Chapter 9
So dream a little dream for me in hopes that I'll remain, And cry a little cry for me so I can bear the flames, And hurt a little hurt for me, my future is untold, But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds
Bebo Norman, "Hammer Holds"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Innis stretched out her hands, palm up and fingers slightly flexed, and used them to focus her energies. Her inner vision broadened and blanketed the surrounding lands, searching for the unique presence she encountered a few days ago.
She stood at the edge of the angels' mountain with her arms extended while everything around dulled to a hazy shade of gray. Her vision ricocheted from mind to mind searching for the correct vibration of heart, mind, and soul. She skimmed the brains of all those living within the country for hours, and through the fog of minds only one remained constant.
That constant, fervent voice whispered into the forefront of her mind, "Have you found her?"
"No, my lord."
"Have you searched for energy distortions?" The voice was steady and fed her with warmth and energy.
Innis rechanneled her concentration and began peeling back the remnants of energy patterns, tracing back several days. Ripples of power and energy swept past her and then one stopped before it cycled past, freezing all other waves before and behind it. She plucked the pink wave from the rest and angled it in front of her vision. She felt a pulse from it, a lingering and familiar rhythm. It was a temporal energy that twisted before her and it suggested only one thing.
The girl had traveled back to her own time.
Innis opened her eyes and her focus broke. All imprints of energy dispersed without her concentration. She turned sad eyes to her mate.
"She's gone." She looked to him and then looked away. "I have failed."
He brought his hands up to her pale cheeks. She shuddered at his touch and tried to back away. "My love, the girl made her own choice. You fulfilled the role you were meant to play. What more could you do?"
"Our son will have no bride! Surely, a portion of the blame falls upon my shoulders."
He spoke no further, at least not with words. Rather, he entered into her mind and gave her a mental caress, with nothing more than a thought, which slid across her psyche.
Innis forced him out from her mind, "But our bloodlines, my lord! You know we're dying out. If we cannot survive threw the blood of mortals, then our race will disappear entirely." He put a hand to his forehead and winced; she shunted him out too forcefully. "I'm sorry, my lord. I did not. . ." She hesitated when she saw his left hand move to from his side to her face.
He touched the corners of her clouded gray eyes with his thumb and stared at the moistness that he gathered. His finger moved to her cheek and traced her cheekbone before burying his hand in her hair. She leaned her head into his hand as he gently twisted the thick strands of hair around his fingers.
He waited until she breathed softly and the sound of her heartbeat slowed. "What about the hanyou?"
She frowned, "What about him?"
"If the girl is gone, he will be alone." Innis stared at him and the shadow that entered into his eyes, trying to comprehend his meaning. "In the same way you are connected with the girl, I am connected with the hanyou."
"Why did you not tell me?"
"It was your calling to be the messenger, Beloved, not mine. But, I can feel the hanyou's soul, and it is tender, almost to the point of rupturing."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Inuyasha sat with his arms crossed and rested against the well. He looked into the blackness and cursed the unfairness of it all. She had come back, mercilessly planted a foolish hope, and left him again. This time, however, she left him with the full knowledge of what could have been; a life with her, happiness, and a daughter.
The image of his daughter as a woman rushed to his mind. He could see her in a white kimono with blue flowers printed over the delicate fabric. A vivid blue sash was tied around her waist, and her long silver hair was split down the middle of her head and tied back behind her ears in two pigtails with blue ribbons. .
Inuyasha could swear he heard her infectious laughter pulsing in his ears and he reminded himself that this girl should mean nothing to him. After all, she would never be born. Kagome wanted children, but not his children. She wanted Shiro's children, and the thought made him ill.
Unbidden images slammed into Inuyasha's mind, images of precisely what Kagome would be doing with this man in order to have children. A terrible flush tinged his cheeks, coming from a peculiar fusion of anger, jealousy, embarrassment, and mortification.
He leapt over the side of the well.
He hit the dirt bottom, praying for a flashing light to transport him to the future so he could snap every bone in Shiro's hands. He could not touch Kagome then. One side of his mouth quirked up at the thought, but there was no flash of light or the old rush of being thrust years into the future.
"Let me through," Inuyasha hissed, grabbing the soil. He scratched at the dirt and then dug into the coolness of it.
He growled, "It's important!" He threw himself into digging. He pulled the dirt away with ruthless and savage swings. "Please," he begged to the air around him.
No merciful response came and he sunk into the wall of the well with exhaustion. He hit the partitions with a clenched fist, brought a shaking hand up to cover his eyes, and burrowed his head into his chest.
"Feh," he murmured, the words weak even to his own ears.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kagome squinted, the noon sun shining directly into her eyes. It was half past noon, and she sat in the courtyard of a fancy restaurant. The table was made of wrought-iron with a white umbrella overhead. She looked down at the chicken on her plate and then at the man sitting across from her.
He smiled, "Eat, Kagome. You need to get your strength up, especially for the wedding."
"I know."
"We need all the strength we can get," he rolled his eyes, "with all my relatives running around, making things so much more stressful than the need to be."
Kagome took a bite of her chicken, "Don't I know it."
"My mother has got to be driving you insane. She's been running around trying to finalize the exact shade of blue the tablecloths will be and which type of white wine we'll be toasting each other with."
"Your mother is a character," she agreed.
"She's anal."
Kagome frowned, "I didn't say that."
"No, you didn't." Shiro took a bite of his noodles and then pointed his fork at himself, "I did. She's been asking me when she can plan on being a grandmother. And since we're on the subject of grandmothers, are your cheeks bruised yet?"
"Not yet," she grinned sardonically, "but if she keeps pinching and patting my cheeks every five minutes they will be."
Shiro finished his last bite of food, patted his stomach, stretched, and placed his hands behind his head, "She adores you, you know. My whole family does. Uncle Isamu has asked me several times how a lazy kid like me could end up with someone like you."
"He doesn't mean it."
Shiro laughed, "The funny thing is that he does and he's right." He sat up and grabbed Kagome's hand across the table, bringing it to his mouth to kiss it.
"Don't be stupid," Kagome said, dismissing his off-handed compliment.
"You're intelligent, sensitive, patient, and not to mention incredibly hot." He comically scooted his chair back to ogle her legs, lifting his sunglasses to fully appreciate her long limbs. "Why are you with me anyway?" His tone was droll and humorous.
"It's your money," Kagome shot back, wittily.
"Well, that's certainly a good reason." He grinned wickedly, "I must commend you for being a very practical young woman." He grabbed his wine glass, "Let's make a toast to your wisdom and my money." His mannerisms were large and exaggerated.
"Before we do, I must make a confession," Kagome whispered.
"Really?" Shiro's eyebrows lifted in mock surprise. "Well do tell."
"Well," Kagome began pretending to be hesitant, "I'm afraid love may have something to do with it too."
"Love? Are you suggesting that you might be marrying me for love?"
She held up her hands in surrender, "I know, I know. It's very impractical of me."
Shiro leaned into the table, "I must admit to being a little relieved."
"Relieved?" Kagome leaned towards Shiro.
"Well, I must confess that I may love you too."
Kagome grinned, her dimples deepening, "Very impractical of both of us! Well, what are we going to do with ourselves now?"
Shiro shrugged his shoulder and came closer to her, "I suppose we'll have to live happily ever after or something along those lines."
"If we have to we have too," Kagome sighed.
Shiro smiled and put his hand on her neck, guiding her face towards his. He kissed her. His lips were warm and familiar.
Somewhere in the deep folds of her brain, she sensed a frustrated and inconsolable sensation.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sango stood at the base of the old tree and rubbed her hand against the bark that looked white and cracked with the weight of age. She looked up at the branches, staring at Inuyasha. He had not come down from that tree in two days, not since Shippo saw him trying to pass through the Bone Eater's Well.
He refused to come down to help Miroku patrol the neighboring villages. He refused to come down to eat. He refused to come down to play with Taru. He refused to come down to continue training Shippo in the use of his demon powers. His pride had swelled within him and nothing short of the apocalypse would bring him down.
"Inuyasha?" Sango spoke his name softly.
His eyes were shut and he looked asleep, but Sango's eyes were too sharp to deceive and she knew the hanyou too well. She knew the despair hidden behind those heavy lids, and after considering him part of her family for years she developed the ability to read his body language almost as accurately as Kagome could.
"Inuyasha?" She tried again. "I know you're awake. I brought some food."
"You shouldn't have wandered out here this far in your condition. Go home." His voice was concerned rather than agitated.
"I'm pregnant not dying," she retorted. "Will you please come down? Taru has been asking for you."
Inuyasha opened his eyes, looking out into the woods, fidgeting only slightly.
She pressed her cheek against the bark and sighed, "At least come down for a second to eat. I made some noodles."
"Not hungry."
"You can't stay up there forever."
Inuyasha tightened his cross arms and turned his head away from her.
Sango shook her head in frustration, trying to suppress her desire to grab her boomerang and smack him down. Her intention to comfort him was quickly squelched by irritation. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists.
"Go back home, Sango, and mind your own business," he yelled, his belligerence filtering down to her ears.
"I know about everything!" She yelled upwards, "Kagome told me every bit of it."
Inuyasha's head snapped downwards and he gaped at her words.
"I know about the child."
That knowledge did it.
Inuyasha jumped down from the tree, landing a foot or two away from Sango. "Should've known the wench couldn't keep her trap shut. What all did she tell you?"
"She said the two of you were supposed to have a little girl and that she looked a lot like you." Sango stopped at the stricken look on his face and took a large breath before speaking again, "She said the girl was destined to marry an angel to unite the blood of the three races."
Inuyasha threw himself against the wide trunk of the tree and threw his hands up in the air, lashing out at it, "Well, she told you more than she's told me!"
Sango awkwardly moved herself to the ground, kneeling down, "Kagome was confiding to me, Inuyasha. She was upset."
"Why couldn't she tell me?" he cried.
"She was scared. She had no idea of how you'd react and she was so intent on going home."
Inuyasha seemed to curl up within himself and he grimaced. Sango wished she could have sucked her words back in. She had come to comfort him, but all she had accomplished was reminding him of Kagome's departure.
His eyes seemed blank to Sango, empty, but in actuality there was a flurry of action behind the vacant retinas. He was imaging Kagome's future husband. He was probably smart and polite, kind and passive, everything he was not. Inuyasha sighed deeply and leaned further into the tree for support.
"I know she cares for you, Inuyasha, more than even she can convey, but she has a life in her time. She couldn't abandon it, but that doesn't take away her feelings for you."
"What feelings?" he snarled. "If she had any feeling, she would have stayed!"
"She loved you. You knew that." Sango placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Sango had said that Kagome loved him. Loved. Loved as in the past tense. Loved as in once she had been in love with him, but now she was in love with another.
The words gnawed at his insides making him feel nauseous. He swatted her hand away, "She left because of me. It's my fault she wouldn't stay."
"What?" Sango frowned.
He rubbed his eyes furiously, annoyed by his own emotion, "I hurt her because of Kikyo. She said I was gentle with Kikyo and rough with her." He bit the side of his cheek, "I drove her away didn't I?" He looked at Sango questioningly, looking for the confirmation to his revelation.
"That was years ago. She's long since forgiven you."
"But I hurt her!" he insisted.
Sango sighed, "You weren't always kind." She let the words slip through, feeling guilty and disloyal in her admission. "But she knew you cared. I know she did."
"I ruined it all."
Sango shrank back, frightened by the finality and the acceptance stretched through his words. Her motherly instinct seized control and she threw her arms around him, drawing him close to her.
He pushed her away half-heartedly, "And I'll never have my daughter." He was still calm, but there was a sickeningly despair in his words
She tightened her grip and pressed him to her. He gave in and buried a silver head into her shoulder, his claw grabbing the cloth on the back of her dress. He clung to her and trembled under her sisterly warmth.
Sango felt tears prick her eyes and she tightened her grip. A swell of emotion almost choked her as she realized just how many boundaries she and the hanyou crashed through. Years ago, Inuyasha had been rude, brash, condescending, and would never let someone within ten feet of his emotions, and all this was even after Kagome had affected him. But now, with time and a few years of acceptance, he invited her into a place in which an incredibly select few were allowed. It nearly killed her to sense the depth of his emotion and share with him his worst fear, losing Kagome.
"Just don't leave," she breathed. "Stay with us." She pleaded, still afraid he might fall back upon old habits.
He lifted his head, his eyes boring into her, overflowing with a softness so foreign to him, "Where else would I go?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Mariko eyed Kagome suspiciously as they walked through the department store. Kagome looked healthy enough even after her supposed two week stay at a quarantined hospital. Sure she looked a little tired, mentally as well as physically, but surely someone that had a nearly fatal infection would look a little worse for wear.
"Kagome, are you sure you're up to getting married in five days. I mean with your sickness and all maybe it'd be better to just delay it for a week." Mariko picked up a pair of high heeled shoes and eyed them, "Maybe these will look good with your wedding dress?"
"I'm fine, Mariko!" Kagome smiled. "The doctor gave me a clean bill of health. I think they made it sound a lot more serious than it really was." Kagome picked up the shoes and studied them, "No, I don't really like the style of them. I think I want an open-toed shoe."
"What about Shiro? Does he still want to go on with the wedding with you sick and all?"
Kagome walked further down the shoe aisle, "We talked about it, and we both want to go on with it. Besides, it can't be delayed. We've got to get back to school, especially with me trying to get admitted to graduate school."
Mariko rolled her eyes, "That's precisely why you got sick! You drive yourself to the point of exhaustion. Relax! It's not like any school in this country would reject you. You've never made anything below an A."
"I'm going to relax!"
Mariko picked up another pair of shoes, "I suppose that's what the honeymoon is for isn't it?" Her eyes flashed puckishly. She winked.
Kagome blushed, "That's the plan."
"So not to bring up a moot point, but what exactly did you do at the hospital for two weeks? Must've been boring being quarantined."
"I was trying to get better."
"Besides the obvious, I mean."
Kagome bit her lip and thought for a moment, "I thought a lot about the past. That way, I'd be ready to get on with the future."
"So are you ready?"
Kagome picked up another pair of shoes with a shaky hand, "Ready as I'll ever be."
"Uh oh!" Mariko giggled. "Looks like you might be getting some cold feet."
Kagome giggled nervously.
"Can't say that I don't blame you." Mariko laughed at her friend. "If I were committing myself to someone for the rest of my life, especially at the age of 21, I'd be running for the hills!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kagome shut her front door and sighed in relief. Mariko was suspicious, constantly prodding about her illness and pretend hospital stay. She was far too smart to fool for long and Kagome was beginning to lose track of all the lies she had told to cover the truth, but that was much better than the alternative. She set down her shopping bags and plopped into a chair.
Souta ran downstairs at the sound of the front door slamming, "How was shopping?"
"Tiring. Mariko's driving me crazy with questions."
"Why don't you just tell her the truth?" Souta asked. "I think she could handle it. It's not like she'd run out and tell Shiro."
"True, but I don't feel like trying to explain it all and I've got enough to deal with the wedding." Kagome stood up and brushed herself off, "I should've eloped."
"Or you could've stayed in the past." Kagome gave him a withering glance. "Just a suggestion," Souta said in a sing-song voice.
"I'm going to take a nap, little brother." Kagome stressed the last two words, roughly mussing his short hair. "Wake me up before dinner."
Kagome walked to her bedroom and plunked herself on the bed. She turned to her side, tucking her hands underneath her pillow. She sighed and looked out her window.
Things were so confusing. Everything was insane with wedding preparations, and no matter how hard she tried she could not strike the image of Inuyasha's hurt eyes as she told him she was leaving away from her mind.
And then there was Shiro with his tall gangly body and keen mind. He loved to tease and challenge, but seconds later he would cuddle and kiss, always wanting to be close to her. He adored her and had no qualms about admitting it. Sure, he could be a bit of a workaholic when it came to school, tended to bite off way more than he could chew at times, and possessed some annoying little quirks, but she would be hard pressed to find a better match. He was far from perfect, but really he was about as close as she would get.
She was content with him and happy to receive his kisses and admiring glances now that she was back, but the dreams had not stopped. If anything they had become more intense and less decipherable.
The first night she dreamt of Inuyasha, the second she had dreamt of the angel with his large wingspan, and last night she had dreamt of the girl. All the dreams were dark with hazy edges, and they all seemed to close in upon her, squeezing the breath from her lungs until she woke up with a throat raw from screaming.
"I want to be with Shiro," she whispered to herself. "Is that so wrong?"
It wasn't fair that so much weight had been assigned to her. It seemed that the continuance of the demon's and angel's bloodline depended entirely upon her decision. There were so many aspects and people to consider, and to make the best choice for all would mean the end of her life, leaving her plans nothing but meaningless dust.
She rolled onto her back and squeezed her eyes shut. Instantly, a blue- gray haze descended upon her miko vision and a child's face appeared before her. A sad face with round cheeks, curly brown hair, and large smoky gray eyes. A hoary tear fell and the child's lips quivered.
"I want to find my love," the child whispered. "Please."
Pressure built up in Kagome's forehead. His words were spoken not with a mouth, but with a mind, making them more hot and intense. Her mind burned.
"He aches for you."
"Who?" she asked, her brain numb and blinded by the passionate thoughts.
"His soul has splintered."
Kagome could feel the boys mind expand and reach towards another. She could sense the boy's hands grasp the essence of a familiar soul. He gathered it lightly into his palms, careful not to irritate the tender core of the individual. The soul, the chord of this person, was swollen, broken. Kagome could sense the veil of anguish that swathed it.
Her eyes snapped open and she screamed from the pain. The vision dissolved and she struggled to regain control of her thoughts. She pressed her head to her pillow and took in sharp breaths.
"Inuyasha?" she gasped.
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Finally, another chapter! I apologize for the long wait in between chapters. My only defense is lack of time and a very severe case of writer's block. Anyway, thanks to all of you for your reviews. I would love to acknowledge you one by one, but I don't have the time right at this moment, but I promise I'll will soon! Please keep giving me your suggestions and your opinions. They only challenge me as a writer. Hopefully the next update will come much sooner if time and my silly mind will comply! Oh, and sorry for the cliffhangers.
So dream a little dream for me in hopes that I'll remain, And cry a little cry for me so I can bear the flames, And hurt a little hurt for me, my future is untold, But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds
Bebo Norman, "Hammer Holds"
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Innis stretched out her hands, palm up and fingers slightly flexed, and used them to focus her energies. Her inner vision broadened and blanketed the surrounding lands, searching for the unique presence she encountered a few days ago.
She stood at the edge of the angels' mountain with her arms extended while everything around dulled to a hazy shade of gray. Her vision ricocheted from mind to mind searching for the correct vibration of heart, mind, and soul. She skimmed the brains of all those living within the country for hours, and through the fog of minds only one remained constant.
That constant, fervent voice whispered into the forefront of her mind, "Have you found her?"
"No, my lord."
"Have you searched for energy distortions?" The voice was steady and fed her with warmth and energy.
Innis rechanneled her concentration and began peeling back the remnants of energy patterns, tracing back several days. Ripples of power and energy swept past her and then one stopped before it cycled past, freezing all other waves before and behind it. She plucked the pink wave from the rest and angled it in front of her vision. She felt a pulse from it, a lingering and familiar rhythm. It was a temporal energy that twisted before her and it suggested only one thing.
The girl had traveled back to her own time.
Innis opened her eyes and her focus broke. All imprints of energy dispersed without her concentration. She turned sad eyes to her mate.
"She's gone." She looked to him and then looked away. "I have failed."
He brought his hands up to her pale cheeks. She shuddered at his touch and tried to back away. "My love, the girl made her own choice. You fulfilled the role you were meant to play. What more could you do?"
"Our son will have no bride! Surely, a portion of the blame falls upon my shoulders."
He spoke no further, at least not with words. Rather, he entered into her mind and gave her a mental caress, with nothing more than a thought, which slid across her psyche.
Innis forced him out from her mind, "But our bloodlines, my lord! You know we're dying out. If we cannot survive threw the blood of mortals, then our race will disappear entirely." He put a hand to his forehead and winced; she shunted him out too forcefully. "I'm sorry, my lord. I did not. . ." She hesitated when she saw his left hand move to from his side to her face.
He touched the corners of her clouded gray eyes with his thumb and stared at the moistness that he gathered. His finger moved to her cheek and traced her cheekbone before burying his hand in her hair. She leaned her head into his hand as he gently twisted the thick strands of hair around his fingers.
He waited until she breathed softly and the sound of her heartbeat slowed. "What about the hanyou?"
She frowned, "What about him?"
"If the girl is gone, he will be alone." Innis stared at him and the shadow that entered into his eyes, trying to comprehend his meaning. "In the same way you are connected with the girl, I am connected with the hanyou."
"Why did you not tell me?"
"It was your calling to be the messenger, Beloved, not mine. But, I can feel the hanyou's soul, and it is tender, almost to the point of rupturing."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Inuyasha sat with his arms crossed and rested against the well. He looked into the blackness and cursed the unfairness of it all. She had come back, mercilessly planted a foolish hope, and left him again. This time, however, she left him with the full knowledge of what could have been; a life with her, happiness, and a daughter.
The image of his daughter as a woman rushed to his mind. He could see her in a white kimono with blue flowers printed over the delicate fabric. A vivid blue sash was tied around her waist, and her long silver hair was split down the middle of her head and tied back behind her ears in two pigtails with blue ribbons. .
Inuyasha could swear he heard her infectious laughter pulsing in his ears and he reminded himself that this girl should mean nothing to him. After all, she would never be born. Kagome wanted children, but not his children. She wanted Shiro's children, and the thought made him ill.
Unbidden images slammed into Inuyasha's mind, images of precisely what Kagome would be doing with this man in order to have children. A terrible flush tinged his cheeks, coming from a peculiar fusion of anger, jealousy, embarrassment, and mortification.
He leapt over the side of the well.
He hit the dirt bottom, praying for a flashing light to transport him to the future so he could snap every bone in Shiro's hands. He could not touch Kagome then. One side of his mouth quirked up at the thought, but there was no flash of light or the old rush of being thrust years into the future.
"Let me through," Inuyasha hissed, grabbing the soil. He scratched at the dirt and then dug into the coolness of it.
He growled, "It's important!" He threw himself into digging. He pulled the dirt away with ruthless and savage swings. "Please," he begged to the air around him.
No merciful response came and he sunk into the wall of the well with exhaustion. He hit the partitions with a clenched fist, brought a shaking hand up to cover his eyes, and burrowed his head into his chest.
"Feh," he murmured, the words weak even to his own ears.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kagome squinted, the noon sun shining directly into her eyes. It was half past noon, and she sat in the courtyard of a fancy restaurant. The table was made of wrought-iron with a white umbrella overhead. She looked down at the chicken on her plate and then at the man sitting across from her.
He smiled, "Eat, Kagome. You need to get your strength up, especially for the wedding."
"I know."
"We need all the strength we can get," he rolled his eyes, "with all my relatives running around, making things so much more stressful than the need to be."
Kagome took a bite of her chicken, "Don't I know it."
"My mother has got to be driving you insane. She's been running around trying to finalize the exact shade of blue the tablecloths will be and which type of white wine we'll be toasting each other with."
"Your mother is a character," she agreed.
"She's anal."
Kagome frowned, "I didn't say that."
"No, you didn't." Shiro took a bite of his noodles and then pointed his fork at himself, "I did. She's been asking me when she can plan on being a grandmother. And since we're on the subject of grandmothers, are your cheeks bruised yet?"
"Not yet," she grinned sardonically, "but if she keeps pinching and patting my cheeks every five minutes they will be."
Shiro finished his last bite of food, patted his stomach, stretched, and placed his hands behind his head, "She adores you, you know. My whole family does. Uncle Isamu has asked me several times how a lazy kid like me could end up with someone like you."
"He doesn't mean it."
Shiro laughed, "The funny thing is that he does and he's right." He sat up and grabbed Kagome's hand across the table, bringing it to his mouth to kiss it.
"Don't be stupid," Kagome said, dismissing his off-handed compliment.
"You're intelligent, sensitive, patient, and not to mention incredibly hot." He comically scooted his chair back to ogle her legs, lifting his sunglasses to fully appreciate her long limbs. "Why are you with me anyway?" His tone was droll and humorous.
"It's your money," Kagome shot back, wittily.
"Well, that's certainly a good reason." He grinned wickedly, "I must commend you for being a very practical young woman." He grabbed his wine glass, "Let's make a toast to your wisdom and my money." His mannerisms were large and exaggerated.
"Before we do, I must make a confession," Kagome whispered.
"Really?" Shiro's eyebrows lifted in mock surprise. "Well do tell."
"Well," Kagome began pretending to be hesitant, "I'm afraid love may have something to do with it too."
"Love? Are you suggesting that you might be marrying me for love?"
She held up her hands in surrender, "I know, I know. It's very impractical of me."
Shiro leaned into the table, "I must admit to being a little relieved."
"Relieved?" Kagome leaned towards Shiro.
"Well, I must confess that I may love you too."
Kagome grinned, her dimples deepening, "Very impractical of both of us! Well, what are we going to do with ourselves now?"
Shiro shrugged his shoulder and came closer to her, "I suppose we'll have to live happily ever after or something along those lines."
"If we have to we have too," Kagome sighed.
Shiro smiled and put his hand on her neck, guiding her face towards his. He kissed her. His lips were warm and familiar.
Somewhere in the deep folds of her brain, she sensed a frustrated and inconsolable sensation.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sango stood at the base of the old tree and rubbed her hand against the bark that looked white and cracked with the weight of age. She looked up at the branches, staring at Inuyasha. He had not come down from that tree in two days, not since Shippo saw him trying to pass through the Bone Eater's Well.
He refused to come down to help Miroku patrol the neighboring villages. He refused to come down to eat. He refused to come down to play with Taru. He refused to come down to continue training Shippo in the use of his demon powers. His pride had swelled within him and nothing short of the apocalypse would bring him down.
"Inuyasha?" Sango spoke his name softly.
His eyes were shut and he looked asleep, but Sango's eyes were too sharp to deceive and she knew the hanyou too well. She knew the despair hidden behind those heavy lids, and after considering him part of her family for years she developed the ability to read his body language almost as accurately as Kagome could.
"Inuyasha?" She tried again. "I know you're awake. I brought some food."
"You shouldn't have wandered out here this far in your condition. Go home." His voice was concerned rather than agitated.
"I'm pregnant not dying," she retorted. "Will you please come down? Taru has been asking for you."
Inuyasha opened his eyes, looking out into the woods, fidgeting only slightly.
She pressed her cheek against the bark and sighed, "At least come down for a second to eat. I made some noodles."
"Not hungry."
"You can't stay up there forever."
Inuyasha tightened his cross arms and turned his head away from her.
Sango shook her head in frustration, trying to suppress her desire to grab her boomerang and smack him down. Her intention to comfort him was quickly squelched by irritation. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists.
"Go back home, Sango, and mind your own business," he yelled, his belligerence filtering down to her ears.
"I know about everything!" She yelled upwards, "Kagome told me every bit of it."
Inuyasha's head snapped downwards and he gaped at her words.
"I know about the child."
That knowledge did it.
Inuyasha jumped down from the tree, landing a foot or two away from Sango. "Should've known the wench couldn't keep her trap shut. What all did she tell you?"
"She said the two of you were supposed to have a little girl and that she looked a lot like you." Sango stopped at the stricken look on his face and took a large breath before speaking again, "She said the girl was destined to marry an angel to unite the blood of the three races."
Inuyasha threw himself against the wide trunk of the tree and threw his hands up in the air, lashing out at it, "Well, she told you more than she's told me!"
Sango awkwardly moved herself to the ground, kneeling down, "Kagome was confiding to me, Inuyasha. She was upset."
"Why couldn't she tell me?" he cried.
"She was scared. She had no idea of how you'd react and she was so intent on going home."
Inuyasha seemed to curl up within himself and he grimaced. Sango wished she could have sucked her words back in. She had come to comfort him, but all she had accomplished was reminding him of Kagome's departure.
His eyes seemed blank to Sango, empty, but in actuality there was a flurry of action behind the vacant retinas. He was imaging Kagome's future husband. He was probably smart and polite, kind and passive, everything he was not. Inuyasha sighed deeply and leaned further into the tree for support.
"I know she cares for you, Inuyasha, more than even she can convey, but she has a life in her time. She couldn't abandon it, but that doesn't take away her feelings for you."
"What feelings?" he snarled. "If she had any feeling, she would have stayed!"
"She loved you. You knew that." Sango placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Sango had said that Kagome loved him. Loved. Loved as in the past tense. Loved as in once she had been in love with him, but now she was in love with another.
The words gnawed at his insides making him feel nauseous. He swatted her hand away, "She left because of me. It's my fault she wouldn't stay."
"What?" Sango frowned.
He rubbed his eyes furiously, annoyed by his own emotion, "I hurt her because of Kikyo. She said I was gentle with Kikyo and rough with her." He bit the side of his cheek, "I drove her away didn't I?" He looked at Sango questioningly, looking for the confirmation to his revelation.
"That was years ago. She's long since forgiven you."
"But I hurt her!" he insisted.
Sango sighed, "You weren't always kind." She let the words slip through, feeling guilty and disloyal in her admission. "But she knew you cared. I know she did."
"I ruined it all."
Sango shrank back, frightened by the finality and the acceptance stretched through his words. Her motherly instinct seized control and she threw her arms around him, drawing him close to her.
He pushed her away half-heartedly, "And I'll never have my daughter." He was still calm, but there was a sickeningly despair in his words
She tightened her grip and pressed him to her. He gave in and buried a silver head into her shoulder, his claw grabbing the cloth on the back of her dress. He clung to her and trembled under her sisterly warmth.
Sango felt tears prick her eyes and she tightened her grip. A swell of emotion almost choked her as she realized just how many boundaries she and the hanyou crashed through. Years ago, Inuyasha had been rude, brash, condescending, and would never let someone within ten feet of his emotions, and all this was even after Kagome had affected him. But now, with time and a few years of acceptance, he invited her into a place in which an incredibly select few were allowed. It nearly killed her to sense the depth of his emotion and share with him his worst fear, losing Kagome.
"Just don't leave," she breathed. "Stay with us." She pleaded, still afraid he might fall back upon old habits.
He lifted his head, his eyes boring into her, overflowing with a softness so foreign to him, "Where else would I go?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Mariko eyed Kagome suspiciously as they walked through the department store. Kagome looked healthy enough even after her supposed two week stay at a quarantined hospital. Sure she looked a little tired, mentally as well as physically, but surely someone that had a nearly fatal infection would look a little worse for wear.
"Kagome, are you sure you're up to getting married in five days. I mean with your sickness and all maybe it'd be better to just delay it for a week." Mariko picked up a pair of high heeled shoes and eyed them, "Maybe these will look good with your wedding dress?"
"I'm fine, Mariko!" Kagome smiled. "The doctor gave me a clean bill of health. I think they made it sound a lot more serious than it really was." Kagome picked up the shoes and studied them, "No, I don't really like the style of them. I think I want an open-toed shoe."
"What about Shiro? Does he still want to go on with the wedding with you sick and all?"
Kagome walked further down the shoe aisle, "We talked about it, and we both want to go on with it. Besides, it can't be delayed. We've got to get back to school, especially with me trying to get admitted to graduate school."
Mariko rolled her eyes, "That's precisely why you got sick! You drive yourself to the point of exhaustion. Relax! It's not like any school in this country would reject you. You've never made anything below an A."
"I'm going to relax!"
Mariko picked up another pair of shoes, "I suppose that's what the honeymoon is for isn't it?" Her eyes flashed puckishly. She winked.
Kagome blushed, "That's the plan."
"So not to bring up a moot point, but what exactly did you do at the hospital for two weeks? Must've been boring being quarantined."
"I was trying to get better."
"Besides the obvious, I mean."
Kagome bit her lip and thought for a moment, "I thought a lot about the past. That way, I'd be ready to get on with the future."
"So are you ready?"
Kagome picked up another pair of shoes with a shaky hand, "Ready as I'll ever be."
"Uh oh!" Mariko giggled. "Looks like you might be getting some cold feet."
Kagome giggled nervously.
"Can't say that I don't blame you." Mariko laughed at her friend. "If I were committing myself to someone for the rest of my life, especially at the age of 21, I'd be running for the hills!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kagome shut her front door and sighed in relief. Mariko was suspicious, constantly prodding about her illness and pretend hospital stay. She was far too smart to fool for long and Kagome was beginning to lose track of all the lies she had told to cover the truth, but that was much better than the alternative. She set down her shopping bags and plopped into a chair.
Souta ran downstairs at the sound of the front door slamming, "How was shopping?"
"Tiring. Mariko's driving me crazy with questions."
"Why don't you just tell her the truth?" Souta asked. "I think she could handle it. It's not like she'd run out and tell Shiro."
"True, but I don't feel like trying to explain it all and I've got enough to deal with the wedding." Kagome stood up and brushed herself off, "I should've eloped."
"Or you could've stayed in the past." Kagome gave him a withering glance. "Just a suggestion," Souta said in a sing-song voice.
"I'm going to take a nap, little brother." Kagome stressed the last two words, roughly mussing his short hair. "Wake me up before dinner."
Kagome walked to her bedroom and plunked herself on the bed. She turned to her side, tucking her hands underneath her pillow. She sighed and looked out her window.
Things were so confusing. Everything was insane with wedding preparations, and no matter how hard she tried she could not strike the image of Inuyasha's hurt eyes as she told him she was leaving away from her mind.
And then there was Shiro with his tall gangly body and keen mind. He loved to tease and challenge, but seconds later he would cuddle and kiss, always wanting to be close to her. He adored her and had no qualms about admitting it. Sure, he could be a bit of a workaholic when it came to school, tended to bite off way more than he could chew at times, and possessed some annoying little quirks, but she would be hard pressed to find a better match. He was far from perfect, but really he was about as close as she would get.
She was content with him and happy to receive his kisses and admiring glances now that she was back, but the dreams had not stopped. If anything they had become more intense and less decipherable.
The first night she dreamt of Inuyasha, the second she had dreamt of the angel with his large wingspan, and last night she had dreamt of the girl. All the dreams were dark with hazy edges, and they all seemed to close in upon her, squeezing the breath from her lungs until she woke up with a throat raw from screaming.
"I want to be with Shiro," she whispered to herself. "Is that so wrong?"
It wasn't fair that so much weight had been assigned to her. It seemed that the continuance of the demon's and angel's bloodline depended entirely upon her decision. There were so many aspects and people to consider, and to make the best choice for all would mean the end of her life, leaving her plans nothing but meaningless dust.
She rolled onto her back and squeezed her eyes shut. Instantly, a blue- gray haze descended upon her miko vision and a child's face appeared before her. A sad face with round cheeks, curly brown hair, and large smoky gray eyes. A hoary tear fell and the child's lips quivered.
"I want to find my love," the child whispered. "Please."
Pressure built up in Kagome's forehead. His words were spoken not with a mouth, but with a mind, making them more hot and intense. Her mind burned.
"He aches for you."
"Who?" she asked, her brain numb and blinded by the passionate thoughts.
"His soul has splintered."
Kagome could feel the boys mind expand and reach towards another. She could sense the boy's hands grasp the essence of a familiar soul. He gathered it lightly into his palms, careful not to irritate the tender core of the individual. The soul, the chord of this person, was swollen, broken. Kagome could sense the veil of anguish that swathed it.
Her eyes snapped open and she screamed from the pain. The vision dissolved and she struggled to regain control of her thoughts. She pressed her head to her pillow and took in sharp breaths.
"Inuyasha?" she gasped.
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Finally, another chapter! I apologize for the long wait in between chapters. My only defense is lack of time and a very severe case of writer's block. Anyway, thanks to all of you for your reviews. I would love to acknowledge you one by one, but I don't have the time right at this moment, but I promise I'll will soon! Please keep giving me your suggestions and your opinions. They only challenge me as a writer. Hopefully the next update will come much sooner if time and my silly mind will comply! Oh, and sorry for the cliffhangers.