Chapter Ten: The Good-bye Girl

Hermione walked into the common room, her eyes trained on the floor. She didn't want to see the look of worry on any of their faces, though she knew that it was inevitable. A pair of arms wrapped around her hesitantly, and she leaned into them, willing herself to melt once more into his gentle heat. But when he pulled away moments later, the cold swept in again.

"I was worried. Sirius said he spoke to you earlier. I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean for..." She put her hand to his lips, stopping his apology before it truly began. She moved her hands so that one rested on each of his shoulders and brought her lips up to touch his once more. She felt his rest on her hips, and she wanted to smile. There were so many things she wanted to do.

She pulled back, regrettably, and looked into his stormy gray eyes. She could sense his confusion, and wanted to cry for him, but couldn't bring herself to do it. She ran her hand up his neck till it cupped his cheek and smiled sadly. This was a position they seemed familiar with, but to Hermione, every time was like the first.

He looked as if he wanted to speak, but she stopped him with another well-placed kiss. It didn't matter that all eyes were on the two of them, as they stood, in the center of the room, in such a private embrace. Finally, she pulled away and dropped her hands to her side, looking down at the floor solemnly.

"I've decided to go home."

She knew the words crushed him even as she spoke them, but she couldn't stop herself. After all, it was what she wanted, wasn't it? She had been after this for so long. What could be significant enough to stop her from reaching out and taking what she had longed for since that fateful day in November when she had awoken in the dungeons to find herself twenty years in the past? What could make her want to stay?

He bit his lip until she was sure he would draw blood, then looked at her despondently. "I had a feeling you would." He moved backward, putting distance between them, and motioned toward the couch by the fireplace.

She looked, seeing all of the same items from the original ritual set out in a circle. She turned to gaze at him once more, but his eyes were no longer hers. Instead, he was addressing all their housemates in the common room, looking everywhere but at her, like he had once before. "As your prefect, I would like to ask you to please go to your dormitories. We will be performing very complex magic here, with Dumbledore's permission of course, that I would rather not have you exposed to. I will inform you as to when you will be free to come down once more."

Hermione watched in surprise as all of the students got up and headed toward their rooms. All except James, Sirius, and Peter, of course. Sirius was looking at her with reproachful eyes. She sighed, feeling her own brimming with tears. This is your choice, yet you're still getting teary-eyed, a voice in her head sneered. She wiped her eyes with her hand, walking toward the fireplace, and the center of the circle.

"Stand there. You three," he said, motioning to James and the others, "just go over there so you don't get caught up in it."

Hermione looked at the three of them, wishing that one of them, any of them, would beg her to stay. But no one would, she realized. They all wanted her to do what was best, but was she? Was she truly doing what she felt was right in her heart?

Who cares what your heart thinks, she told herself. After all, she would be back in her own time, and soon she would forget that she had spent almost a school term in the company of Harry's father and his friends. She would forget all about the feelings she had had for her future Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and the fact that he had given her hope when she had none left herself. She would forget that for the first time in her life, she felt as if she had a place where she truly belonged. She would forget the way that his arms felt as he held her, and the way that the cold seeped into her when he let go. She would forget his kindness when no one else was there for her. She would forget the way that it felt to kiss him.

"I'll miss you, Hermione." She heard James call out. There seemed to be a wind in the room, though none of the windows were opened. Remus had started the incantation.

"I'll miss you too; James, Sirius, Peter," she paused, "Remus."

He didn't look at her, but continued the incantation as if she had never spoken. Only his eyes, those cool gray orbs, betrayed his feelings. They were overflowing with silent tears. She wanted to reach out to him, but she knew that it was impossible. He had started the incantation. It would all be over soon.

"Look us up in twenty years, won't you?" Sirius asked with a chuckle. "You never know, we could still be the handsome devils that we are now."

"I'll be sure to remember that." She had to shout over the wind now. it was surrounding them. Even though nothing stirred, the air was alive with the sound of it.

The room was bathed in a soft blue light, and she was beginning to get dizzy. I'm going home, she thought. But instead of being happy, she was completely emotionless.

Was this really what I wanted, she wondered. Looking at Remus, she felt a strong tug at her heart. He loved her. He loved her so much that he was sacrificing his happiness in order to please her. In order to send her home to a place where she wasn't even sure she wanted to be anymore.

Please, look up at me so I'll know, she pleaded with him silently, but it was of no use. He continued staring at the ground, saying the incantation as loudly and strongly as ever. Would he remember this in twenty years, she wondered. Or would Dumbledore perform a memory charm so things wouldn't be uncomfortable around them in the future. What would happen to her? Would he take away the memories of his face, his kiss?

"I don't want to forget," Hermione whispered, but the words fell on deaf ears. The wind was now so loud that she could feel the roar of it echoing throughout her body. Funny, she hadn't remembered this wind the last time.

"I don't want to forget!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, hoping someone would hear her and pull her out before it was too late. That's what I want, she realized. I want someone to rescue me from this, but no one will.

There was a look of sorrow and confusion on her face, and then Hermione moved.

The world around her went black.

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Author's Note: Yes this was short, but at least I'm getting the chapters out frequently. Yes, I borrowed the name from an episode of 'The O.C.', but it's fitting, wouldn't you say? I know this may seem like the end, but I swear, it isn't. Don't flame me yet!

A Preview of What's to Come: Hermione awakens.

Doesn't that just seem like one of those cryptic, soap opera teasers?