Hi it's me again!!! Thank you all sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for the reviews! Jane may or may NOT be the name of the baby, but we shall soon see won't we!!! Thank you all again, there's only about 7 or 8 chapters left.
Chapter 13: Come to My Window
There are lyrics in this chapter and possibly future chapters from Paul McCartney's Maybe I'm Amazed.
George heard Wendy getting sick the next morning in the bathroom. He didn't know whether to wait till she finished, or just barge on in there and confront her. Before he could make up his mind, Wendy emerged from the bathroom, wiping her mouth with a shaking hand. "Good morning, Father," She said.
He opened and closed his mouth a few times. She was used to this reaction from him, it happened when he was very flustered. "Wendy, I would like to have a word."
Wendy nodded, and led the way into her bedroom. She knew this would happen sooner or later. She'd have to talk to her parents sometime. She hadn't seen her father since he had fainted the night before, but now he looked perfectly well, if not a little angry. His mouth formed words that could possibly have started sentences, but it was if he changed his mind at the last minute. Instead, he began to pace.
"Father," She asked, "are you angry with me?"
He rubbed his hand over his thinning hair. "I don't know," He said finally. "But I am very disappointed in your judgment."
"Please," She said, "it'll be alright."
"And how will it be alright?" He asked, his voice now jumping in volume. "A young unmarried girl pregnant! Do you have any idea how scandalous this is?"
She looked her eyes with the floor. "I know what I've done, and I'm taking responsibility for it! Weren't you always telling me I had to grow up?"
"Responsibility," George spat, "You have no idea what you've done! There will come a time when that baby has to be born. There will come a time when that baby has to be raised correctly, and how is an adolescent, un-wed mother going to raise him or her properly?"
"You've raised me well," Wendy said, tears shining in her eyes. "And I---"
"Evidentially, we have not!" George bellowed. "This was the last thing that I'd expect from you, Wendy!" He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Maybe I should have sent you to boarding school while I had the chance."
"No, father, listen!" Wendy begged, "I know you're disappointed in me, I know things seem hopeless for me here, but I won't be living here! I will be in Never Land with Peter, and things are so different there! Peter loves me, and he'll love this baby." At least, she hoped he would.
George sighed, "Wendy,"
"I will be a good mother to this baby," She said. "I will give him or her a good life, I know I can!"
"How can you? It can never age there! It will never see all the wondrous things this world has to offer! Do you really want to do that to your child?"
Wendy didn't answer. How could she? Everything he said had been right, and it put her in an extremely difficult position.
Peter landed on the familiar balcony with a lump in his throat. He peered inside, and saw Wendy lying on her bed, her small shoulders trembling. He knew she was crying. All because of him. He wanted Wendy back, more than anything that was what he wanted. Amanda was a valuable asset to them, why couldn't she see that? Didn't she know that he would never leave her for Amanda? In his eyes, they were done, finis, caput. His kiss would belong to Wendy for always, and only to her. But because of his actions, he'd probably never have Wendy again.
"Baby I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time.
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you…"
Raising his hand, he had knocked on the window. He had to talk to her, at least one last time. She raised her head, and turned to the window. She saw him standing there, and the tears increased. She got out of bed, and walked to her window.
They stared at each other for what seemed like ages.
What was he doing there? She pushed open her window.
"Baby I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time
Hung me on a line
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you…"
"Peter, what are you doing here?"
He opened his mouth to speak. All he wanted to tell her was that he loved her, that he wasn't complete without her, that he needed her by his side. That's all he wanted to say. It was so easy to tell her he loved her before. But she wasn't angry with him then. Things were so much easier back then.
"Baby, I'm a man, and maybe I'm a lonely man who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand…"
But all that came out was, "Can't we go back to the way it was, Wendy?"
Peter through her hands up helplessly. "Don't you get it at all, Peter?"
"Get what?"
She wiped her tears away angrily. "I love you! I gave myself to you, I gave you everything, my heart, my soul, and you gave yourself to her."
"That's not true," He stated. "I have not…"
Wendy felt a tiny little jump in the region of her heart. So he hadn't made love to her? He hadn't kissed her? Was that what he was trying to tell her?
"You're the only one…" He started, and then shrugged, at a loss for words. "I want you to come back."
"Peter," She said, shaking her head. "I can't come back while she's still there. There's something about her I don't trust, I don't…"
"You're always talking about people changing," He said sternly. "About me changing. Why is it so hard for you to understand she has?"
"Baby, I'm a man, and maybe you're the only woman who could ever help me…
Baby, won't you help me understand?"
Wendy sighed, "I don't know what has you so infatuated with her. But some people never change. And it's clear you've made your choice. I want nothing more than to go back with you, for everything to be like it was, but I can't. Not if she's still there."
"So this is all about jealousy," He said.
"It's more than that!" She cried. "She's not to be trusted!"
"What about your book?" He snarled. "Don't you want to get that published? Have millions of fans here?"
"I don't give a damn about the book!" She cried. "If you can't understand what I gave up, what I've given up for you to have you betray me like this…" She collapsed on her bed in tears. "Just go, Peter."
"Wendy," He whispered. "I love you." There. He finally had gotten the words out again.
"How can you say that when you love her too?" She demanded, not looking at him.
Peter frowned. Did he love Amanda? He liked her, and she was beautiful, but could he actually let himself love her again? Could he actually feel the same way about her he did about Wendy?
"I don't," He said quickly.
Wendy gave a little laugh. "Look at her, and then look at me, and tell me you don't."
Peter walked to her. He was inches from her face. "I don't," He repeated, drying her tears with his thumb.
"Then send her away." She said.
Peter sighed. What was he doing? Why couldn't he send Amanda away as he did Wendy? "Wendy, even if I did tell her to leave, where would she go?"
"I don't care! You could send her back to London, anywhere, as long as it's out of the hollow."
"Send her back to London? Send her back to a place where a demented man lives across from her? You should know that better than anyone."
"You're doing it again, Peter, you're caring more about her than me."
"So you just want me to cut her out of my life completely, out of the children's lives? They like her, Wendy. What about Tiger Lily? She's a girl. Want me to cut her out of my life too?"
"You're being ridiculous."
"I am?" He asked incredulously.
She buried her face in her hands.
"Wendy, I love you. But, I've had this whole life before I met you. I want you to be a part of it, but I can't bring it to a stop."
"I'm not asking you to," She sobbed, "I just… I just can't trust her."
"Then trust me." He said. "She can try all she wants, but my heart belongs to you for always."
Wendy gave a small sob, "There's something else, another reason why I can't go back." And here came the hard part. She had been thinking all day since the talk with her father, and decided that she would leave Never Land and raise her baby. She only hoped Peter would follow her.
"What?"
She placed both hands on her belly. "I found out… I know what's wrong with me. I guess I've always knew, I just didn't want to believe it."
"What is it?" He asked, concern all over his face.
"I'm with child."
Time seemed to stand still for Peter. This couldn't be happening. "Pardon?"
"I'm going to have a baby. Our baby." She took his hand and placed it on her tummy. "You're going to be a real father."
He was silent.
"Peter, say something, please."
He snatched his hand away in disgust. "Only old men become fathers. I am not an old man, Wendy, nor will I ever be."
"But you are a father! What about the children?"
"They're not mine! They have nowhere to go, and so I take them! I cannot do this Wendy, it's not right. Pan is not a father!"
She grabbed him and made him look in her mirror. "Look at yourself. You're a teenager, you're no longer a boy."
"I did age! I aged for you, Wendy!"
"I know you did…"
"My own children do not fit into my life. They will ruin me!"
"Ruin you?" She asked, sobbing. "Ruin you? Is that what I did to you? Ruin your perfect life in paradise? Well, I'm sorry, but this baby is as much mine as it is yours!"
"I will not become a father," He whispered, his eyes narrowed to slits. "I already broke too many rules. I will not break another!"
"Baby I'm a man and maybe I'm a
lonely man
Who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand….
Baby, I'm a man and maybe you're the only woman
Who could ever help me…
Baby won't you help to me understand?"
Wendy slapped him clear across the face. "I want you to leave," She said. "And I don't ever want you to come back." She threw a pillow at him that barely missed him. "LEAVE!"
"Wendy…" He started.
"LEAVE!" She screamed, jumping to her feet.
Peter leapt out onto the balcony. Wendy slammed the window closed and locked it. He didn't need much persuasion. He turned and left, accomplishing nothing, and gaining something he didn't want to be a part of.