Uncle Sirius
By Sabaye Leyr
Summary: Sirius is given the task of caring for baby Harry for a day, and his thoughts wander. A one-shot based after "I Won't Mind" from "The Other Franklin"
Crickets chirped softly, their cries cutting through the thick August night. Sirius Black stood on the doorstep of the Potters, shifting nervously. James had recruited him to watch his young son, Harry, while he and Lily had some "quality time". Sirius had adamantly refused, but James had pointed out that Remus wasn't available and he didn't really trust Peter with a baby, so he had grudgingly agreed.
The door swung open to reveal James Potter. He leaned against the doorframe, peering at Sirius and smirking evilly.
"Wow, you're really uptight about this, aren't you Padfoot?" James snickered, and Sirius gave him a dark glare.
"Shut up. I don't do babies." Sirius replied, running a hand through his dark hair. James's eyes twinkled.
"I should hope not. Lily wouldn't want to leave Harry with a pedophile." He chuckled as Sirius glared at him and shoved past him into the house.
Lily was scurrying around the living room of the small, cozy Potter house, gathering together anything that Sirius possibly might need to take care of her son.
Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"Is she always like this?" he asked in a low voice. James nodded.
"She even does it when she leaves Harry with me. It's like she doesn't trust me or something,"
Sirius snorted.
"Maybe that's because you let him get into your potions ingredients and he burned a hole in the carpet." Sirius said, and James glared at him.
Lily finally stopped dashing around the house, and approached Sirius, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Hey, Sirius," she said absentmindedly, gazing at the pile of stuff she'd placed on the couch. James gently took her by the arm, and pulled her towards the door.
"We're going to be late, Lily. Harry will be fine," James said soothingly, handing Lily her purse.
Lily nodded again, then turned to look at Sirius.
"He's just been fed, so he should be okay for a while," She explained, and Sirius nodded, making shooing motions in the direction of the door.
"Fine, now go, before you're late," he said, but Lily didn't move. She began to tick off things on her fingers.
"No brooms, no wands, no practical joking devices of any sort. Don't let him roll around in the mud if you decide to take him outside. No midnight joyrides on your motorcycle with him along. Oh, and no potions sets," she added, glaring at James. James shrugged.
"I will take good care of your son, woman, now go," Sirius said again, pushing Lily towards the open door.
After a moment, Lily sighed and let James pull her out the door.
"Mommy'll be back soon. Have fun with Uncle Sirius," Lily called to her son, who giggled at the sound of her voice.
"Have a good time," Sirius told them as he closed the door. Then he turned and looked into the living room.
Harry was in his playpen, standing up and grasping at the padded sides of it. He was staring at Sirius, blinking expectantly at him.
Sirius wandered over into the room and settled down on the floor. He sat cross-legged across from Harry, who merely stood in place and gazed at him. Occasionally he'd stamp his feet and grin.
I won't mind
Sitting by your cradle,
Singing to you softly
Far into the night.
"Sooo..." Sirius said after a couple minutes. Was this all babies did? Hang onto the edge of a playpen and stare?
Harry reached out over the edge of the playpen, his little hand grasping for something out of his reach.
With only one hand holding on to he edge, the baby quickly lost his balance and fell into the playpen, landing on his behind.
Sirius briefly panicked. What if he had hurt himself, and now he'd start screaming? Sirius hated baby screaming.
Sirius crawled over to the playpen and leaned over the side to look at Harry. Harry glanced up at him and giggled.
Sirius let out a sigh of relief.
"Well then, you're a tough little guy, aren't you?" he said softly, and Harry cooed at being spoken to.
"Bu," he said plainly, and Sirius gave him an odd look.
"What?" he said, and Harry's brow furrowed.
"Bu!" he said more insistently. Sirius didn't say anything, just continued to look at him oddly.
"Bu! Bu!" Harry cried, and reached out, his seeking hand grabbing a fist full of Sirius's hair.
"Ow! Shit!" Sirius said, and immediately clamped a hand over his mouth. No cursing around the baby. No cursing around the baby.
He pried Harry's hand loose and looked at the little boy again. He was starting to look fussy, because this strange man didn't understand what he wanted.
Harry climbed to his knees and wobbled, then pressed his hands over Sirius's eyes, and cried "Bu!" again.
"...do you want to play peek-a-boo?" Sirius asked a moment later, while Harry still had his hands all over his face.
"Bu." Harry repeated.
"I guess so," Sirius said, then took Harry's hands off his face, quickly covering his face with his own hands.
Harry clapped, happy that he was getting what he wanted.
Sirius flipped his hands open and shouted, "Boo!"
Harry giggled madly, and immediately copied Sirius.
I won't mind
Playing peek-a-boo for hours
To see that look of wonder
Wonder and delight
A grin split Sirius's face as he watched his godson. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. He could deal with doing this all night.
Soon, however, Harry became bored and refused to play anymore.
"Great, what am I supposed to do now," Sirius muttered, and Harry made an unintelligible noise.
He had stood up in the playpen and was lifting his arms up, making frustrated noises.
At a loss, Sirius reached into the playpen and picked the little boy up.
"Goo," Harry said firmly, an immediately snuggled into Sirius's chest.
Sirius felt something melt inside him, and he looked down at the tiny form that was absently petting his dark, shoulder length hair.
Harry's face was round and inquisitive, and consisted mostly of large, brilliant green eyes framed by dark lashes. He had a messy mop of raven hair, but to Sirius's amusement, he could see a stray red hair here and there. Harry squirmed, then gazed up at Sirius, giving him a huge grin.
"Awww..." Sirius found himself saying, then gently brushed a stray piece of hair out of Harry's eyes.
Harry pointed at Sirius's mouth."Mooth." he said proudly.
"Mouth, you mean?" Sirius corrected. Harry squirmed again and repeated it.
Sirius took Harry's hand and put it on the little boy's mouth.
"Mouth," he dictated, and his eyes twinkled as he got a response of "Mooth."
Sirius then moved Harry's hand up to his tiny nose, and explained to him what that was. He laughed when Harry proudly repeated, "No," for "nose".
Soon they'll be asking,"Where is Baby's nose?
Where is Baby's shoe? Where is Baby's hat?"
"Clever little boy," they'll say.
"Charlie taught him that."
Much to Sirius's dismay, Harry seemed to have the same attention deficit problem his father had and would not stay engrossed in any activity for any amount of time. He'd demonstrated pretty, harmless spells to the little boy, tickled him, continued the repeating game, and read him a story. Now, once again, Harry was restless and bored looking, and he had no idea what to do.
"Foo," Harry suddenly piped up, grabbing a handful of Sirius's hair again and insistently chewing on it.
"Hey!" Sirius shouted, and quickly yanked the soppy strip of hair out of his godson's mouth.
Harry looked stunned for a minute, and then tears started to well up in his eyes. Sirius knew a tantrum was on its way.
"Foo? What could that be? Food? Do you want to eat?" Sirius asked Harry, but his only response was a little cry of anger that quickly escalated into a wail.
"Food, yes! I'll get you some food!" Sirius shouted over the growing noise.
Out of ideas and being driven crazy by baby screams, Sirius unwrapped a chocolate frog and pushed it into Harry's flailing hands.
There was a moment of silence while Harry considered the treat in his hands. Then he stuffed the chocolate into his mouth and examined the sticky residue on his hands. He giggled, then plastered his hand to Sirius's face.
Sirius rolled his eyes and gave Harry a look of one long suffering as the little boy pulled his hand away from his face, leaving a sticky, melted brown handprint on the side of Sirius's face.
"Well, that calmed you down. You're already messy...do you want another?" he asked, and Harry cooed.
"I guess that's a yes," Sirius replied, then pulled another out of his pocket. He was feeding his personal stash of chocolate that he'd bought earlier to this baby, but somehow, he really didn't care.
You needn't worry if there's chocolate on your hands,
Jelly on your face, porridge on my shirt.
Harry began to talk to himself, babbling incoherently. Sirius smiled gently and moved to put Harry back down in the playpen so he could clean up.
Harry's lip began to tremble and he reached up at Sirius. Sirius felt something tug in his chest at Harry's so clearly distraught expression.
Sighing, Sirius bent over and picked Harry up again. Harry sighed softly, pressing his chocolate covered face against Sirius's neck.
Run to me and I'll be there
To hold you when you hurt.
Harry muttered softly, whining. Sirius immediately gave him another piece of chocolate, and Harry giggled with delight and stuffed it in his mouth. He reached out with a pudgy hand, trying to grasp a hold of Sirius's wand.
"Oh, alright, for a moment," Sirius said, a mischievous glint in his eye. How much could a baby do, anyway?
They'll say "Uncle Charlie can't say no."
They'll say "Uncle Charlie's spoiling you."
They'll say "Uncle Charlie's wrapped around your finger."
I'll say, "Yes, it's true."
Harry grasped his hand around the slip of wood, his eyes brightening with excitement.
"Jic! Jic!" he chanted, and wildly started waving the wand. A vase exploded. Harry laughed aloud, continuing to chant, "Jic", which Sirius assumed was a baby word for 'magic'.
It was clear that Lily and James didn't let Harry interact with magic or wands very often. After a few moments of watching Harry completely destroy everything in the room, including making it snow, he understood why.
"Okay, I'd better take that back..." he muttered, and pulled his wand out of Harry's hand. It was now sticky and chocolate covered.
Sirius set Harry down in a pile of melting snow, and surveyed the damage.
"Shit," he hissed, and Harry looked up at him.
"Sht," he repeated. Sirius stiffened.
"Oh god," he lamented, running a hand through his hair, completely forgetting it was coated with melted baby-chocolate.
"Here, Harry, you play in the snow while Uncle Sirius cleans up. And take this," he passed another piece of chocolate to the little boy.
Harry swished around handfuls of snow, giggling loudly. He began to roll up little balls, determinedly working on stacking them on top of each other.
Sirius went into the kitchen and washed his hands, then surveyed himself in the mirror. He had a sticky handprint on his face, chocolate all over his neck, and greasy, chocolatey hair. He sighed again, and began to wash his face.
There was a frustrated cry from the den, and Sirius turned to look.
Harry was getting upset because his snowballs wouldn't stay on top of each other. He looked hopefully at Sirius, gesturing to the balls in an obvious demand for help.
Sirius shook his head.
"Not right now, Harry," he said impatiently, and Harry's face fell. Sirius winced, afraid that he was going to throw a tantrum.
But he didn't. Harry just sat there, looking dejected. Sirius suddenly felt like a horrible bastard and decided he could finish cleaning himself up later.
They may be busy— I can take you skating
I can take you sledding, flying down the hill
If they won't build a snowman,
Uncle Charlie will.
Harry gave him a sunny grin and watched carefully as Sirius constructed a mini snowman, then conjured up some coal and carrots and let Harry make a face on the snowman. It turned out looking like a Picasso painting, but Harry was enjoying himself so Sirius didn't care.
Harry stared happily at his snowman, then blinked several times and let out an enormous yawn. One of his tiny hands rubbed at his eyes and he looked sleepily up at Sirius.
Sirius smiled despite himself, and picked up the little boy. Heading into the kitchen, he wet a washcloth with warm water and began to wipe off Harry's face and hands.
At first, Harry squirmed as Sirius worked on his hands. Then he let out a little cry, pulling away from the washcloth as Sirius moved to his face.
Sirius looked at the little boy oddly, and Harry pointed at the washcloth and then at his face, whimpering slightly.
"Did I hurt you? Oh, I'm sorry," he said, wincing. That was the last thing he'd wanted to do. Sirius resumed the cleaning, this time using a gentler touch. Sirius was glad no one had been there to see that. He felt ashamed that he was so inadequate with children.
They'll say, "Uncle Charlie holds too tight."
They'll say, "Uncle Charlie can't let go."
They'll say, "Uncle Charlie's not really your uncle, anyway."
You'll say, "No, that isn't so."
Harry yawned again, snuggling against Sirius's chest and gathering up a tight fist of Sirius's shirt. Sirius walked back into the den and tried to put him in his playpen to sleep, but Harry only fussed and refused to let go of his shirt.
"Oh, alright," Sirius said, defeated, and quickly dried a spot on the couch and sat down.
Harry stared at his snowman, smiling broadly, until his eyes fluttered shut and he went to sleep.
Sirius stared down at the sleeping baby, and his mind was suddenly assailed with images. He could see an older Harry—trapped in a tiny, dusty room crying, falling off a broomstick, and going through many other terrible ordeals.
Sirius shook his head and the images faded away, and he only saw the sleeping, peaceful form of Harry snuggled in his chest.
Tears pricked at his vision. Was that what the world had in store for this wonderful, inquisitive little boy? There was a terrible longing inside Sirius, suddenly, for a child of his own. He knew he'd never have one, though. The one person he would have had one with had been gone for over two years. Harry could have just as easily been his son, and he was now a vision of the family he'd never have because of the Dark Lord.
Harry sighed and turned over in his sleep, unconsciously stuffing his thumb into his mouth.
In my heart
I will keep a secret
Foolish little secret
Hidden from the rest.
In my dream
You're my own, my very own,
Lazily swishing his wand, Sirius quickly cleaned up the mess that he and Harry had made before Lily and James got home. He did put a charm on the snowman where it wouldn't melt, and levitated it into Harry's playpen.
He didn't dare move, he didn't want to disturb Harry. He was keeping his chest wonderfully warm, and Harry smelled like pleasant things. Chocolate and snow and baby things. He slowly drifted off to sleep.
Sirius jerked awake as he felt weight lift up off his chest, and saw Lily pulling Harry out of his arms.
"Falling asleep on the job, eh?" James teased goodnaturedly, and Sirius smiled. He knew James meant it as a joke, but the comment cut deep.
"Thank you," Lily said softly, smiling down at Harry who stirred fitfully and sighed again. He smiled in his sleep, recognizing his mother's scent.
"Yeah, thanks a lot," James seconded. Sirius stood up and stretched, trying to hide how hurt he was. All he wanted was a couple more hours with little Harry, and James was teasing him about doing a bad job. It was like putting lemon in a papercut.
"It's late. I'll see you guys later." Sirius said dismissively, and grabbed his coat, rushing out the door. Several tears spilled down his cheek as he prepare to apparate, and as he tried to squash painful longing in his chest.
Charlie, he's not yours.
Charlie, in his life, your part is very small.
But if one day a toy should break
Or maybe playing patty-cale
You call me Daddy by mistake
...I won't mind at all.
By Sabaye Leyr
Summary: Sirius is given the task of caring for baby Harry for a day, and his thoughts wander. A one-shot based after "I Won't Mind" from "The Other Franklin"
Crickets chirped softly, their cries cutting through the thick August night. Sirius Black stood on the doorstep of the Potters, shifting nervously. James had recruited him to watch his young son, Harry, while he and Lily had some "quality time". Sirius had adamantly refused, but James had pointed out that Remus wasn't available and he didn't really trust Peter with a baby, so he had grudgingly agreed.
The door swung open to reveal James Potter. He leaned against the doorframe, peering at Sirius and smirking evilly.
"Wow, you're really uptight about this, aren't you Padfoot?" James snickered, and Sirius gave him a dark glare.
"Shut up. I don't do babies." Sirius replied, running a hand through his dark hair. James's eyes twinkled.
"I should hope not. Lily wouldn't want to leave Harry with a pedophile." He chuckled as Sirius glared at him and shoved past him into the house.
Lily was scurrying around the living room of the small, cozy Potter house, gathering together anything that Sirius possibly might need to take care of her son.
Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"Is she always like this?" he asked in a low voice. James nodded.
"She even does it when she leaves Harry with me. It's like she doesn't trust me or something,"
Sirius snorted.
"Maybe that's because you let him get into your potions ingredients and he burned a hole in the carpet." Sirius said, and James glared at him.
Lily finally stopped dashing around the house, and approached Sirius, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Hey, Sirius," she said absentmindedly, gazing at the pile of stuff she'd placed on the couch. James gently took her by the arm, and pulled her towards the door.
"We're going to be late, Lily. Harry will be fine," James said soothingly, handing Lily her purse.
Lily nodded again, then turned to look at Sirius.
"He's just been fed, so he should be okay for a while," She explained, and Sirius nodded, making shooing motions in the direction of the door.
"Fine, now go, before you're late," he said, but Lily didn't move. She began to tick off things on her fingers.
"No brooms, no wands, no practical joking devices of any sort. Don't let him roll around in the mud if you decide to take him outside. No midnight joyrides on your motorcycle with him along. Oh, and no potions sets," she added, glaring at James. James shrugged.
"I will take good care of your son, woman, now go," Sirius said again, pushing Lily towards the open door.
After a moment, Lily sighed and let James pull her out the door.
"Mommy'll be back soon. Have fun with Uncle Sirius," Lily called to her son, who giggled at the sound of her voice.
"Have a good time," Sirius told them as he closed the door. Then he turned and looked into the living room.
Harry was in his playpen, standing up and grasping at the padded sides of it. He was staring at Sirius, blinking expectantly at him.
Sirius wandered over into the room and settled down on the floor. He sat cross-legged across from Harry, who merely stood in place and gazed at him. Occasionally he'd stamp his feet and grin.
I won't mind
Sitting by your cradle,
Singing to you softly
Far into the night.
"Sooo..." Sirius said after a couple minutes. Was this all babies did? Hang onto the edge of a playpen and stare?
Harry reached out over the edge of the playpen, his little hand grasping for something out of his reach.
With only one hand holding on to he edge, the baby quickly lost his balance and fell into the playpen, landing on his behind.
Sirius briefly panicked. What if he had hurt himself, and now he'd start screaming? Sirius hated baby screaming.
Sirius crawled over to the playpen and leaned over the side to look at Harry. Harry glanced up at him and giggled.
Sirius let out a sigh of relief.
"Well then, you're a tough little guy, aren't you?" he said softly, and Harry cooed at being spoken to.
"Bu," he said plainly, and Sirius gave him an odd look.
"What?" he said, and Harry's brow furrowed.
"Bu!" he said more insistently. Sirius didn't say anything, just continued to look at him oddly.
"Bu! Bu!" Harry cried, and reached out, his seeking hand grabbing a fist full of Sirius's hair.
"Ow! Shit!" Sirius said, and immediately clamped a hand over his mouth. No cursing around the baby. No cursing around the baby.
He pried Harry's hand loose and looked at the little boy again. He was starting to look fussy, because this strange man didn't understand what he wanted.
Harry climbed to his knees and wobbled, then pressed his hands over Sirius's eyes, and cried "Bu!" again.
"...do you want to play peek-a-boo?" Sirius asked a moment later, while Harry still had his hands all over his face.
"Bu." Harry repeated.
"I guess so," Sirius said, then took Harry's hands off his face, quickly covering his face with his own hands.
Harry clapped, happy that he was getting what he wanted.
Sirius flipped his hands open and shouted, "Boo!"
Harry giggled madly, and immediately copied Sirius.
I won't mind
Playing peek-a-boo for hours
To see that look of wonder
Wonder and delight
A grin split Sirius's face as he watched his godson. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. He could deal with doing this all night.
Soon, however, Harry became bored and refused to play anymore.
"Great, what am I supposed to do now," Sirius muttered, and Harry made an unintelligible noise.
He had stood up in the playpen and was lifting his arms up, making frustrated noises.
At a loss, Sirius reached into the playpen and picked the little boy up.
"Goo," Harry said firmly, an immediately snuggled into Sirius's chest.
Sirius felt something melt inside him, and he looked down at the tiny form that was absently petting his dark, shoulder length hair.
Harry's face was round and inquisitive, and consisted mostly of large, brilliant green eyes framed by dark lashes. He had a messy mop of raven hair, but to Sirius's amusement, he could see a stray red hair here and there. Harry squirmed, then gazed up at Sirius, giving him a huge grin.
"Awww..." Sirius found himself saying, then gently brushed a stray piece of hair out of Harry's eyes.
Harry pointed at Sirius's mouth."Mooth." he said proudly.
"Mouth, you mean?" Sirius corrected. Harry squirmed again and repeated it.
Sirius took Harry's hand and put it on the little boy's mouth.
"Mouth," he dictated, and his eyes twinkled as he got a response of "Mooth."
Sirius then moved Harry's hand up to his tiny nose, and explained to him what that was. He laughed when Harry proudly repeated, "No," for "nose".
Soon they'll be asking,"Where is Baby's nose?
Where is Baby's shoe? Where is Baby's hat?"
"Clever little boy," they'll say.
"Charlie taught him that."
Much to Sirius's dismay, Harry seemed to have the same attention deficit problem his father had and would not stay engrossed in any activity for any amount of time. He'd demonstrated pretty, harmless spells to the little boy, tickled him, continued the repeating game, and read him a story. Now, once again, Harry was restless and bored looking, and he had no idea what to do.
"Foo," Harry suddenly piped up, grabbing a handful of Sirius's hair again and insistently chewing on it.
"Hey!" Sirius shouted, and quickly yanked the soppy strip of hair out of his godson's mouth.
Harry looked stunned for a minute, and then tears started to well up in his eyes. Sirius knew a tantrum was on its way.
"Foo? What could that be? Food? Do you want to eat?" Sirius asked Harry, but his only response was a little cry of anger that quickly escalated into a wail.
"Food, yes! I'll get you some food!" Sirius shouted over the growing noise.
Out of ideas and being driven crazy by baby screams, Sirius unwrapped a chocolate frog and pushed it into Harry's flailing hands.
There was a moment of silence while Harry considered the treat in his hands. Then he stuffed the chocolate into his mouth and examined the sticky residue on his hands. He giggled, then plastered his hand to Sirius's face.
Sirius rolled his eyes and gave Harry a look of one long suffering as the little boy pulled his hand away from his face, leaving a sticky, melted brown handprint on the side of Sirius's face.
"Well, that calmed you down. You're already messy...do you want another?" he asked, and Harry cooed.
"I guess that's a yes," Sirius replied, then pulled another out of his pocket. He was feeding his personal stash of chocolate that he'd bought earlier to this baby, but somehow, he really didn't care.
You needn't worry if there's chocolate on your hands,
Jelly on your face, porridge on my shirt.
Harry began to talk to himself, babbling incoherently. Sirius smiled gently and moved to put Harry back down in the playpen so he could clean up.
Harry's lip began to tremble and he reached up at Sirius. Sirius felt something tug in his chest at Harry's so clearly distraught expression.
Sighing, Sirius bent over and picked Harry up again. Harry sighed softly, pressing his chocolate covered face against Sirius's neck.
Run to me and I'll be there
To hold you when you hurt.
Harry muttered softly, whining. Sirius immediately gave him another piece of chocolate, and Harry giggled with delight and stuffed it in his mouth. He reached out with a pudgy hand, trying to grasp a hold of Sirius's wand.
"Oh, alright, for a moment," Sirius said, a mischievous glint in his eye. How much could a baby do, anyway?
They'll say "Uncle Charlie can't say no."
They'll say "Uncle Charlie's spoiling you."
They'll say "Uncle Charlie's wrapped around your finger."
I'll say, "Yes, it's true."
Harry grasped his hand around the slip of wood, his eyes brightening with excitement.
"Jic! Jic!" he chanted, and wildly started waving the wand. A vase exploded. Harry laughed aloud, continuing to chant, "Jic", which Sirius assumed was a baby word for 'magic'.
It was clear that Lily and James didn't let Harry interact with magic or wands very often. After a few moments of watching Harry completely destroy everything in the room, including making it snow, he understood why.
"Okay, I'd better take that back..." he muttered, and pulled his wand out of Harry's hand. It was now sticky and chocolate covered.
Sirius set Harry down in a pile of melting snow, and surveyed the damage.
"Shit," he hissed, and Harry looked up at him.
"Sht," he repeated. Sirius stiffened.
"Oh god," he lamented, running a hand through his hair, completely forgetting it was coated with melted baby-chocolate.
"Here, Harry, you play in the snow while Uncle Sirius cleans up. And take this," he passed another piece of chocolate to the little boy.
Harry swished around handfuls of snow, giggling loudly. He began to roll up little balls, determinedly working on stacking them on top of each other.
Sirius went into the kitchen and washed his hands, then surveyed himself in the mirror. He had a sticky handprint on his face, chocolate all over his neck, and greasy, chocolatey hair. He sighed again, and began to wash his face.
There was a frustrated cry from the den, and Sirius turned to look.
Harry was getting upset because his snowballs wouldn't stay on top of each other. He looked hopefully at Sirius, gesturing to the balls in an obvious demand for help.
Sirius shook his head.
"Not right now, Harry," he said impatiently, and Harry's face fell. Sirius winced, afraid that he was going to throw a tantrum.
But he didn't. Harry just sat there, looking dejected. Sirius suddenly felt like a horrible bastard and decided he could finish cleaning himself up later.
They may be busy— I can take you skating
I can take you sledding, flying down the hill
If they won't build a snowman,
Uncle Charlie will.
Harry gave him a sunny grin and watched carefully as Sirius constructed a mini snowman, then conjured up some coal and carrots and let Harry make a face on the snowman. It turned out looking like a Picasso painting, but Harry was enjoying himself so Sirius didn't care.
Harry stared happily at his snowman, then blinked several times and let out an enormous yawn. One of his tiny hands rubbed at his eyes and he looked sleepily up at Sirius.
Sirius smiled despite himself, and picked up the little boy. Heading into the kitchen, he wet a washcloth with warm water and began to wipe off Harry's face and hands.
At first, Harry squirmed as Sirius worked on his hands. Then he let out a little cry, pulling away from the washcloth as Sirius moved to his face.
Sirius looked at the little boy oddly, and Harry pointed at the washcloth and then at his face, whimpering slightly.
"Did I hurt you? Oh, I'm sorry," he said, wincing. That was the last thing he'd wanted to do. Sirius resumed the cleaning, this time using a gentler touch. Sirius was glad no one had been there to see that. He felt ashamed that he was so inadequate with children.
They'll say, "Uncle Charlie holds too tight."
They'll say, "Uncle Charlie can't let go."
They'll say, "Uncle Charlie's not really your uncle, anyway."
You'll say, "No, that isn't so."
Harry yawned again, snuggling against Sirius's chest and gathering up a tight fist of Sirius's shirt. Sirius walked back into the den and tried to put him in his playpen to sleep, but Harry only fussed and refused to let go of his shirt.
"Oh, alright," Sirius said, defeated, and quickly dried a spot on the couch and sat down.
Harry stared at his snowman, smiling broadly, until his eyes fluttered shut and he went to sleep.
Sirius stared down at the sleeping baby, and his mind was suddenly assailed with images. He could see an older Harry—trapped in a tiny, dusty room crying, falling off a broomstick, and going through many other terrible ordeals.
Sirius shook his head and the images faded away, and he only saw the sleeping, peaceful form of Harry snuggled in his chest.
Tears pricked at his vision. Was that what the world had in store for this wonderful, inquisitive little boy? There was a terrible longing inside Sirius, suddenly, for a child of his own. He knew he'd never have one, though. The one person he would have had one with had been gone for over two years. Harry could have just as easily been his son, and he was now a vision of the family he'd never have because of the Dark Lord.
Harry sighed and turned over in his sleep, unconsciously stuffing his thumb into his mouth.
In my heart
I will keep a secret
Foolish little secret
Hidden from the rest.
In my dream
You're my own, my very own,
Lazily swishing his wand, Sirius quickly cleaned up the mess that he and Harry had made before Lily and James got home. He did put a charm on the snowman where it wouldn't melt, and levitated it into Harry's playpen.
He didn't dare move, he didn't want to disturb Harry. He was keeping his chest wonderfully warm, and Harry smelled like pleasant things. Chocolate and snow and baby things. He slowly drifted off to sleep.
Sirius jerked awake as he felt weight lift up off his chest, and saw Lily pulling Harry out of his arms.
"Falling asleep on the job, eh?" James teased goodnaturedly, and Sirius smiled. He knew James meant it as a joke, but the comment cut deep.
"Thank you," Lily said softly, smiling down at Harry who stirred fitfully and sighed again. He smiled in his sleep, recognizing his mother's scent.
"Yeah, thanks a lot," James seconded. Sirius stood up and stretched, trying to hide how hurt he was. All he wanted was a couple more hours with little Harry, and James was teasing him about doing a bad job. It was like putting lemon in a papercut.
"It's late. I'll see you guys later." Sirius said dismissively, and grabbed his coat, rushing out the door. Several tears spilled down his cheek as he prepare to apparate, and as he tried to squash painful longing in his chest.
Charlie, he's not yours.
Charlie, in his life, your part is very small.
But if one day a toy should break
Or maybe playing patty-cale
You call me Daddy by mistake
...I won't mind at all.