Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns Ranma ½ and all the other people she has
sold the rights to including Kitty and Viz.
A/N: I AM SO SORRY IM LATE!!! It's so late that I'm making you a promise; I will try to have the fic done in two weeks or just under it! I think I've gotten a little mixed up in how many chapters are left. There will be one more chapter before the wedding and then the first and second part of Suru and Akane's wedding. After that I will have another chapter that will be the end/epilogue. I know what you're thinking and yes I'll miss my creative genius too but I'm making other stories! Lol! Thanks to all the people who review my stories and me! You can email me at tiney_panda@hotmail.com. Thanks for reading!
* * *
Change means movement. Movement means friction. Only in the frictionless vacuum of a nonexistent abstract world can movement or change occur without that abrasive friction of conflict.
--Saul Alinsky
* *
*
Suru fiddled with the bow tie in his hands. He could feel them trembling and laid down the black fabric. He slowly walked over to his bowed and sat down with a sigh. He had so much going through his head he could hardly contain the feeling of close triumph inside him. He rested his head down on his pillow, and stretched slowly. Feeling every bone, every muscle in his body quickly tense up and then just as quickly disappear. It felt good to lie down and he pushed himself to keep his eyes open to stare at his clock. It faintly displayed a two, zero, and then a five in red vibrant glow.
The walls were slightly orange but mostly yellow and he had a sombrero attached to his wall. The other walls were bare except for a black and white picture of Akane with a gray dress on staring and smiling at the cameraman not actually paying attention to the fact that a picture was being recorded, a memory, and a memory that would not soon be forgotten. A ticket to paradise even if everything fell apart. The picture was so important to him but yet it had no frame. Suru could not figure out how to place such a picture behind a piece of glass and could not find a frame worthy of her.
The lights were more dismal than the room. The dimly lit lamp on his side table burned its bulb to the core with a faint buzz. The ceiling seemed a shade of black or gray but no matter how much it grew the rest of the room could not noticed and simply ignored the sign of what was to come. The light bulb lit on, the walls stood tall, and the picture kept vibrant as the darkness dotingly dotted and tainted the soft, dull room.
Suru knew Akane couldn't find out. If she did she would leave him forever and run off with her beloved Ghost boy. It stung as he thought that. It wasn't true; he wasn't taking away someone's true love just to make his life better. He wouldn't be ruining her life forever right? He was frightened that for the rest of her life Akane would be happy on the outside not showing the empty hole within her soul, never figuring out just what was wrong.
Or maybe she would figure out what was wrong. Maybe she would figure out that Ranma was the one and rush into his arms divorcing him and forever shunning him into darkness, placing him in the worst place possible, her forgotten memories. Even worse, she would hide it from him and live out her life as a dutiful wife and him as the honorable husband only to have the shattered reality that on the inside she was having an affair and he was subconsciously pushing her away. Or they could live happily ever after.
Suru wanted to tell her but then it would bring up so many different problems. For instance, she would have to start calling him Ryoga instead of Suru if she didn't leave him for Ranma or some other guy, or she would kill him and blame it on loss of sanity getting her forever off the hook but still forever in her burning memory. He'd rather be hatefully remembered than lovingly forgotten!
All for love right? That's how he had to think about things, love was all that mattered and he knew he had a whole lot of that! Of course, it would have to be a two-way thing and he knew Akane loved him for being there for her but her heart was masked. Who did she love? Ranma or him? Ranma had always been viciously crude and horribly rude to her and yet she only once broke their engagement only to reengage it after a few days. Could she actually have feelings for the mongrel? The selfish ass was all that was standing between him and his love. If could only stay dead everything would be great.
Ryoga chuckled, he had always said he would kill Ranma and he hadn't even finished the job. He'd leave that to someone else, someone deeply disturbed, someone who wouldn't take life as an answer. Of course it had to be a man, if it were a woman all Ranma would get would be a new fiancé!
The sharp pain in his chest grew and the dark mystery of her heart rapped at the door of his mind. He lifted a hand to his temple and massaged it counter-clockwise timidly. This was going to make him lose his hair! Headaches, stomach pains, money problems, planning, not to mention the few guests allowed coming! He loved every second of it! The thought of being so close to taking Akane into his arms and never letting go was ecstasy! He would never let her get away, never.
"How are you gonna marry her now?" Ranma had yelled.
Ranma was right, even if he was just a little dead. The kind of undying affection he had for Akane could never be returned but he understood that, no one could ever love anyone as much as he loved her. She was his life, his reason, and his entire existence.
He had watched her change into the emotional train wreck she was now and his heart panged to tell her to run, to mend her broken heart and to get rid of anyone who caused her pain. She had been tumbling and fumbling around trying to figure out what she was and who she had been and all that time he was standing by her side, picking her up when she fell, never wandering to others for consoling on matters of he heart. She didn't understand what she was had to be the person she would always be and the person that she had been would never return. He had to help her, be her counsel forever. He was quite willing and never denied a good fight like this had been!
The scarce tinge of guilt did come over her once in awhile but that was only a minor infliction in his brain. He hadn't ripped up her ticket to her paradise had he? Having too much baggage can ruin a trip. He remembered one time when he had gone to the airport and they wouldn't let him on due to too much luggage. He tried to explain that if he left there was an increasingly good chance they would be lost for good but they were just as persistent as him! They talked of how they had the lowest loss of luggage percent in Peru but he wouldn't listen. He was supposed to be in Japan but instead he ended up in Peru and they were telling him about lousy numbers!
Suru shook off the memory and rolled his head from side to side. It slightly cracked and he felt it release its tension on him. He didn't know how long he could keep this up. If all went well he would be having a ball but if one tiny detail didn't come through then Akane would probably be an emotional ticking time bomb and he would be the most interesting man on a leash in the neighborhood! Even the charm he'd gotten from the old hag wouldn't work with that kind of stress building up! He massaged his temples again and closed his eyes.
But imagine if everything did go as planned, if everything fit together and went into place. He would be so happy and so would Akane and their future would be so bright, they'd have a lot of friends and belong to all the best country clubs. They would be content and not greedy but still mischievous and fun, they'd never want to lose the other's companionship and never miss out on the unforgiving ghost Ranma's pleas. Akane would say sorry but she loved him and not Ranma so much that Ranma would walk away, head slunk, shoulders bent and ever shaky out of their lives forever.
Suru didn't want that kind of life for Ranma though; he had always thought them on the borderline of becoming friends. He'd want Ranma to find a nice girl and leave Akane alone. Ranma could get over it and if he were to find a cure, who could say no to two friends sharing the release of their curses? He just wanted to be happy, was that too much to ask?
Life had always been hard on him but that would all be made even if Akane would be with him. His own parents wouldn't even be at his wedding! He wanted so much to see his again; he hadn't seen them for so long that he wondered if they would recognize him at all. He would always remember what they looked like but he wondered f he'd even care about them at all. He would be far too busy to recognize them as the humongous importance they actually were!
Suru looked to the table again and stared at the little bow tie he had been holding onto trembling just like before. He smiled for a short second and then stopped only to start smiling again.
Who did he think he was? How would he know what was going to happen in the future? All he could do was live in the world he had and be the person he wanted to be. If he kept fretting over the future he would have none, he would never escalate to a place he belonged. He would stay the same person he was and slowly back away into a corner, into oblivion.
If Akane didn't choose him it wasn't the end of the world. It would hurt but he could possibly get over it. It would be one hell of a fight but he would manage. If she chose him he wouldn't lie or anything but he wouldn't change either. He would be the person he was born as, the one person whose feelings he should but could never care about more than anyone else, himself.
Suru sat up on his bed and as his feet swung over the side of the stiff covers he smiled even more. He reached his hand across his nightstand and picked up the little bow. With sturdy, unshaken hands he put it on.
"I'm ready for the fight world," Suru said to the mirror as he tied the tie around his neck, "come and get me."
A/N: Sorry if the clues didn't make sense but I still didn't figure out how to layout this chapter. There will be one more chapter until the wedding and after the two-part wedding and epilogue. There wont be any more clues because I'm not giving a thing away! And now . . .
(drum roll please)
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
My drumroll rules.
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
This drum roll is longer and unannounced. Ooh. Ahh
REVIEWING REVIEWS!
Ranko And Mr. Panda: Kill Suru? Never!
Christine: Thanks! And I'll get to sending you Something Blue! I've really got to cut down on the amount of stories I'm writing! LoL!
ka_chan: LoL! Thanks for reviewing my review of your review!
dogbertcarroll: Hmmm . . . I really should copyright him!
seongmi: Do you think she'll go through with the wedding? You wont know unless you read on!
FluffyWolfy: Sorry about taking so long! I think I just jumped to the conclusion you would shoot me. It sounded reasonable! LoL!
A/N: Review my story or I might forget to write the next chapter! Next chapter hopefully up soon!
A/N: I AM SO SORRY IM LATE!!! It's so late that I'm making you a promise; I will try to have the fic done in two weeks or just under it! I think I've gotten a little mixed up in how many chapters are left. There will be one more chapter before the wedding and then the first and second part of Suru and Akane's wedding. After that I will have another chapter that will be the end/epilogue. I know what you're thinking and yes I'll miss my creative genius too but I'm making other stories! Lol! Thanks to all the people who review my stories and me! You can email me at tiney_panda@hotmail.com. Thanks for reading!
* * *
Change means movement. Movement means friction. Only in the frictionless vacuum of a nonexistent abstract world can movement or change occur without that abrasive friction of conflict.
--Saul Alinsky
* *
*
Suru fiddled with the bow tie in his hands. He could feel them trembling and laid down the black fabric. He slowly walked over to his bowed and sat down with a sigh. He had so much going through his head he could hardly contain the feeling of close triumph inside him. He rested his head down on his pillow, and stretched slowly. Feeling every bone, every muscle in his body quickly tense up and then just as quickly disappear. It felt good to lie down and he pushed himself to keep his eyes open to stare at his clock. It faintly displayed a two, zero, and then a five in red vibrant glow.
The walls were slightly orange but mostly yellow and he had a sombrero attached to his wall. The other walls were bare except for a black and white picture of Akane with a gray dress on staring and smiling at the cameraman not actually paying attention to the fact that a picture was being recorded, a memory, and a memory that would not soon be forgotten. A ticket to paradise even if everything fell apart. The picture was so important to him but yet it had no frame. Suru could not figure out how to place such a picture behind a piece of glass and could not find a frame worthy of her.
The lights were more dismal than the room. The dimly lit lamp on his side table burned its bulb to the core with a faint buzz. The ceiling seemed a shade of black or gray but no matter how much it grew the rest of the room could not noticed and simply ignored the sign of what was to come. The light bulb lit on, the walls stood tall, and the picture kept vibrant as the darkness dotingly dotted and tainted the soft, dull room.
Suru knew Akane couldn't find out. If she did she would leave him forever and run off with her beloved Ghost boy. It stung as he thought that. It wasn't true; he wasn't taking away someone's true love just to make his life better. He wouldn't be ruining her life forever right? He was frightened that for the rest of her life Akane would be happy on the outside not showing the empty hole within her soul, never figuring out just what was wrong.
Or maybe she would figure out what was wrong. Maybe she would figure out that Ranma was the one and rush into his arms divorcing him and forever shunning him into darkness, placing him in the worst place possible, her forgotten memories. Even worse, she would hide it from him and live out her life as a dutiful wife and him as the honorable husband only to have the shattered reality that on the inside she was having an affair and he was subconsciously pushing her away. Or they could live happily ever after.
Suru wanted to tell her but then it would bring up so many different problems. For instance, she would have to start calling him Ryoga instead of Suru if she didn't leave him for Ranma or some other guy, or she would kill him and blame it on loss of sanity getting her forever off the hook but still forever in her burning memory. He'd rather be hatefully remembered than lovingly forgotten!
All for love right? That's how he had to think about things, love was all that mattered and he knew he had a whole lot of that! Of course, it would have to be a two-way thing and he knew Akane loved him for being there for her but her heart was masked. Who did she love? Ranma or him? Ranma had always been viciously crude and horribly rude to her and yet she only once broke their engagement only to reengage it after a few days. Could she actually have feelings for the mongrel? The selfish ass was all that was standing between him and his love. If could only stay dead everything would be great.
Ryoga chuckled, he had always said he would kill Ranma and he hadn't even finished the job. He'd leave that to someone else, someone deeply disturbed, someone who wouldn't take life as an answer. Of course it had to be a man, if it were a woman all Ranma would get would be a new fiancé!
The sharp pain in his chest grew and the dark mystery of her heart rapped at the door of his mind. He lifted a hand to his temple and massaged it counter-clockwise timidly. This was going to make him lose his hair! Headaches, stomach pains, money problems, planning, not to mention the few guests allowed coming! He loved every second of it! The thought of being so close to taking Akane into his arms and never letting go was ecstasy! He would never let her get away, never.
"How are you gonna marry her now?" Ranma had yelled.
Ranma was right, even if he was just a little dead. The kind of undying affection he had for Akane could never be returned but he understood that, no one could ever love anyone as much as he loved her. She was his life, his reason, and his entire existence.
He had watched her change into the emotional train wreck she was now and his heart panged to tell her to run, to mend her broken heart and to get rid of anyone who caused her pain. She had been tumbling and fumbling around trying to figure out what she was and who she had been and all that time he was standing by her side, picking her up when she fell, never wandering to others for consoling on matters of he heart. She didn't understand what she was had to be the person she would always be and the person that she had been would never return. He had to help her, be her counsel forever. He was quite willing and never denied a good fight like this had been!
The scarce tinge of guilt did come over her once in awhile but that was only a minor infliction in his brain. He hadn't ripped up her ticket to her paradise had he? Having too much baggage can ruin a trip. He remembered one time when he had gone to the airport and they wouldn't let him on due to too much luggage. He tried to explain that if he left there was an increasingly good chance they would be lost for good but they were just as persistent as him! They talked of how they had the lowest loss of luggage percent in Peru but he wouldn't listen. He was supposed to be in Japan but instead he ended up in Peru and they were telling him about lousy numbers!
Suru shook off the memory and rolled his head from side to side. It slightly cracked and he felt it release its tension on him. He didn't know how long he could keep this up. If all went well he would be having a ball but if one tiny detail didn't come through then Akane would probably be an emotional ticking time bomb and he would be the most interesting man on a leash in the neighborhood! Even the charm he'd gotten from the old hag wouldn't work with that kind of stress building up! He massaged his temples again and closed his eyes.
But imagine if everything did go as planned, if everything fit together and went into place. He would be so happy and so would Akane and their future would be so bright, they'd have a lot of friends and belong to all the best country clubs. They would be content and not greedy but still mischievous and fun, they'd never want to lose the other's companionship and never miss out on the unforgiving ghost Ranma's pleas. Akane would say sorry but she loved him and not Ranma so much that Ranma would walk away, head slunk, shoulders bent and ever shaky out of their lives forever.
Suru didn't want that kind of life for Ranma though; he had always thought them on the borderline of becoming friends. He'd want Ranma to find a nice girl and leave Akane alone. Ranma could get over it and if he were to find a cure, who could say no to two friends sharing the release of their curses? He just wanted to be happy, was that too much to ask?
Life had always been hard on him but that would all be made even if Akane would be with him. His own parents wouldn't even be at his wedding! He wanted so much to see his again; he hadn't seen them for so long that he wondered if they would recognize him at all. He would always remember what they looked like but he wondered f he'd even care about them at all. He would be far too busy to recognize them as the humongous importance they actually were!
Suru looked to the table again and stared at the little bow tie he had been holding onto trembling just like before. He smiled for a short second and then stopped only to start smiling again.
Who did he think he was? How would he know what was going to happen in the future? All he could do was live in the world he had and be the person he wanted to be. If he kept fretting over the future he would have none, he would never escalate to a place he belonged. He would stay the same person he was and slowly back away into a corner, into oblivion.
If Akane didn't choose him it wasn't the end of the world. It would hurt but he could possibly get over it. It would be one hell of a fight but he would manage. If she chose him he wouldn't lie or anything but he wouldn't change either. He would be the person he was born as, the one person whose feelings he should but could never care about more than anyone else, himself.
Suru sat up on his bed and as his feet swung over the side of the stiff covers he smiled even more. He reached his hand across his nightstand and picked up the little bow. With sturdy, unshaken hands he put it on.
"I'm ready for the fight world," Suru said to the mirror as he tied the tie around his neck, "come and get me."
A/N: Sorry if the clues didn't make sense but I still didn't figure out how to layout this chapter. There will be one more chapter until the wedding and after the two-part wedding and epilogue. There wont be any more clues because I'm not giving a thing away! And now . . .
(drum roll please)
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
My drumroll rules.
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
This drum roll is longer and unannounced. Ooh. Ahh
REVIEWING REVIEWS!
Ranko And Mr. Panda: Kill Suru? Never!
Christine: Thanks! And I'll get to sending you Something Blue! I've really got to cut down on the amount of stories I'm writing! LoL!
ka_chan: LoL! Thanks for reviewing my review of your review!
dogbertcarroll: Hmmm . . . I really should copyright him!
seongmi: Do you think she'll go through with the wedding? You wont know unless you read on!
FluffyWolfy: Sorry about taking so long! I think I just jumped to the conclusion you would shoot me. It sounded reasonable! LoL!
A/N: Review my story or I might forget to write the next chapter! Next chapter hopefully up soon!