Hitomi barked when Van made no move to reply. "Still not satisfied? What else do you want to know? To which highschool I went? The time when I usually go to bed? My blood group maybe?"

A wide grin spread across his features when he saw the angry gleam in her eyes, and swiftly opened the door. "No, thank you," he stated and bowed deeply, still unable to wipe the smirk off of his face. "For now, I'm happy."

She could hardly stop herself from snarling at him and walked out of the room, the faint music that was hovering in the hallway surrounding her once more.

"Until I see you in the afternoon," Van's voice followed her down her way and she just quickened her steps, her lips jerking briefly upwards but she quickly fought it down. Of course, she did not reply.

And just when she had left the building and Yukari's cheerful voice was all around her again, making her think that there had to be, at least, ten redheads, just then did she notice that she hadn't said the words yet again. What was wrong with her?

I've never met someone so beautiful
From your hair follicle to your fingernail cuticle
Struck by the arrow of Cupid, this love is deep-rooted
Like someone took my heart, sampled it and looped it
To a song that's endless

#--#

Adjusting her sunglasses, Yukari Uchida stepped out of a more than full bus, after surviving a more than horrible ride, entering the sidewalks of the center of Fanelia. Who could have known how many people would fit in this stupid bus? Well, now she knew though she could have lived perfectly fine without getting to know it.

Taking a deep breath, she decided that she rather inhaled the exhaust fumes of a bus than the ones of a sweating human being. If she should ever become mayor of this city, she would equip every goddam bus with air-conditioning, that was for sure. But assuming that she was the mayor, she wouldn't need to go by bus at all. She sighed; that was what she called motivation.

She continued to fight her way through the crowds on the sidewalks, spotting her destination already above the bald head of a small man a bit in front of her. Mole Man's Second-Hand Shop. A huge grin spread across her features by looking at the nameplate that dangled over the street like the one of a smith hundreds of years ago.

Yukari stopped in front of the shop window of a small boutique, a man in a grey suit and a tiny cell phone pressed to his ear bumping into her. Wow, one had to be careful to not breathe them in, one day. The young woman smoothed out a fold in her skirt and straightened her stubborn, red hair, before flashing her reflection a toothy grin and making the clerk behind the window raise her brows.

Yukari Uchida was ready to hunt.

A tiny bell rang when she pushed open the heavy doors of the shop and she snatched a glance at the young man behind the counter, before diving into the aisles between innumerable rows of clothing. A grin had crossed his features by spotting her.

She smiled to herself and reached for a red top, only to rummage through another heap of clothing and choose a blue one with short sleeves. Glancing her bait over again, a mischievous sparkle entered her eyes and she catwalked over to the counter, gaze set on her prey.

Spotting out of the corners of her eyes the young woman who was striding determinedly towards the brown-haired man behind the counter with a pearly- white smile on her face, Yukari immediately quickened her pace, anger flashing across her features. Right before her enemy could touch the table with her perfectly manicured fingers, the redhead slammed her ware down on it. She won. She had just marked her territory.

Flashing the scowling brunette beside her a smile that said more than any spoken word could ever do, she turned back to the young man whose nameplate identified him as Amano.

"Hi," Yukari spoke up and brushed a red strand out of her face though it hadn't even bothered her at all.

"Hey," Amano replied and bit down a smile, pointing down at the tops. "These two, today? Your closet must be pretty big."

The redhead snatched the pieces of clothing away before he could grab them, flashing him another brilliant smile. Of course, she had noticed at where he had aimed. "Well, actually I wanted to ask you if I should buy this red one although I think it doesn't match the colour of my hair but it has such a nice neckline. Or should I better buy this one because it emphazises my teint?"

"Well," the young man drawled and leaned onto the counter, a smug smirk playing across his lips. "Maybe you buy the one that matchs the skirt you bought after I said I liked it, two days ago."

The smirk on Yukari's features resembled Amano's one and she leaned onto the counter as well. "So, you remember me?" she questioned, looking directly into his brown eyes.

"How could I not remember you?" he countered with a casual shrug. "You're probably our best customer."

A voice in Yukari's head screamed, Victory! Oh why was there no such Olympic kind of sport like flirting? Without being conceited but she would be champion. That was a fact.

"Probably," she grinned widely. "And I should get a reward, don't you think? A nice little reward for this oh so unselfish deed of mine. Maybe you could - ?"

"What was that?" Amano questioned and leaned closer to her, probably also hearing what had made her trail off.

Yes, what was that? Yukari straightened and pricked her ears. If she wasn't completely mistaken and if her senses weren't trying to fool her she would say it sounded like farting. And it was coming out of her purse.

O-kay.

"Does your purse suffer from indigestion or something?" Amano questioned in amusement and a blush crept over Yukari's features. "I know someone who could help you in case it's serious."

"I..." she began but trailed off again, opening her purse and searching for the source of the embarressing noise.

"Ah, I see, your cell phone is sick," the young man chuckled when Yukari pulled it out of her purse, a look of pure confusion on her face.

Her cell phone was farting. It was ringing. She did not chose for farting as her ring tone.

"Mamoru," she hissed through gritted teeth and the cell phone cracked dangerously when her hands closed mercilessly around it. "This unsufferable, spoiled, underhanded and lousy little brat! I'll make him suffer like never before that he wishs to burn in the depths of hell when I should ever -"

"Don't you want to know who's calling?" Amano asked with a bemused grin at Yukari's muttering and she flashed him a seething glare, making him raise his arms in defence.

"Hello?" she barked, pressing her cell phone to her ear. Mamoru would die, nevertheless.

"Where is she?" a male voice reached her ear that wasn't a single bit less annoyed.

"Who's there?" Yukari replied, frowning in confusion but though able to block the way of the next customer who was trying to push past her. It was an instinct. She was defending her territory.

"Well, let me tell you where she is not," the deep voice continued, sarcasm joining the anger.

"Hey, listen!" the redhead countered irritatedly, her eyes narrowed. "I don't know your problem but I don't care, okay?! You can't just dial a number and bark at a stranger...well, you can as long as it's not me who you're bothering! Go search for someone else to -"

"Hitomi is not in Adon."

Yukari blinked and her brows rose in sudden realization. "Van, is that you?"

Van Fanel stood on a dusty road beside his black car, the epitome of a scowl on his features. "No, Santa Claus," he snarled in reply and kicked a stone with his foot, scaring the living lights out of a group of chickens that had been peacefully pecking the ground.

"Ah, well then," Yukari stated and tapped her index finger against her cheek. "You know, I'm a good girl and I always wanted to have this beautiful little chain with the -"

"Yukari!" Van exploded and the redhead immediately held the cell phone away from her ear, a pained expression on her face.

"Okay okay, I get it," she replied carefully and roled her eyes, mouthing 'friend' when she spotted Amano looking at her with questioningly raised brows. "But you could have just told me that you can't take a joke. Would have saved me from serious eardrum bursting."

"Don't tempt me," he growled and stuffed his left hand in the pocket of his pants, glancing at his car that was covered with a layer of yellowish dust. He didn't dare to lean against it in fear it could crumble to pieces; the thing was probably older than him.

"I wouldn't dare!" Yukari replied with faked indignation and put her hand to her heart. "What happened?"

"What happened?" Van snorted and frustratedly ran a hand through his hair. "Well, your little friend gave a quite impressive show here. She pulled the dirtiest trick ever on me. I have never been outwitted like that."

"Complete and coherent sentences, please," the redhead sighed.

"As you maybe already know, Hitomi visited me, today," the young man began and looked up into the deep blue sky, squinting his eyes against the intense sunlight. "And before running from me once again, she told me where I could meet her this afternoon."

"She did what?" Yukari sputtered. "And you're sure that we're speaking about the same Hitomi Kanzaki? Blind? Green eyes? Terribly afraid of falling in love?"

"Well, yes," Van replied matter-of-factly. "Right now, I'm where she told me I could meet her."

"And?" she questioned with a careless shrug.

Van looked around with a dry expression adorning his features, as if that was enough to answer the question. But then again, it probably was.

Adon was one of the innumerable farming estates that were surrounding Fanelia in a wide circle and where time had stopped a long time ago. A handful of farms was hemming the road that went right through the small village, a road that was not asphalted. The flimmering warm air was impregnated with the scents of dry and sunlit grain and muck heaps, the noises of horses and cows coming from out of huge barns.

An ocean of golden shimmering ears was swepping against the farms, reaching as far as the eye could see, the slim plants moving softly in the light summer breeze which caused waves to run over the fields. Van slowly turned around but all he saw were fields. Fields that merged into a soft blue at the horizon, the skyline of Fanelia towering above the surface of grain fields like sharp rocks above the sea.

"She told me she would be in 14, Street of the Fortunate in Adon," he finally stated flatly. "She's not here. There isn't even a Street of the Fortunate here. Actually, there is only one road going through this bunch of houses."

"How can you be sure that she's not there?" Yukari asked, biting her lip to keep herself from bursting out laughing. "Maybe she's just hiding?"

He knew that she was mocking him. "I already asked everybody around here if they knew her and I got to know that there are more cows living in this village than human beings," Van answered and Yukari covered her mouth with her hand to stiffle the giggles.

"Oh, Van," she replied in sympathy, a smile lingering on her lips. "But you have to admit that she's quite imaginative."

"Yeah, nobody can beat her in driving me off," he muttered and angrily waved his free hand to scare away a cheeky chicken that had landed on the hood of his car, cursing under his breath when it left a nice little package for him. Black went so well with white. "Doesn't she get a head- ache from all this thinking of ways-to-get-rid-of-Van?"

"She doesn't get any head-aches, Van. She causes them," Yukari said with a voice that indicated that she spoke from experience. "But you're not giving up, are you?"

"And leave her laughing last?" he snorted. "Not even when hell is freezing over. Where is she?"

"She's going to kill me when she finds out I gave you my number behind her back," the redhead stated and drew circles on the counter with her finger.

"You're not afraid of her, are you?" Van asked with a mischievous glint in his auburn eyes.

"I'm not!" she exclaimed vividly and Van couldn't hide the smirk any longer. "It's just that I already have so many bruises from her hitting."

"Tell me where I can find her."

#--#

"You're so quiet, Hitomi," a soft but old voice spoke up, sore and tired from already speaking for so many years. "Is something bothering you?"

The young woman blinked a few times, her blind eyes dry from staring into nothing for so long, and unconsciously tightened the grip around the arm of the old woman who was walking beside her. "No, it's nothing," she replied and softly shook her head, the sun warming her face.

"You're not wearing your sunglasses anymore," the old woman continued and brushed a grey curl out of her face, a sparkle in her wise brown eyes.

"I...," Hitomi began but stopped when her heart skipped a beat. "I only forgot them at home. No need to smirk like that, Marissa."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied and tried to fight down the smile that was tugging at the corners of her wrinkled lips, slipping her arm out of Hitomi's embrace. "Look, the roses are blooming."

They were in a beautiful garden that was hidden between willows and ginkos, a symphony of colours and scents playing within the halfshadows under sunkissed leaves. Reflections of sunlight were twinkling between the old trunks, a small pond luring dragonflies with their fragile bodies shimmering like coloured metal. Soft noises were hovering in the air, people who were also taking a walk talking quietly to each other.

"I know," Hitomi whispered and her stick tapped carefully over the paved way. "I can smell them."

Marissa watched silently when the young woman slowly stretched out her hand and reached for the flowers which seemed to come to life whenever a light breeze rustled past them. Her hand jerked briefly when a pointed leaf touched her palm and her fingers ran gently over the velvety petals.

It was when a pink sparkle caught her attention, her eyes searching Hitomi's neck.

"You've still got Maaya's necklace," she said with a sad smile and Hitomi nodded slowly, reaching up to clasp the tear-shaped gem.

"Yes, I never take it off," the blind woman replied and absently rolled the rose-coloured stone between her sensitive fingers. "It reminds me of her. It's like she's always with me."

"I can't believe it's already been a year," Marissa stated and glanced around, her eyes glistening. "Hitomi, I can't express how thankful I am that you still come here although there is actually no reason for you to do so. You're everything I have left."

"Marissa, stop talking such nonsense," Hitomi countered and narrowed her eyes. "You were grandmother's best friend! You are one of my best friends! It's not that you force me to come here or anything! This isn't a burden! I want to be here and spend time with you! Now, stop it! You know how much I hate to become sentimental!"

Deep wrinkles appeared around Marissa's mouth when she smiled. "I'm sorry," she said with a wink and grabbed Hitomi's slim hand. "Let's go back inside. I heard there was delicious cake and coffee."

The grass gave softly under their bare feet when they walked across the lawn that connected the garden with a huge building, the façade shining a blinding white and innumerable windows reflecting the sunlight.

"Are you happy here?" Hitomi questioned quietly, her voice wavering, unsure.

Marissa gave a laugh. "Yes," she laughed. "I can't believe it but yes, I truly am happy. When I heard 'old people's home' I thought I would die but it was the best solution. With them all gone I had nobody to care for me and nobody to talk to but here..." She smiled again. "Here, I have to flee to the garden to escape all the talking, at least for a few minutes."

Hitomi grinned. "Good."

The voices around them grew louder when they neared the terrace that was shaded by huge umbrellas, almost all chairs already occupied by discussing people.

"And there is really nothing bothering you?" Marissa asked again when they entered the terrace, rough plates warming the soles of their feet.

"Yes, everything alright," Hitomi replied, her green eyes looking at everything but the smiling, old woman.

"Fine," she said and shoved Hitomi softly towards the entrance of the building. "Then, go get our shoes while I'll see if I can find two empty seats for us."

Hitomi's stick tapped noisily over the ground and she smiled when she suddenly felt the cold of the tiles seep into her feet that were covering the floor of the entrance hall, the soft noise her footsteps reveberating from the walls. The air-conditioned inside of the building caused goosebumps on her skin for she was actually used to the warmth outside.

The feeling changed when the scent of warm grain and rainshowers washed over her, something inside her twisting.

"Where are you headed, Hitomi?"

Passion brings the tempest
I'll slay a thousand dragons to save my little princess
A walking gift from God, you are my shining star
The diamonds and gold that most men be mining for

She was frozen to the spot, her eyes wide and the little colour that usually adorned her cheeks draining from her face. It was that one voice that haunted her thoughts, that voice she had tried so hard to ban from her mind. There wasn't even an echo. Only five words that had her heart hammering in her chest that she thought it would simply break her ribs. "Van..."

"Surprised?" he replied in feigned confusion and stepped in front of her with his arms linked behind his head, his looming presence almost suffocating her. "You sound surprised where there is no need to for we were actually arranged to meet, weren't we? Don't tell me you forgot."

His every word was dripping with sarcasm and she carefully took a step backwards, her eyes darting over the ground. "Van, I..." she began with her voice shaking, but trailed off, swallowing her words.

"What?" he continued casually, his dark brows raised. "You didn't expect me here? Should I actually be somewhere else maybe? Somewhere farther away from here?"

He was angry and frustrated, his voice ever so slowly becoming louder, and she knew exactly why. She pressed her lips to a thin line and remained silent and motionless, hoping that the storm would just run over her and leave her unharmed.

"Well, when you're not going to say anything I might as well apologize for my lateness," Van stated and slightly bowed his head, his auburn eyes watching her like eyes of a hawk, ready to nose-dive for his prey. "I'm very sorry but the address you gave me was unfortunately wrong. You probably didn't know it. There were nothing but fields and chicken that hated me in Adon. You probably didn't know that as well. Why would you send me intentionally to Adon, right?"

Hitomi swallowed again and grasped her stick tightly. "What are you doing here?" she asked quietly. "How...?"

"How did I get to know the right address, you ask?" he interfered and gave a loud laugh, Hitomi instantly stiffening when she felt his hands rest on her bare shoulders, his warmth seeping into her. "Gods, Hitomi! When you want me to back off, just tell me but, please, stop playing these games."

Angrily, she shrugged off his hands, the cold air that surrounded her again making her shiver. "I don't play any games," she hissed and the young man sighed.

"Whatever you say," Van murmured and glanced at the opened double doors that led out onto the terrace. "But when I'm already here, do you care for a walk?"

Hitomi's blind eyes stared at the ground as if the solution for everything could be found there, only to wordlessly turn around and head for the door. She felt Van join her side, his clothes rustling softly with every step he took.

She jerked when a warm hand was suddenly placed on her arm, a familiar voice whispering in her ear. "I see, this is what you call nothing," Marissa chuckled who had been watching and waiting for them to enter the terrace. She winked at a surprised Van and was gone again before Hitomi could hiss a reply.

Her cheeks slightly reddened, she stalked across the lawn and soon found herself wrapped in the scent of roses again. The silence that surrounded them unnerved her and she angrily plucked a poor rose bloom that unfortunately had come across the way of her hands, feeling his eyes on her.

"You're pretty unforgiving, you know," she grumbled and Van raised a dark brow, turning his gaze away from her with his lips curling into a smile.

"Are you talking with me?" he countered lazily, watching the sun twinkle through the foliage that was spanned above them like a huge umbrella.

"No, I'm talking with the roses," Hitomi snapped, plucking two petals at once and Van grinned, watching her out of the corners of his eyes. "Why would I want to talk with you at all?"

"Okay, I just wanted to be sure," the raven-haired man replied casually and shrugged, turning his back to her.

"I mean 'You only get to know the weight of a word when you keep it'," she mimicked after a moment of silence and plucked the last remaining petal, a grin spreading across Van's features that reached from one ear to the other one. "Don't you think that you're exaggerating?"

"Exaggerating or not," he drawled and turned to face her back. "It did work, didn't it?!"

She whirled around, angry green eyes flashing at him. "What are you implying?" she barked and threw her hands up in frustration. "What are you intending at all? Why are you doing all that? Why are you feeling such a sadistic joy in driving me crazy?"

His deep laughter filled the air and he quickly raised his hands. "Now, you're exaggerating," Van stated but Hitomi only kept staring at him.

"Why?" she repeated quietly and he sighed.

Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply before he spoke. "Do you believe in love at first sight?" he questioned in a whisper and Hitomi's delicate brows shot up.

"You must be kidding me," she replied and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I'm blind, remember?"

Van cracked open an eye, an annoyed flicker crossing the auburn depth. "Do me a favour and forget for once that you're blind!" he countered and a sudden breeze ruffled through his pitch-black hair. "This is not only about looks! There is so much more to it! Do you know this feeling of restlessness? This feeling that there has to be more? That there has to be something you cannot describe and cannot put into words?"

Hitomi didn't reply. She only stared at the ground where patterns of soft shadows were dancing over the grass. He just shook his head.

"And suddenly it's gone," he continued quietly. "You suddenly feel calm and at peace and you can't explain it but you just know that you found what you have been searching for all the time. You want to believe that everything that happened, happened with purpose. You want to believe that there is a sense in everything. And by being close to that one person you get the feeling of..." he trailed off and looked up at her, his eyes searching her blind ones. "...the feeling of belonging."

You found what you have been searching for.

Her mouth was slightly agape, her breathing fast. She felt cold although this day was one of the warmest ones of the year so far and she rubbed her arms, hoping to be able to chase away the numb feeling.

Hitomi hugged herself tighter when she felt him slowly approach. "Hitomi, I -" he began but broke off when she raised her hands to stop him and clumsily grasped his wrist before he could touch her.

The wind around them died down and they just stood there, eyes wide.

Van tilted his head backwards and squeezed his eyes shut, feeling her fingers run gently over the sensitive underside of his forearm. He had tried to ignore it. He had thought if he ignored it, it would just disappear, all disappear. But after all these years, it was still there. And it would always be. It would always be there.

"Van, what is that?" Hitomi whispered and Van inhaled sharply, her fingertips tracing his skin.

"I already told you, it's nothing," he replied flatly and wrested his arm almost violantly out of her grip, turning away.

"Nothing?" she echoed and laughed humorlessly. "I'm not stupid, Van. These were scars, I could feel them."

Van stared down at his forearms, stared at the fine white lines that were quite a contrast to his tanned skin so to always remember him. As if he didn't knew. Scars. Scars that would forever mark him. He closed his eyes and desperately ran his hands through his hair.

"Is it because of drugs?" Hitomi questioned and her voice was as cold as ice, making him turn around with his eyes narrowed.

"What?" he replied dumbfoundedly, his brows knitted in confusion.

"I was asking if your arms were in this state because you're taking drugs," she repeated angrily and Van gave a sudden laugh. It was a cold laugh that made her shiver. "Do you think this is funny? Do you think you have the right to laugh at me?"

Her voice was sharp, slicing through the air, and his laughter quickly subsided. "No, Hitomi, you don't understand...," he began, trying to stop her from pulling up the walls around her but she didn't even let him time to take a breath.

"No, I understand perfectly fine! I'm blind, not deaf, and you're just like everyone else!" Hitomi spat and a cold smile crossed her lips. "I thought you were different but oh, no surprise, I was wrong again! Just because she's blind, you don't need to tell the naïve, little girl for hey, she can't see the scars, right?!"

"Hitomi, listen to me!" Van barked, drowning her own angry voice and she narrowed her eyes.

"I've already been listening too much!" she hissed in reply, before he could continue. "I've let you wrap me in your lies so you could play your little games with me! And you know what? I'm sick of it! You wanted me to tell you to back off? Fine! Leave me alone and stay the hell out of my life!"

His eyes widened briefly and for a second, hurt flickered within his boundless orbs, but was quickly overcome by rage. With his fists clenched at his sides, he watched her walk off, shadows dancing over her retreating back.

"Wait!" he yelled and took after her without hesitating.

Hitomi didn't hear the noise of soft but fast footsteps coming after her over the grass, she was too busy with angrily blinking the tears away that stubbornly gathered in the corners of her eyes. It's been so long since she last cried and she wouldn't waste her tears on him. He didn't deserve them.

She was halfway across the lawn when he caught up with her, his hands holding her shoulders in a strong but not painful grip and his heavy breathing was roaring in her ears. The scent of wide fields that had surrounded him like a cloak was now wrapped around her as well, indicating just how close he was.

"You said you would stay away from me if I told you to do so!" she snarled, averting her glistening eye, and tried to wind out of his grip but only succeded in making him tightened it.

"I will, don't worry," Van replied in a calm voice and Hitomi knew it was more dangerous than having him yell. At least, then she knew what to expect; barking dogs don't bite. "In contrast to other people I know, I do keep my word."

Her head snapped up and seething green eyes burned right into his ones. "I'll leave you alone as soon as you let me explain," he continued flatly and stared right back at her, his eyes shaded by strands of raven-black hair. "You don't accuse me of taking drugs and lying and then, run away again! You want to know the truth? Then, stay and listen, dammit!"

Hitomi averted her eyes again, her shoulders sagging in surrender.

"I was fourteen," he continued without waiting for a reply, knowing that he had won. "I was in school when the police officer came to take me from my classes and brought me to the hospital. Did you ever hear of a truck crashing into the end of a tailback?"

Hitomi nodded mutely and he slowly released his grip on her shoulders, the young woman immediately hugging herself, taking a step away from him.

"That's what they said had happened to my parents and my brother." Van's voice was no more than a whisper, his eyes directed to the ground where he absently watched a bee crawl over a fragile, yellow bloom. "They were on their way back home from Folken's college. They had went to fetch him because he would have stayed at home over the holidays. And one damn kilometer before they would have left the highway, there had been a traffic jam.

"Gods, how can you just fail to notice something like that?" he exclaimed and tilted his head so to face the sky, eyes closed. "The truck hit them and shoved them right into the rear of another one. The car was completely crushed between the trucks and my parents didn't have any chance at all. I was told that it happened so fast that they didn't feel anything.

"My brother survived the impact and I waited for two hours in the hospital until a doctor came. He was stained with blood and I just knew that it was Folken's as well as I knew that he didn't make it. The man began to rant about how sorry he was and that they had tried everything to keep him alive but I didn't listen." The young man gave a laugh that made Hitomi jerk violantly, sounding foreign among the peaceful noises around her.

"I was so angry," he whispered with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I was angry at them for leaving me. Angry for leaving without me. I wanted to yell at them, scream at them, but they were gone.

"We've never been a big family with my mother being an only child and my father having only one sibling, my uncle Vargas. His wife had died when giving birth to their daughter who also hadn't survived child-birth when I was four. Vargas died of cancer only a few years later."

"V-Van, I..." it was the first time that Hitomi said something, since he had started to explain, and her voice was shaking.

"Don't interupt me! You wanted to know so you will get to know!" he replied sharply and glared down at her. "That day, I lost my complete family. After I was told what had happened to Folken, everything blurred. I can only remember the wish of wanting to be with them and black and white tiles being covered with blood. My blood."

Hitomi pressed her hand over her mouth and turned away, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Pretty stupid to try to commit suicide in a hospital, isn't it?" he questioned and smiled ironically. "A nurse found me and they told me later that I only just made it through."

She slowly turned to face him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Is that pity I see in your eyes?" he questioned quietly and watched a single tear rush down her pale cheek. "Don't pity me for something which is entirely my own fault. I was such a coward and disappointed my family in every way possible. That's why I've neither been at their funeral nor ever been at their graves."

"But you were -" Hitomi tried to reply despite the hoarseness of her voice but Van cut her off.

"Stop racking the brains in that pretty head of yours about something you don't give a damn about!" he stated flatly and looked her over once more. "Don't think about it any longer. I just didn't want you to remember me being a liar if you remember me at all that is. Have a nice life, Hitomi Kanzaki."

He didn't wait for a goodbye, knowing there would be none, and left her standing on the lawn, the sun beating down on her and the warm scent of grain still lingering in the air.

Tbc...

#--#

f-zelda: Hey there!!!! grins I'm glad you like it and yeah, I'll explain why Hitomi's blind in a later chapter. I hope you got my email and understand my slowness sweatdrops Thanks!!!

Sereneblaze: Lol, I'm sorry for stopping there but it would have been too long if I had continued :P And nay, I'm not going to include the whole Esca staff. Therefore the story is way too short. And I'm glad you'll live though grins Mwahahahahahaha, aye, the "weird language", as you call it, is German :P But sighs dreamily I wished I could speak so many languages!!! And don't worry, you don't seem mental at all :P I'll read your story as soon as I find the time!!! Thank you!!!!!!!

Spirit0: Nay, nothing wrong with lone-wolfs grins See, Van is one, so there can't be something wrong about it :P blushs I'm happy you liked it!!! Aye aye!! I'm a lil surprise box :P What do you say to the chapter? Mwahahaha, hope you didn't die before you were able to read!!! Thanks for the review!!!!!!!!!!! I enjoyed it a lot!!!!

saphir kitsune youkai girl: Ouch. Well, sorries for the cliffy but I wanted it there :P I'm glad you liked it though.

Blaque and Wight: Aye, thankiez but uh-oh bites nails high hopes are my downfall!!! I always fear that I won't be able to fulfil them!! Just read it till the end and then, judge...hehe. But thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

fireangel1621: hides behind chair Sheesh!! C'mon, you knew I'd stop there!!!! :P Maybe the chappy is a compensation!! Thanks!!

blonde-hitomi: bursts out laughing and falls off her chair His package!!!!! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! wipes tear of laughter Wouldn't mind either!!!! :P:P:P:P bursts out laughing again So, you're a matchmaker, eh?! A friend of mine tried it once and I glared daggers at her the whole evening. Hah!! And aye, your review was quite unique!!! goes to eat Van Mwahahahahahahahahaha!!! Thanks a ton!!!!!!!

SabrinaYutsuki: blushs Thank you!!!!!

Kya77: Thanks!! grins that her skull splits And heh, see, I answered the questions :P

kawaii neko: coughs uneasily Ah well, sorries for that...ehe. But I'm glad you liked it!! Thanks!!!!!!

...I...: backs slowly away Okay, now, I'm afraid...

DesolateAznVamp: Lol, there you go!!!

Wake-Robin: blushs beyond red Wow, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

snow blossoms: Aye, one of my favourite reviewers!!!!!! grins that her skull splits And I'm glad that I can make you happy!!! And hah, you like the funky chicken lines!!! Gah, I sometimes think that I bore my readers but oh well, nobody forces them to read, ne?! :P And Oo Alexander Dumas?! Oi, I think there are a lot more authors with witty convos in their stories who are a lot better than humble and unmentionworthy me!! But thanks!!!! You had me blushing like a madman there!!!! Actually, I can reply nothing but my stupid "Thank you!!!" grins shyly Thanks so much!!! P.S. Nay, you didn't bore me to tears :P

SabineballZ: Jaja, die Liebe macht's möglich :P Fand es war langsam Zeit, dass sie sich mal ein bisschen zusammenreißt, hah! So ja, hoffe dir hat's gefallen und danke wie immer wie wild grins

Geminidragon: grins Thanks!!!!

Sailor Hope: blushs like mad Thank you!!!!

iwakura.lain: Lol, there you have the big secret :P

blubb: Lol, jaja, selbst ich kann noch überraschen mit einem "ruhigen" Kapitel :P Muss auch mal sein!! grins Und schau, hattest recht mit der Ruhe vor dem Sturm!! Mwahahaha, danke und ich versuch so bald wie möglich zurückzuschreiben!!!!

MimiGhost: saluts Aye aye!!!! :P

Eli: blushs Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A/N: There you go. Van's secret revealed. Readers happy. At least, I hope so cringes Ya know, I can't work that good with murder threats sitting in my neck. But anyways, if everything goes well and all, next chapter will be the last one. Depends on whether I get some other ideas or not. But actually, it was planned to end with the sixth one. So yeah, you'll see!! :P

And ack, I can't believe I forgot to thank Starry Eyed Wonder for the wonderful idea with the old people's home!!!! hugs her like mad I'm so sorry I forgot it!!! You helped me a lot!!! Thanks so much, woman!!!!!! weeps at your feet I'm so sorry I forgot it!!! It's not that I do it intentionally, really!!! I'm just so horribly forgetful!!!! sobs harder

Dariel