Authors Note: This is a one shot fic that takes place in the first few episodes of Birds of Prey.
Musings of An Oracle
Seven years.
Seven long years in which I've experienced all the sorrow, hatred, and destruction that one vengeful bullet can bring. It seems more like a dream now. A horrible nightmare that's all too vivid. It's only when I try to get up and run away from these images that I realize they're real. I can run....only hide.
I've spent hours...days staring at my old costume hanging in its case. After all that's happened though, I have no regrets. Can't say the same for Bruce. I know he blames himself for this...for letting me become his protégé. I could never regret becoming Batgirl. It's who I am. Was. If we must place blame, the Joker stands alone. His madness only seeks to destroy.
And destroy he has.
Batgirl is gone forever.
How utterly empty I felt after that fateful night. It was like my very essence had been ripped to shreds. No more purpose. Nothing left. I even contemplated suicide once.
For about a second.
Suicide was the easy way out, and I would never let myself be so defeated...so weak. A long while of dealing with my own personal identity crisis led me on a path of self discovery.
Just after Bruce left, I thought New Gotham was doomed. With no Batman to fight the evil crime lords and maniacs that loomed in the shadows, they could take the opportunity to create a criminal empire. I realized that I could be a means of stopping them. I couldn't fight them the same way as before, but I decided to use my advanced hacking skills to my advantage. Fighting the good fight from my home computer.
And so Oracle was born.
But it wasn't the same as flying across the rooftops with my cape billowing in the wind. At least then I felt free. Now I'm trapped in this cursed chair. I used to feel so alone. And then a girl by the name of Helena Kyle ended up on my front steps. A girl whose life had been shattered just like mine had.
Damn you Joker.
Maybe I was living vicariously though her. Maybe not. But she's become a formidable crimefighter in her own right after I trained her. In retrospect, it was perhaps a dangerous thing to do. Inwardly, she thirsts for vengeance...to find the man that killed Selena. Giving Helena such power could get her or someone else killed.
Or maybe it saved her life. The discipline and structure gave her an outlet for her pent up emotions. It turned something so negative, into something that can do good.
I know it saved my life. It was good to have a sense of purpose again, and friendship. I could have entirely lost myself in my work. And in its own way, that would have been a death in and of itself. Helena and I have been quite the pair. Two broken souls trying to find a place in this dark world.
And then just as things had become set and routine, Dinah showed up. She took following one's dreams to a whole new, quite literal level. With her own tragic past, and a strong mind of her own, she's become part of our family as well. Her cheery attitude really brightened things up. It threw Helena and I for a bit of a loop at first, but in the end, we landed up in a better place than before.
Seven years. Maybe my past will catch up with me someday, and I won't be able to hide from it. But when I look at my newfound family and what we've become, I've realized something....
I won't have to.