Kisses
Okay. This is a true story, mostly about me. I am very shy when it comes to kissing guys, and I mean SHY! My first boyfriend, mostly pecks. Only 4 times did I actually truly kiss him. We never made out either. Now my NEW BETTER boyfriend, I guess I'll call him that, yeah I will, kiss me last night (6/24/04) and I, like most of the time, giggled, blushed, and hugged him. Maybe that's why my relationship with my first boyfriend went down the drain. Bah! He was too short anyway!
This will be from Videl's point of view, actually mine, when she kisses Gohan for the first time, actually mine. It will mostly be based on my kissing problems and told by me, but since this is fanfiction it will be told by Videl. See, I really like this guy, and if he remembers CrazyGohanGurl and reads it, MAYBE HE'LL UNDERSTAND WHY I AM SO SHY ABOUT KISSING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I need help. We all know that we are poor, and have nothing better to do than type fanfiction. Sure we can make are own anime, but who says that it's going to be popular like Dragonball Z? I had no sugar today, and I'm very grumpy. Well, here goes!
ONE SHOT FIC!
Okay here's my problem. I like this guy named Gohan, and in return he likes me. You see, the problem is that we've been going out for about...a week I guess, and my lips are dying to be one his. When it comes to that I tend to hug the big guy, and hide my face in his shirt. I know he wants to kiss me, and I really want to kiss him! Sometimes at night, I almost die for his feathery soft lips on mine. I wake up to realize that I want it bad, but too shy to actually do it.
I had a boyfriend before. It lasted about eight months, no I never slept with the guy, and his final farewell was: "I just want to be alone." A week later, he had a new girlfriend. I was depressed, and promised myself to never fall in love again. It hurt too much, and the pain was almost unbearable. But then I met Gohan.
I didn't know him very well at first. He hung around Sharpener most of the time, and I just followed. Sharpener was my friend also, but not really close friend. I knew him from Marching Band, I was color guard, and hung around with him at times. (I'm going off the subject.)
When I was down, it took a while to realize that he wasn't mine anymore, Gohan was there by my side. I didn't eat, (he bought me food that I never ate) I didn't speak, (he didn't push the subject) and I cried to bed every night. (There was nothing that he could do about that)
Two days before my breakup I got my $259 dollar prom dress. I was very disappointed when I realized that I probably wouldn't be wearing a prom dress, and it was my senior year. I guess I rushed the whole prom thing because not too long later, I ask a friend to go to the prom with me. He said yes, but then I had a change of mind. I told him that my friend had a boyfriend, and he broke up with her. She took it hard, and wanted me to go to the prom with her. My plan worked, but now I didn't have a prom date. I had my friend going so I thought that I would go with her. Prom was solved, but my heart was still broken.
I borrowed my older brother's CD called "Tantric." I listened to a song over and over again for about a month. It helped me, strangely enough. One part of the song really touched me, and it helped me some.
"Then you conned me into thinking
That all I had was you
The small institutions
Were cutting me through
Cutting me through
Now I stand alone here looking
Stronger than before
And I'll never go back
Never go back
Never go..."
After a while, Gohan began to sit at our table. We talked a lot, and then I started thinking...
'Hm, this guy helped me through my hard times. He's different from the other guys. He acts as if he...cares for me? Nah, that can't be true. I don't want to 'fall in love' again. He's just going to hurt me, just like the last one.'
Then I thought:
'Well, he is kinda cute.'
Before I knew it, I was having head vs. heart wars. My head kept on telling me to not like Gohan, and that I was going to get hurt again. My heart, on the other hand, kept on saying that it had a hole in it. It wanted the hole to be filled, and only Gohan could fill that whole. I screamed in my pillow.
Prom did come sooner than I thought. My feelings for Gohan soon grew stronger than before. I realized that I now had a crush on him. I guess my heart won the battles after all. We've decided, Gohan, Erasea, and I, that we would all walk down the Promenade together. So there we were, the three of us walking down the long, red carpet. I just prayed that I would fall; I did not know how to walk in high heels. Now a brief moment of our clothes.
Erasea was wearing an orange prom dress with thin straps. Her hair was pulled up, but I don't remember what kind of shoes she was wearing. I was wearing a blue dress with a beaded pattern from my chest down. I had no straps on mine; I always wanted a dress like that, and silver shoes. (Now for Gohan!) He had on a black tuxedo with a silver vest. His tie was also silver and had on black dress shoes. His hair was perfect, like it always is, and he stood firm and tall.
Gohan and his father bought a limo. I never have been in a limo before so I couldn't help but touch everything. I sat next to Gohan the whole time with the A/C going up my dress. I mostly looked out the window while everyone else talked. Ashley and Dave, a friend of both Erasea and I, were also with us, and sat at our table.
At prom, they mostly played rap music. I could not dance, and I didn't bother to try either. Slow music began to play and I stayed seated. I was hoping that Gohan would as to dance with me. So I hoped, and hoped, and hoped, until rap music began to play once more.
I was a bit disappointed. I started thinking to myself.
'What if he doesn't feel the same way as I do?'
Then I knew why I didn't want to be with anyone. I didn't want to be heartbroken, and if I really liked this guy, but he didn't like me, then I would feel rejected. Gohan and I did talk, but I was trying to figure out my feelings, right on prom night none the less.
Ashley saw Gohan and me just sitting there when slow music began to play once again. I played around with a napkin trying, pretending to be distracted, that is, until Ashley said:
"Gohan, why don't you ask Videl to dance?"
I turned red, bright red! I really hoped that my make-up would hide my red cheeks, or at least the napkin I was holding. I did face Gohan, however, and he did, after all, ask me to dance. We mostly stayed around the table, safer much safer, but he kept on stepping on my feet. I didn't mind; he did have big feet.
I couldn't look up at him when we danced. I would laugh, for no reason what- so-ever. I looked like a retard so I placed my head on his shoulder. He was warm, and I haven't felt warmth like that before. My ex, he wasn't as warm as Gohan; something about him, that Gohan.
After prom we went to dinner, at one in the morning. I had a cappuccino. That's about it.
The next day we went to Six Flags. We all, Gohan, Erasea, and I, had sunburn. It was nice having Gohan around, and I smiled at him...when he wasn't looking. Sure, sometimes we would look at each other, but I'm the one to usually say "what?" What I really want to say is "I like you." Never happened.
One day, Gohan, Erasea and I planned to go bowling then to dinner. We never made it though, because a cop hit my car. I had my car for about a month, and now I don't have one anymore. Gohan sat in the back without his seatbelt. We were all fine though, thank goodness.
The nest day I was depressed. I lost my car, and I could have lost my friends. (Especially the one I liked) I didn't talk much in gym, and I didn't want to tell anyone what I was thinking. Gohan pushed me to talk to him, and I mean pushed. He wouldn't leave me alone until I told him. I did, but I never told him what I was really thinking. A voice in the back of my head told me...
'You put your friends' lives in danger and you could have lost them both. You lost someone already. Do you want to have that pain of loss again?'
Then I realized:
"Hey it's just a car. Everyone's fine...but my car!"
Graduation came, and then it left. I went over his house once and ate dinner there. After graduation, I keep on going off subject, there was something call Project Graduation. The only reason why I went was because Gohan was going. It was, in truth, kinda lame. But something happened that night of graduation.
We were just sitting there. Then before I knew it, he asked:
"Did you read what I wrote in your yearbook?"
How could I forget? He told me, in my yearbook, that he liked me. I screamed and giggled like a school girl, even though I am a Tom Boy. I told him the same thing when I wrote in his yearbook. I told him that I grew a crush on him, and to not stop being his sexy self.
We didn't much on the subject. Before I knew it I was asleep on his shoulder in a room where kids were playing cards. I felt his warmth once again, and I knew that there might be a relationship forming between us. On the bus ride home I fell asleep on him once again, even though he pulled on him and I was on my CD's. It was a painful car ride as the CD began to press on my side.
The other day, Gohan, Erica, and I wanted to sing some karaoke. We weren't 21 so we couldn't sing. (Not like I was going to anyway) Instead, we went to the mall where I tried on a mini skirt. I hate skirts, but I tried one on anyway. I hated it, and there was no way I was going to show Gohan.
After one of my nightmares came true we went to dinner. I wasn't that hungry so all I ordered was a milkshake and a glass of water. Everyone else ordered food while I enjoyed my milkshake. One thing I did like, though, was when I was cold and Gohan held me. I love the warmth feeling that he has around him. I could almost fall asleep in his arms...again. .
Now this is where I have my problem. I was dropped off at my house, and Gohan walked me to my door. My parent, and the other dude, was fast asleep. I hugged Gohan goodbye, but didn't want just a hug; he wanted a kiss too.
Now understand this. I am, and will admit it, NOT A GOOD KISSER! In truth, I do not know how kiss. I've talked to it with my friends before, and they tell me to relax and go with the flow. I CAN'T! I just want to be good enough for the person that I am with.
I've watched couples kiss. I always wanted to kiss like them, and be with someone who wants to kiss me. I just get so afraid sometimes, but I'm mostly shy. So kissing is not my strong point in life.
I did kiss Gohan though. Kinda a small kiss, but me being who I am it lasted a short while...too short. I wanted to kiss him so bad, and I long for his kiss for years. (Not really years, but it sure did feel like it)
So here I am still being shy about kisses. I do really like Gohan, and hopefully fall in love again. I may be hurt again, but I don't think I will ever be hurt again. The sad thing is that Gohan's going to a college that's about six hours away. He's leaving in August, but I hope that we can do a long distance relationship. When I get my car I'll drive up too see him. (Even if it's just for five minutes)
My heart pounds for him and his warmth. I want to have the feel of his lips again, I want to feel his warmth, I want him to know that I truly care about him. There's just one thing that I have to do before he sets off to a new journey:
I'll have to give him kisses.
Okay, this sucks but this is what I'm going through. If you have any advice, PLEASE GIVE! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW BAD I WANT TO KISS HIM, TRULY KISS HIM!!!!!! YOUR HELP WILL BE NOTED!!!!!!
Please review. For my sake.