Disclaimer: I'm making lots and lots of money off this. I am exploiting people into believing that I, myself, am JK Rowling and selling this stupid fanfiction for a hefty sum. Wait… no, I'm not.
SLYTHERIN BOY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: Razorblade Kiss
Hermione stared suspiciously at Ron and Severus, who had burst into Potions late, together, looking disheveled. They had already missed three classes, and she knew from Harry's worrying that Ron hadn't shown up in the dormitory the night before. Seeing them enter together had filled her head with unwholesome images that she quickly banished, before beginning to speculate on what had really happened.
Of course, they had both been sufficiently scolded by Professor Jericho, and received a one hour detention for the evening. Once again, Severus has whisked through the lesson while the rest of the students struggled with Jericho's mediocre explanation of it. He had sat thoughtfully, staring blankly at the board as the Professor sent him glances mixed in annoyance and concern.
The class ended soon enough, and the students filed out of the room. They seemed to be avoiding Severus, but Hermione, Ron, and Harry shot them glares and stuck stubbornly by him as he spidered down the corridor.
"You know," Severus's soft voice said edgily. "You needn't walk so close to me, Potter,"
Harry felt a flare of annoyance at the boys ungrateful behavior, before catching a glance from Hermione and taking a few steps away from Severus. He scowled noticing that Ron was walking closer to Severus than he had been.
So close, in fact, that he could see Ron's freckled fingers brushing against Severus's long, elegant hands. He felt his eyebrows jump as he saw Severus move his fingers to give a small, caressing touch against Ron's palm. Apparently, Ron was as surprised, as a red blush crept up from the collar of his robes. Harry shook his head, a slight protectiveness coming over him at having his ex-professor touching his best friend in such an innocently intimate way.
As they reached the Great Hall, though, all thoughts of Ron and Severus vanished from his head at the sight of the feast laid out for them.
****
Dumbledore had said that he felt the school needed some time to heal and that one way he'd found people healed better was with a warm hearth and a satisfied stomach. He informed them that every day for the following two weeks there would be a feast either for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
There would have been a cheer for the idea if it hadn't been given because of such a somber occasion. Even the students who hadn't liked Draco had been shocked by his death. It was one thing to have a student die at the hands of the dark lord. Draco's death, however, was at the hands of three of their classmates. Accidentally, sure, but nonetheless, it gave them an uneasy feeling.
Severus ate in silence, barely acknowledging the people around him. He was dreadfully conscious of eyes on him as he swallowed his food. He felt intense nervousness as he sat. He glanced up, staring at the rest of the table. His eyes were large, his face somewhat hollow looking. He looked like a deer in the headlights. Hermione noticed a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead.
"Severus?" Hermione said apprehensively. For an instant his eye gleamed a pale, sorrowful blue before blinking back to black. Hermione was shocked slightly, unsure of what she had just seen.
"Did you see that?" Hermione asked.
"What?" Severus said.
"Yeah, I saw it," Seamus said slowly.
"What?" Severus snapped, uncomfortable. Ron glanced over. He didn't know what they were talking about.
"You're eyes," Seamus said. "They changed color for a moment," he swallowed, looking puzzled. "Turned blue,"
"Just the one," Hermione said. "It wasn't both of them. It was just one."
Ron frowned. "You must be seeing things," he said, with a strong glance at Hermione. She seemed to get that it was a subject best left alone. Ron had watched as Severus had applied the concealing charm on his eye in the train, but it felt like so long ago that he hadn't really thought about the mismatched irises.
Hermione wondered, for the hundredth time, what had happened that summer. Ron and Severus both seemed quite changed, and she wasn't really sure of the details of what had happened. She was unhappy that Severus seemed angry, detached. The worst thing that she sensed was that he seemed scared. She had never known Severus to be openly frightened about anything, and perhaps he didn't realize that he seemed that way. All she knew was that he seemed terrified to the bone.
****
Severus looked up as the figure approached.
"Severus," said the familiar voice. He scowled.
"What do you want?" he snapped. Lupin sat down in the armchair across from him.
"Shouldn't you be in a class right now?" Lupin questioned, frowning slightly.
"I graduated twenty years ago, Lupin, I hardly think it necessary to attend every class on the schedule. With those dimwits and bastards,"
"Did something happen?" Lupin wondered.
"Yes, something happened. On the train. I killed someone. I think that I have a right to sit out if I'm not feeling up to the class at the moment." Severus snapped.
"Severus, everyone understands that it was an accident." Lupin said honestly.
"Yes, they understand it, but you know what they think when they look at me? They think 'that guy murdered someone.' It doesn't matter if they can reason the blame away from me. The fact is, I have Malfoy's blood on my hands, and it will never, ever go away." Severus was shaking slightly as he spoke.
"Severus, people aren't thinking that when they look at you," Lupin said. "I promise. I don't think that when I look at you, and I doubt that anyone else does either."
"Then why are they always staring at me? Their eyes haven't been off me since the train arrived. They stare because of their morbid fascination and paranoia about the fact that I killed one of their classmates. For what? Calling me a queer. Good reasoning, huh?"
"We know that that's not what happened, Severus. We know he was threatening you and that he assaulted you beforehand. None of it is your fault."
"Shows how much you know." Severus hissed.
They sat in silence for a few moments. The library was mostly deserted save a few ambling first years who were studying.
"Are you saying it was intentional?" Lupin asked.
"Of course not, what do you take me for?" Severus narrowed his eyes.
"If it wasn't intentional, then it wasn't your fault." Remus reasoned.
"That's where you're wrong. I kicked him through the door, it's my fault."
Lupin sighed. "Whatever you say, Severus. I don't know why I try to talk to you sometimes. You really have it in your head that you never want to be comforted by anyone." He frowned and stood up.
"What should I need comforting for? At least I'm not a Werewolf."
Lupin flinched, before turning sharply at Severus. "What would you know about it, anyways? Really mature, there, Severus, cutting me down about something I can't even control or help. If you wanted people to treat you like an adult, perhaps you should start acting like one, instead of like the immature, selfish brat that you are!"
He turned and shuffled out of the library.
Severus scowled. It had been a low blow, and he knew it as he'd done it. There was just something about Lupin that aggravated him, and he didn't really care what it was. All he knew was that it was annoying, and that he would do anything to make Lupin go away as soon as possible. Including being an immature, selfish brat.
****
Severus ambled into the potions room, seeing Ron already there for their detention. Professor Jericho entered moments later, frowning at the two of them. She thrust at them buckets with wiry scrub brushes in them. She pointed to the sinks in the corner.
"Fill these up with soap and water. Then get to scrubbing the graffiti off the desks. No magic, or you'll find yourselves scrubbing the floors and scraping gum, too." She said sharply. Ron had a gloomy face as he and Severus began to fill the buckets.
She shot them a glance as they set to scrubbing the graffiti, before disappearing into the office. She left the door open a crack so she could hear if they were using spells, but apparently she felt herself above supervising them as they worked.
They scrubbed in silence, feeling slightly awkward as they thought about the night before.
"Severus…" Ron said finally. Severus jumped slightly, knocking his bucket over. Soapy water spilled all over the table and floor, soaking the cuffs of his shirtsleeves and sending the bucket rolling with a clang onto the floor.
"Damn you, look what you made me do," Severus sighed. He kneeled down, reaching under the table to get the bucket. Ron kneeled and picked up the scrubber that Severus had set down.
They looked at each other for a moment, before Ron suddenly moved forward, his knees brushing against Severus's legs as he brought his face in close. Ron's fiery hair brushed against Severus's forehead, mingling with Severus's own black locks as the boy drew closer. He smelled like soap.
Severus inhaled slightly as Ron pushed that fraction closer, his hands coming up to tangle in Severus's hair as he kissed him long and hard. Severus felt the warmth of Ron's body and the gentleness of his moth and sank into the warm affection, feeling all of his worries and thoughts vanish beneath the surprisingly skilled mouth of the redhead.
He let his fingers wander tantalizingly over Ron's robes and uniform as Ron moved to Severus's neck, enjoying the earthy, herb-filled smell of the pale boy. Severus let a small sound of appreciation escape as he laced his fingers into Ron's bright hair. He closed his eyes as the boy tasted his skin, before the office door creaked open. Severus's eyes opened and he glanced hazily over, before jumping at the stunned figure of Jericho.
"W-What is going on here?!" She said, gathering her composure. Ron looked up from his position, sprawled across Severus's form.
Ron frowned at her, his head still in the crook of Severus's neck.
"I asked you a question!" She snapped.
"What does it look like?" Severus snarled. He felt Ron shiver against him.
"It looks like a former professor was about to shag an underage student in the middle of a classroom with another professor in the next room!" She said.
Severus blinked. It had been a long time since he had felt like a former professor. He had felt like a child again, and apparently had somehow accepted and come to terms with it.
"Not quite." Severus said, his thoughts racing. "Weasley thought he saw a mark on my neck and was investigating it." He said blandly.
"Investigating it with his tongue?" Jericho hissed.
"Yes." Severus said.
"Get out of my classroom, both of you!" She finally snapped. "Forget it! Get out of here. If you're late to class again I will skin you alive!"
Ron and Severus picked themselves up from the floor and walked out of the classroom. Severus said nothing to Ron as they walked in silence.
"I don't want you to do that anymore." Severus said. Ron looked at him, startled.
"…Why?" he asked.
"It doesn't work. I can't do this. You are very young. Go find a young boy to be with." Severus gave a wave of his hand.
"You're the same as me right now," Ron said.
"Well then I just don't like you." Severus snapped. Ron got a hurt look on his face, before he covered it with anger.
"Fine! You're such a liar, I hate you!" he said angrily. "And you're a tease, too! What's wrong with you?"
"I'm a bastard," Severus said. "I thought you already knew that?" he sneered.
Ron got an indignant look, before turning and storming off. "Fuck you," he muttered as he left. Severus watched him go, before sinking back against the wall. He leaned his head against the cold stone, his dark hair shielding his features from view.
He stood up quietly, a soft resolve in the way he held his shoulders. He turned into the nearest boys lavatory. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment. His face was thin and his eyes haunted. He didn't like that haunted look. He slipped his hands into his pockets, frowning and looking down before rolling his sleeves up and washing his hands and face slowly and methodically.
****
Ron, Hermione, and Harry sat at the table. Harry looked at Ron. "Where's Severus?" he asked.
"How'm I supposed to know?" Ron snapped. "I'm not his nanny."
"But you saw him last, right? You had that detention with him last night." Hermione said carefully.
"Yeah, but how would I know where he is this morning? That's none of my business. Maybe he's just skipping breakfast because he's a jerk." Ron snapped.
"Wow, keep your pants on Ron, I was just wondering. You don't have to act like I'm interrogating you."
"Well, I don't know where he is!" Ron snapped.
Harry scowled and shot a glance at Hermione. She just lifted her eyebrows into a facial shrug.
****
"Christ!" Blaise Zabini burst into the Potions room. Professor Jericho looked up at the panicked boy.
"What is it, Blaise?" she asked.
"He… In the boys lavatory…" He said. His hazel eyes were wide, his dark skin flushed.
"Show me," She said, recognizing that the boy was beyond words. She followed him to the lavatory, walking into the strangely clean room. He pointed to a stall. She saw a pair of black-clad feet from below the door, and saw a streak of red across the floor where they were. She felt suspicious.
"I looked in… he wasn't answering, I wanted to make sure he was alright… he's…" Blaise stammered.
"Go get Professor McGonagall," She said sternly. He nodded and bolted the room. Lila pushed the door slightly. It opened a small bit and she saw another red streak on the blue painted wall. She swallowed, and opened the door all the way.
"Severus!" She said. He was sitting on the toilet with the lid down. His sleeves were pushed up past his elbows, his arms looking torn to bits. The wrists were slashed open. A bloody razorblade lay on the floor near his feet. He was covered in blood, his head tilted back to rest on the water tank.
When McGonagall arrived, they set about carting him to the hospital wing.
****
Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared nervously at Dumbledore. He was sitting behind his massive wood desk, looking at them thoughtfully.
"Do you think Severus Snape is under a lot of mental strain?" He said, suddenly. They looked at him in surprise. They were sure that he was going to give them some horrible news, or that he had found out something and they were in big trouble.
"Uh… sir?" Ron asked.
Dumbledore gave a weary sigh. "Have you noticed that Severus has been feeling under a lot of pressure, or strain?"
"Well, sure. He's been having trouble dealing with the whole… Draco thing." Hermione said.
"Did you know that he cuts himself?" Dumbledore asked quietly. Ron and Hermione exchanged a glance.
"What do you mean, sir?" Harry asked.
"With a razorblade? Did you know?" Dumbledore looked up at them. His eyes were sad.
"We knew he used to," Hermione said. "We weren't aware that he was doing it now…"
"Blaise Zabini found him in the bathroom near the Potions Classroom this morning." Dumbledore said simply. "He'd been there all night, apparently. He was not dead, but he was unconscious. There were self-inflicted wounds all up and down his arms."
Ron blinked, his face chalk white.
"Is he okay?" He asked.
"He… will be. Physically. We don't know what has triggered this… event. Professor Jericho has informed me of something that happened at his detention last night which might be relevant, however," Dumbledore looked pointedly at Ron, who's face went even whiter.
"You don't think that caused this, do you?" Ron said.
"No, son, no we don't think it was your fault in the least. But I would like to talk to you… privately." Dumbledore said.
"Then why are we here?" Harry asked.
"As his friends, we thought it was important that you knew what had happened. Hermione and Harry, you are free to go. I would like to speak with Ron privately for awhile."
"O-Okay," Hermione said. She looked quite distressed. Harry put an arm around her in comfort as the two of them left.
"Mr. Weasley… just what is the nature of your relationship with Severus?" Dumbledore began.
****
A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this up. I have been working on it for awhile but I never seemed to get around to finishing it. Sorry : (