Disclaimer: I love everyone who responses to my last er…. Rant. Heh. And … I know, I know, I'm sorry about the delay :'( Please oh please forgive me! I was working around this crazy awful writer's block :-[] Oh yeah, and I don't own the Potterverse. That all goes to JK :)
SLYTHERIN BOYChapter Nineteen: Train of Pain
Severus scowled as they boarded the train. He had wasted the entire summer! Searching through books, catalogues, yearbooks, staff books, client information. He'd searched his every file and photo for a boy with green eyes. Ron frowned at the dark-haired boy as they clambered into the compartment. They had been trying to arrange for Harry and Hermione to visit over the summer, but it had turned out that they'd not been able to arrange it. Harry had made it, sure, but Hermione had been stuck at a summer job at her Library. Severus was determined to hold a grudge about it.
So while Harry and Ron had gallivanted about on the Weasley's spacious estate, Severus had stayed locked in his small, dark corner of the Weasley home, paging through yellowing, dusty tomes of faces from his University years. To no avail. He'd given up trying to discern between black and white photos of blue eyes and black and white photos of green eyes. There was no difference in the graying images.
And the summer had wiled away from him, slipping through his fingers like lime flavored gelatin. He refused to look at Hermione or Harry when they clambered into the train car.
"Severus!" Hermione said, hugging him, much to his surprise and chagrin. It was hard to keep a grudge when the friend in question was seemingly unaware of it. She took her seat next to him, as he glared out the window. She looked at him in puzzlement, before shrugging away his pensive behavior as frustration at being a student again.
They rode the train as normal, Harry, Ron, and Hermione chatting excitedly about the new year at Hogwarts. Severus, reminiscent of his own school years, sat quietly and stared out the window, seemingly unawares of the activity around him.
He began to get frustrated. Hermione wasn't even noticing that he wasn't talking to her. How could his so-called friend not even notice? He didn't know what to think anymore. First, the weird messages from God knows where, then the revelation that it wasn't even a potion that turned him back, and that they didn't know what it WAS that had done it, then he couldn't even see the one person who had kept him sane throughout the ordeal, and when he finally DID get to see her, she didn't even notice him!
"Bullshit!" He snarled loudly.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared at him. "What?" Harry said.
"No, really," Ron said. "The Cannons are really coming back this year…" He blinked cluelessly.
"You're all three of you just bull," Severus snapped. "Nothing about you is real, it's all just bullshit," he stood up.
"Apparently I can't rely on anything any of you say," he felt anger bubbling beneath his skin. "I can't believe you!" he snapped as he stormed out of the compartment.
****
Severus glared out the window of the bright red door. He knew that his explosion had seemed abrupt and seemingly random, but he really just didn't feel like going back to his "friends" yet. He couldn't rely on any of them for anything. What kind of friends were they?
He barely noticed as people walked by, whispering and staring at him as they did so. He worried the cuffs of his sweater as his breath clouded the chilled glass. There was a soft thump as he let his forehead drop against the cool glass, feeling unusually weary.
Two heavy hands grabbed him from behind. He jumped at the sudden grasp, only to feel the hands jerk his arms into a painful position in the small of his back. He kicked out blindly as he was yanked back to see Vincent Crabbe and Draco Malfoy step in front of him. Gregory Goyle's sneering face loomed over his shoulder. Severus was tall, but Goyle was taller, and made what seemed to be entirely of beef.
"Well, Well, Professor," Draco smirked pompously. Severus glared at him, jerking his arms in a feeble attempt to wrestle free from Goyle's fat fingers. Draco crossed his arms, tapping his fingers momentarily on his jawbone, a haughty, almost aristocratic look on his face.
"What the hell do you want, fuck-wit?" Severus snarled.
"Ooh, temper, temper, my dark haired friend," Draco said.
"A Malfoy is no friend of mine," Severus hissed.
"Hah, that may very well be true," Draco smirked again, his pale face looking snakelike in the dimming light of dusk. "I heard something interesting recently, Snape," Draco leaned against the door that Severus had previously been staring out of.
"I don't give a damn what you heard, you fucker," Severus growled. "Let the fuck go," He struggled in Goyle's grasp, only to be overpowered by the angle and strength that Goyle had his arms pinned in.
"Ah, but it was a very interesting bit about you," Draco grinned toothily. "Any guesses?"
Severus paused, before he hissed, "Let go of me," He struggled again. "I'll have you expelled,"
"I heard," Draco leaned in very close to Severus's face. He could feel the blond boy's moist breath on his skin. "That you were an arse-bandit," he got a delightedly malicious look on his face.
Severus's heart skipped a beat. "What?" He felt himself going pale. "Where'd you hear that?"
"I'm not naming any names, but I learned it from a very reliable source," Draco had the look of someone prepared to blackmail or harass another with very valuable and sensitive information.
"Who?" Severus snarled. His voice cracked.
"It's true isn't it? Well, it certainly explains a few things. I never really thought about it until I was told this. But when I think about it, you are somewhat… Nancy," Draco gave a hiss of a laugh.
"You piece of shit," Severus felt his ears burning red. He kicked towards Draco, but Draco simply nodded, and Goyle pulled him back too far to reach Draco.
"But you should know, now, Snape," Draco cocked his head mockingly. "I don't really like disgusting queers," He sneered again. "I also heard that not only are you, say, batting for the other team, but that you bat for the Gryffindor team," Draco got a disgusted look on his face. "How much more of a disgrace to Slytherin could you be?"
"Shut the fuck up, Malfoy. Thedisgrace to Slytherin is any blond son-of-a-bitch from the Malfoy family," Severus snapped. He was surprised by the firm crunch of Crabbe's knuckles slamming into his cheekbone. The affected area began to throb immediately. Severus stared in shock as Crabbed cracked his knuckles threateningly.
"I won't have a brown hatter talking to me that way," Draco said.
"For a hetero you sure know a lot of terms for homosexual," Severus said, ignoring the pain in his face.
"Yes, well, I learned from a master," Draco sneered. "Father was always good at insults."
Severus laughed bitterly. "Your father? D'you have any idea how many men I've seen him fuck?"
Draco's face went still. Anger radiated from his entire body, his fists clenched so that you could barely see anything but white from his knuckles. "Lies!" He snarled. "How dare you spew such filth about my father! Crabbe!"
Severus barely had time to think before the large, meaty boy was on him, pummeling his face and torso with his fists. Severus felt hot blood streaming from his nose and mouth to scald the pale skin of his face. When finally the fists stopped flying ,he opened one eye. The other eye had already swollen shut. He saw Draco's face come in very close to his.
"You're very lucky I didn't have Crabbe kill you for that disgusting fucked gay comment about my father. If it hadn't meant my expulsion, you would be dead," Draco said softly.
"You wish," Severus snarled, his speech muddled by his split lip. "Get the fuck out of my face,"
A small spray of blood hit Draco's vampire pale cheek. He smirked slightly, taking his index finger and wiping the crimson droplets from his cheek. A trace of pink was still on his cheekbone where he had smeared it. "Or what? You'll send your gagging-for-it Gryffindor ginger after me?"
Severus felt a sudden unexplainable rage at hearing Ron addressed in such a way. He shifted his weight back on his arms, ignoring the shooting pain sent through his arms and shoulders from the angle. He pulled his feet off the floor and kicked Draco in the chest with all of the strength he possessed.
Draco wheezed as the kick forced the air from his lungs, and flew backwards to slam against the train door. Severus had used more strength than he'd expected, and he felt the icy chill of complete horror as the metal latch on the door bent and snapped off. The door flew open, filling the train with the almost overbearing sound of wind. Draco hurled out through the open door, landing on his head on the grass. They heard a sick crack beneath the wind and watched as Draco's limp body rolled down the hill. Severus's captor released his arms. He felt himself slump to the floor in disbelief. Blood ran down his neck to be soaked warmly into the neck of his sweater. He was almost amused by the fact that whenever something horrible was happening to him, he noticed to small, insignificant things.
Goyle and Crabbe stared dumbly. Goyle jumped towards the door, and grabbed ahold of the edge. The wind blew his curly hair wildly as his wide eyes stared at the lump in the grass that was Malfoy.
"Draco!" Goyle cried hoarsely, hanging halfway out the flapping door. Crabbe stared in shock and fear at Severus; He was sitting in a small, trembling pile on the floor, staring out the broken door at the quickly vanishing pile of robes in the grass.
Crabbe bolted down the hall.
****
The train was slowed to a halt almost instantly. Professors that rode the train to 'keep the peace' swarmed throughout the compartments, keeping the students in their places. Severus was still staring blankly, unable to will himself to move. His hands were shaking violently, and it wasn't until he felt a hand on his shoulder that he jerked violently away. His hand covered his face and he whispered "Oh my God," as McGonagall hoisted him to a standing position.
"Severus," she said, her voice shaking. "What happened?"
"I kicked him," Severus said. "I kicked him and the door broke and he's dead, oh my god, I killed him, oh god," he murmured.
"Draco Malfoy?" McGonagall asked carefully.
"Oh my God!" Severus cried. He crumpled to the floor again, his hands covering his face and pulling at his hair. "Oh my god I murdered him, oh my god, I killed Draco Malfoy, I kicked him right out of the train,"
"He fell out?" McGonagall's face was white. She pointed to Professor Vector, who promptly walked from the train into the waist-deep grass, apparently to find the boy in question.
"He didn't fall out of the fucking train," Severus's shoulders shook. "I fucking kicked him out of the fucking train!" He shouted, his voice thick. "I fucking killed him! I fucking… I…" His face turned white as he saw Vector hustling back to the door. She exchanged quick, hushed words with McGonagall. He caught the words "My God, Minerva, I checked for vitals and there's nothing, he's just… laying there… it looks like his neck broke,"
He stared in horror as McGonagall looked back to him with a veiled expression of horror.
"I… I… am… a monster… a murderer…" He heard himself say as if from very far away.
He felt dizzy. Black spots danced at his eyes. He saw but didn't feel his head hit the floor, before everything went black.
****
A/N: Woah! I really wasn't expecting that. Wow. I guess that's what one does to get over a writer's block :-D… I'm mixed between Sympathy for Draco and sympathy for Severus. It was accidental, really…