A/N: I don't know what the hell this is. This is something to amuse my sad self when I've nothing better to do but lie in bed with my laptop, as a sort of break from my other fic(s). Don't take it seriously. It was written with a fever of over a 100 which should explain lack of plot, depth, and anything else required in a good story. But reviews would be nice never the less, as they are really the best medicine.

Disclaimer: I don't own much here. Harry Potter and all related things belong to this super cool lady named J.K. Rowling, and the main gist of this story kind of comes from my school carnation sale. Other random craziness comes from the influence of Motrin IB.

Be My Frickin' Valentine

Part I

Summary: Draco has trouble with pink flyer's and badly done sticking charms. Ginny comes to the rescue. Or does she?

**

" Need help?" She asked, staring at his blank Transfiguration homework. Draco snickered and blushed at the same time.

" I never need help from anyone." He said proudly, brushing past a confused looking Ginny Weasley. " Especially from you."

" Why?" She asked. Draco considered this for a moment.

" Because Daddy said so." Then he really walked away.

" You'll regret saying that before long!" Ginny called out prophetically, wagging a long fingernail at him. And that was all he cared to remember.

**

" Whoever did these sticking charms didn't do a very good job, now did they?" Draco said gruffly, trying desperately to shake off the Flyer From Hell off of the bottom of his shoes. Crabbe shrugged from beside him.

" Stick well, though." He commented dully. Draco rolled his eyes.

" Yes, but they're not supposed to stick to me!" He stared at the dubious look on Crabbe's face.

" Do I look like a wall to you?" He questioned disbelievingly. Crabbe didn't answer. Perhaps because he lost interest in the conversation, as he as often did--or perhaps because the answer was 'Yes'--but most likely, because he didn't know the answer.

" Never mind." Draco shook off the topic (as well as, finally, the annoying little scrap of paper, which floated away to haunt some other poor soul). As it floated away, he caught a glimpse of the front and vaguely read the big black letters printed carefully onto it.

VALENTINE'S CARNATION SALE!!!!!!

" Pish posh." He muttered. Never the less, his feet stepped forward to tentatively pick it up. It wasn't like he was really interested. He just wanted to see how stupid this thing was. His eyes quickly ate up the rest of the flyer.

COME BUY A CARNATION FOR A LOVED ONE OR A FRIEND ALL THIS WEEK DURING LUNCH TIME! A RED CARNATION TO SIGNIFY UNDYING LOVE, AND A WHITE CARNATION FOR UNDYING FRIENDSHIP!! DON'T BE THE ONLY ONE TO MISS OUT ON THIS CHANCE!

" Oh, Merlin. Since when did Hogwarts start endorsing cheesy fundraisers such as this one?" He turned to stare at Crabbe, who was chewing on something that looked suspiciously like one of the flyers. Draco shook his blonde head.

" Fundraising." He breathed heavily. " We've stooped too low. I feel violated, Crabbe. This school will never return to its height of prestige ever again."

" Yo so dwawatic." Crabbe stated profoundly. Draco gave another elaborate sigh, before attempting to discard the flyer carelessly to the floor. Attempted, being the key word.

" Damn it!" He cursed as it stubbornly stuck to his hand. " Why me?" He enquired loudly. Crabbe gave no answer.

" Damn you to the depths of hell, Stupid Carnation Sale of Doom." He named.

At a last attempt to rid himself of the pink thing, he banged his hand repeatedly against the stone wall as Crabbe stared thoughtfully. Draco's hand began to turn red, but he could not relent--as if he would let a silly pink thing defeat him.

But as it turned out, smacking it against the wall was a bad idea. The flyer, which was stuck to his hand, was now also stuck to wall, which meant Draco was also stuck to the wall. Thrashing frantically about, he created a flurry of pink flyers around him. One of them landed quite gracefully atop his head, another making itself home on his chest--and two more, quite comfortable on his shoes.

" Get off my shiny shoes, spawn of evil!" He cried.

Hearing this exclamation, a head of red poked out from around the corner, brown eyes wide. She quickly tripped over his not-so-shiny-anymore shoes, landing with a decisive 'Oof.'

" Oops." She mumbled to the ground. Draco closed his eyes and pretended not to notice while his inner monologue lamented for his tainted shoes.

Crabbe really didn't notice, and was too busy picking off the gum stuck underneath the painting frames.

After straightening up and carefully examining the rip in her good nylons, Ginny Weasley stared at Draco, hands on her hips.

" Does someone need rescuing?" She said brightly.

" Go brush your hair." Draco muttered rudely, gesturing to her tangled mane. Ginny smiled.

" I can't. Last time I tried, the handle broke off. After that incident, McGonagall's banned me from touching any brushes." She shrugged, examining a particularly messy tangle with a satisfied grin. Draco didn't have an answer to that. He stood dumbfounded in all his pink glory.

" Nice robes, by the way. The pink really adds something to it." Ginny commented thoughtfully, patting the flyer on his chest. Draco's eyes bugged out as she she neared him.

" Don't. Touch. Me." He declared, scooting his feet back until his back touched the wall. Ginny, for the first time, frowned.

" Are you sure you don't need help, Malfoy?" She asked, eyes full of riveting concern. " You look like you're stuck in some kind of trouble." Draco's eyes were cast down, reveling in the irony of her words.

" No, I'm fine, Weasley." He said through clenched teeth. He really wasn't very compatible with Weasley's, after all. Malfoy's were just naturally built that way. " I very well intended to sport a very pink look today. And now I'm just casually leaning against the wall to flaunt my new look. Now bugger off." But Ginny had already lost interest in him and whatever he had to say. She bent down to pick up a flyer.

" Carnation sales?" She wondered aloud. " That's rather suspicious, don't you agree?" She lost interest in that too, as she seemed to lose interest in many things very quickly. And then she threw it away just as quickly. Draco observantly noticed how nothing, not even a stray piece of dust, stuck to her.

" How did you do that?" Draco asked hurriedly. Ginny smiled serenely.

" Do what?" Draco reeled, beginning to grow infuriated. When Draco didn't answer, Ginny turned around.

" Well, since you don't need any help, I'll be off then. I have a chess club meeting soon." She waved cheerfully and began walking away.

Draco's heart sank as his last hope began to fade away. So he swallowed down his pride with a loud gulp and opened his mouth.

" NOOOO! COME BACK HERE!" He bellowed. Crabbe flinched and blinked at him.

" Me?" He asked. Draco ignored him and watched Ginny slowly turn around.

" DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?" She hollered back just as loudly.

" COME-BACK-HERE!" He shouted again. She frowned and stuck a finger in her ear.

" SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU. MAYBE IF YOU CAME CLOSER. I'M DEAF IN ONE EAR, YOU KNOW. I WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THIS THOUGH--TRAGIC STORY, REALLY--YOU SEE, I WAS PLAYING ON THE SWINGS ONE DAY AND--"

Draco's mind went insane. He began jumping up and down, motioning frantically with his hands.

" OH! YOU WANT ME TO COME CLOSER?" She asked, realization dawning on her freckled face. Draco slumped forward, hand still hanging onto the wall. Next he looked up, Ginny was standing before him.

" So, as I was saying about my ear--"

" I don't give a hang about your ear." He said haughtily. " Unstick me." He commanded.

" What?" She asked. " Damn, this stupid ear must be getting worse. I almost thought you said, ' Unstick me.'" Draco's face turned pink.

" I did say 'Unstick me'!" He yelled. Ginny gave him a look.

" You have problems." She murmured sympathetically.

" Unstick me!" He repeated.

" But lucky for you, I know a very good psychiatrist who can help you. Very costly, but you should be able to afford it, right?" She rambled. She began rummaging in her robes, as if looking for something. Her searching produced a white business card.

" Take it." She said. Draco blinked at her. If he could, he would have liked to run away right then. But he couldn't, under these circumstances. Ginny pressed on.

" Go on! Take it!" She said. When he did not move, she clicked her tongue.

" Oh, don't be so ridiculously prideful, Malfoy! Everyone needs help at some point in their life!" With that, she reached for his hand, the one stuck to the wall--pulled it away from said wall without much effort, and along the way, carelessly ripped off the flyer that he had begun to thought would be the bane of his existence.

" There we go." Ginny said, satisfied as she stuck the business card in his hand. " That wasn't so hard, now was it?" Draco goggled at her.

" I love you." He cried passionately. Ginny pretended not to hear--or maybe she really didn't, as she was turned to one side.

" See, all you need to do is owl her at her office and you should get a quick reply--"

Draco then reached out, grabbed her yapping head and kissed her, using, mind you, both hands. He was so wonderfully free!

" What're you doing?" Ginny demanded, pushing him away none too gently. Her face was flushed. He shrugged.

" Kissing you." He said simply. " Didn't you like it?" He asked hesitantly. Everyone liked his kisses. Hell, they were practically a copyrighted patent, sold at a store near you for your convenience.

Ginny shrugged nonchalantly, looking towards one direction of the hallway.

" Boys have cooties." She stated matter-of-factly. She was crazy, loony and still seemed so much more superior than he. He was even prettier than her! Something was dangerously wrong here. His perfectly pink lips bent into a pout. She tactfully ignored it, and hummed an inane song to herself.

When it seemed that there was nothing more to be said, she smiled brightly once again.

" Well, then. Have that chess club meeting to get to." She winked. Her eyes suddenly landed on Crabbe, who was sitting patiently on the floor.

" Eureka!" She exclaimed. " I knew I was forgetting something! Come on, Crabbe--we must be off to chess club!" She picked Crabbe off of the floor and dragged him along her way, waving back at Draco one last time.

None of this made sense. Somewhere, deep in his mind, Draco hoped the author would realize this. She took no heed.

**

Instead, Draco woke up with a scream. Severely shaken and half naked to boot, he shivered and scooted out of his silk sheets to pace about for a good few minutes in which nothing of importance happened. Suddenly, his eyes alighted with an idea; he sat down at his desk and recorded his dream in his journal. After recounting this strange account, he finished with a flourish:

Moral of this dream: Never consume beans and garlic before bed ever again. This kind of thing clearly asks for horrible nightmares, not to mention bad breath.

**

A/N:

The Real Moral of this Story: Even Malfoy's need help sometimes. Especially from female Weasleys. Bwahaha. If you're not massively disgusted by this story already, you can expect a few more of these.

Oh and the beans and garlic= bad dreams thingÉthat's more like an old wives' tale. Although scientists say that sleeping in the cold does really cause bad dreams. That's right--bundle up before going to bed! Or go to Target and get one of those pretty down comforters.

NEXT: More Valentine's Day themed stuff. Maybe some cameos. ::gigglecough::