Swing
Disclaimer: (I always forget these things!!) I don't own RFR, though I wish I did. I don't own the song...though I really wish I did. But in spirit, they are mine. Or not. Actually, they are. Really. If you believed that you are really dumb. Now here's my story!
Robbie sighed as he just stared up at the ceiling. He couldn't believe what he was doing. He couldn't believe what he had DID. Plopped on his bed, his hands spread out; one hand had a phone in it. It kept beeping and beeping and beeping. Robbie. Just. Broke. Up. With. Kim.
Why? It was really odd, but whenever he saw Lily now, his heart went faster than ever before. Why? He didn't know. Was...was he in love with her. He sucked in air.
No way.
Lily had been his best girl friend since, since, well...since they met I suppose. I mean, that one time...he thought she liked him and he had a tiny crush but he never thought it would go anywhere...but now...her smile invades his dreams, his thoughts, his mind...he can't stop thinking about her.
He had to stop, and he knew it though; his two very good male friends, Travis and Ray were head over heels for that girl named Lily. He HAD to stop obsessing over her.
Somehow, he couldn't bring himself too. If he just closed his eyes, her female voice whispered into his mind and he couldn't get it out...the words of what she said glided and weaved through his thoughts. He couldn't stop thinking about her. A month ago, his thoughts were all about Kim. Now it's Lily?
Dammit, he thought, and then he jumped out of bed, deciding that he had to get the heck out of his room. The silence was cutting him up; it was just he, his thoughts, and his confused mind. He had to get out. He needed to understand the things that cannot be understood.
Taking his leather jacket he just got, he quietly went off the door without a trace. The icy air choked him, but he continued on. Robbie didn't know where he was going...right, left, right, left. His eyes were locked onto his feet; they were leading him somewhere.
His feet stopped and Robbie looked up. The park? A chill ran up his spine. Memories flashed his mind of a little five year old Robbie running around the park, holding on to his mother's hand tightly. The smile on the small boy's face made her laugh. They played for hours, just him and his mom.
When it was getting dark, the five year old begged his mother for a couple more minutes as he ran to his favorite swing, which he had named, Swingy. Hey, he was only five years old! It was the most original name he could think of! His mother nodded and helped him on his swing and started pushing him. Then, her crystal clear voice rose in the air.
"Do you want to sing our song?" she asked. The mini-Robbie looked back and grinned at her, bobbing his head up and down. Then she sang, in a clear voice,
"My baby likes to swing,
My baby likes to go up and down,
My baby likes to swing,
Higher and higher and higher and higher,
My baby likes to swing,
My baby likes to go up and down,
My baby likes to swing,
With a push from me."
And then she repeated it, as the young Robbie closed his eyes, smiling happily at the words of the song. She pushed him until it was seven o'clock, when finally Robbie was getting tired. It was one of the most perfect nights ever. But now he couldn't do it anymore. He was older and she was busy.
Grinning at the cute little memory, he ambled over to a swing and sat there. Then his legs started swaying and he was in the air. Childish, but still fun, he thought. He looked at the people passing the park; an elder couple taking a walk; two friends laughing; a young boy and girl holding hands. Aw, true love.
"Robbie?"
Robbie was so startled; he jumped off the swing and hit his head on the ground. "Ow," he said as he looked to see who it was who said his name. A girl his age with blonde hair was laughing. Lily! He thought, and his face turned scarlet red, burning and burning until finally his friend stopped and walked over to him.
"You okay Mr. Graceful?" she asked, holding out her hand. Robbie took it; it was nice and warm. When he was getting up, her hair touched his cheek, just for a moment. Then he got more embarrassed, so all he could force out to her witty comment was a small nod.
"What are you doing here?" she asked as she put her hands in her pockets, looking at him. "You seemed to be going out to la-la land when I saw you on that swing..." Then she laughed again.
Robbie didn't know what to say. "Uh, well..." he stuttered, as she took a seat on the opposite swing. "You know, just taking a break. From thinking...about, you know, stuff." He sat on his swing and started up again, just looking at the sky, thinking about what he had just said. Smooth, real smooth.
"Wow! Robbie, you think? Never thought it was possible." Then she laughed. Her wonderful laugh. Just thinking about it got Robbie amazed. He started spacing out while there was a long silence. You could just hear the squeaking of swings. "So what were you thinking about?" her gentle voice asked calmly. That got Robbie out of dream world.
"Well, I broke up with Kim."
"Really? Kim?"
"Yeah..." and they started talking about Cougar Radio and RFR and Kim. But the burning question never seemed to leave Robbie: Why did he break up with Kim for Lily? Lily had two men wanting her already...why her? And why now? "Uh, Lily?" She nodded to him.
"I was talking to my cousin, uh...Richard, and he had this great girlfriend but he broke up with her because he's in love with his best girl friend. But the problem is, he doesn't know why now he started feeling that way. To make matters worse, his other best friends have a crush on her. I don't know what to tell Richard. Could you help me out?"
"Well," Lily started. "Maybe Richard was going out with that girl to cover up that he really loved his best friend because he didn't want to hurt his other friends. That girl was just someone he forced himself to love because, maybe, well, he never wanted to make himself realize he loved her. Or something else. I dunno."
She started swinging again. Whoa. You know when you have a fuzzy screen on the TV and you force it to work, and then suddenly it becomes so clear because all you did was just get some help? Well that's what Robbie felt like. It makes sense, he thought, as he just looked at the dirt.
I forced myself to love Kim...because I needed to cover up the fact that I loved Lily. I was lying to myself and everyone else this whole time. I never loved Kim. It was always Lily. I don't know but it's Lily. All I can think about is Lily. I don't care if she rejects me...I just need to see her, to be with her. His thoughts ended. "Thanks Lily. That really helped." Robbie said quietly.
"Anytime," she said, smiling at him.
The song popped into his head. "Hey, want to listen to a song that my mom used to sing to me when I was little?" she nodded. He took a deep breath and then sang out,
"My baby likes to swing,
My baby likes to go up and down,
My baby likes to swing,
Higher and higher and higher and higher,
My baby likes to swing,
My baby likes to go up and down,
My baby likes to swing,
With a push from me."
When he ended, she flashed an amazing smile. "That was so cute. Let's sing it together!" And they did. He got off his swing and started pushing her; just like what his mother did when he was little. They sang until nightfall when it got really cold.
When they finally decided to stop, she gave him a hug. "The afternoon was so much fun Robbie!" His skin tingled with excitement when she hugged Robbie. "Well, I guess I have to go. Till next time!" she started to leave.
Robbie took a deep breath. "Lily, wait!" She stopped and turned around, just looking at him. But he couldn't say it. He breathed out, and then smiled at her. "Be safe when you go home. Okay?" Then he gave a little wave.
Lily shook her head. "McGrath..." she mumbled and then went on her way. Robbie's soft eyes looked as she ambled off into the darkness, happiness filling his heart and soul. It had been one of the best days of his life. He turned to walk away, his hands in his pockets, murmuring the song as he went.
And so what if he didn't tell her? It wasn't like she was going to be gone tomorrow morning; he had all his life to tell her. And if he were rejected, he'd still be her best friend forever. And maybe on a chilly day like today they could meet at the park and start singing the song again.
Just the squeak of swings,
My baby likes to swing...
the melody of the song,
My baby likes to go up and down
memories of the past,
My baby likes to swing.
and...them, just swinging.
With a push...from...me.
My mom used to sing that song to me all the time. Because it was MY song. You know? And I forgot all about it...kind of like you forgot about one of your best friends and you just think about all the memories, y'know? I found myself singing that song, for no reason. I heard it when my mom sang it to my brother and I was like, "Hey! That's MY song!" It means a lot of me.
And I LOVE Libbie fanfics now. I read Unobvious and some other fanfics and i love them because of the bittersweet taste of the love between them is so heartwarming. You always picture Ray and Lily or Lily and Travis together and Kim and Robbie. But Robbie, I think, doesn't really like to be tied down...he'll get sick of Kim somehow. And look at the love between Robbie and Lily!!! . They are sO cute together!
Hope you enjoyed this,
Allie