Disclaimer: Nope! Don't own Inuyasha! I've finally gotten over my denial... I think...
A/N: Thank you, everyone, for such wonderful reviews! They really make my day!
Please, forgive me if this chapter seems a bit rushed, but I've been having serious WB and I wanted to get this out for my birthday- didn't work, though. *sighs*...
Well... Hope you enjoy!
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'There's nothing I can do, without you by my side. You knew this, didn't you? That's why you left me to fend for myself...
'Well, I get the hint now...
'I didn't think you cared as much as you've shown me with this...
'And you'll never get to here the words I want to say the most...
'You just had to listen... when you walked away that night... and truly hear what I had to say.
Does it hurt thinking the words most needed to be heard didn't fall on deaf ears, but ears unwilling to listen?
'I wouldn't be here now. I'd be at your feet, not at the end of my rope- my life's rope. Have you nothing to say? If you have something to say, shyness isn't your friend.
'But...
'Fate never has been either of ours, has it been?
Does it hurt you to know we'll never see each other again?
'All feelings go hand in hand: love is dimmed without hate; joy impossible without misery; happiness means nothing without sadness and all her glory; peace and war- every couple goes through these times, and all time goes through these problems, whether physically, mentally, emotionally; there is no end to the friend and foe acquaintances everyone lives through.
'People say, you have to breath.
'I'm not breathing.
'Everyone says, you must eat.
'I've never tasted anything sweat enough to 'must' have it again- so I gave it up long ago.
'You say to me, you have to live.
'Is it possible, would you understand if I told you, I'm living, yet, somehow, dead.
Does it hurt knowing I'm thinking this?
'They say, you have to drink to stay alive.
'... Drink...? I've been living off drinking in the sorrows of others through these retched ears, drinking in the dismay the world displays through far too open eyes, drinking in hatred from those I love most by this filthy and tainted heart of mine.
'Can you deny me a place of permanent peace? Can you shun me for the contempt I now display? Can you feel anything but discord in this twisted soul of mine?
Does it hurt you, these feelings coursing in your soul?
'...I'll die willingly...
'If your eyes would stop shining such pity my way, I could die willingly with honor and emptiness.
'After all... I'm only here, because you lead me to this destination.
Does it hurt to see so plainly what you've done to everything I once cherished?
'Tell me, you, the only living person I'll ever see again, who stands staring at me with blank and lifeless eyes, mind gone and wondering, heart steadily beating as I inch just a bit closer to the edge:
Does it hurt?
'My heart does- more than these glittering, water-filled eyes can show and more than my quivering mouth can say.
'You'll never hear the words I want to say the most... Those words so important to me, the ones that have kept me living for so long, those I believed would make us at last see eye-to-eye, are never to be heard... never to be known, or noticed... never realized...
'And for that...'
"I hate you..."
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When You're at the Bottom
Close Encounters With Silver and Gold
By Sakura-chan88
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Walking home with her two closest friends, Kagome's mind wandered away, leaving her to stare blankly at her moving feet. Every day seemed to be the same, melted together in a tangle of almost identical memories. Boy was life bland. Especially for the rich.
"What are we going to do today? Want to go see a movie?" Sango asked boredly.
"Why? To see the fall of man kind for the one-hundred and third time?" Kagome replied, raising a skeptical eyebrow and giving a 'you must be kidding' tone of voice. "No thank you."
"What about going out for dinner? We haven't done that in a while," Sango muttered, holding her math book against her chest, thinking with a furrowed brow.
"Sorry, I can't-"
"Souta can come, too, if your parents are gone on another of those business trips," she cut in hurriedly.
"I can't either, though," Miroku mumbled downtroddenly. "I have to entertain Mushin with my knowledge of what Monks were like before the Shikon no Tama and everything... again."
"I didn't ask you," stated Sango coolly.
"Although," Miroku began, looking thoughtful. "I could say I'm studying with you- there are a few things we should get done."
"Studying?" Sango repeated, laughing at the ridiculous statement. "You have all of your work done already, Miroku. What more could you possibly want to study on?"
"Well, we could study up on anatomy," suggested Miroku with the most serious of expressions. Sango scowled. "Chemistry wouldn't be a bad idea either."
***SMACK***
The star-filled eyes swirled in pain as Miroku hit the ground with a dull thud.
"Hentai," Sango hissed, walking away from the fallen man. "I can't believe you."
Kagome merely shook her head, strolling down the road, leaving the boy were he lay. He could get himself back on his own feet. She was content on walking mindlessly home. Still, since today wanted to prove her 'every day is the same' theory wrong and change its routine a bit, that was going to be easier said than done. Half way home, she unexpectedly ran into a detour- literally.
"Kya!" she screamed in surprise, stumbling backwards. Grasping the nearest thing to her, which happened to be the detour's companion, she fell ungraciously to the cold, cement ground.
"Ouch!" a little girl yipped. "Let go!"
"Sorry," Kagome mumbled, releasing the girl's arm. "I didn't mean it-"
A hand snaked around her throat, squeezing the sentence to its death and bringing a trembling teenage girl up to eye level with its owner. "Watch where you are going, human," a cold voice spoke, snatching the teen's attention from the hand that pressed menacingly on her airway.
Gasping and open eyes enough to take in the speaker, Kagome came face to face with a youkai. His golden eyes gave him away- the pointed, elf-like ears and the clearly demon markings helped complete that judgment. His gaze was expressionless, almost haunting in a sense... She could only hope that he wasn't a heartless youkai, but his looks didn't give her much to hope about.
Everything but the fluffy, boa-like object encircling his unused arm gave her a feeling of unease and hopelessness.
"I could kill you right here if I wanted to," he stated, his grip tightening in emphasis. "However, I will not waste my time."
Kagome's eyes widened as far as they could while he released her neck, dropping her to the ground gracelessly. She coughed, bring her own hand up to massage the throbbing body part, gasping for much needed oxygen. "Th-thank you, sir..."
The man turned away, taking a step as he continued to speak, "You will not live if it happens again... Come, Rin."
The small girl - the same one, Kagome noted, that she had pulled to the ground with her earlier - studied the teenager for a moment, as the teenager returned the scrutiny, her hand still unconsciously rubbing her throat..
The girl, Rin, looked to be the same age as Souta, around 11 or so. Her hair was cut short- the sign of a slave- and her cheeks were smudged with dirt. The dress she wore looked as if it had seen more years than the Shikon no Tama had; it was as if she were covered by mere rags. Kagome couldn't help but feel pity for the child.
However, to Kagome's surprise, Rin smiled brightly in forgiveness, bowing before she left. Most slaves were not even permitted to smile! With the excitement- terror- from the encounter with the youkai, then with the child slave, Kagome swore that if her heart ever returned to normal, she would die from the sheer shock of it.
This was the first time, and the last time, she prayed, that she had ever encountered a youkai that closely. She wasn't up for another meeting.
So much for a normal day...
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Kagome yawned, flopping down onto her bed. She had always thought it humorous that she lived in a shrine house with the billions of dollars her family had. Her father was just trying to keep the money, she guessed. No need making a gamble like buying a mansion only to lose the job he had- that's how he had explained it.
'Nothing to do, again... There's nothing on t.v. to watch-even with the 500 different channels-, no new books to read... Of course, I could do my homework... Is there really nothing better to do than homework?!' She was back to being bored. 'What's the point of having money when there is nothing to do with it!'
Sighing, she stood to look out her window, watching the moon's light shimmer through a break in the clouded night sky. Her life seemed to always be reflected there, in the endless expanse... So strange. She felt so empty inside, her mind fogged and her hope dimming. A hope that maybe there was such a thing as a happy ending- or at least a happy middle in her story.
Too bad, there wasn't one thing in her life right now- minus her friends and younger brother- that made her happy in the least. Money meant nothing- only that, to the public, she was a role model and must 'uphold the family honor'. In other words, she must play the perfect daughter. She was sick of it.
Buyo, her obese cat, meowed for attention, patting at her hand that was closest. Giggling, Kagome scratched Buyo's chin. "Of course, I couldn't forget about you, now could I?"
"Mroow!"
"That's right," she said, sitting on the edge of her bed. Her life was so dull.
'Money,' she snorted. 'The start of all wars and end of man-kind's peace. How could it mean so much?'
Her hand went to her neck once more, rubbing away at the pain that had long since passed... '...Or is it... power?'
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The phone rang as Kagome finished her final draft for the Language Arts 'Summer Time Essay' explaining what was oh, so special about the prolonged break from school. Why they were required to do homework on the first day was far beyond her.
"Moshi, moshi," she heard her brother greet from down stairs. There was a brief pause. "IT'S FOR YOU, SIS!"
"THANKS SOUTA!"
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL!"
"OKAY, SOUTA!"
Kagome laughed silently as she bound down the stairs to her awaiting brother, ruffling his hair as she reached for the phone. He pouted, slapping away her offending hand and left with a huff.
"Kagome speaking," she announced brightly.
"Hey, Kagome," Miroku responded, questioning her about the background noise.
"Souta's blaring the radio, again," sighed Kagome, placing her forehead on the wall in front of her as fatigue set in. "What did you call for?"
"... Well... I was wondering if you'd do me a favor."
"Depends."
"... It's Sango."
"That much is obvious, Miroku," she informed him, chuckling at his pause in response.
"Can you go to dinner with us- she won't go without you," he grumbled. "I still can't understand it. She's always saying, 'not without Kagome' or 'is Kagome gonna be there' or 'what, just you and me? Kagome isn't going?'"
"Trust is the first step to a woman's heart- or at least in this case," Kagome explained. "She doesn't trust you to stay to yourself."
"I try, though. Isn't that enough?"
"Nope!"
Beep.... Beep.... Beep....
"Hold on, someone's trying to get through."
"Sure."
"Kagome speaking."
"Hey, Kagome-chan," chirped Sango from the other line. "Listen, before you start that whole pointless- oh, hey, how you doing- stuff, I have a really big favor to ask of you-"
"Let me guess," Kagome muttered dryly, sighing as she rattled off the situation. "You want me to go with you to a restaurant so that you and Miroku can have some time together, yet not 'together together' and have me play monkey in the middle when he touches you and you slap him, and have me take your side in all of your arguments just to prove Miroku wrong- even if he is absolutely, one hundred percent, over the top correct?"
"... Yeah, I guess you could say that," Sango stammered. "How did you know?"
"Miroku's on the other line."
"Oh... That explains it..."
She sighed, shaking her head as her friend began to grumble about the sneaky boy who beat her to pitching Kagome the idea. Typical Sango for you.
"Hey, I'll patch you in on the other line-"
"No, wait-"
The damage was done.
"Sango?"
"Hello, you have reached the Saito residence," Sango began, deepening her voice. "We are sorry to inform you that we are presently away from home. Please leave your name and number after the beep... Beep..."
"Dude! You totally sound like a hottie- what's your number again?" Miroku exclaimed. Kagome slapped her forehead. The dolt! Oh, but he wasn't finished with 'Saito', yet. "Name's Miroku- call me, k? 733-"
"Miroku!" Sango screeched in rage. "You h-"
"Hey- you're really there!" Miroku chirped. "Hold on, I was just getting through to Saito- anyway... 733-72-"
"Beep!" Sango mimicked again.
"Nooooo!"
"Miroku, you idiot!" Kagome yelped. "I thought we were going to the restaurant..."
"Ah, Sango dear, did you ask Kagome yet?"
"Obviously," Sango hissed.
"Yes, I'll go," Kagome answered with a sigh, cutting off anything Sango might say to discourage him or start another useless fight. "The Heart's Delight, right?" A murmur of concurrence sounded through the receiver. "Sure, I'll be there, but I have to bring Souta."
"No problem," Miroku chuckled. "The more the merrier."
"True," muttered she, twisting the phone cord around her finger as her mind blanked out a moment. After listening to Miroku sing some unknown song for a moment, Kagome shook herself back to reality. "Well, what time should I be there?"
"6:30," Miroku answered instantly, followed by "6:00," from Sango.
"What!? We're supposed to meet at 6:00," Sango screeched.
"But, Sango dear, can't we have just a little alone time?"
"For you to grope me!?"
"... Um..."
As yet another fight broke out, Kagome hung up, calling for Souta to tell him to get ready. It was already a quarter passed five and she didn't want to show up late and find Miroku on the ground and pieces of a shattered chair around him...
She shivered. Just how did he live through it?
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"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" Souta whined, pulling his sister by the arm as they walked through the semi-crowded streets of Tokyo. "I'm hungry!"
"You're always hungry, Souta..."
"Sesshomaru-sama, Sesshomaru-sama!" a squeaky, highly pitched voice called out as a green-toad like youkai walked passed the girl, slapping her with his staff on the back. "Out of my way, filthy human. Sesshomaru-sama, Sessho-oh?"
Kagome rubbed her sore back as the toad went flying down the pavement to land a few feet in front of her. She blinked. 'Wha...?'
"Be quiet," a monotonous voice ordered, as a man brushed past the still confused teen.
"I'm sorry, m'lord," the toad exclaimed, jumping to his feet and bowing low... repeatedly... without any acknowledgement from the silver haired demon.
"A youkai slave?" Kagome mumbled in a puzzled manner.
The bowing being stopped to glare at her and yell. "I am not a slave, you wretched slim!" His staff swung around, the Old Man's Head facing her. "You'll die for your insult!"
"Jaken," Sesshomaru barked. "Let her be. You are wasting my time."
Jaken turned startled eyes to the man ordering him around. "But, m'lord-"
"Wait," Kagome began, recognizing Sesshomaru's voice. "You're that man I ran in to earlier, aren't you?"
"S-s-s-she's talking to you," Jaken gasped. "And she ordered you to 'wait'." Then snarled. "She'll pay for speaking out of place with such rebellion."
"You are wearing my patience thin," the youkai stated simply, drawing a foot up and kicking Jaken away. He looked back at her with his golden gaze. Her heart faltered. "Girl, consider yourself lucky that I've already shed blood today."
That was the last he said as he approached the unconscious toad youkai, kicking him farther down the road. (A/N: Just a quick note on my own belief. I truthfully think that Sesshomaru wouldn't be himself without Jaken- Jaken's his only friend(companion) through the beginning of the series. I like to think he doesn't look at Jaken as a servant, but someone to vent anger out on- k?- and no, I'm not saying he's gay- GOOD GOD, help us all if he is... *shutters* Ewww....)
Kagome took a deep breath to help slow her quickly pulsing heart, pushing her brother toward the restaurant as he just stood and gaped at her, sending chills down her spine. "Quit that!"
"..." The boy's eyes grew in size as his mouth clamped shut. He looked away, a smile starting to form...
By the time they had arrived- a whole three seconds late- Souta's lips were pulled back as far as they could go in a beaming grin. Kagome didn't bother to ask what he was so proud of as a screech sounded through the air, causing Kagome's heart to jump in her chest. What if someone was being killed by a youkai right here, right now!?
But...
She knew it wasn't life threatening...
After all....
Miroku had a hard head...
" HENTAI!!!!!!!!!"
*SMACK*
Souta shot through the building in a flash, hurried to get to Miroku and Sango. Kagome, almost grudgingly, followed.
Miroku was sprawled on the floor beside a fuming Sango sitting in one of the four chairs surrounding the empty table. That glowing handprint looked very menacing....
"Um... sorry, I was late," Kagome said sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. "Ran into a little... detour."
"It was sooooo cool!" Souta shouted, grabbing Sango's sleeve and tugging. "Kagome stood up to a youkai- a youkai lord!"
Sango's jaw dropped as she surveyed her friend for injuries. Kagome shook the look off. Miroku laughed in his unconscious state. "Silly Sango- that boomerang is heavier than you..."
"Um... right," the dream-mentioned girl muttered uncertainly. "... Maybe I hit him a little too hard this time..."
"But, that suit covers everything," he pouted.
"No, I don't think so..."
"Spandex... hm... hot springs..."
"Definitely not," Kagome giggled, taking a seat. Today was so much... different...
She could only hope tomorrow would be just as eventful. She needed excitement in her life.
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Tick-tock-tick-tock
Tick-tock-tick-tock
tick-tock-tick-ZZZZ
ZZZZ-ZZZZ-ZZZZ-ZZZZ
ZZZZ-ZZZZ-ZZZZ-ZZZZ
"KAGOME!" her mother screeched, the sound muffled by the golden alarm-clock whose bell was constantly vibrating. "GET UP!"
"HM UMPH!" she shouted into her pillow, an arm thrusting out to punch the offending noise maker. The clock hit the wall with a satisfying 'clang!'. "Shtuphid Shoutah... Keephink mey umph wif shtuphid shtoriech." (Translation- just in case ^_^- "Stupid Souta... Keeping me up with stupid stories.")
Yawning widely and turning to lay on her back, Kagome rubbed her eyes clear of sleep, the dreamy glaze washing out.
Last night she had been stuck at the restaurant for three hours- to let Miroku eat since he was knocked out for a good two hours- and listened to her encounter with that odd silver haired youkai. Of course, it was exaggerated greatly. After trying to correct him for the twelfth time, she gave up and let him tell it his way.
.... Then when she got home, Mom and Dad were back and fussing over her unkempt hair... until Souta exclaimed, "Kagome yelled at a youkai!" She sighed, "I did not yell, I asked a question." Souta countered, "He tried to kill you- then the other guy, another youkai, saved your life! Then he-"
The whole time, her parents got a distant look in their eyes and edged away from her...
... What was their problem...?
She shrugged it off and got dressed in a rush.
At breakfast, her parents, again, stayed away from her. They said nothing more than 'good morning' before acting like she wasn't there. Not like she cared. At least they weren't yelling at her for not brushing her hair into the 'perfect sweeping' ponytail.
Leaving, Kagome trotted out the door happily smiling, halting only to hear the one statement that could make her scowl.
"Tidy your hair up, Kagome!" her mother called from the dining room.
"Of course, Mother Dearest," Kagome hissed beneath her breath, her sunshine dispersed completely.
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"Oh, Kagome," Kikyou called as she strutted into their first hour class room. "I'm sorry to disappoint you dear, but I'm leaving for today- can't miss my manicure."
"You came to school just to tell me?" Kagome asked the beaming girl. "Man, you have no life, do you?"
Kikyou's smile faltered as a serious, and slightly depressed, look took residence on her face. "... What kind of life am I supposed to have with youkai running it?"
"What, you're a slave now?" Kagome laughed, disregarding the somberness that surrounded the girl in front of her. "Oh, the day that Queen Kikyou the No-Life-Slut becomes a slave is the day I die happy."
'Much thanks, Sango,' Kagome thought as a hand caught Kikyou's wrist to stave off the assault.
"Not today, Kikyou," Sango hissed. "You'd break one of your precious nails."
Kikyou spun on her heel, stomping to the doorway. "Fine, but Kagome-chan..." She paused, then turned back to the girl sitting lazily in her assigned desk. "... You missed a strand- bad girl. Didn't your parents tell you to keep tidy, Princess Perfect?"
Kagome's eye twitched as she promptly crumbled the pencil in her hand to create a pile of now useless sawdust and lead shavings. Oh, that does it!
"Wow..."
The astonished whisper from Miroku was enough to twist her anger into curiosity. She gazed at the boy seated to her left, one chair behind Sango. He was looking at her desk... She did, too...
"What?" she asked, sliding her attention back to the amazed classmate.
"You're strong..."
This time both eyes began to twitch irritably. "Mi-ro-ku... I'm gonna-!"
BBBBRRRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!
"Okay, class, take your seats," the teacher commanded, turning away from his place at the chalk board where he had written a few words. However, his position covered it.
'Inu...? What about a dog?'
"Before we begin today's lesson, let's do a quick introductory. Students, please state your name, age, likes, dislikes, and such when I call your name. Stand when you speak."
A few students down the line, it was Kagome's turn. "Higurashi Kagome, 17. I like reading, writing, talking with friends, drawing, and singing." Taking a deep breath, she said what everyone expected her to say for dislikes... "I don't like youkai, Naraku, or the Shikon no Tama- or Midoriko... and I don't like-"
However, the teacher had moved on to the next person in line, thinking she had just given every answer she could possibly have given.
"-being ignored," Kagome whispered as she took her seat again.
She zoned out until a particular name caught her attention. Seems Sango and Miroku were also shocked into snapping to look at the called on girl.
"Saito Tsuki," a blonde said, giggling as she stood. "18. I like walks in the park and... *blush* my boyfriend."
Miroku sighed and slumped back in his seat. 'Darn,' he mouthed, snapping his fingers and gaining everyone's attention... and Sango's livid glare.
The introductions were finished once Sango complete the 'I hate' speech.
"Now, where were we...? Ah, yes," the teacher began, looking up with clouded eyes. "Facilities. Stores for humans are to purchase clothing to show we are higher than our slave brothers; for youkai, they are to flaunt the fact that we are all below them and subjected to servitude. Libraries are for humans to read about the fall of mankind, as the theater's display it. Libraries for youkai are to keep records of the humans killed and the... Blah, blah, blah, blah..."
Kagome sighed, looking at her desk and drawing symbols around the center. A flicker of white scraped across the glossed board, stopping short of the edge. A note from Sango, no doubt.
'Kagome,
Listen(well, read, I mean), I was thinking that we should go to the park later. What do you think? Kohaku's been bugging and I thought you could bring Souta so they'll stay out of our hair for a while.
Sango.'
The pencil she was drawing with began to scribble its own message on the white compressed tree fibers.
'Sango, I know who you are, okay?
That sounds fine, as long as we don't run into that one youkai... He was creepy... Yeah, I think Mom is out of town for a Women's Convention(who would want to go there, anyway?) and Dad left this morning for another business trip- four days, can you believe it? *sigh* He just keeps on going, doesn't he?(The teacher, I mean.)
^_^'
Sending it over to Sango, she noticed Miroku pouting. Smirking to herself, she grabbed a clean sheet of paper and scribbled a quick note.
'Awww, poor wittle Mirokie-poo is bein' weft out. *pout* Shows you, you pervert. Maybe Sango will tell you- if you keep to yourself- understand?'
Tossing it to the curious lecher, Kagome caught Sango's paper football as it zoomed away, almost out of range. Oh, she was mad...
'~.~
Yeah, he never shuts up. That youkai did seem kinda strange- I mean, you're still alive and everything(don't get me wrong, we- Miroku and I- owe him a big one, you know? Miroku wouldn't have survived the night if you never showed up). I don't understand the Women's Convention thing, either.
What are you doing? You aren't telling him are you?
You better not have, Kagome... *growl*'
'I'm Sango, hear me roar!
Of course I didn't tell him, you untrusting idiot! I'm not that dumb! But, he'll be asking you, I'm sure. Probably before gym *hint, hint* Yeah, I owe that guy one- two, actually. I ran into him twice... In one day... how weird.
*sigh*'
Miroku's note was thrown back at the same time Sango's left Kagome's hand.
'Oh, come on, Kag! Be a babe and tell me!'
'... Lecher... I don't really feel like losing 17 years of my life in an instant, okay? Think of all the extra skin. *shutters* Eewwwww.... *shutters again*'
Sango's letter-
'Bored-As-Can-Be,
Sorry, I jumped to conclusions. Do you think he might keep to himself just to know?
Anyway, twice, huh? Wow... he's not normal at all, is he?
Just-As-Bored-And-*Yawn*ing'
'Sleepless Dreamer,
Nope, yep, totally. I think that's all for today. *bows* Thank you, thank you!
Friendly Frowner(I'm really getting tired of his tirade, doesn't he take a breath!?)'
Miroku's note-
'You getting a cold? Well, I'll wait, I guess... I just can't guarantee anything.'
'Maybe, maybe not, and never even dreamt of it.'
The teacher was just finishing with the classic ending she had long since memorized.
"And, last but most certainly least. Schools. Schools for us humans," Mr. Never-Takes-A-Breath began, "is to learn how and how not to act in front of youkai; what we need to know to stay alive and out from under their feet; to learn about the defeat in the past that has put us in this awful position. School, in other words, is-"
"To prepare you for us," a voice drawled from the doorway, ripping a startled gasp from the students and causing the teacher to jump out of his chair and fall gracelessly to the floor.
There, leaning languidly against the room's entrance way, was the nightmare of all human beings.
With golden eyes and silver hair.
"Boo."
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A/N: So, how was it? I'm sorry for such a long pause in between, but I have had some rather bad cases of WB every time I sit down to write this story... Maybe it's because of all the homework sitting next to me and the fact that the main setting for this story is a school... Seems reasonable.
Anyway, please review and tell me what you think. I appreciate any kind of feed back- flame me if you must! ^_^; Must sound desperate. Oh, well...
Ja ne, minna!
A/N: Thank you, everyone, for such wonderful reviews! They really make my day!
Please, forgive me if this chapter seems a bit rushed, but I've been having serious WB and I wanted to get this out for my birthday- didn't work, though. *sighs*...
Well... Hope you enjoy!
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'There's nothing I can do, without you by my side. You knew this, didn't you? That's why you left me to fend for myself...
'Well, I get the hint now...
'I didn't think you cared as much as you've shown me with this...
'And you'll never get to here the words I want to say the most...
'You just had to listen... when you walked away that night... and truly hear what I had to say.
Does it hurt thinking the words most needed to be heard didn't fall on deaf ears, but ears unwilling to listen?
'I wouldn't be here now. I'd be at your feet, not at the end of my rope- my life's rope. Have you nothing to say? If you have something to say, shyness isn't your friend.
'But...
'Fate never has been either of ours, has it been?
Does it hurt you to know we'll never see each other again?
'All feelings go hand in hand: love is dimmed without hate; joy impossible without misery; happiness means nothing without sadness and all her glory; peace and war- every couple goes through these times, and all time goes through these problems, whether physically, mentally, emotionally; there is no end to the friend and foe acquaintances everyone lives through.
'People say, you have to breath.
'I'm not breathing.
'Everyone says, you must eat.
'I've never tasted anything sweat enough to 'must' have it again- so I gave it up long ago.
'You say to me, you have to live.
'Is it possible, would you understand if I told you, I'm living, yet, somehow, dead.
Does it hurt knowing I'm thinking this?
'They say, you have to drink to stay alive.
'... Drink...? I've been living off drinking in the sorrows of others through these retched ears, drinking in the dismay the world displays through far too open eyes, drinking in hatred from those I love most by this filthy and tainted heart of mine.
'Can you deny me a place of permanent peace? Can you shun me for the contempt I now display? Can you feel anything but discord in this twisted soul of mine?
Does it hurt you, these feelings coursing in your soul?
'...I'll die willingly...
'If your eyes would stop shining such pity my way, I could die willingly with honor and emptiness.
'After all... I'm only here, because you lead me to this destination.
Does it hurt to see so plainly what you've done to everything I once cherished?
'Tell me, you, the only living person I'll ever see again, who stands staring at me with blank and lifeless eyes, mind gone and wondering, heart steadily beating as I inch just a bit closer to the edge:
Does it hurt?
'My heart does- more than these glittering, water-filled eyes can show and more than my quivering mouth can say.
'You'll never hear the words I want to say the most... Those words so important to me, the ones that have kept me living for so long, those I believed would make us at last see eye-to-eye, are never to be heard... never to be known, or noticed... never realized...
'And for that...'
"I hate you..."
When You're at the Bottom
Close Encounters With Silver and Gold
By Sakura-chan88
~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~
Walking home with her two closest friends, Kagome's mind wandered away, leaving her to stare blankly at her moving feet. Every day seemed to be the same, melted together in a tangle of almost identical memories. Boy was life bland. Especially for the rich.
"What are we going to do today? Want to go see a movie?" Sango asked boredly.
"Why? To see the fall of man kind for the one-hundred and third time?" Kagome replied, raising a skeptical eyebrow and giving a 'you must be kidding' tone of voice. "No thank you."
"What about going out for dinner? We haven't done that in a while," Sango muttered, holding her math book against her chest, thinking with a furrowed brow.
"Sorry, I can't-"
"Souta can come, too, if your parents are gone on another of those business trips," she cut in hurriedly.
"I can't either, though," Miroku mumbled downtroddenly. "I have to entertain Mushin with my knowledge of what Monks were like before the Shikon no Tama and everything... again."
"I didn't ask you," stated Sango coolly.
"Although," Miroku began, looking thoughtful. "I could say I'm studying with you- there are a few things we should get done."
"Studying?" Sango repeated, laughing at the ridiculous statement. "You have all of your work done already, Miroku. What more could you possibly want to study on?"
"Well, we could study up on anatomy," suggested Miroku with the most serious of expressions. Sango scowled. "Chemistry wouldn't be a bad idea either."
***SMACK***
The star-filled eyes swirled in pain as Miroku hit the ground with a dull thud.
"Hentai," Sango hissed, walking away from the fallen man. "I can't believe you."
Kagome merely shook her head, strolling down the road, leaving the boy were he lay. He could get himself back on his own feet. She was content on walking mindlessly home. Still, since today wanted to prove her 'every day is the same' theory wrong and change its routine a bit, that was going to be easier said than done. Half way home, she unexpectedly ran into a detour- literally.
"Kya!" she screamed in surprise, stumbling backwards. Grasping the nearest thing to her, which happened to be the detour's companion, she fell ungraciously to the cold, cement ground.
"Ouch!" a little girl yipped. "Let go!"
"Sorry," Kagome mumbled, releasing the girl's arm. "I didn't mean it-"
A hand snaked around her throat, squeezing the sentence to its death and bringing a trembling teenage girl up to eye level with its owner. "Watch where you are going, human," a cold voice spoke, snatching the teen's attention from the hand that pressed menacingly on her airway.
Gasping and open eyes enough to take in the speaker, Kagome came face to face with a youkai. His golden eyes gave him away- the pointed, elf-like ears and the clearly demon markings helped complete that judgment. His gaze was expressionless, almost haunting in a sense... She could only hope that he wasn't a heartless youkai, but his looks didn't give her much to hope about.
Everything but the fluffy, boa-like object encircling his unused arm gave her a feeling of unease and hopelessness.
"I could kill you right here if I wanted to," he stated, his grip tightening in emphasis. "However, I will not waste my time."
Kagome's eyes widened as far as they could while he released her neck, dropping her to the ground gracelessly. She coughed, bring her own hand up to massage the throbbing body part, gasping for much needed oxygen. "Th-thank you, sir..."
The man turned away, taking a step as he continued to speak, "You will not live if it happens again... Come, Rin."
The small girl - the same one, Kagome noted, that she had pulled to the ground with her earlier - studied the teenager for a moment, as the teenager returned the scrutiny, her hand still unconsciously rubbing her throat..
The girl, Rin, looked to be the same age as Souta, around 11 or so. Her hair was cut short- the sign of a slave- and her cheeks were smudged with dirt. The dress she wore looked as if it had seen more years than the Shikon no Tama had; it was as if she were covered by mere rags. Kagome couldn't help but feel pity for the child.
However, to Kagome's surprise, Rin smiled brightly in forgiveness, bowing before she left. Most slaves were not even permitted to smile! With the excitement- terror- from the encounter with the youkai, then with the child slave, Kagome swore that if her heart ever returned to normal, she would die from the sheer shock of it.
This was the first time, and the last time, she prayed, that she had ever encountered a youkai that closely. She wasn't up for another meeting.
So much for a normal day...
Kagome yawned, flopping down onto her bed. She had always thought it humorous that she lived in a shrine house with the billions of dollars her family had. Her father was just trying to keep the money, she guessed. No need making a gamble like buying a mansion only to lose the job he had- that's how he had explained it.
'Nothing to do, again... There's nothing on t.v. to watch-even with the 500 different channels-, no new books to read... Of course, I could do my homework... Is there really nothing better to do than homework?!' She was back to being bored. 'What's the point of having money when there is nothing to do with it!'
Sighing, she stood to look out her window, watching the moon's light shimmer through a break in the clouded night sky. Her life seemed to always be reflected there, in the endless expanse... So strange. She felt so empty inside, her mind fogged and her hope dimming. A hope that maybe there was such a thing as a happy ending- or at least a happy middle in her story.
Too bad, there wasn't one thing in her life right now- minus her friends and younger brother- that made her happy in the least. Money meant nothing- only that, to the public, she was a role model and must 'uphold the family honor'. In other words, she must play the perfect daughter. She was sick of it.
Buyo, her obese cat, meowed for attention, patting at her hand that was closest. Giggling, Kagome scratched Buyo's chin. "Of course, I couldn't forget about you, now could I?"
"Mroow!"
"That's right," she said, sitting on the edge of her bed. Her life was so dull.
'Money,' she snorted. 'The start of all wars and end of man-kind's peace. How could it mean so much?'
Her hand went to her neck once more, rubbing away at the pain that had long since passed... '...Or is it... power?'
The phone rang as Kagome finished her final draft for the Language Arts 'Summer Time Essay' explaining what was oh, so special about the prolonged break from school. Why they were required to do homework on the first day was far beyond her.
"Moshi, moshi," she heard her brother greet from down stairs. There was a brief pause. "IT'S FOR YOU, SIS!"
"THANKS SOUTA!"
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL!"
"OKAY, SOUTA!"
Kagome laughed silently as she bound down the stairs to her awaiting brother, ruffling his hair as she reached for the phone. He pouted, slapping away her offending hand and left with a huff.
"Kagome speaking," she announced brightly.
"Hey, Kagome," Miroku responded, questioning her about the background noise.
"Souta's blaring the radio, again," sighed Kagome, placing her forehead on the wall in front of her as fatigue set in. "What did you call for?"
"... Well... I was wondering if you'd do me a favor."
"Depends."
"... It's Sango."
"That much is obvious, Miroku," she informed him, chuckling at his pause in response.
"Can you go to dinner with us- she won't go without you," he grumbled. "I still can't understand it. She's always saying, 'not without Kagome' or 'is Kagome gonna be there' or 'what, just you and me? Kagome isn't going?'"
"Trust is the first step to a woman's heart- or at least in this case," Kagome explained. "She doesn't trust you to stay to yourself."
"I try, though. Isn't that enough?"
"Nope!"
Beep.... Beep.... Beep....
"Hold on, someone's trying to get through."
"Sure."
"Kagome speaking."
"Hey, Kagome-chan," chirped Sango from the other line. "Listen, before you start that whole pointless- oh, hey, how you doing- stuff, I have a really big favor to ask of you-"
"Let me guess," Kagome muttered dryly, sighing as she rattled off the situation. "You want me to go with you to a restaurant so that you and Miroku can have some time together, yet not 'together together' and have me play monkey in the middle when he touches you and you slap him, and have me take your side in all of your arguments just to prove Miroku wrong- even if he is absolutely, one hundred percent, over the top correct?"
"... Yeah, I guess you could say that," Sango stammered. "How did you know?"
"Miroku's on the other line."
"Oh... That explains it..."
She sighed, shaking her head as her friend began to grumble about the sneaky boy who beat her to pitching Kagome the idea. Typical Sango for you.
"Hey, I'll patch you in on the other line-"
"No, wait-"
The damage was done.
"Sango?"
"Hello, you have reached the Saito residence," Sango began, deepening her voice. "We are sorry to inform you that we are presently away from home. Please leave your name and number after the beep... Beep..."
"Dude! You totally sound like a hottie- what's your number again?" Miroku exclaimed. Kagome slapped her forehead. The dolt! Oh, but he wasn't finished with 'Saito', yet. "Name's Miroku- call me, k? 733-"
"Miroku!" Sango screeched in rage. "You h-"
"Hey- you're really there!" Miroku chirped. "Hold on, I was just getting through to Saito- anyway... 733-72-"
"Beep!" Sango mimicked again.
"Nooooo!"
"Miroku, you idiot!" Kagome yelped. "I thought we were going to the restaurant..."
"Ah, Sango dear, did you ask Kagome yet?"
"Obviously," Sango hissed.
"Yes, I'll go," Kagome answered with a sigh, cutting off anything Sango might say to discourage him or start another useless fight. "The Heart's Delight, right?" A murmur of concurrence sounded through the receiver. "Sure, I'll be there, but I have to bring Souta."
"No problem," Miroku chuckled. "The more the merrier."
"True," muttered she, twisting the phone cord around her finger as her mind blanked out a moment. After listening to Miroku sing some unknown song for a moment, Kagome shook herself back to reality. "Well, what time should I be there?"
"6:30," Miroku answered instantly, followed by "6:00," from Sango.
"What!? We're supposed to meet at 6:00," Sango screeched.
"But, Sango dear, can't we have just a little alone time?"
"For you to grope me!?"
"... Um..."
As yet another fight broke out, Kagome hung up, calling for Souta to tell him to get ready. It was already a quarter passed five and she didn't want to show up late and find Miroku on the ground and pieces of a shattered chair around him...
She shivered. Just how did he live through it?
"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" Souta whined, pulling his sister by the arm as they walked through the semi-crowded streets of Tokyo. "I'm hungry!"
"You're always hungry, Souta..."
"Sesshomaru-sama, Sesshomaru-sama!" a squeaky, highly pitched voice called out as a green-toad like youkai walked passed the girl, slapping her with his staff on the back. "Out of my way, filthy human. Sesshomaru-sama, Sessho-oh?"
Kagome rubbed her sore back as the toad went flying down the pavement to land a few feet in front of her. She blinked. 'Wha...?'
"Be quiet," a monotonous voice ordered, as a man brushed past the still confused teen.
"I'm sorry, m'lord," the toad exclaimed, jumping to his feet and bowing low... repeatedly... without any acknowledgement from the silver haired demon.
"A youkai slave?" Kagome mumbled in a puzzled manner.
The bowing being stopped to glare at her and yell. "I am not a slave, you wretched slim!" His staff swung around, the Old Man's Head facing her. "You'll die for your insult!"
"Jaken," Sesshomaru barked. "Let her be. You are wasting my time."
Jaken turned startled eyes to the man ordering him around. "But, m'lord-"
"Wait," Kagome began, recognizing Sesshomaru's voice. "You're that man I ran in to earlier, aren't you?"
"S-s-s-she's talking to you," Jaken gasped. "And she ordered you to 'wait'." Then snarled. "She'll pay for speaking out of place with such rebellion."
"You are wearing my patience thin," the youkai stated simply, drawing a foot up and kicking Jaken away. He looked back at her with his golden gaze. Her heart faltered. "Girl, consider yourself lucky that I've already shed blood today."
That was the last he said as he approached the unconscious toad youkai, kicking him farther down the road. (A/N: Just a quick note on my own belief. I truthfully think that Sesshomaru wouldn't be himself without Jaken- Jaken's his only friend(companion) through the beginning of the series. I like to think he doesn't look at Jaken as a servant, but someone to vent anger out on- k?- and no, I'm not saying he's gay- GOOD GOD, help us all if he is... *shutters* Ewww....)
Kagome took a deep breath to help slow her quickly pulsing heart, pushing her brother toward the restaurant as he just stood and gaped at her, sending chills down her spine. "Quit that!"
"..." The boy's eyes grew in size as his mouth clamped shut. He looked away, a smile starting to form...
By the time they had arrived- a whole three seconds late- Souta's lips were pulled back as far as they could go in a beaming grin. Kagome didn't bother to ask what he was so proud of as a screech sounded through the air, causing Kagome's heart to jump in her chest. What if someone was being killed by a youkai right here, right now!?
But...
She knew it wasn't life threatening...
After all....
Miroku had a hard head...
" HENTAI!!!!!!!!!"
*SMACK*
Souta shot through the building in a flash, hurried to get to Miroku and Sango. Kagome, almost grudgingly, followed.
Miroku was sprawled on the floor beside a fuming Sango sitting in one of the four chairs surrounding the empty table. That glowing handprint looked very menacing....
"Um... sorry, I was late," Kagome said sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. "Ran into a little... detour."
"It was sooooo cool!" Souta shouted, grabbing Sango's sleeve and tugging. "Kagome stood up to a youkai- a youkai lord!"
Sango's jaw dropped as she surveyed her friend for injuries. Kagome shook the look off. Miroku laughed in his unconscious state. "Silly Sango- that boomerang is heavier than you..."
"Um... right," the dream-mentioned girl muttered uncertainly. "... Maybe I hit him a little too hard this time..."
"But, that suit covers everything," he pouted.
"No, I don't think so..."
"Spandex... hm... hot springs..."
"Definitely not," Kagome giggled, taking a seat. Today was so much... different...
She could only hope tomorrow would be just as eventful. She needed excitement in her life.
Tick-tock-tick-tock
Tick-tock-tick-tock
tick-tock-tick-ZZZZ
ZZZZ-ZZZZ-ZZZZ-ZZZZ
ZZZZ-ZZZZ-ZZZZ-ZZZZ
"KAGOME!" her mother screeched, the sound muffled by the golden alarm-clock whose bell was constantly vibrating. "GET UP!"
"HM UMPH!" she shouted into her pillow, an arm thrusting out to punch the offending noise maker. The clock hit the wall with a satisfying 'clang!'. "Shtuphid Shoutah... Keephink mey umph wif shtuphid shtoriech." (Translation- just in case ^_^- "Stupid Souta... Keeping me up with stupid stories.")
Yawning widely and turning to lay on her back, Kagome rubbed her eyes clear of sleep, the dreamy glaze washing out.
Last night she had been stuck at the restaurant for three hours- to let Miroku eat since he was knocked out for a good two hours- and listened to her encounter with that odd silver haired youkai. Of course, it was exaggerated greatly. After trying to correct him for the twelfth time, she gave up and let him tell it his way.
.... Then when she got home, Mom and Dad were back and fussing over her unkempt hair... until Souta exclaimed, "Kagome yelled at a youkai!" She sighed, "I did not yell, I asked a question." Souta countered, "He tried to kill you- then the other guy, another youkai, saved your life! Then he-"
The whole time, her parents got a distant look in their eyes and edged away from her...
... What was their problem...?
She shrugged it off and got dressed in a rush.
At breakfast, her parents, again, stayed away from her. They said nothing more than 'good morning' before acting like she wasn't there. Not like she cared. At least they weren't yelling at her for not brushing her hair into the 'perfect sweeping' ponytail.
Leaving, Kagome trotted out the door happily smiling, halting only to hear the one statement that could make her scowl.
"Tidy your hair up, Kagome!" her mother called from the dining room.
"Of course, Mother Dearest," Kagome hissed beneath her breath, her sunshine dispersed completely.
"Oh, Kagome," Kikyou called as she strutted into their first hour class room. "I'm sorry to disappoint you dear, but I'm leaving for today- can't miss my manicure."
"You came to school just to tell me?" Kagome asked the beaming girl. "Man, you have no life, do you?"
Kikyou's smile faltered as a serious, and slightly depressed, look took residence on her face. "... What kind of life am I supposed to have with youkai running it?"
"What, you're a slave now?" Kagome laughed, disregarding the somberness that surrounded the girl in front of her. "Oh, the day that Queen Kikyou the No-Life-Slut becomes a slave is the day I die happy."
'Much thanks, Sango,' Kagome thought as a hand caught Kikyou's wrist to stave off the assault.
"Not today, Kikyou," Sango hissed. "You'd break one of your precious nails."
Kikyou spun on her heel, stomping to the doorway. "Fine, but Kagome-chan..." She paused, then turned back to the girl sitting lazily in her assigned desk. "... You missed a strand- bad girl. Didn't your parents tell you to keep tidy, Princess Perfect?"
Kagome's eye twitched as she promptly crumbled the pencil in her hand to create a pile of now useless sawdust and lead shavings. Oh, that does it!
"Wow..."
The astonished whisper from Miroku was enough to twist her anger into curiosity. She gazed at the boy seated to her left, one chair behind Sango. He was looking at her desk... She did, too...
"What?" she asked, sliding her attention back to the amazed classmate.
"You're strong..."
This time both eyes began to twitch irritably. "Mi-ro-ku... I'm gonna-!"
BBBBRRRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!
"Okay, class, take your seats," the teacher commanded, turning away from his place at the chalk board where he had written a few words. However, his position covered it.
'Inu...? What about a dog?'
"Before we begin today's lesson, let's do a quick introductory. Students, please state your name, age, likes, dislikes, and such when I call your name. Stand when you speak."
A few students down the line, it was Kagome's turn. "Higurashi Kagome, 17. I like reading, writing, talking with friends, drawing, and singing." Taking a deep breath, she said what everyone expected her to say for dislikes... "I don't like youkai, Naraku, or the Shikon no Tama- or Midoriko... and I don't like-"
However, the teacher had moved on to the next person in line, thinking she had just given every answer she could possibly have given.
"-being ignored," Kagome whispered as she took her seat again.
She zoned out until a particular name caught her attention. Seems Sango and Miroku were also shocked into snapping to look at the called on girl.
"Saito Tsuki," a blonde said, giggling as she stood. "18. I like walks in the park and... *blush* my boyfriend."
Miroku sighed and slumped back in his seat. 'Darn,' he mouthed, snapping his fingers and gaining everyone's attention... and Sango's livid glare.
The introductions were finished once Sango complete the 'I hate' speech.
"Now, where were we...? Ah, yes," the teacher began, looking up with clouded eyes. "Facilities. Stores for humans are to purchase clothing to show we are higher than our slave brothers; for youkai, they are to flaunt the fact that we are all below them and subjected to servitude. Libraries are for humans to read about the fall of mankind, as the theater's display it. Libraries for youkai are to keep records of the humans killed and the... Blah, blah, blah, blah..."
Kagome sighed, looking at her desk and drawing symbols around the center. A flicker of white scraped across the glossed board, stopping short of the edge. A note from Sango, no doubt.
'Kagome,
Listen(well, read, I mean), I was thinking that we should go to the park later. What do you think? Kohaku's been bugging and I thought you could bring Souta so they'll stay out of our hair for a while.
Sango.'
The pencil she was drawing with began to scribble its own message on the white compressed tree fibers.
'Sango, I know who you are, okay?
That sounds fine, as long as we don't run into that one youkai... He was creepy... Yeah, I think Mom is out of town for a Women's Convention(who would want to go there, anyway?) and Dad left this morning for another business trip- four days, can you believe it? *sigh* He just keeps on going, doesn't he?(The teacher, I mean.)
^_^'
Sending it over to Sango, she noticed Miroku pouting. Smirking to herself, she grabbed a clean sheet of paper and scribbled a quick note.
'Awww, poor wittle Mirokie-poo is bein' weft out. *pout* Shows you, you pervert. Maybe Sango will tell you- if you keep to yourself- understand?'
Tossing it to the curious lecher, Kagome caught Sango's paper football as it zoomed away, almost out of range. Oh, she was mad...
'~.~
Yeah, he never shuts up. That youkai did seem kinda strange- I mean, you're still alive and everything(don't get me wrong, we- Miroku and I- owe him a big one, you know? Miroku wouldn't have survived the night if you never showed up). I don't understand the Women's Convention thing, either.
What are you doing? You aren't telling him are you?
You better not have, Kagome... *growl*'
'I'm Sango, hear me roar!
Of course I didn't tell him, you untrusting idiot! I'm not that dumb! But, he'll be asking you, I'm sure. Probably before gym *hint, hint* Yeah, I owe that guy one- two, actually. I ran into him twice... In one day... how weird.
*sigh*'
Miroku's note was thrown back at the same time Sango's left Kagome's hand.
'Oh, come on, Kag! Be a babe and tell me!'
'... Lecher... I don't really feel like losing 17 years of my life in an instant, okay? Think of all the extra skin. *shutters* Eewwwww.... *shutters again*'
Sango's letter-
'Bored-As-Can-Be,
Sorry, I jumped to conclusions. Do you think he might keep to himself just to know?
Anyway, twice, huh? Wow... he's not normal at all, is he?
Just-As-Bored-And-*Yawn*ing'
'Sleepless Dreamer,
Nope, yep, totally. I think that's all for today. *bows* Thank you, thank you!
Friendly Frowner(I'm really getting tired of his tirade, doesn't he take a breath!?)'
Miroku's note-
'You getting a cold? Well, I'll wait, I guess... I just can't guarantee anything.'
'Maybe, maybe not, and never even dreamt of it.'
The teacher was just finishing with the classic ending she had long since memorized.
"And, last but most certainly least. Schools. Schools for us humans," Mr. Never-Takes-A-Breath began, "is to learn how and how not to act in front of youkai; what we need to know to stay alive and out from under their feet; to learn about the defeat in the past that has put us in this awful position. School, in other words, is-"
"To prepare you for us," a voice drawled from the doorway, ripping a startled gasp from the students and causing the teacher to jump out of his chair and fall gracelessly to the floor.
There, leaning languidly against the room's entrance way, was the nightmare of all human beings.
With golden eyes and silver hair.
"Boo."
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
A/N: So, how was it? I'm sorry for such a long pause in between, but I have had some rather bad cases of WB every time I sit down to write this story... Maybe it's because of all the homework sitting next to me and the fact that the main setting for this story is a school... Seems reasonable.
Anyway, please review and tell me what you think. I appreciate any kind of feed back- flame me if you must! ^_^; Must sound desperate. Oh, well...
Ja ne, minna!