Hi readers! I'm sorry if the chapters seem a little disjointed. I had to break the up a bit strangely. Please bear with me, and try not to get too confused! ^_^

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As soon as she was out of sight from Yukari's house, Hitomi broke into a frantic, ground-eating run. Even though trees and houses blurred by she still didn't run fast enough to outdistance her thoughts.

She pushed her legs harder and harder, and her pulse and breath beat faster and faster. She had to get home, now.

Dillandua was back. And Van…Van wasn't here to protect her---or her family.

Ziabach had used hostages before to gain Hitomi's power. What would stop Dillandua from doing it again?

Hitomi remembered when Ziabach had offered newly wed Millerna and Dryden an irrefutable choice, 'either give us Hitomi Kanzaki or we destroy all of Asturia.' The destruction there was all her fault. All those people who had lost loved ones, those children she had seen Merle play with, had lost their homes and their families…how could she have been so insensitive and stuck up?

Which ultimately led to the fact that everything during the War and after; her family, friends, people she knew and people she didn't, entire countries were her responsibility---and the destruction left behind…was her fault. All of those lives were affected by her choices.

And in the end, the things that had happened…were her fault. Balgus death, Allen's wounds, Millerna's marriage, Folken's death, Naria and Eyria's death, all the people from Freid, Asturia, Fanalia, all the men who died during the war and Van...Van's wounds. How close Van had been to death. Hitomi remembered going into death, just like the doppelganger, and bringing Van back. She had been so close to loosing him. So close…and it was her fault.

In the end, the very end, it was all her fault. The result of her misguided wishes.

How could she have been so self-centered?

Hitomi ran harder, punishing, pushing herself, and trying to escape the terrible racking guilt and self-disgust. God, she hated herself.

How could she have become so self-absorbed without even realizing it? Her family and friends cared about her and were worried about her, but she had ignored them and pushed them all away. Poor Yukari and Amano. She didn't deserve friends like them. Hitomi had pushed them away, lied to them for years, and because of that, Dillandua was going to get them. And her family? She had lied to them, been so absorbed in her own grief----how was it fair that they were going to pay for what she had done? Hitomi had set Dillandua, a murderer, on her family and her friends and it was all her fault.

How many people hand lost loved ones, especially in the war she instigated in Gaea? Wasn't it because Dornkirk had wanted her power that he had attack so many innocent people? Had they just refuse to function, when they had lost everything? No! She had watched them help to rebuild everything and start again! And Van? Just because she had left him, did he ignore Fanalia? The small glimpses she had seem during her visions showed her Fanalia being rebuilt even better than before, more beautiful than before.

Would she want Van to put her before his country? No! She loved Fanalia and she had a duty to protect it! Even if it meant facing Dillandua alone! Even… Hitomi's thought broke, shattered by unshed tears that held a death-grip on her chest.

Even…even if it meant letting go of Van.

It was terrible, what she was doing to him. If she really loved him, she should be able…able to…able to let him go! So he could find someone else from his world, who could love him… Hitomi's heart screamed it's denial, but she ignored it.

Right now she was glad for the numb feeling in her gut. He wasn't in her head anymore. She couldn't feel him at the back of her mind. She didn't think she could bear the thought of hearing the echoes from his head when---when he found…found someone else.

But his happiness went before hers. Seeing him happy would be worth anything, right?

Hitomi was surprise when time suddenly snapped into place. The sudden collision felt like she had slammed into a brick wall. She couldn't get any air into her lungs and her head struck the ground hard. She blinked to clear her fuzzy vision and gasped. Hitomi had forgotten that she had been running, so hard had she been trying to punish herself.

"Van?" The dark blur shook his head.

"Miss Kanzaki? Hitomi?" The voice became more urgent as her eyelids fluttered down. "Hitomi!" A hand quickly pressed hard into her chest. Hitomi's eyes flew open wide and her breath whooshed in. She sat up slowly her shoulder heaving, straining to bring in as much new air as fast as she possibly could, coughing and choking. Hitomi looked up tearfully into her rescuer's face.

"Aoki?" She gasped out in surprise. It was her brother, Hajime's, best friend; a few years younger than her with huge chocolate brown eyes and spiky hair the same color. Yukari had pointed out to her once that Aoki seemed to worship the ground that Hitomi walked on.

"All you all-right, Hitomi?" Aoki said, concerned. "I just walked across the road, and I guess you weren't looking where you were going and ran into me. I've never seen anyone run that fast! It felt like a car had hit me!" He noticed her face and shirt (which was still heaving) were soaked through and more crystal-clear moisture was still dripping from Hitomi's eyes.

"Hitomi, what's wrong? You're crying!" Hitomi brought her hand to her face and was shocked to find cold, salty tears drenching her skin. She stared at her hand. She hadn't even noticed she was crying.

Hitomi glanced around her and to her surprise she found herself across the street from her home. She glanced at her watch. It had taken her 6 minuets and 17 seconds to run all the way from Yukari's house. Her house was a 15-minuet drive from Hitomi's. No wonder she felt like she was going to collapse! She didn't believe it! Was that even possible? No her watch must be wrong. It felt like she was breathing under mud. Every muscle screamed in pain.

Wait… and elusive thought tugged at the corner of her mind, but when she tried to grasp it, it slipped out of her fingers like water. Almost…

"Aoki!" She panted.

"Yes?"

"Were---you---with---my brother?" Aoki nodded confused.

"I just left. Someone knocked at your door and I assumed it was an important guest, so I left as quietly as I could. I'm sorry—"

She interrupted him, her face had lost all color, "Did you---see him?"

"Well, he can't have been Japanese, that's why I assumed he was important. His hair was lighter than any American I've ever seen!"

A scant 30 seconds ago, Hitomi was positive she couldn't move a finger, but now adrenaline coursed though her and she shot passed Aoki towards her house. A shocked Aoki turned and shouted, "Wait!" and sprinted after her.

Hitomi burst through the front door, coughed and jerked back. The house was filled with smoke and ash! She pulled her shirt up to cover her nose and mouth, and bolted through the house.

"Mother! Hajime? Papa! Answer me!" She frantically ran from room to room. Her brother wasn't in his room, her mother wasn't in her room, and no one was in the kitchen.

She finally turned to her room. Hitomi lifted her hand to the door and snatched it back. The wood was hot to the touch! She took a deep breath, braced herself and sent her shoulder crashing against the door.

She stumbled into her room and choked on the swirling ash. A tarot card blew past her face. Hitomi glimpsed the card of destruction, and then she saw him.

He was standing in front of her bed, facing her, grinning sickeningly, muttering 'burn, burn, burn' to the growing blaze.