Disclaimer: Noir doesn't belong to me, it's obvious.

Well, I wrote this when I was horrible bored, so you can expect OOCness, sick, sick ideas, perverted remarks and... yuri. It's not much since I'm not good in writing 'scenes' but the whole fic involves pretty much girl-girl hints. And be aware, that the dear Fork is used here as a kind of.. er, fetish I guess --. One more thing, it's only a joke! I really like this pairing (one of very few yuri couples I like) and I had to write something more hilarious because for about week I'm crying over Chloe and I'm pretty depressed. Ah, and don't expect logic! In timeline they met for the second time in the previous episode but here they're much more close...

MOONLIT WINE PARTY

Kirika tried to ignore the loud and annoying knocking. After few minutes she still stared stubbornly through the window and wondered how much more patience would have the visitor.

When the door almost fell out of hinge at a great bash, she gave up. No more drowning in angst tonight, she grumbled and dramatically reached for the handle. "Who's ther-?"

CRACK!

Exactly when the door was opened, someone's fist had a close meeting with Kirika's face. "AWW!!" she squirmed, covering her nose with both hands and stepping back.

"Oh my, sorry! I only tried to knock a little bit harder!"

"Well, full success! Ouch. Damn, you have a strong blow."

"I know. You see, that's because I'm the True Noir."

"You are who-? Ah, Chloe, come in." she laughed and opened the door wider. A little disturbed, Chloe leaned forward and whispered:

"I expected a bit warmer greeting!" she said in the voice full of reproof.

Kirika only sniffed. "It WAS warm in my case! Appreciate what you get."

Chloe finally got inside and smirked. "You used to be more kind to me..."

Kirika closed the door and wondered uneasily what she meant by "kind".

"Where is your friend?"

"Mireille is out." she replied.

"Will she come back soon?"

"No." it had slipped before the girl could bridle her tongue.

"So we are all alone then... My, what an occasion."

Just how wide could she smirk? "Sounds like trouble." She mumbled to herself but aloud said "Would you like some tea?"

"Of course. Make some please, and I'll wait here for you..." she winked and giggled.

When Kirika came back, she nearly let two cups of hot tea fall and coughed. "What are you doing?!"

Nothing, really. Chloe took off her cloak and now she was lying on the bed, arching her back to raise the object which has slipped off her hands. The thing was the pair of red stockings with a lace. Kirika gasped, almost threw cups on the table and rushed to the bed.

"Give me that!"

A dangerous blink. "Kirikaaa, would-, er, nothing!"

"What?" she asked suspiciously

"Nothing!" answered Chloe with a perfectly innocent smile. "Come, the tea will get cold."

They sat and drank in silence. Not comfortable silence though, since Chloe never stopped eyeing Kirika up and down with that nasty grin.

"Em, do you drink?" asked Chloe

"Not really. Besides, I don't have any alcohol in here, so..."

"But I have."

Kirika thought that this grin was simply stuck to Chloe's face. Meanwhile, Chloe jumped under the table, something clanked and she came back triumphantly, holding three bottles of red wine.

"When did you sung it over there?"

Seeing Kirika's anxious face, she carefully put aside the alcohol, crawled through the table, nearly cast down one precious cup and then she cupped her face.

"Do you appreciate my tender and loving gesture?" she made sure and when she got a nod as a reply, she continued "Good. Look, this wine isn't poisoned or something. But if you're sooo fragile and angsty and it's not in your style to drink, I understand. But again, you have to play cards with me."

"In what?" asked Kirika faintly

"Whatever. The point is, that if I win, you'll do what I want; if you're the winner I have to give up myself to you..." she tried to sound displeased but all her face looked happy as hell on a thought that this could happen.

Kirika who has her own plans going on her mind, agreed quietly.

"You've been cheating!" whispered helplessly Kirika.

"So what? There is no proof for that!" Yuumura made a wry face.

"Why do I have to be so delicate somehow?! I can't even say "fuck" when I'm irritated!"

"You've just said that." Noticed Chloe patiently

"Oh."

"Well. I think I have something I'd want you to do. Nothing bad, really."

"Sure I believe you." muttered Kirika "Put this on for me." Chloe blew on her unlucky pair of red stockings. 'What a good coincidence that she's wearing such a short skirt' she thought merrily

"No way!" "Ah, yes, and then come here with this in your mouth. I want to have a souvenir." She handed Kirika a dessert fork.

"You. Are. Sick."

"Have I ever said that I'm not?"

"I can't believe I'm doing this! That's humiliating!"

Kirika stood before Chloe and grumbled under her breathe. The truth is, for any pervert she looked like a treasure. For the rest like a young pretty girl dressed in an exposing shirt, short skirt and sexy stockings.

Chloe pushed into her lips a fork, making her cough.

"There". And she added "Don't choke yourself"

"Just how much longer do I have to stand here?!" yelled Kirika, unclearly, trying not to choke with a fork.

"Only a little more"

"You keep repeating it for about twenty minutes! Find some other place for resolving your philosophic problems! "

"I'm looking, and enjoying the view. Oh, and of course I'm planning what to do later."

"So think faster" she demanded

"Fancy drinking this delicious wine with me?" suddenly asked Chloe

"No."

"But I'm sure you do"

Quick jump, soundless move and a knife was now inches from Kirika's neck. Chloe pressed it closer and the other girl gulped.

"Maybe I'll try some."

Chloe stepped back with a wide smile and uncorked the bottle, with one trained move.

"Years of practice" she explained seeing Kirika's suspicious gaze.

"Turn off the lights please."

"Whatever." She obeyed

"You know, the atmosphere. Do you have some wine-glasses?"

"Perhaps, but I don't know where."

"No problem" Chloe drank a first gulp directly from the bottle and handed it to Kirika. The brunette drank too and licked her lips thoughtfully.

"THAT'S FREAKIN' GOOD!"

- - I'm sure you can make it too, as long as we'll stay together – -

Chloe squeaked and fell in Kirika's arms who was already sobbing.

"Didn't I tell you it's damn beautiful?" stammered Kirika and patted Chloe's head.

"I'm melting already! But that plagiarist Hijiri and this bitch Tsubaki are really pissing me off!"

Kirika nodded and clenched her fists. "They wanted to ruin such a perfect relationship!"

"And it's only Muraki-sama's role!"

They drowned in sighing over it, sobbing, moaning, squeaking and giggling.

It's truth that alcohol loosens one's tongue. For example, somebody could confess that she's a yaoi fangirl and loves anime. That somebody was Kirika. And obviously, the other someone would want to see some yaoi. So as an effect, they both watched with bated breathe "Yami no Matsuei" on Mireille's laptop. Without stopping drinking.

"But one wonders me. Why didn't they kiss or do something more?! I want to see live yaoi-... wait a minute..."

It was Kirika's turn to smile maliciously.

"If I can't have yaoi, I can still watch live yuri. Not bad."

Chloe wanted to ask what's yuri but she was shut up by a sudden kiss. She didn't mind at all and responded to Kirika's lips. She embraced her and pushed on the floor, her hands wandering through the brunette's body. When they parted for taking a breathe, Chloe asked:

"What's yuri?"

"Exactly what we're doing."

Chloe didn't answer but instead she kissed Kirika's cheek, then her neck and leaned down.

Mireille, very exhausted, after the five minutes of missing her aim, finally pressed the key into the lock.

She didn't like all-night parties but yesterday she decided it was time to have some fun. She felt a little guilty for not taking with her, but it was not stuff for teenagers, She's too young for those waterfalls of alcohol and besides... having fun like that just didn't fit her style. Kirika didn't like doing crazy and irresponsible things and on parties that happens very often.

The first thing she saw were panties wrapped around an empty bottle of wine.

Hm. That was STRANGE.

Then she looked up and saw Kirika lying on the floor in Chloe's arms. They were both naked.

"Well, that surely gives a good fanservice. Oh my."

Streets of Paris, a wonderful, peaceful morning. "KIRIKAAA!!!"

The end

Someone just punch me if I'm dreaming. I really did wrote yuri!