Chapter Six: A Life So Missed

Upon arriving in the Gryffindor common room, Hermione threw herself on the sofa and buried her face in a pillow. Lucky for her, most of the house was at the Quidditch match supporting their mates, and the rest seemed to be occupied elsewhere. Sniffling, Hermione glanced into the flames, remembering all the times she had sat in that very spot with Ron and Harry. Will I ever see them again, she wondered, vaguely aware of the sound of a door opening.

She groaned, hoping that whoever it was would head up to the dormitories without noticing her there. The last thing she wanted right now was false sympathy from some person who didn't even know her name. All of her hopes were dashed though, when she heard gentle footsteps coming closer to where she rested. Hermione stiffened, praying that it was anyone but him.

A gentle hand rested on her shoulder, but Hermione did not look up. She had little need to. "Go away, Remus. I just want to be alone." She heard him sigh, and the gentle weight was removed immediately. She shuddered as the bitter cold feeling returned. Why are things so complicated, she wondered.

His soft footsteps rang through the room, and she assumed that he was leaving. She felt tears form behind her closed eyelids at the difficulty of it all, but managed to keep them from flooding through. A soft, hot breath caressed her face, and she opened her eyes, peering up at him. "Don't you ever listen?" she asked, choking back tears.

He shook his head, smiling down at her. "Just something I picked up from James and Sirius." He reached a hand out, cupping her cheek with a sad smile. "You had no reason at all to apologize to me. That... well, it was my fault, Hermione. You were upset, and I took advantage of that, and therefore, I am the one who must apologize to you."

Hermione frowned at the idea of Remus ever taking advantage of anyone. "It wasn't your fault at all. I was clinging to you and it was all rather confusing. I shouldn't have let it go that far. I should have had sense enough to step away instead of..."

She sniffled, biting back tears. "I miss my life the way that things used to be. Everything was so simple. I went to class and did well, and that was that. I just miss them so much, Remus. I miss watching them play Quidditch and helping them survive whatever mischief they're causing without too much harm. I miss laughing with them in the common room and helping them with their Potions work the night before it's due. I miss Ron's stupid grin and Harry's dumb laugh. I miss watching them play wizards chess while I pretend to read a book. God, I even miss hearing Malfoy call me a 'Mudblood', if only because being around him meant that Harry and Ron were close by. Why did this have to happen? Why was I stupid enough to let them trick me into coming to the dungeon? I should have known that Harry and Ron wouldn't have sent for me. They would have come and found me themselves, just like they always had. They were always there for me, and now I've left them."

She felt him sigh, his breath a warm breeze against her cool skin. "You weren't stupid. Whatever happened, it couldn't have been your fault. You didn't ask to be stuck here with us, and I'm sorry that you have to go through this, Hermione. I swear to you, I'll search until the end of the world to find a way to send you back to them with as little damage caused as possible. I apologize that it's taken so long with no clues thus far."

She shook her head, as much as possible with his hand still against her cheek. "It's not your fault at all. Don't you understand, Remus? None of this is your fault. You have changed your life around just to accommodate me, which is more than I ever would have asked from anyone. You've... changed... your... life..." she trailed off, the weight of those words hitting her. Simply by being there, she had altered the past and changed the relationship between the boys. Who knew what irreparable damage she had done and how much of the future she had changed.

Hermione's tears flowed freely again. "What have I done? I've ruined everything. Now Harry may never be born and I may never be... I may never be born," she said softly, burying her face in a pillow once more.

Remus dropped his hand from her cheek. She heard him shift; he was kneeling in front of her now. His arms slipped under her, dragging her up against his chest. She leaned into him, clinging to his robes with her face crushed against his neck. In one fluid motion, he was sitting on the couch, the upper part of her body draped over him as her legs trailed out on the couch beside them. "It will be okay. We'll get you home, just wait and see. I promise that we'll find a way."

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Author's Notes: Ugh... there was too much sighing in that chapter. Oh well, it'll get happier eventually, I swear.

I'd just like to thank my reviewers thus far; fionfee, Kath, nikkla, Dragon Blade5, and rane2920072.

Just a few little comments:

nikkla - I completely understand your comment about how most of these types of stories are rubbish. I actually read a few last night, but most didn't bother thoroughly explain why whoever it was got sent back and the reactions are completely wrong. I'm glad you find this one to be better.

Dragon Blade5 - Don't fret, things will be better a few chapters from now, I swear. And you definitely didn't sound mean.

rane2920072 - She won't be running far, I promise.