This begins the story in the present time. There maybe the occasional flashback, but not like in the other chapters. I just did that to catch everything up. Thanks for all the reviews, I appreciate it so much! I am going out of town this weekend so hopefully I will have one more chapter before I leave. Thanks again!
Chapter.5...brooke
June 17th, 2005
When I was little, no one was hardly ever home at my house. It was almost always just me and the babysitters. They were painfully boring. My babysitters, daughters of my father's colleagues, never lifted a single finger to play with me. What was I supposed to do as a five year old kid with basically no parents and no social life? I did what any other kid in my place would do, I found myself an imaginary friend. Its name was Elephunk. He was an elephant who played every instrument under the moon. We would sit on the front lawn, me singing and him playing his instrument of choice. Lucas reminded me a lot of Elephunk, they were the perfect listeners and they both left me at very important times in my life. Sometimes I wished that it would be normal for a teenager to have imaginary friends, they are the best ones.
Speaking of Lucas, I hadn't seen him since the night of graduation. He looked so perfect. The blue of the robes was the exact color of his ocean eyes. When he looked at me that night, his eyes seemed to slowly dim. I couldn't look him in the eyes; I felt so terrible for what I had none to him, but I didn't know what else to do. I had to do it; it was the only right thing to do.
Everything changed after that night in late July last year. I never realized how fast things could change, but now I understand. She had her father's eyes. That blue sparkle. I had hoped she would have his eyes; the eyes which had reminded me of blamelessness so long ago now reminded me of the innocence that was our child. Never in my life would I have accused Lucas of doing anything other than perfect. I held him to a standard that was unattainable. To me, he hung the moon and I prayed at night, when I lay in bed thinking of him, that she would think of him just the same way and that she could be his stars in the sky. Together they could be the flawless blue sky.
I thought we could be flawless. In my mind we were. Our perfection was so rudely interrupted by her one lonely, humid night in mid-August. The day after it happened, I came back in town. I could tell by the dimness in his pristine eyes that something had gone on while I was away. Everyone was appalled at the way I had to find out, or at least they acted like they were.
My eyes stayed on her throughout the entire graduation ceremony. She woke up and fell asleep four times before finally falling asleep for good, well actually until three thirty the next morning. When she yawned her eyes scrunched up and her body wriggled in the slowest motion. She was magnificent. I watched Lucas look at her. When a smile crept across his face, followed by a wink. It almost looked like she recognized him, like she knew that he was a part of her.
He was there the day she came into my life. As if I wasn't in enough physical pain, I guess he didn't want my emotional pain to get jealous so he brought her. He walked in, accompanied by one of the doctors. I over heard everything, "Mr. Scott I know how much you want to be in here, but she is under enough stress and because of the situation you two are in..." I heard Peyton in the background calling out that she was my friend and that I wanted her in the room. In between contractions, I managed to yell out, "Get them out of here! I told her I never wanted to talk to her again." Another contraction shot down my spine. "Especially now!" I watched the door quickly close. I saw Lucas nose in the window of the door. I threw my arm in the air and lowered all my fingers except for the middle one. With that, he left.
When you dream of having a family as a little girl, you never expect to start at the age I started. I never expected to start at the age I started. There for a while I thought I was at a point in my life where I was invincible. That was when Lucas walked into my life. But before he could even get settled in my existence he quickly he walked right back out. With him he took my dreams of being sincerely happy because I knew the only way that I could be the happiest me possible, was if I was with him.
Part of me knew not to go back to him; knowing that giving into him was saying, "Yeah do it again to me. I don't care. I will just let you back again and again and again". The other part of me was screaming at me, "What are you thinking? He was the only person you ever loved. Who cares what he did to you? He is all you think about. You need him". And I did need him. We both needed him.
When it came down to it, I was scared. I knew he was going to Wake Forest in the fall and I didn't want to tag along with him. I knew that my going anywhere with him was going to hold him back from anything that he could make of himself. I also knew that I deserved more than to be treated like someone he didn't even know, someone he didn't even care about. We loved each other. I know that we did. Some girls my age think that just because a guy sleeps with you, he loves you. Guess what? No. Yes, Lucas and I did sleep with each other. But I loved him before we were intimate.
Lucas was the first person who made me want to be truthful. I had never had the urge to tell the truth until I was with him. He made me a completely different person. He made me a better person. But I guess you could say that I made him a worse person. Lucas Scott did not cheat on people, Brooke Davis was not faithful. We had switched places. I was him and he was me. Why couldn't we have been in the same place for one moment in between all the chaos?
I remember the look on Lucas face when he saw her after graduation. She was just over a month old, but already had developed her features. He squatted down next to her stroller and put his hand in. She immediately reached for his index finger and wrapped her tiny fingers around his. He smiled and said, "She has your nose." He ran his hand over her head and looked up at me, "And that hair. I know someone who has chocolate hair like that."
"She has your eyes." He looked up from the baby and at me. Our eyes met for the first time in months. "See." I pointed to her and bent over to fix the blanket that was covering her oh so tiny body.
His face was anxious. "Can I..." He stuttered under the pressure of what was about to be said, "Maybe hold... her?"
Almost in shock, I could barely reply, "Oh." I reached into the stroller to pull her out. Once out, I handed her to Lucas. "Hold her..." I caught myself. He was her father, don't worry so much.
"I know." He butted in. "Her head." Her head lay on his shoulder and her eyes slowly closed.
I watched Nathan and Hailey walk up from behind Lucas. Hailey spoke first. She had seen the baby, unlike Nathan. "Hey baby doll." She ran her hand over the babies head and down its back. She looked at it and said, "Oh." She whispered, "She's sleeping." I nodded as Hailey gave me a hug. "Past few days any better than the days before that?"
I shook my head. "No." I laughed. "I have gotten maybe six hours of sleep in the past three days. But I don't guess that is so bad." I winked at her.
Nathan finally spoke. "So this is my niece?" He asked Lucas.
That was the moment of realization. Lucas lifted his head and looked at me, smiling he looked down at the baby, and then back to Nathan. "Yeah," He held her, now, in the cradle position, "Yeah, this is her."