Scene 2
(Heero continues to drive around the stage back and forth, with Duo running after him, screaming furiously.)
Duo: HEERO! HEY WAIT FOR ME!!!!
(After the song ends, Heero abruptly stops the "bus," causing Duo to crash into it.)
Duo: (pants exhaustedly) Since…Since…(begins to sing) Since I was a little pilot, I had a dream. (jumps on top of a knocked out Heero) My name in lights! Duo the dancing daaance pilot. Got on a bus (glares at the unconscious Heero) and came to a town…well actually city…where dreams can come true. It's gonna happen for me. It could happen for you.
(Duo begins to dance pretty well, until he accidentally bumped into Ascot who was carrying a big block of ice. Ascot drops the ice onto the floor, making Duo slip.)
Duo: (falls onto the stage floor with a loud thump) OUCH! WHY YOU LITTLE MOTHER(BEEP)! I OUGHTA…
(The Audience gasps after hearing Duo curse nonstop)
Ascot: (clears his throat and points towards the audience) Hello, get with your song already!
Duo: What song?
Ascot: Your opening song!
Duo: Oh yeah! (clears his throat again, and continues to sing) You can do anything if you try! The most impossible dream can come true, if you believe it. This is my kind of…err…town. It's as clear as the nose on your faces. This is the time. (tap dances on Heero) This is the place. This is the time. This must be the place! (jumps off Heero and grabs onto a pole in order o spin) To-ki-yo! Where the streets are paved with gray. Where the pilots never grow old, in To-ki-yo…(mutters) coz' they get blown up! To-ki-yo! Where the stars don't shine at night. They walk around in the broad daylight (Syaoran, Sakura, and Jim flash bright pictures in front of Duo's eyes, blinding him) AH! In…uhhh…someplace. Dig that face, we ain't see nothing like it any place (sees picture of Lafarga in a ballerina costume and cringes). It's right above the movie screens if you know what I mean! Look at me, I'm gonna be the pilot to see! I'm going down in history, just watch me!
(Duo begins to walk around, dancing, while Kiyone tries to avoid him. Unfortunately, she is not very successful, as she trips towards the scenery with the messed up shapes which Lantis and Eagle had claimed to be birds and trees.)
Duo: (continues to sing) To-ki-yo (jumps in front of Kiyone's way and sets a firecracker on fire, causing Kiyone's hair to burn)!! Where the streets are paved with gray!
(Kiyone gives Duo a death glare.)
Duo: Where dreams can never grow old. Right here in…To…ki…yo! (spreads arms wide, causing Kiyone to crash into a very wet scenery)
(Duo walks towards a "building" and throws the door open, accidentally ripping it off its hinges.)
Mihoshi: (looks up as the door falls) Um…what are we supposed to do again?
Suzuka: (elbows Mihoshi hard on the ribs) Your lines?
Mihoshi: What lines?
Clef: Did you even memorize your lines, Mihoshi?
Mihoshi: We're in a play?
Touya: I don't believe this. How did I ever get myself mixed up in this?
Mihoshi: Hmm…Oh yeah! Hi there. Here, let me introduce you! (grabs Duo's shoulders and moves him around and around over and over to every person on the stage) So, you new in town?
Duo: Uh…what? Oh! I mean…yeah, I just arrived today. I'm Duo. I hear Ms. Washu gives good parts to pilots!
Suzuka: If you call being blown up into smithereens a good part…
Duo: (fishes around his pocket for a piece of paper) Where the hell is that piece of…Oh, here it is!
Mihoshi: Um…What's that you got there?
Duo: Oh, this here is…uh…(takes out his script and begins to read it again) a list of some things I plan to do once I got here. I figured that if I work really hard, I'd land my very first part on Friday. That's what happened for you guys, right?
Touya and Suzuka: Uh…Oh, sure…yeah, whatever.
Squall: Hey that's my line!
Quistis: Shhh!
Mihoshi: Oh! Uh…maybe you should go and see Ms. Washu, and let her know you're here. (ruffles Duo's precious hair, ruining it)
Duo: (fixes his hair and walks over towards Washu) Uh, Ms. Washu?
Washu: Hmm…(begins to sing her science song) Sit back and listen to this song that I'm singing. Photon, proton, synchrotron are…
Duo: Um…Ms. Washu? WASHU!
Washu: huh? Oh, it's you! How can I help you? No, no, don't say anything. I know exactly how I can help you. You can play a pretty pilot for that new 'Lil Ark Angel movie with Emeraude Dimple.
Duo: Emeraude Dimple! THE world's most hated person known to man? I mean…the most adorable child loving pilots known to man?
Washu: That's right! One and the same! Now all you have to do is sign here, here, here, here, here, etc. (you get the picture)
Kiyone: (walks past the broken door, looking like she was gonna shoot something) …
Mihoshi: Oh, Kiyone! You're covered in paint!
Kiyone: A pilot crossed my path.
Mihoshi: Oh, um, long hair?
Kiyone: Yeah.
Mihoshi: Black outfit?
Kiyone: How'd you know?
Mihoshi: Uh, a coincidence? But anyway, maybe you should tidy up. You wanna look pretty in case you meet someone nice.
Kiyone: Yeah, right, Mihoshi, as if he's gonna walk right out that…
(Washu and Duo slam the fake doors open, making it fall off its hinges also. The broken door fall on Kiyone.)
Washu: Where's Kiyone! Kiyone!
Kiyone: (lifts the door off her head, dizzily) Ouch…
Washu: Ah, Kiyone, dahling! I have a new job for you.
Kiyone: What ever it is, the answer is definitely no!
Washu: I'll double your salary!
Kiyone: Triple.
Washu: Triple! I'll quadruple it!
Kiyone: Deal!
Clef: Hey! That's not in the script!
Washu: Hehehe, here's your partner.
Kiyone: (sees Duo) No way! Forget it!
Washu: (grabs Kiyone's hair) Nah uh uh! A deals a deal. Hehehe…
Duo: Woah! You're covered in paint! Was that supposed to happen?
Kiyone: …(walks out the door, tripping over the broken door by accident)
Scene 3
Ascot: Hey, mister!
Duo: Huh? Oh, what?
Ascot: You better go get your costume.
Kiyone: Hurry up already, I don't have all day.
Duo: Okay, okay.
Clef: (runs around, passing scripts) Scripts! Scripts! Scripts!
Duo: Meow? What the…?
Kiyone: (grabs the paper and turns it to another side) Here.
Duo: Oh! Pretty. Is that all? Where's the rest?
Kiyone: You're looking at it.
Duo: That's all?
Kiyone: Yup.
Duo: You sure?
Kiyone: Yeah.
Duo: Really sure?
Kiyone: Positive.
Duo: Really?
Kiyone: Oh would you just shut up already?!
Duo: Fine, but I'm sure they won't mind if I jazz it up a bit, right?
Kiyone: All right, learn it the hard way.
Duo: (sings to himself) I feel pretty. Oh, so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and – HACK!
(Kiyone elbows Duo.)
Fred Lo: All right, everybody! Lights! Camera! (says in a very disturbing way) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahc…tion…
(The lights on the stage turn off except for one in the very center. Emeraude hangs down from a wire attached to her.)
Emeraude: (begins to sing BADLY) The people of Cephiro were so bad, that the Pillar made the rain come down. And she WASHED away their big cities. And she WASHED away their big towns. And ALL of the people DROWNED!
(The Audience moans in pain as they hear Emeraude's voice.)
Audience: (moaning in pain) Ohhhh…ohhhh…
Emeraude: (sings again, ignoring the audience) But the pilots were much smarter, though some of them drowned too. The OTHERS were just poor pi-hi-lots, and they didn't know what to do…sooooo…I built a little boat. As big as big can be. I put all the pilots two by two in my little boat on the sea. The blue pilots went…
Blue pilots: (unenthusiastically) Blue. Blue.
Emeraude: The pink ones went.
Pink pilots: (boringly) Pink, pink. Pink, pink.
Emeraude: And all the little pilots went little, little, little on my little boat on the sea. The red pilots went…
Squall: This play sucks! Who wrote all this?
Maya: (glowers) I did…
Red pilots: Red, red. Red, red.
Emeraude: The pretty pilots went…
Kiyone: Pretty.
Duo: Preh-teeeeeee
Emeraude: (looks at Duo strangely) The yellow pilots went…
Duo: (pushes away the yellow pilots and begins to sing) Preh-tee! Preh-tee! Preh-tee! Preh-teeeeeeeee!
Emeraude: On my big boat on the sea!
Duo: The little boat on the sea! Preh-tee. Preh-tee. On the sea…
Emeraude: CUT! CUT, CUT, CUT!
Fred Luo: Cut? Oh, yes, cut!
Emeraude: GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!
Lantis: Hey, Emeraude's acting well.
Eagle: Who said she was acting?
Lantis and Eagle: Hehehehe…
Hikaru: That's mean.
(Ferio and Aisha grin evilly. They lower a lever down roughly, causing Emeraude to crash towards the floor.)
Emeraude: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (crashes onto the floor, face down with a loud thump)
Fred Luo: Ah, Miss Dimple, here, let me help you. (waves his hands in the air, doing practically nothing)
Touya: Yeah that's really helping…
Emeraude: (getting up from the floor) Director Fred, isn't this movie about…a little…ANGEL?
Fred Luo: Yes, Darla.
Emeraude: Huh?
Fred Luo: I mean, Emeraude.
Emeraude: And who here is a little angel? (takes grabs Fred and tightens her grip on his tie) AREN'T I SUPPOSED TO BE A LITTLE ANGEL!?
Fred Luo: That's right, Miss Dimple, sweety, baby, cutey, dahling…
(Emeraude rolls her eyes and chokes Fred with his tie.)
Fred: …Uh…angel?
Emeraude: THAT'S RIGHT! I AM A LITTLE ANGEL! I AM AN ADORABLE LITTLE…ANGEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!!!!!!
Baofu: Like hell…Kids these days…(puffs out a cigar smoke)
Squall: The real side of Emeraude.
Quistis: No wonder she fits the part perfectly.
Fred: Um…ouch…
(Duo "accidentally" flipped one of the levers back up, making Emeraude swing back up violently.)
Emeraude: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!! LAAAAAAAAAFFY!!!!
Lafarga: (walks through on of the backgrounds and heads towards Emeraude) Hey, how'd that wall get there?
Eagle: Oh man, there goes all my hard work.
Syaoran: Hmph, what hard work? You mean those big squiggly lines?
Lantis: They're flowers!
Fuu: They are?
Emeraude: You moron, you're supposed to say your lines!
Lafarga: Oops, I'm so sorry, I forgot all about them!
Emeraude: Just say them!
Lafarga: Oh, uh…you rang, Miss Dimple?
Emeraude: (points at Duo) That cat!
Duo: (looks behind him) Huh? What cat?
Lafarga: What cat?
Emeraude: That one!
Suzuka: Pilot! Pilot!
Emeraude: Oh…that's right…(laughs nervously) Get that pilot!
Lafarga: (cracks his knuckles) How does a kitty cat go?
Duo: Huh?
Lafarga: Uh…I mean (takes out his script) How does a pretty pilot gooooooooooooooooooo?
Maya: Ruined! It's all ruined!Hikaru: Oh, I thought they were acting.
Tomoyo: (gasps and continues to videotape) Sakura-chan is so beautiful and so graceful!
Quatre: Uh, Tomoyo, shouldn't you be videotaping the play?
Duo: Uh…pretty?
Lafarga: Very gooooooooood.
Duo: (covering his nose) Dude, you need a breath mint!
Lafarga: Hey shut up! Look who's talking!
Clef: That definitely isn't in the script.
Duo: Hey you can't tell me what to do!
Kiyone: (smacks the back of Duo's head) Just get back to the act.
Lafarga: Uh how does the next line go? (takes out his script again and reads it.) Oh, uh…will that do, Miss Dimple?
Emeraude: No not really – I mean…For the moment.
(Lafarga leaves the stage, putting another hole through Lantis and Eagle's background.)
Duo: (tries to put on his cap, but can't seem to manage it because he is still knocked out from Lafarga's bad breath) …
Kiyone: Told you so. (takes the cap and smacks on Duo's head.)