Cloud: welcome to the FF7 talk show. Today is a special day. It's not a talk show today, It's Metal Chef! We chose the... er... best 6 cooks:
Scarlet
Heddieger
Rufus ShinRa
Barret Wallace
Cait Sith
Don Corneo
And the judges are:
Yuffie
Hojo
Marlene
Cloud: Today's ingredient is.... (drumroll) Alcohol!!!!
Aeris: You will be cooking while we watch the judges get drunk for eating your alcoholic foods.
Cloud: Now let the tournament begin! you have 30 minutes.
Scarlet: I'm going to make a tasty meatloaf.
Heddieger: Not better than my Chocolates.
Later...
Aeris: Mmm... Rufus' milkshake looks good.
Cloud: EEWW... A milkshake? 0o What about Scarlet's...no, Barret's yummy... ewww, Well what about the do... (makes disgusted face.). Well its not my fault none of the foods look good. Good thing I gave the judges barf bags. Isn't that right, Aeris?
Aeris: Thats right, Cloud. Now we have 15 minutes left. Isn't that right Cloud?
Cloud: Yep.
Aeris: Right.
Cloud: OK.
Aeris: Lets get on with the stupid show...
(15 minutes later.)
Cloud: All done. But, for some reason the Don is missing. But there is a giant cake at his table. Let's do his first.
( People from the cast pick up the cake and bring it to the judges.)
Hojo: Thats one big cake.
Marlene: Yay! Cake!
Yuffie: That better have lots of alcohol in it.
Hojo: You're under age.
Yuffie: So is Marlene.
( All of a sudden the Don pops out of the cake wearing a speedo.)
Cloud: Sorry. We'll be back in a seconed.
( Horrible elevator music plays for several minutes then the show comes back on.)
Aeris: Sorry, but we had to disqualify the Don. But we got the next one. Rufus' milkshake.
(all the judges start puking.)
Rufus: Oops, to much alcohol.
Barret: Try my ramen! :p
Marlene: tastes like puke.
Barret: MARLENE! What have I told you about saying rude things. It's not bad.
(takes a bite and his face turns red. Then he runs out of the room.)
Scarlet: My meatloaf is so tasty!
( Yuffie takes a bite and dies.)
Aeris: (scoots yuffie under table.) Lets just say that never happened.
Cait Sith: You can't eat mine.
Hojo: Then why did you try out for metal chef?
Cait Sith: It's an explosive carrot.
(Cid walks in)
Cid: Must have something to eat! (Eats the carrot) Oh $%&#.
(Atomic explosion)
Even though the carrot was explosive and destroyed the whole world. It won Metal Chef! THE END
Scarlet
Heddieger
Rufus ShinRa
Barret Wallace
Cait Sith
Don Corneo
And the judges are:
Yuffie
Hojo
Marlene
Cloud: Today's ingredient is.... (drumroll) Alcohol!!!!
Aeris: You will be cooking while we watch the judges get drunk for eating your alcoholic foods.
Cloud: Now let the tournament begin! you have 30 minutes.
Scarlet: I'm going to make a tasty meatloaf.
Heddieger: Not better than my Chocolates.
Later...
Aeris: Mmm... Rufus' milkshake looks good.
Cloud: EEWW... A milkshake? 0o What about Scarlet's...no, Barret's yummy... ewww, Well what about the do... (makes disgusted face.). Well its not my fault none of the foods look good. Good thing I gave the judges barf bags. Isn't that right, Aeris?
Aeris: Thats right, Cloud. Now we have 15 minutes left. Isn't that right Cloud?
Cloud: Yep.
Aeris: Right.
Cloud: OK.
Aeris: Lets get on with the stupid show...
(15 minutes later.)
Cloud: All done. But, for some reason the Don is missing. But there is a giant cake at his table. Let's do his first.
( People from the cast pick up the cake and bring it to the judges.)
Hojo: Thats one big cake.
Marlene: Yay! Cake!
Yuffie: That better have lots of alcohol in it.
Hojo: You're under age.
Yuffie: So is Marlene.
( All of a sudden the Don pops out of the cake wearing a speedo.)
Cloud: Sorry. We'll be back in a seconed.
( Horrible elevator music plays for several minutes then the show comes back on.)
Aeris: Sorry, but we had to disqualify the Don. But we got the next one. Rufus' milkshake.
(all the judges start puking.)
Rufus: Oops, to much alcohol.
Barret: Try my ramen! :p
Marlene: tastes like puke.
Barret: MARLENE! What have I told you about saying rude things. It's not bad.
(takes a bite and his face turns red. Then he runs out of the room.)
Scarlet: My meatloaf is so tasty!
( Yuffie takes a bite and dies.)
Aeris: (scoots yuffie under table.) Lets just say that never happened.
Cait Sith: You can't eat mine.
Hojo: Then why did you try out for metal chef?
Cait Sith: It's an explosive carrot.
(Cid walks in)
Cid: Must have something to eat! (Eats the carrot) Oh $%&#.
(Atomic explosion)
Even though the carrot was explosive and destroyed the whole world. It won Metal Chef! THE END