Disclaim: Such a wonder that I think I'll sleep instead…… I heart Rufus ^_^. Anyays. Oh my god I love Queer Eye for the straight guy, it's one of the greatest shows, they're so funny I laugh so much! I love Carson and Jai an Kyan ahhhh the fab five are delicious. I seriously think in a past life I was a gay male as opposed to a straight female… oh yeah and I don't own Harry Potter either. That's all in the loving hands of JK Rowling and Warner Bros

SLYTHERIN BOY

Chapter Fifteen: Thinking Too Much

Ron came across Severus. The boy hadn't gotten all the way to his quarters; he had slumped down against the wall. He had his knees drawn up and his forehead was leaning against them.

"Um…" Ron began. He bit his lip.

"G'way," Severus's muffled voice said.

"Look, Severus…" Ron said. Severus looked up at him. He had a betrayed, hurt look on his face that he wasn't bothering to hide.

"Why did you do that?" Severus asked.

"I just… I wasn't thinking, okay?" Ron said. "I didn't mean to,"

"You just completely outed me," Severus said. "Christ, Ron! People don't do that to each other! I never would have done that to you, even if I was really angry,"

"I know, look, I'm sorry…" Ron said helplessly.

"You know, everyone knows now," Severus looked worried. "As if I don't get harassed enough. But I guess that's just my life, right, to walk and be walked upon."

"Now, look, I told you I'm sorry and I didn't mean to do it," Ron said. "If it's helpful at all I outed myself before I left, too,"

"I thought you didn't even know if you were gay," Severus said, then.

"Well, in the whole night I had that I didn't sleep at all, I kind of figured out why kissing girls is always so unappealing to me," Ron said. "Christ, I mean, when you… well, I mean… it was totally different. Totally different than when I've kissed girls before. It was… well, good. Really, really good," he smiled.

Severus frowned, looking away slightly. He still looked upset. "I wasn't exactly ready for this. My whole world is spinning upside down right now,"

"Look, I really am, just, so sorry…" Ron said.

Severus looked at him for a moment, before apparently deciding that Ron was sincere. "Okay," he said. "I guess there's no use crying over spilt milk, right," he didn't seem to have convinced himself. Ron held his hand out to Severus, who grabbed it and pulled himself up. His hand tingled pleasantly from where Ron had touched it. He frowned.

Ron looked about to say something, when Harry and Hermione trotted up the corridor. Severus was still scowling, his hands thrust into his robes pockets.

"Hey…" Hermione said. She looked at Ron, who was blushing slightly, he looked almost scared. Severus gave her a defiant look, his jaw jutting just a bit.

"Look, you guys. I don't really know what's going on between you two," Hermione said. Ron opened his mouth.

"Nothing's going on. It was a one-time thing. I got carried away. Heat of the moment, or something like it. It won't happen again." Severus said. Ron looked slightly hurt. He stared at Severus for a moment, but Severus's face stayed fixed and blank. Ron looked away.

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"What?" Severus said.

"Last night." Harry clarified.

"That's really none of your business," Severus said, his ears burning red.

"Well," Ron said. "We were talking, and-"

"Weasley!" Severus snapped.

"My name is Ron." Ron said. "And I'm going to tell him later anyways, even if I can't tell him now. Besides, it's my story too, and since there's nothing going on with us we might as well fill them in,"

Severus looked appalled at the idea. "But it's embarrassing," he said softly.

"I think I've reached the maximum amount of embarrassment possible for me," Ron said. "So I don't really mind much." He shrugged.

Ron began to tell the story, starting from when he had talked to Severus. He finally got to the part where Severus had said "One way to find out," Severus blushed red.

"I told you it was embarrassing," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose and turning away.

"Shut up, Severus, it's cute," Hermione smiled in spite of herself. "Romantic, really,"

Severus gave an exasperated breath. "I can't help it. It's the red hair," he scowled, folding his arms.

"Like red hair?" Harry said.

"It's the most attractive hair color. It's so unique, too," he explained. "Having red hair is one of the best attributes physically that a person can have. If not the best," he shook his head. "But it's still embarrassing," he frowned.

Ron had blushed at the comment about his hair, and ran his fingers self-consciously through it. Severus watched it for a moment, before he said, "Stop doing that," and looking away. "Just because I don't want to be in a relationship with you doesn't mean I'm not attracted to you. You're making this all the more difficult for me."

"Well, you know what, you've made my entire potions career difficult, so you'll just have to deal." Ron said sardonically.

"Hmph," Severus grumbled.

Harry and Hermione exchanged a glance. They could tell that the mutual attraction between the boys was quite strong. It was hard to tell whether the two would inevitably end up together, or if they would continue to keep themselves apart in spite of a mutual desire between them.

****

Months passed. Before they knew it, it was summer break. Severus seemed particularly glum.

"Are you alright?" Hermione asked him. He frowned. "I was supposed to go to Hawaii this summer for vacation. But now I can't, because I'm so young. It isn't safe for young children like me to travel overseas alone. According to Albus." He said.

"That bites," Hermione said. "Where will you go instead?"

Severus shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I could go to my home in Italy, but I have a sneaking suspicion that my brother Max has moved his family in there for the summer. I hardly ever go there, usually I spend the summers here at Hogwarts." He shrugged. "I just don't see the purpose in living in a home for only a month," he said. "The professors usually stay another month to wrap everything up, with grading and cleaning and whatnot, and then they usually end up coming back a month early to deal with lesson plans and inventory and the likes of that."

"I see," Hermione said. "Well, you could always stay with our family."

"Your parents wouldn't allow it. Not to mention that I'm supposed to be a professor. Then they really wouldn't allow it." He scowled.

"That's true. You're probably right, actually," Hermione frowned. Her parents were rather conservative.

"I guess I'll talk to Albus. I'm sure he'll help me think of something. Chances are he'll let me stay here. Although strictly speaking, students aren't allowed." He scowled at the word.

"Well, let me know," she said. She waved goodbye to him as she went to Potions. They'd given up on making him go to that particular class. He was just getting on so badly with Lila, and he knew more about potions than her, anyway.

He sighed as he wandered towards the library. It was kind of nice to have a free period, but it would have been better if Hermione had one too, and he'd then have someone to talk to.

Maybe next year she won't take potions, he thought. He stopped. "First of all," he said to himself. "She doesn't do that dropping classes thing. Second of all, you will be teaching it next year, remember, they'll find a cure, so it's folly to even think about a class schedule next year." He was very firm in making sure he didn't sink back into a student-like outlook.

He shook his head, retreating to the library.

****

Ron and Harry followed Hermione to dinner. They met with Severus in the Great Hall, sinking into their now-normal seats. Hermione across from Severus, Ron across from Harry. Severus had told Hermione that any other seating arrangement with him next to or across from Ron Weasley would be awkward and unacceptable, so she'd talked to Harry, who'd told Ron, and it had all worked out in the end.

They ate quietly for a while, Severus picking at his food. They looked up as Albus ambled over.

"Severus!" He said, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. Severus looked at him suspiciously.

"I don't like that look, Albus," he said. "What are you planning to pull on me?"

"Why whatever do you mean?" Dumbledore asked innocently. "I just came over to tell you I've found a solution to your summer holiday problem," he beamed.

Uh oh, Severus frowned. "What? I thought we agreed I would stay here," he said suspiciously. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were listening avidly now.

"I found an even better, more practical, and less conspicuous solution!" Dumbledore held his index finger up. Harry could picture him as a cartoon character, with a light bulb appearing over his head.

"I don't like where you're leading me, Albus," Severus said in a slightly warning tone.

"I've found someone who can take you in over the summer!" he said brightly.

"Who?" Severus's sense of dread was overcoming.

"Well, I had a really long conversation with Molly, and I mentioned your predicament, and she had the grand idea that since her older sons had left, you could stay with them,"

Ron looked stunned, and Severus looked disbelieving.

"Molly..?" He said. "Molly… not Molly Wea..?"

"Yes! You know her, Molly Weasley," Dumbledore grinned.

"What?!" Severus said, his eyes widening. "But! You can't!"

"Well, then. Tootles!" Dumbledore waved his fingers at Severus, who stood up.

"Albus! Y- no, you can't-!" he said, but Dumbledore was gone.

Severus slumped back into his seat, looking frustrated.

"That damnable sneak," he growled. Ron still looked stunned. "You know, I'm sure he knows all about… that…" he trailed off, but they knew the even he was speaking of. When Ron had gone to apologize, so long ago. They had sort of come to a silent agreement not to mention it. Severus had kind of become part of the group, but he wasn't really friends with Ron and Harry, nor were they friends with him. They simply tolerated each other for Hermione's sake.

"You're staying at my house?!" Ron suddenly said. There had been a long silence preceding his outburst, and as such, they were all startled by it.

"I guess so. I don't particularly seem to have a choice in the matter." Severus said. "For some reason, my life has always been under the ultimate control of a very powerful God named Albus Dumbledore," he grumbled.

"But… you… he… Mum…" Ron stammered.

"Oh, I guess you're just supposed to get over it. There's nothing to be done about it now." Severus said. "It will be like old times. Only they have you now." He waved his hand dismissively.

"What do you mean?"

Severus blinked at the three who were looking at him in question. "Yeah, I stayed with your parents once before. When William was a newborn." He said.

"Why?" Ron shook his head.

"Well, they were friends of Albus. They had to um," he shrugged. "They took me away from my parents," his face was carefully blank.

"Why?" Ron asked, looking puzzled.

"My mum, you know, and my father, erm. He wasn't very nice to me." Severus shrugged nonchalantly. "Anyways. They were the only family Albus could find at the time. I stayed with them for like three or four years." He said. "Not really a big thing, though. They were very nice to me, but I guess I wasn't very trusting. I kept writing to them for a few years after I left, but it kind of stopped when I turned twenty or twenty-one." He said. "Right around when you were born, actually," he said. He grimaced. "Christ, now I feel old,"

"You don't look old," Hermione pointed out. He gave her a grimace. "Yes, very nice, Hermione," he said. "Just poke me with a stick, why don't you,"

Ron still looked confused. "But, I don't understand," he said. "What did your parents do?"

Harry and Hermione looked suddenly dark face. It seemed quite obvious to them, but child abuse didn't seem to be acknowledged in the wizarding world the way muggles acknowledged it.

"Well, let's see, Ron," Severus said. "What did you do with your dad when you were growing up? Like father-son activities?"

Ron looked confused, but he answered with, "Well, I don't know. We went fishing a few times, I guess. Sometimes we looked at muggle stuff, or tried to get muggle things working, like the yellophone,"

"Telephone," Hermione corrected him. He shrugged.

"You know, the normal stuff. Building birdhouses and whatnot," Ron smiled with the memory.

"Yeah?" Severus said. "What kind of things did you do with your mother?" he asked.

"Well, I used to help her with the garden," he said. "And we de-gnomed it a few times. Sometimes she would show me how to cook things. And she would take me to museums and art galleries. And a few times she took me to work with her. She used to be a chef, you know," he said. "Why?" he asked.

"Well, when I was growing up, my father-son activities were, getting ignored, getting yelled at, and getting beaten up. In that order. My mother-son activities were being ignored, being yelled at for getting yelled at by my father, and getting beaten up, in that order." He said. "Apparently it's not supposed to work that way." He said. "So they took me away from my parents. My other brothers were never treated that way, so they got to stay."

Hermione and Harry frowned, and Ron looked shocked. "But why?" he finally said. Severus sighed.

"You know, I've asked myself that a million times over, and I still don't know," he said. "I guess I was just a really bad kid, and they knew from the start. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I suppose." He shrugged.

"That's awful," Ron looked upset.

"That's what all the adults kept saying. But saying that doesn't really make a difference, except to irritate me, so please don't mind as I digress, please talk about something else." He said. He rubbed at the scar over his eye absently. He hadn't really noticed it for a while, but it was still there. Harry, Hermione, and Ron noticed this behavior, and turned back to their food. Harry sat for a moment awkwardly before beginning a conversation about Quidditch, to distract them from the uncomfortable issue.

Severus wasn't listening, though. He didn't like Quidditch anymore. He'd really only joined the team because of peer pressure, and he hadn't been very good, even then. It had been fun when he was playing, to hit the bludgers at people, particularly the Gryffindors. He hadn't, however, liked the pranks pulled on him by the rest of the Slytherin team or the constant teasing that questioned his sexuality. He couldn't count the number of times they had beaten him up for being 'bent', 'queer'. He frowned, his finger trailing over the scar a bit more. It had faded somewhat, he supposed. It wasn't really noticeable, but he supposed he always noticed things more than others.

He finally decided to push the unhappy thoughts from his mind. Things were different now. He had a friend, and somewhere to stay over the summer that shouldn't be terribly awful. Though it might cause some awkwardness staying in the same house or, god forbid, bedroom as Ron.

I think too much, he thought, and firmly pushed all the thoughts out of his head, turning to observe the vehement conversation between the redheaded boy and the boy-who-lived.

****