chapter.2...lucas

Unbelieveable. Every morning I wake up not believing the stupid things I did. Now here I am, alone in my room. If I hadn't screwed everything up, Brooke and I would have still been together and everything would be perfect just like it was supposed to be. Sometimes at night I laid awake thinking about her and the things we could have had.

She avoids me every chance she gets. One day she walked into my mom's café, but when she saw I was there she immediately left. I felt so ashamed. A night last winter Brooke saw Peyton and me out and about. She wouldn't even look at us even though I knew she saw us. She looked so amazing. Everything about her was perfect. Her hair, her clothes, her confidence.

Some days were better than others. There were days when I wanted to be with Brooke more than others and now that school was out and we had graduated, I missed her more than ever and since Peyton and I weren't even together I had to get her back.

Peyton and I had what some would call a one night stand. We had the kind of relationship where we both gave into each other on occasion. I despised myself after it happened, knowing that it always got back to Brooke. This time it was my fault she found out. The look on Brooke's face when she found out plays over and over again in my head everyday.

Flashback to September Senior Year

For the past two years after every period, I met Brooke at her locker and walked her to her next class. When I went to her locker that day, she wasn't there. She was always there. I turned around to see Peyton running toward me. By the look on her face, I could tell something was wrong.

She spoke out of breath, "Lucas, where is your cell phone. I called, someone answered," She was talking so fast I could hardly understand, "I told."

I put my hands on her shoulders, "Calm down. You told what?"

She shrugged my hands off her body, "I told something, about... us."

My heart began to race. I reached into my pockets in search for my phone. Then I remembered where it was. "Brooke had it." Before I could finish my thought, Hailey and Brooke came out of the bathroom.

Brooke looked furious. Her face was red, a combination of anger and tears. Hailey followed a few steps behind to make sure Brooke wouldn't say or do anything she would regret.

Her head was looking down. She wouldn't look at Peyton or me. I watched her shake her head. Hailey stood at her side. Brooke slowly raised her head to look at me. Peyton was right next to me standing across from Hailey. No one spoke.

Nathan walked up from behind Brooke and Hailey, "Hales, even after we studied last night, I bet I got a C." He looked around at all of us and then to Brooke. "You missed one hell of a test. Where were you?"

Hailey tapped him on the shoulder and whispered into his ear, "Now's not the time."

He looked around at us once more, "oh," he said realizing what was going on.

We were broken into sides. Peyton and I on one and Brooke, Hailey, and Nathan on the other. I hadn't expected Nathan to be on my side, but I had thought Hailey would be.

I watched Brooke reach into her purse and pull out my cell phone. She threw it at me, bit her lip, and broke the silence. "If I had known you were expecting a phone call, I would have made sure to give you your phone back."

Peyton spoke up before I could reply. "Brooke," She said starting to move closer to Brooke. I pulled her back. "It's not what you think."

"You," Brooke pointed to Peyton, "Don't even talk to me." Hailey tapped her on the shoulder and Brooke held up one finger in front of Hailey's face. "It's not what I think?" She laughed. "Well, jeez Peyton since this has never happened before, I guess I have every reason under the sun to believe you right?"

"Come on, Brooke." Peyton reached for Brooke arm.

Brooke quickly moved it away. "I thought I said don't talk to me."

Hailey took Brooke by the arm, "Come on, we don't want to be late for class." Brooke nodded and walked away from Peyton and I, without looking back.

During third period I decided to confess everything to Brooke. Our relationship had been based on the truth and I had broken that trust. Brooke always had issues with trust and truth and now I knew why. It was because of people like me.

I sat in English class staring at a blank sheet of paper contemplating whether or not to write her a note. I came to the conclusion that I should. I picked up my pen and began to write.

Brooke, I know right now I am one of the last people you want to talk, but please hear me out. I know what I did was wrong and I have been kicking myself in the ass everyday since it happened just thinking about what I did to you. You don't need to know when it was but you do need to know why I did it. I knew that I loved you but I just had to make sure that I didn't still have feelings for Peyton and I don't. I am sure that seems so stupid to you right now, but please just give me another chance. I sware on everything that I won't screw up again. We have been through a lot and I am hoping that you will take this as graciously as you have taken everything else. I love you and I hope you still feel the same way. Love You, Luke

I folded the note and prepared to give it to Hailey to give to Brooke before next period. When the bell rang I rushed out of the classroom and saw Hailey in the hall. She was alone now was my chance. I gave her the note and asked her to give it to Brooke. "I will try," She said, "But I am not making any promises."

The note came back to me during lunch. Nathan brought it to me. Scribbled across where I had written were the words, Screw You, in red marker. This was going to be harder than I had expected.