Title: Forever And A Day
Author: Accidental Human Contact
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Logan/Alec, mentions of Logan/Max and Alec/other
Story Notes: AU, events deviating from cannon about half way through season 2.
Summary: Logan, Alec and the long road after the fallout.
Author's Note: Huge shout out to my beta, Leah. Thank you so much for putting up with my fandom prattle. ("oh please logan you walking cliché with a 'not so secret' western fetish" -raises hand- guilty) This one's for you.
All mistakes are mine. Grammar is a pipe dream.
Logan closed his eyes against the rushing winds and breathed deeply, focusing on his other senses. Head tilted back to catch the sun's warmth across his face, cool breeze sneaking round the body in front of him and leeching through his leather jacket, the vibrations traveling through his hands via his companion's waist -Alec was humming again- and the constant steady thrum of the bike between his legs. It was a good day. The weight that pooled in his chest had eased for today. The lonely highway stretched away into the distance. It had been weeks since they'd found evidence of anyone on their tail. Logan smiled at the sky and felt like he meant it.
They'd made quite a tidy sum at the last township they'd stopped in. Alec had gotten a gig bartending, a job they'd found was easy to pick up and easier still to walk away from, and Logan had scored a job cataloguing the town patron's latest additions to his library. The old man had been your typical mild mannered scholar in all but two things, the shrewd gleam in his gaze and the sharp edge to his smile. Logan had liked him instantly. Mr Collins, "Call me Theo, my boy", would join him in on his break and they would discuss many things, things Logan had thought himself long since incapable of discussing. The tired old man had earned his trust with his gentle manner and talk of 'better times'.
They lodged in a room above the bar, small, yet surprisingly well furnished. In the late afternoon, after Logan returned for the day and before Alec headed downstairs for his shift, they would lie on the bed, talking softly and occasionally playing the indoor version of 'find shapes in the clouds'. The ceiling's mass of spider-web cracks and peeling plaster made for some interesting finds. Alec liked the sort-of-gnome with the enormous nose shape, but Logan's favourite was the tiny rose in the corner above the nightstand.
For the first time since leaving the city, Logan felt reluctant to move on. They could find a life together here, if they wanted it. The locals knew them by name.
Nonetheless, once his job was done, the last item catalogued and his pay in his back pocket, Logan had jumped back on the motorcycle and roared off into what should have been the sunset once again.
They stood in front of the roadside icebox; Logan, drink in hand, was staring out across flat stretch of land, waiting for Alec to make his selection.
"Logan?"
"…yeah?"
"You're spacing again, my man."
"Oh. Sorry."
(pause)
"So, wanna know where we're heading now?"
"Alec, I know where we're heading now. I'm the one who decided which direction we'd take this time, remember?"
"Oh yeah… I still say was should head south. I want to see the World's Largest Ball Of Twine at least once. The guidebook told me I should go. I want to go. I think I owe that to myself."
"You know, you could be right. A life lived without seeing the World's Largest Ball Of Twine is a life not lived at all."
"That's the spirit."
-sigh-
"You do that a lot. The sighing thing. You know, one of these days I might actually get offended."
"Well, yes, usually my sigh indicates long suffering—but this sigh was, um, actually a sigh of… contentment."
"…yeah?"
"Yeah."
"…good."
Alec clasped his shoulder with a wide grin and gave him a brisk shake.
The small town they pulled into later that afternoon was very… quiet.
"A little -too- quiet…" Logan couldn't help muttering to himself, but found really couldn't bring himself to care. Alec's arm shot out to stop him dismounting. "Logan-- I don't like it. We should keep moving." Logan sighed, his sigh very much a sigh of long suffering. "Alec, it's going to be freezing out tonight. And huddling for warmth by the roadside really isn't that, you know, warm." Logan swung himself off the bike. Alec shot him a wounded look.
"I think I'm offended. I thought you liked our huddling." He paused. "Logan, get back on the bike. This place, it…" He trailed off. Logan blinked.
"What? It what?" Alec smiled ruefully.
"Okay, this is going to sound completely crazy, but this town-- it smells like death. Like gunfire and blood."
Logan stared at Alec for one long moment, long enough to give Alec hope the other man was actually going to listen to him this time, then turned around and walked towards what would pass for accommodation at the end of the street. He ignored Alec's plaintive "Logan. Logan!" behind him.
Logan wondered when he'd stopped really seeing the squalor some of the people in these country towns lived in. The city, now, the city was a broken thing, diseased and dirty… but still, it -thrived-. These outer townships were lucky if they were limping through day-to-day life, and not all were fortunate enough to be nurtured by men like Theodore J. Collins.
The man's office was less an office, more a cupboard with a chair in it. The man himself was balding and scrawny, but seemed to be trying desperately to make up for it with a loud hawaiian shirt and a huge pair of yellow sunglasses.
"Sumptin' I can do fer you, son?"
"I'm, ah, I'm looking for a room, for me and my friend. I can pay cash."
"Who's this friend of yours? Cause I don't let my rooms out to jus' any old person who walks through them doors. You out-of-towners are always messing the place up, an' I ain't gonna stand fer it, you hear?"
Logan, baffled, merely nodded. "Yes, sir. I hear. No… messing. We can do that. And my friend…"
"…is right here. Pleasure to meet you sir." Alec was suddenly there, breath moist against Logan's neck in the cramped room. The little man looked them both up and down, a sneer twisting his face. "Weeeell, okay. I'll give you a room. But only cause I got no one in at the moment an' I needs the money. You boys got the place to yerself. I close up out front in 'bout 5 minutes. No more lettin' rooms after five-thirty. That means that any stuff that gets messed up… I know who done the messing." Glaring at them once more for good measure, he handed over a set of keys. "Room's down the back, bathroom's up the hall to yer left. Have a good night, gentlemen."
"What stuff do you suppose the last 'out-of-towners' messed with, exactly?"
Logan shrugged. "Maybe they flipped the mattress over. Or pushed it against the other wall."
"Maybe the mattress was the only thing to survive the messin'."
They stood just inside the doorway to their room. The room was bare except for a flickering light bulb and a ratty mattress. They looked at each other in silence. Alec gently touched his hand to Logan's cheek and turned away to throw their bag in the corner. "Well, since we're staying in town, may as well take advantage of the facilities. 'M gonna go grab a hot shower." Logan stared Alec for a long moment, then took a step toward the X5. It felt like a supplication. "How about I join you?" And that felt like contrition.
His cries died away, echoing across the tiles. The hot water pounded across his shoulders, cloying steam choking his lungs as his breathing struggled to even itself out again. Logan clung to Alec. Alec, Alec, Alec. The only name that still meant anything to him. They'd come to know each other more intimately than Logan had ever imagined two people could. Shared survival and constant companionship could do that to people, he'd found. His world had taken on a strange, skewed perspective since that day, and if he didn't have memories that indicated otherwise, he might have been certain the universe revolved around the two of them. His world certainly did.
He'd been sure Alec was going to ditch him once they'd safely cleared the city. Instead, Alec had found him a place to heal and watched over him for the ensuing weeks. The first day, after, had been the worst Logan had ever lived through. Ever. The loss of his legs felt like a colossal joke at his expense compared to… He didn't know exactly when his tears had joined the streams of water running across his face, but suddenly he was sobbing aloud and god, he was being supported against a hard chest, strong arms holding him in place. Alec was murmuring softly in his ear, not really saying anything, just small comforting sounds and that was just what Logan needed. He wrapped his arms around Alec's back and buried his face against the other man's neck. Sometimes you just needed to cry.
"So… why do you do it?"
"Hmmm?" He turned to stare at the X5, blinking under the intensity of Alec's gaze in the moonlight. "Do what?"
---They'd just gotten back to their room when the street outside their window had erupted in violence. Stray bullets had Alec grabbing Logan and yanking him to the floor. The overhead light bulb shattered in a shower of glass that rained down across them. Somewhere outside a woman screamed. Logan tried to struggle to his feet. "Logan! No! Logan, stop."
He whirled on the man holding him down. "Alec, we have to get out there. Someone could be hurt!"
"Logan! This isn't what you do anymore, man. You can't-- I'm not going to let you go out there."
"Alec--!"
"No! Stay here, I'll check it out."
Alec had come back looking sick, wiping hands that left dark sticky trails across their towel.----
"Do what?" Logan repeated.
"You know what. Why do always—not put yourself in danger, exactly—just… not get out of its way. We didn't have to stop here. We shouldn't have stopped here, and you know it."
Logan pulled himself upright, indignation fueling his tired muscles. "Alec, how could I possibly have known we'd be 'in danger', which we really weren't, by the way."
Alec rolled onto his back, looking up at Logan with muted frustration in his eyes. "Logan, I said this town was bad news. I said that. Did you listen to me? No. Do you ever listen to me? No! I'm trying to -protect- you here, dammit!"
Logan stared back, incredulous. "Excuse me?"
"Logan…" Alec sat up, taking Logan's face roughly between his hands, desperate gaze flicking across Logan's own. "You've got to listen to me, because I am only going to say this once. You have to stop doing this to yourself. You don't-- you don't even really understand you're doing it, do you? Willingly playing chance with bad situations that could -easily- be avoided is not, is not healthy. Stop this passive-aggressive death-seeking bullshit. Max wouldn't want this. It's not going to give you back to her." Logan started struggling the moment Alec mentioned her name. He wrested himself free from Alec's grasp. He batted at the hands seeking purchase on his arms. "FUCK YOU, Alec! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck…" he drew in a ragged breath. "You have no idea what you're talking about. You have -no fucking clue-…" And suddenly Alec was there, face inches from his own, eyes desperately soft and pained. "I do, Logan. I do. I saw the girl I love die in front of me. I saw it, twice. She was in a coma because of me so don't tell me… And now-- god, if anything ever happened to you-- I couldn't…" Alec's gaze dropped to the mattress and when he looked up again, his eyes were shining. Logan stilled. Alec closed his eyes, took a deep shuddering breath, and when he opened them again they were clear. "She's gone Logan. Fuck. You getting yourself killed won't bring you back together. She's -dead-, Logan. Max's -gone-." Logan cried out once, hoarse and anguished, and lunged at the X5, taking a swing Alec easily avoided. "Oh, so that's how it's going to be? Ooo yeah, rough love baby. Come on, I can take it." This time his fist connected. Logan didn't want to realize that Alec had let it land. The other man looked at him calmly, wincing a little as he massaged his jaw. Logan met his stare in silence, breath coming in deep ragged gasps. Alec. He pulled Alec's hand away from his jaw, replacing it with his own. No more passive-aggressive bullshit. He could do that.
He was expecting to dream about her that night. It used to be he'd dream about her every night. In those first few weeks he was plagued with terrible, dark dreams. Dreams of her standing, broken and limping, and he'd see her fall. Over and over again. He'd see her fall from the safety of Alec's arms half a city block away. After a while, those dreams were replaced by dreams that were not just dreams, but memories. Impressions. He'd wake with the feeling of her hands on his skin and her name on his lips. He felt betrayed by his subconscious the first night he'd not dreamed of her.
Now, he usually dreams of flying, the land blurring around them, wind whipping through their hair, road stretching out into forever in front of them. Alec is always with him. Logan leans against that broad back, feeling the muscles shift under his weight… or has that strong, solid presence at his back, a line of heat wrapped round his spine… Alec is always there. Even in his sleep he couldn't escape the man. Logan resented him just a little for that.
He'd expected to dream of her that night though, and when Max didn't appear, Logan woke with the feeling he'd maybe died a little inside.
When he got back from the bathroom, Alec was stuffing their sweats back into the bag. Logan picked up the bloody towel with a grimace. "What should we do with this?"
Alec looked up and favoured Logan with a bright smile. "Morning to you too, sunshine. I slept fine, thanks for asking." Logan rolled his eyes.
"Good morning, Alec. I trust you slept well. Now, what are we going to do with the blood caked towel?"
Alec shrugged. "Trash it. We can pick up a new one when we stop for supplies tomorrow. There's this town, couple of miles down the highway. According to this" he waved his guidebook, "they make 'the best waffles in the state'. The best waffles in the state, Logan."
"You know, I've always thought people should have to substantiate claims like that."
"Logan, best in the state or not, you, me and those waffles have a date with destiny."
Logan raised his brows skeptically. "Uh huh. And by 'date with destiny', you do of course mean you're going to devour stacks of waffles while I look on in fascinated horror?"
Alec threw the bag over his shoulder and shooed Logan out the door. "Yep. Except you know as well as I do that you're going to sit there being all high browed about it until you get a whiff of my waffles. Then we'll see who's devouring what, my friend."
They rode all morning, Logan riding up front with Alec shouting old rock songs to the heavens behind him. Logan, catching Alec's enthusiasm for the day, howled along to most of the tunes he knew and some of the ones he didn't. Every now and then Alec ran an affectionate hand down his side and Logan grinned like a fool. Late afternoon found them idling in the shade beside a small riverbed. Alec was sitting lotus position on a large rock, tossing pebbles and bits of grass into the water. Logan was leaning back against a dried up old tree watching him, one of his beaten novels thrown aside. He wished Alec hadn't mentioned her name last night. Not like that. Saying it made it -real- in a way Logan was unwilling to acknowledge. She was always there, hovering somewhere at the back of his mind… but he hadn't actively thought of her for more than a while. He did so now, and was surprised that the weight of his pain didn't make him gasp anymore. He liked to think she was still kicking round the city, remembering him with a lot more whimsy and little less pain than his memories of her. If she were still alive, at least she'd would've known he'd made it out of the city alive. And she'd know Alec was with him. She was the one who called him.
----Bright, sharp agony set his body on fire as he was dragged to his feet. He nearly whited out when forced to move. "Come on Logan, move!" Max… Centering himself on her voice helped clear his head. He looked at her, limping along beside him. Her black tank was in tatters, her ruined chest messy and wet. Oh. Oh god. He swallowed convulsively. Wait… how did they get down to the street? They'd been in his apartment… Memory assaulted him and he saw -Max, shimmering in the candlelight, smiling across the table… then the men burst through his door and opened fire.-
He fell to his knees, gagging. Max fell beside him. "Logan! Get up! We haven't got time for this!" He snapped upright and grasped her outstretched hand, hauling her to her feet. She couldn't support herself. Her—her leg was…
Oh. Small, dark alleys make for good hiding. Good choice Max. The world spun in and out of nauseating focus. Max's voice seemed to come at him in waves. "It's Max…not me… Eyes Only has a lot of enemies …no I can't… I'm in a lot of… I need you to… get him out of the city, they know… Alec… need your help…"
Small, leather coated hands had brushed across his brow. Lots of feet, running, somewhere close. Later, there were more hands. Large, warm hands. Voices.
"…not safe for him…"
"Max, you need…"
"…not negotiable. He needs someone who can… hold them…so many…"
"You're not in any condition… can't walk… Max, no… I should be the one…"
"…distract them. I can take… can't take care of him like this…"
"Max, no, let me…"
"Take care of him for me Alec."
She was close again. He could feel her. She said words. A few brief, beautiful words in a tender broken voice and he cried out as she left.
Hands on him again, lifting him, carrying him. Indeterminate seconds/minutes/hours later… and motion halted as loud bursts of gunfire spattered… then ceased. No. No. Nononono… he was screaming, voiceless, and then they were moving again and then… nothing----
"...yo, big guy, anybody home? Yes? No?"
Logan pulled back from Alec's hand waving in front of his face. He blinked, taking a second to orientate himself. River. Trees. Bike. Alec. Alec grinned down at him, and when he darted forward to lick that palm, the grin turned feral. Logan took a moment to savour the tang of salty Alec skin before Alec's mouth came crashing down to meet his own. He whined into the kiss, reaching up to grab a rough handful of Alec's hair. Alec grunted and swung himself down to straddle Logan's thighs. "Need you…" he gasped desperately into Alec's ear. Need you, oh dear fucking christ -need-…
They camped out by the river that night. Logan poked at the fire with a stick while Alec rummaged through their pack. "Hmmm, tonight's menu ain't that hot." He turned to Logan "Would sir prefer the 'Chicken Corn Chowder', or 'Chunky Beef' soup? Just between you and me, the 'Chunky Beef' is excellent tonight." It was Alec's turn to cook, which Logan had decided was almost as bad as when he had to do it himself. Possibly worse. "No, Alec you can't… what're you… It's soup in a tin! It's not that difficult!" After they'd eaten, and Alec had rinsed the dishes in the stream, he'd turned to Logan, eyes intent. "So, where's my tip? Didn't realize you were such a tight ass, Cale. Oh wait… no, I -did- already know that." Alec leered. Logan flinched in distaste. "Nice, Alec. And technically, since the meal was free, 10% of nothing still equals, well, nothing." Alec stalked towards him.
"Who said it was free?"
Logan sighed, exasperated "Since when have we been charging each other for cooking canned soup?"
"Look, Logan. I'd be willing to overlook the whole 'tip' thing in exchange for… services rendered."
Logan looked up at the X5, raising a brow. "And what kind of… services… might we be talking here?"
Alec roughly grasped Logan's jaw, smiling softly. "I'm sure you'll buy a clue any second now."
Logan leaned back, licking his lips thoughtfully.
Alec unconsciously traced the movement with his eyes. "So? Verdict?"
Logan grinned. "Best in the state."
Alec made an expansive 'well there you go' gesture with his hands. "You see? The guidebook never lies, Logan. You should know that by now…" Logan tuned the banter out, content to just… watch Alec in motion, a small smile playing around the corners of his mouth. Alec broke off his diatribe; aware he had lost his audience. "Logan?" As Logan watched, Alec stilled under his regard—then smiled back at him, the smile giving way to laughter. After a moment, Logan joined him.