Title: Despair and Hope
Chapter 12: Hope Returns
Aragorn's eyes flew open. He felt different somehow. As if he was back to normal. He looked down and gasped. His entire body seemed to be glowing with a wonderfully bright, blinding white light.
He stood for a moment in stunned silence, gaping at himself and then suddenly realized what this meant. He watched the light receding into his chest and as it did, he felt a burden being lifted off his shoulders, bit by bit. He watched in wonder as the last of the light disappeared. He felt amazingly exhilarated. Suddenly the full impact of what had just happened hit him. Joy filled him.
But with it came a slight doubt. That doubt had always resided in him before his hope had deserted him, it had become a subconscious emotion, buried far out of recall in the depths of his mind. And now it had resurfaced. He paused. Could he dare hope, he asked himself. And the answer came strong and loud from within him. Yes he could. Of course he could.
Letting out a low cry of joy, he jumped out of bed. A sharp stabbing pain shot through his side. He clutched his side and waited for the pain to subside. He knew he should still be lying down, but he could not contain himself. He had to tell Legolas. He looked down at his bandaged torso and sighed.
Eowyn is going to kill me for this, Aragorn thought wryly. He bent and put on his shoes, ignoring the stabbing pain shooting through his side again at the movement. He walked slowly out of the room, out of the healing quarters and into the main halls. Men were all about drinking, joking and making merry after their astounding victory. He stood, not wanting to disturb them, but one boy- Aragorn recognized him as Haleth, son of Hama- looked up and noticed him.
"My lord!" the boy exclaimed. "My lord, should you not be resting!"
"Never mind that, Haleth. I am glad you survived the war. As I told you, there is always hope. But enough of my preaching. Tell me, have you seen where my friend Legolas is?"
"Yes, my lord. We all saw him. He looked very upset, my lord," the boy hesitated. "He-he could do with some of your preaching right now. We saw him storming off to the armory but ten minutes ago."
Aragorn sped hastily to the armory. He opened the door. It was empty. He looked around spotted a folded piece of paper hung on one of the suits of armor. He took it. It was folded. On top it said, in Legolas's neat handwriting,
May the one who finds this letter deliver it to Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Isildur's heir and ranger from the North.
Aragorn opened it, puzzled. It was written in Elvish, so that there were fewer chances of it being read by any but him.
Aragorn-
It is with deep regret that I write this letter, for I know that its contents will cause you a great deal of anguish. But it is one that I must write, I am compelled to do it, and now I will explain why.
A long time ago, when we met each other for the first time in the woods of Lothlorien, I never thought as much would come of it as it has. I was there to tell Haldir that my mother had passed away. I think he was just as shocked with the change in me as I was recently with the change in you, when you woke up in that box like room without your hopes. I was so cold, ice-cold. My own grief had over-powered me such that I had no time for his, even though I knew that he, being almost a brother to me, was far, far closer to my mother than I ever was. Haldir never had parents. I don't think he told you. My mother was everything to him.
When I told him in clipped tones, without any preliminary warning, he just...withdrew. He didn't break down, his face just went completely blank, and stayed blank. You were a boon then. You taught him how to grieve. You taught me how to grieve. Before I knew it, our common affection for Haldir forged an unbreakable bond between us. I was terrified Aragorn. What if I lost you? You would die one day, I knew, and that day would leave me shattered, as a few shards of glass on a rough stone floor. The only way I managed to evade the pain was by the thought of death. If I killed myself as soon as you died, we would meet in the Halls of Mandos and even there our friendship could continue for as long as we wanted it to.
I never dreamed I would lose you in so harsh way. I lost two friends on the same night, Aragorn. Haldir and Estel. The only things that kept me tied to the earth. There is nothing left for me here anymore. I cannot get over this. Especially now that I know that I shall not meet Estel in the Halls of Mandos, as he is trapped inside the box of a wizard. And knowing that I killed Estel. His death was my fault. He died because I showed signs of weakness when I failed him by not killing that cursed orc.
So I am going to end my pain and misery. In those beautiful halls I will at least have one friend- Haldir. We will both grieve the death of Estel together and move on to the beauty of Valinor. You will find my body in the very spot where I showed my weakness, on the causeway. Please bury me beside my mother. Thank you for the wonderful friendship you have given me, even as Aragorn. I am sorry that I cannot find the heart to live with that friendship alone, without that of Estel's.
Namarie from your loving friend,
Legolas.
Aragorn stared at the letter in speechless shock. It couldn't be true. He glanced at it, almost expecting to hear Legolas's voice, telling him that it wasn't true, none of it was true. Suddenly his instinct kicked in and he began to sprint towards the causeway, letter in hand, hoping, as Estel always did, that he would be in time.
Okay you guys, I am SO sorry. I knew I said last time that this story would end on this chapter, but unfortunately my muses gave me another idea at the last minute (yesterday, in fact) and now it's going to be extended to another chapter. I think it's very mean of my muses to leave you all on another cliffie AGAIN after I said the end was near, and I would kill them, if it didn't mean killing myself.
I hope you didn't get confused while reading this. For those who don't know, or want confirmation, ESTEL AND ARAGORN ARE THE SAME PERSON. OH YEAH, AND ESTEL MEANS HOPE. I should have said that ages ago, I know. I'm sorry.
Okay, for review replies:
To Star-Stallion: Thank you, you don't know how much I appreciate it.
To Grumpy: Thank you for reviewing, and I'm glad you liked the last part, I was afraid it wouldn't go down well!
Thank you to all the people who take the trouble to read this, even if you don't review. But I'm begging you, please do! Even if you know me personally review anyway. Even if you don't like Lotr, review anyway. You know you want to right? Or at least I hope you do.
Bye!
Chapter 12: Hope Returns
Aragorn's eyes flew open. He felt different somehow. As if he was back to normal. He looked down and gasped. His entire body seemed to be glowing with a wonderfully bright, blinding white light.
He stood for a moment in stunned silence, gaping at himself and then suddenly realized what this meant. He watched the light receding into his chest and as it did, he felt a burden being lifted off his shoulders, bit by bit. He watched in wonder as the last of the light disappeared. He felt amazingly exhilarated. Suddenly the full impact of what had just happened hit him. Joy filled him.
But with it came a slight doubt. That doubt had always resided in him before his hope had deserted him, it had become a subconscious emotion, buried far out of recall in the depths of his mind. And now it had resurfaced. He paused. Could he dare hope, he asked himself. And the answer came strong and loud from within him. Yes he could. Of course he could.
Letting out a low cry of joy, he jumped out of bed. A sharp stabbing pain shot through his side. He clutched his side and waited for the pain to subside. He knew he should still be lying down, but he could not contain himself. He had to tell Legolas. He looked down at his bandaged torso and sighed.
Eowyn is going to kill me for this, Aragorn thought wryly. He bent and put on his shoes, ignoring the stabbing pain shooting through his side again at the movement. He walked slowly out of the room, out of the healing quarters and into the main halls. Men were all about drinking, joking and making merry after their astounding victory. He stood, not wanting to disturb them, but one boy- Aragorn recognized him as Haleth, son of Hama- looked up and noticed him.
"My lord!" the boy exclaimed. "My lord, should you not be resting!"
"Never mind that, Haleth. I am glad you survived the war. As I told you, there is always hope. But enough of my preaching. Tell me, have you seen where my friend Legolas is?"
"Yes, my lord. We all saw him. He looked very upset, my lord," the boy hesitated. "He-he could do with some of your preaching right now. We saw him storming off to the armory but ten minutes ago."
Aragorn sped hastily to the armory. He opened the door. It was empty. He looked around spotted a folded piece of paper hung on one of the suits of armor. He took it. It was folded. On top it said, in Legolas's neat handwriting,
May the one who finds this letter deliver it to Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Isildur's heir and ranger from the North.
Aragorn opened it, puzzled. It was written in Elvish, so that there were fewer chances of it being read by any but him.
Aragorn-
It is with deep regret that I write this letter, for I know that its contents will cause you a great deal of anguish. But it is one that I must write, I am compelled to do it, and now I will explain why.
A long time ago, when we met each other for the first time in the woods of Lothlorien, I never thought as much would come of it as it has. I was there to tell Haldir that my mother had passed away. I think he was just as shocked with the change in me as I was recently with the change in you, when you woke up in that box like room without your hopes. I was so cold, ice-cold. My own grief had over-powered me such that I had no time for his, even though I knew that he, being almost a brother to me, was far, far closer to my mother than I ever was. Haldir never had parents. I don't think he told you. My mother was everything to him.
When I told him in clipped tones, without any preliminary warning, he just...withdrew. He didn't break down, his face just went completely blank, and stayed blank. You were a boon then. You taught him how to grieve. You taught me how to grieve. Before I knew it, our common affection for Haldir forged an unbreakable bond between us. I was terrified Aragorn. What if I lost you? You would die one day, I knew, and that day would leave me shattered, as a few shards of glass on a rough stone floor. The only way I managed to evade the pain was by the thought of death. If I killed myself as soon as you died, we would meet in the Halls of Mandos and even there our friendship could continue for as long as we wanted it to.
I never dreamed I would lose you in so harsh way. I lost two friends on the same night, Aragorn. Haldir and Estel. The only things that kept me tied to the earth. There is nothing left for me here anymore. I cannot get over this. Especially now that I know that I shall not meet Estel in the Halls of Mandos, as he is trapped inside the box of a wizard. And knowing that I killed Estel. His death was my fault. He died because I showed signs of weakness when I failed him by not killing that cursed orc.
So I am going to end my pain and misery. In those beautiful halls I will at least have one friend- Haldir. We will both grieve the death of Estel together and move on to the beauty of Valinor. You will find my body in the very spot where I showed my weakness, on the causeway. Please bury me beside my mother. Thank you for the wonderful friendship you have given me, even as Aragorn. I am sorry that I cannot find the heart to live with that friendship alone, without that of Estel's.
Namarie from your loving friend,
Legolas.
Aragorn stared at the letter in speechless shock. It couldn't be true. He glanced at it, almost expecting to hear Legolas's voice, telling him that it wasn't true, none of it was true. Suddenly his instinct kicked in and he began to sprint towards the causeway, letter in hand, hoping, as Estel always did, that he would be in time.
Okay you guys, I am SO sorry. I knew I said last time that this story would end on this chapter, but unfortunately my muses gave me another idea at the last minute (yesterday, in fact) and now it's going to be extended to another chapter. I think it's very mean of my muses to leave you all on another cliffie AGAIN after I said the end was near, and I would kill them, if it didn't mean killing myself.
I hope you didn't get confused while reading this. For those who don't know, or want confirmation, ESTEL AND ARAGORN ARE THE SAME PERSON. OH YEAH, AND ESTEL MEANS HOPE. I should have said that ages ago, I know. I'm sorry.
Okay, for review replies:
To Star-Stallion: Thank you, you don't know how much I appreciate it.
To Grumpy: Thank you for reviewing, and I'm glad you liked the last part, I was afraid it wouldn't go down well!
Thank you to all the people who take the trouble to read this, even if you don't review. But I'm begging you, please do! Even if you know me personally review anyway. Even if you don't like Lotr, review anyway. You know you want to right? Or at least I hope you do.
Bye!