But you deserve to be loved
You deserve something real
It's time to heal, time to feel... love
(Tracy Dawn - You Deserve to be Loved)
Chapter Fourteen: Remembrance
Hermione bound down the stairs. She was late for breakfast, and she knew that by now, Molly would know she hadn't gone to bed that night. She sighed, wishing that she would have had more time to figure out what she wanted to say to all of them, some good argument that would allow them to see how much Remus meant to her.
As she burst in through the kitchen door, seven sets of eyes flashed over toward her. Hermione smiled and said, "Good morning," to all the people present. She blushed under their scrutiny, taking a seat between one of the twins and Harry.
"We lost you last night, Hermione. It seems like you walked in the door and then just disappeared."
Hermione stiffened at Arthur's comment. Any hope of them not knowing flickered and died. "We put your trunk in your bedroom, but Harry and Ron told me this morning that you didn't show up last night. Did you get lost in the dark corridors, dear?" Molly asked, setting a plate of food down in front of her.
She looked at it, noticing the burn mark scarred onto its surface. It brought back memories of a slightly happier time, when Sirius was still alive. His death had never hurt her so much, but today, it felt as if her heart was breaking all over again. She had known and loved him in her way, and he was gone. The door opened again, and this time, Remus walked into the kitchen. The last of the Marauders.
Hermione sighed, which apparently did not go unnoticed by those closest to her. George looked at her quizzically, and Harry with worry. "I'm fine," she muttered, picking up her fork and pushing a sausage across her plate. She glanced to the head of the table, the spot she hadn't noticed before, and saw Albus Dumbledore staring back at her with a knowing smile. She threw him a quick smile, then turned away.
Looking across from her, Hermione noticed that Remus had taken the empty seat on the opposite side of the table. He was flanked by Ginny and Ron, who appeared to be arguing over his head about something. He caught her eye and smiled shyly, looking away as Molly called his name.
"Remus! It's lovely to see you dear. Did you have a nice rest?"
Hermione noticed that he blushed a little at her question. "It was lovely, Molly. Thank you for asking." His gaze became transfixed on the food on his plate, and Hermione almost laughed out loud at the way he was working on controlling his breathing. She never realized he would get so worked up about this.
"Did you happen to see where Hermione went last night? Apparently she got lost in the dark because the boys claimed she wasn't in her room at all." If it was possible, his blush deepened tremendously.
"I uhh... what I mean is... it's just that..."
Hermione would have smiled if the situation wasn't so serious. She looked up at Mrs. Weasley, her heart pounding in her chest.
There was a laugh from the end of the table, and everyone turned to look at Dumbledore curiously. "I believe what Remus means to say, and what Hermione is too afraid to say, is that she was with him last night." He looked at the two of them. "Am I correct in that assumption, Miss Granger?"
Hermione nodded timidly, watching as six sets of mouths fell open. Ron was the first to speak, his face bright red, though Hermione wasn't sure if it was with jealousy or embarrassment. "Hermione, are you mental? He's our professor."
She cleared her throat, noticing the fear in Remus's eyes. After all, he was sitting beside Ron. "Actually, Ron, he hasn't been our professor for some time now."
The rest of the table sat there in stunned silence. Dumbledore was smiling merrily, while Ron sat fuming. Harry just looked at her with a helpful smile, but she could see the shock in his eyes. Ginny was blushing furiously, while Fred and George were cracking jokes and making sarcastic remarks about her and the professor.
"Hermione's sure to get straight Outstandings now."
"As if that were ever an issue."
Arthur and Molly were at the end of the table, talking quietly about what all of this meant, and Remus sat, motionless, staring down at his plate. His cheeks were a decidedly bright shade of pink, and Hermione could tell his breathing was shallow with nervousness.
Harry turned to her, whispering softly. "I think it's great for you, Hermione. I'm sure Ron will come around eventually. You know how he can be when it comes to romance and all that. Just be careful. He is a bit older than you, you know."
"As if I could forget. The thing of it is, Harry..." She was cut off though when Dumbledore stood.
"I can imagine that you all have feelings to sort through in regards to this," he looked between Remus and Hermione, "new information. Please, understand that time changes everything." Hermione couldn't be sure, but she thought she detected a hint of sorrow and loss in the older man's eyes.
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Her sixth year at Hogwarts passed in a blur. She threw herself into her class work, getting 'Outstandings' on all of her tests. Few people noticed a change in her, but it was always there. She had been through a lot in the past year, and had emerged all the better for it, she thought.
Ron had come around shortly after arriving back at school, just as Harry said he would. She understood completely. She would have been shocked if he had announced that he was dating one of their ex-professors. Ginny had explained her blush that day, but said that she didn't have a problem with it, though she still blushed a bit whenever the topic was broached.
Hermione saw Remus during every Hogsmeade weekend, disappearing for hours with him in the many shops and eateries where they could find some time alone. He told her of the Order's business, while she kept him informed about the comings and goings of her schoolmates.
Hermione was always worried that he would realize what a mistake he was making. She knew that what they were doing was probably wrong in many ways, but she couldn't help it. She had fallen in love with a boy once, and she had lost him, but fate had given her, given them, a second chance. She counted her blessings every day that he had decided to take it. She had no way of knowing what twenty years of longing for her had done to him, but she understood the changes that had occurred in him since she had known him then.
"'Mione, c'mon. Everyone's about to leave and we're going to be late," Ron said, pulling her from her thoughts.
She smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks, Ron. I probably would have never noticed." It was late May, and their sixth year was almost over. More importantly though, it was a Hogsmeade weekend. She was going to see Remus.
As if he was reading her mind, Harry grinned at her knowingly. "I wonder what 'mione's going to be up to when she gets down there. Heading out for a drink this time, or just going to the book shop to snog?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, Harry. We could do that anywhere." She sighed, looking at her two best friends lovingly. "Listen you two, I'm so thankful that you're understanding. It's just... this is a difficult situation, and most people wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm just glad that I have you two to share it all with."
Ron shrugged, as he was known to do when things got too emotional, but Harry smiled at her warmly. "It's nothing. Hermione, nothing at all." His smirk turned devilish, and he suddenly reminded her of James even more. "I just can't believe you're snogging our professor."
Hermione looked around, clearly paranoid. "I am not snogging any of our professors," she said in a low voice. Harry smirked once more, and Hermione rolled her eyes, as she had become accustom to doing. "You are such a child at times."
"We can't all grow up so quickly. I'll leave that to you," he said simply, and the discussion was done. Soon, he and Ron were chattering about Quidditch again, as Hermione drifted along beside them, walking the path to Hogsmeade but never really seeing the scenery. She was going to see Remus again.
For a little while, she could pretend that she had never left the past. She could pretend that James, Lily, and Sirius were all safe and happy, and that Peter had never betrayed them.
But in the end, it was just pretend.
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Author's Note: I hate filler chapters, but that's mostly what this is. I just had to work in their reactions before the last real chapter. That's right, I'm not playing tricks, there's only one chapter and the epilogue/afterword left. Pay close attention to the afterword when it's published. This story may be almost done, but the adventure is far from over.
Lunar Sphinx - Thanks for the book suggestion. I'll have to check my library for it.
Spinx Class of 2008 - Thanks for the suggestion. I did, in fact, raise the rating a bit.
To everyone else - Thank you so much for all the support you've given me throughout the writing of this fic. I'm so grateful for every positive remark you have given me during the past few days.