Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss Kreuz or any of the characters. Just this little fanfic here.
Warnings: Language, angst, deathfic, one-shot. Some Ken/Omi but I guess it all depends on how you want to take it. Is this sad? I was going for sad... Let me know what you guys think.
Ten points awarded to whom ever can guess what might have inspired this fic!
Last Words
A fanfic by Chrysoprase
If you had the chance to say goodbye to someone before they died… What would you say to them?
"Damn it!" Ken cursed under his breath as he could hear the footsteps thundering against the floor behind them. He pulled Omi a bit closer to him as the youngest member limped on his one good leg, the other bleeding profusely. This mission had been nothing but a disaster. They had been ambushed around every corner. Now Omi had but two arrows left and was completely out of darts. Ken's right hand had been severely damaged, rendering it useless to attack with his deadly claw. The strap had also been cut, leaving the bugnuk just barely clinging to his numb hand. Now what was left of the guards were after them, dozens of men with guns, and Ken knew that as soon as they caught up to them he and Omi were as good as dead.
"Abyssian! Balinese! Do you copy?!" Omi made another failed attempt to contact their two teammates over their concealed communicator. Ken gritted his teeth as they trudged along. He felt Omi quiver against him, holding back a sob. Both of them could only think the worse of the other two. If they were having this much trouble and Aya and Yoji were no longer replying to messages they could only assume one thing. They must have been dead.
Omi gasped as he felt his wounded leg could no longer do a thing to support him and he fell over, nearly dragging Ken with him to the floor. He rested on his knees breathing heavily as Ken grabbed his forearm and looked at him impatiently.
"Omi! Get up!" he ordered, too panicked to say it without the edge to his tone. Omi was unaffected by it but gave a shake of his head, denying the request with tears in his eyes both from the thought of what must have happened to Aya and Yoji and the pain that pulsed through his still bleeding leg. All he was doing was slowing Ken down and it would be ridiculous if they both were killed because of him.
"You still have both your legs, you can out run them. Just leave me," Omi requested as his head fell forward in defeat. He only felt Ken's grip on his arm tighten however as he began to shake.
"Goddamn it, Omi!" he yelled at him. He was in no mood for Omi to start being self-sacrificial. He must have been crazy to think he'd leave him there at the mercy of the barbarians behind them. He kneeled down and scooped him up into his arms and loud grunt of pain coming from him at the added weight on his wounded hand. Omi protested, shaking his head as Ken continued running down the hallways, looking for anyway to lose the killers in pursuit of them. This place made him feel sick. It looked sterile, like a hospital, it reeked of disinfectant that made Ken want to gag. The hall was brightly lit with thousands of lights, but these lights only made Ken and Omi both feel blinded.
"Ken-kun! As your leader I order you to leave me behind!" Omi insisted, hoping that his position might do something to threaten him but Ken only glared at him briefly before his eyes went right back to the path in front of him.
"Don't pull that leader crap on me! Either way if we both get killed I won't have anything to worry about..."
"Ken-kun, you idiot!" Omi shouted back at him. Though this was really no time to argue, tensions were high. Though both knew this day would eventually come but at the same time they never imagined that it would be now. Ken was disgusted at the fear he felt in his gut, the sweat that fell from sheer horror, and his instincts that kicked in driving him to try and survive. His fate was sealed, they couldn't lose them. The blood that dripped across the floor as they ran left a red trail on white tile, no way for them to ditch the enemies as they marked their path.
This running was futile. There wasn't anywhere to run to. For the first time in ages Ken's legs were beginning to ache, his throat hurt with every raw breath he took, and his right hand was now so numb he wasn't even sure it was still attached to his wrist. But one thing was sure. Either he and Omi were going to get out of this together or they were going to die together. Ken knew the latter was most likely. Either way he would not allow the death of another person he cared about, not unless he got to go with him. He wouldn't be cursed with being alone again.
The footsteps were only getting louder, they weren't putting any distance between them whatsoever. Out of the corner of his eye Ken noticed a door that was ajar. Knowing that running was getting them no where he decided if there was even the slimmest chance of he and Omi getting out of there it wasn't going to be running. Stopping at the door with Omi still in his arms he kicked the door completely opened and slipped inside. His eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness. Crates lined the walls and sat scattered over the fairly large room. Still breathing heavily from exhaustion he sat Omi down against the wall and then proceeded to push one of the huge crates in front of the door, anything to try and keep these guards from reaching them.
Omi watched without a word. He wouldn't crush Ken's spirit by telling him that doing so was only going to buy them time. In the end, this was it. They weren't going to get out of here alive or in one piece. Now with the calmness of the dark and the adrenaline fading with the chance of relaxation, Omi found himself more at peace. Willing to accept this fate that this was the day he would die. He didn't really care, anything was sure to be better than the hell on earth he had been living. Maybe he would get the chance to see Ouka again... But then shook his head at the thought. She wouldn't be in the place he was sure he was going.
Ken grunted in pain as he did his best to push the box in front of the door and at the same time trying not to use his wounded hand. He didn't even want to know what could possibly be in the boxes. When he felt the crate hit against the door he pulled back, panting as much as he was before as he paused to wipe the sweat on his forehead with the back of his arm. Turning back to where he had left his teammate he walked over to him and went to scoop him up into his arms again and resume their fleeing.
"No, don't..." Omi muttered with his gaze away from him as he pushed on his chest at arms length. Ken gave a frustrated sigh. There was no time for this, the guards were more than likely already outside the door wondering where they had gotten to and it wouldn't be long before they realized their location and broke though his excuse for a barricade.
"Omi, we have to keep moving and I've already told you I'm not leaving you behind," he told him, certain that this was another one of Omi's attempts to leave him there so he wouldn't slow him down and bring down his chances of escaping. Omi shook his head again though and this time there was a look of distraught and at the same time one of acceptance. He looked at him with glistening eyes and a weak smile upon his face.
"Ken-kun...it's over."
Ken was furious at the words. "What! Omi, we're alive, this sure as hell isn't over yet!" as long as they were still breathing he would keep going. There was no way he was going to lie down and just let them kill him so easily and he would not allow Omi to either. Omi's excuse for a smile fell as he gave a small sniffle and shook his head again. Ken found himself at a lost for words, giving a nervous glance to the door and then back at Omi. "Omi, come on...we don't have time for this," he urged while placing his hand over his. "We have to go."
"Ken-kun," Omi said this name again, his voice quivering with emotion. "We can't get out of this, you and I both know it... I-I'm tired, Ken-kun, I'm tried of running," he sighed, leaning back against the wall behind him and his eyes closing. It all seemed so pointless, he would have rather have the last moments of his life sitting there coming to terms with his fate rather than running endlessly from the unavoidable. "I don't want to fight a battle I can't win. It's over, this is it...I'm...going to die," his hand reached up to cover his face though saying the words closed the deal.
"...if that's the way you feel, then fine," Ken told him and Omi expected to hear him walking off. However instead he heard the sound of someone sitting beside him and the warmth of a person shoulder to shoulder with him. Omi opened his eyes, looking at the brunette next to him in shock. With how determined Ken had been seconds before it seemed strange that just a few words from him would change that so drastically.
"Ken-kun, what are you doing?" he questioned him and Ken was surprised at the rough tone of his voice, though mad that he had joined him in accepting their fate. "You...you don't have to give up just because I did!"
"Omi, you just basically said that it's pointless to fight a battle we can't win," Ken told him as he stared into his dark blue eyes. If Omi was giving up he had nothing to do but give up as well. As he had told himself over and over again; he and Omi would either live together or die together and if Omi had reserved himself to dying then he would have to die as well. And for some reason he was okay with that. He was okay dying. He was okay dying with Omi. "Actually I don't really mind...if I die," he admitted, saying it as thought it wasn't a sure thing yet though deep down he knew better. Omi sighed next to him, closing his eyes as he leaned against his shoulder.
"Me either."
Ken chuckled. He found that so hard to believe. "My God, Omi... You don't care if you die? You're not even eighteen. You haven't graduated, had a steady girlfriend... Haven't even gotten drunk yet!" Omi shivered next to him. Ken had a feeling it was more because of what he had just said rather than being cold.
"Damn it, Ken-kun... Is that all I'd have to look forward to in life? School, getting laid, getting drunk?" Omi wasn't impressed and he opened his eyes to stare at the wall across from them. "If you're trying to make me feel better about dying you're succeeding. I don't have anything here... Hell can't be much worse than this, can it?"
Ken shook his head as he stared down at his still bleeding hand. Depending on how long it too the thugs to get there he might end up dying of blood loss. He was sure that they had managed to cut a major vein that without medical treatment would end his life without further assistance.
"Not really... Some days... I've thought about ending it myself," he didn't know why he just admitted such a thing to Omi, the fact that on more than one occasion suicide crossed his mind, but he quick regretted it as Omi jerked away and turned to look up into his eyes though horror stricken.
"Ken-kun! You've actually thought about...about killing yourself?!" Omi clenched his jacket sleeve and Ken hated the look Omi was giving him of disbelief and of disappointment. Ken's teeth gritted and he jerked his sleeve from Omi's grasp, looking away from him just so he wouldn't have to see his face anymore and the silent words it said to him.
"Come on, Omi... Hasn't it crossed you mind? Didn't you just think it would be easier that way? Just rid the world of your presence, end this excuse of reality you're in?" if Ken could have seen Omi's face it would have been made obvious that the boy was furious with him. He scoffed, looking away from him and Ken felt upset with him that he didn't understand. That he didn't just agree with another small sigh and end the conversation with that.
"You...you've always been so selfish," Omi muttered and that was the saying that surprised Ken. Ken took his eyes off the ground to stare at Omi.
"What?"
"You're so selfish!" Omi repeated it without hesitance or care for his teammate's feelings. His eyes stared into his as he spoke again. "You could think about killing yourself... You didn't care at all of how much that would hurt me?!" Omi's face flushed a little as he said it but he would not take it back because he meant the words completely. Ken was his friend, his best friend he dare to think and hearing him admit to such thoughts just made him realize that the feelings must have not been returned to him at all. "I care about you, Ken-kun... You're my friend and it would have hurt me so much to see you die knowing...knowing that you took you own life and I...I couldn't stop you."
Ken felt a lump in his throat that would not permit him to defend himself. He couldn't. All this time he thought of how the world was so unfair to him for taking so many away from him when in killing himself he would have been doing the same to Omi. He shook his head with a small curse at himself. Omi was right; he was selfish. Ken reached out and placed his one good hand on Omi's shoulder. Omi looked down at the hand and then back to Ken's face as Ken frowned at him miserably.
"Omi...I'm sorry, you're right, I wasn't thinking."
"Ken-kun, if you felt that way...why did you want to live so much? You were pushing me to live..."
"I don't know," Ken laughed to himself. "Guess I just have an ego problem... I didn't want someone else to take the credit or something."
"Why didn't you tell me you felt this way?" Omi asked, appearing to ignore the previous comment. Omi always fascinated Ken with his adverse thoughts, that the four of them were somehow a family. Talking about spending holidays together and going out to dinner. Of course, the three of them could never refuse his cerulean eyes. So maybe in someway Omi had caused them to be a family. A sad, sick little excuse but a family nonetheless. But Ken never felt he could share such private thoughts with anyone, not even Omi, someone who he knew deep down in the pit of whatever heart he had left that he would sacrifice himself to help him.
"Where would I begin with something like that?" he could think of many ways though each seemed as stupid as the last. Though the thought had crossed his mind, maybe once or twice. Knocking on Omi's door and just requesting that he sit and chat with him awhile even if they talked about nothing more than the weather outside. Just to not be alone for so long. But in the end for one of the many reasons and excuses he had stored in the back of his mind he never did. He never seeked out the friendship Omi so readily offered to him.
And he also knew in the back of his mind that this was the reason for that. He looked at Omi and it felt like someone ripping apart his internal organs, squeezing his lungs, and cutting any source of him taking in oxygen. Though he rejected most of the boy's affections he still cared for him. He still was the person on this earth that he cared for most and he cared about him so much that he was sitting there; bleeding and fully ready to die with him. He didn't know why but he had always envisioned Omi being the one who got out of this life and healed from the experience... But instead he was to die here. To be completely forgotten from the earth next to him of all people.
"Ken-kun..." the sound of his voice pulled him from his thoughts. Thoughts of Omi and all the things he would never experience, never have.
"It shouldn't be like this," he told the younger man, his head falling back against that wall as his eyes closed. "You were...you were suppose to get out of this, Omi. You were the one...the one that was supposed to live," he stood firm on that thought, that this wasn't right. Although he knew there was nothing he could do he still felt he was failing Omi by allowing him to give up his life so easily. But Omi's hand came up to his shoulder, gripping it tightly and Ken opened his eyes once more to look into his. And Omi shook his head with a faint smile on his lips.
"I...I don't think I'd want to live without you guys," it surprised Ken to hear. He thought it was insane that Omi valued all of them so dearly, more than his very own life. "You guys were the first real family I've ever had. That I can remember anyway," he laughed lightly at that. He was about to die and his memories of his childhood were still locked up in his mind. He often wondered if it was better that way... "It doesn't bother me, thinking about dying. Because...I'll be with you," it was that moment Ken's heart skipped a beat. Hearing the words, how much he cared for him. "I'll be with you and Aya-kun and Yoji-kun... And that's fine with me. I don't think I'd mind hell that much as long as I was with you guys. Won't be...much different from this," he mused, smile still drawn on his face as he stared at the wall across from them. As he finished speaking Ken felt the urge to say something, do something. Hug Omi even and tell him it would be all right, he wasn't sure exactly what. Ken raised his one still functional hand and brushed back Omi's bangs, causing Omi to look at him in surprise.
"Thank you, Omi."
Omi was confused by the words. "What for?" he didn't see where anything he had previously said would be reason for him to receive thanks from him.
Ken chuckled. "For everything," for the years of friendship and support, even that of which Ken had turned away. Omi had no idea and Ken started to think that perhaps it really was Omi whom had kept him alive thus far. His kind words, his smiles, just knowing that he was there. He always knew he'd die with regrets but he certainly hadn't thought it would be of this. Of all the wrong things he had done this was the one that plagued him most; the one regret he thought of as they sat there was of all the times Omi had smiled at him and he hadn't smiled back. "I just want you to know...even though I've never really shown it I still... Care about you, you know?" he blushed slightly as he said the one thing he had always been far too embarrassed to say to him. But humiliation and rejection wasn't the first thing on his mind anymore.
Omi smiled at his partner, at his friend... Because he knew what he was saying was his goodbye. "Thank you..." the words meant more to him than Ken would ever know. Knowing that he had someone whom had always cared for him, that was enough. That he would not die alone and unloved. For once Omi found himself lost with exactly what he wanted to say in their last moments together. People rarely got the chance to say such a goodbye, most died before the words were spoken, before the true feelings were exposed. He wanted to say something meaningful to him but the right words didn't seem to come.
"Ken-kun... Do...do you really believe in life after death?" he questioned him as he stared down at his own hands that were now nestled in his lap. Ken pondered the question for a moment. His faith was about the same as Omi's. He didn't know.
"I guess we'll find out together, won't we?" Ken grinned as his arm slipped around Omi's shoulders and he pulled him a bit closer. Omi's smile was faint but there and he laid his head upon Ken's shoulder as he did earlier. Both of them wanted to believe that they would see each other once this ended, once this lifetime ended. Even if they ended up in hell they just wanted to suffer there together. Ken turned his head as he reached up to ruffle Omi's already disheveled hair. "I won't let you go alone," it was a promise.
"Then...I won't be afraid," he responded as he lifted his head off his shoulder to look at him again. He wanted to take in his sight, remember him perfectly just in case this was truly the last time he'd see him.
"Omi..." he was courageous and it was something Ken always admired about him.
Although his minds logic knew it was so Ken still felt sickened at the thought of Omi dying. Of watching him dying, right in front of him. It was comforting at the same time to know he'd be going with him, that the image wouldn't haunt him for long but it didn't change his heart of hearts telling him how wrong, how screwed up this was. Omi was supposed to survive. That one sentence continued to repeat over and over and it made his chest ache at his helplessness to do anything about it. Anything but stand by Omi and go willingly with him to the other side or whatever truly awaited them after death even if it was nothing more than a dreamless sleep.
But he would be with him. He'd find a way to matter what. And Ken probably wouldn't have believed if Omi had told him he was thinking the exact same thing. He would not let his friend, let Ken suffer alone. Not anymore, not ever again.
It was the last thing on their minds as a loud noise came from behind the door. The door was being broken in as the same guards whom had been chasing them finally discovered their whereabouts. Ken gritted his teeth as he heard their shouting, the sound of the door breaking in front of them. Ken pushed himself to his feet as he turned to face the door. He wouldn't die just sitting there, he would stand up to his killers even though there was nothing he could do. He would just stand there and wait for their reapers to break through the door.
"Ken-kun?" Omi asked but he didn't need a response because he could tell merely by his expression what he was doing.
"I'm not going to sit here and just die... I'm at least going to stand up to him even if I can't fight back."
Omi also climbed to his feet, managing to stumble over to Ken on his useless leg. He would join him, truly die with him. "I'll die...right next to you."
Ken managed a smile during this grim situation. "Wouldn't have it any other way," he joked while at the same time he meant the words.
They stood facing the door, facing their death, and hiding the fear they both felt well. That exact moment the door gave way, wood hitting against the floor as at the same time Omi winced, his courage diminishing with each passing second. Any hints of a smile either of them had shared were gone. Next was the big crate that Ken had pushed in front of the door. Though it only took a moment to move out of the way to Ken and Omi it felt like weeks. The guards came rushing in, guns already in hand. Though there was shouting and yelling both Ken and Omi couldn't hear it, the only thing they heard was the sound of their hearts beating against their chests, pounding in their ears. The guards' guns raised at them. Ken instinctively pulled Omi closer to him, though he could do nothing to protect him from their fate. Omi clenched Ken's jacket in his hands.
Their eyes left the barrel of the guns upon them and their eyes met. Ken could see the tears in Omi's eyes threatening to fall. But it wasn't because of fear, it was because of sadness. Maybe he too had thought he'd live longer than this. Maybe he had thought he and Ken would live longer than this. Maybe...deep down he had imagined the two of them years from now laughing and enjoying life with the past behind them. But they were all hopeless, futile dreams that were ended before started.
Ken felt the need to tell him it was all right though it was a lie. They were going to die, any hope of ever leaving Weiss and living their lives peacefully was gone. They'd die this way, in Weiss, as killers. Leaving nothing behind but the trail of blood that still covered their hands, forgotten quickly and completely unknown to the world. Ken frowned back at Omi. Maybe he had shared the same thoughts as him of once receiving the happiness that they didn't deserve. Maybe he had even pictured himself once being happy again like he used to be. Maybe even in that dream he had been with Omi.
The guns cocked but still their eyes remained on each other. As they stood there in their last few seconds of life Omi suddenly smiled one last time. He smiled for Ken as he always did as at the same time tears now freely cascaded down his face. Ken couldn't help but smile back at him in spite of his sorrow. Omi always made him smile. He treasured this smile more than any other because he knew this was the last one he would receive from him.
Then the guns fired.
The force of the bullets piercing into their bodies was enough to knock them apart. Ken's hands fell away from Omi as at the same time Omi's grasp on him was lost. As they fell it almost seemed like time lasted forever. It felt as though they'd never hit the ground. Yet when they did both were too numb to feel it as their limp bodies thudded against the hard cement floor. They didn't feel the pain, they didn't feel...anything.
As Ken's opened he saw Omi lying motionless only a few feet away from him. His eyes half-lidded, his hand up close to his face as he stared back into Ken's green eyes. It seemed agonizingly slow yet also too fast. Omi felt cheated, he had the moment to say goodbye to Ken and he had been at a lost for words. Now as he lie there he wanted to say something, anything, but his lips wouldn't move. Nothing would move, he couldn't even breathe. He was paralyzed on the floor, like a soul trapped in a useless doll.
'Ken-kun... I'm not afraid...'
'It wasn't supposed to end this way, Omi.'
Tears still fell from his eyes without a sound from him. Ken watched him cry as blood spilled around him. It seemed too soon, all of this seemed wrong... There was still so much he wanted to say to him, so many regrets he wanted to admit to him. But he found no words would produce from his throat as he could only continue to gaze back at Omi in silence. Struggling still, breath slow and ragged he used every bit of strength he had left trying to reach out for him. His hand quivering, shaking as he tried to touch him, tried with all his might to move his hand close enough to Omi's. But he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried Omi just seemed miles away, he couldn't reach him.
'Omi... I'm sorry I didn't let you closer. But now I'll stay with you. I'll stay with you until the end of time...'
The darkness was surrounding them, eyelids becoming heavier with each forced breath they took. No matter how hard they breathed they just could not get enough oxygen. Though Omi tried to move his arm, tried to meet Ken half way, his body would not comply with his brain. He could only stare, only watch as his friends eyes began to fall close as did his own. He wanted to speak, to say goodbye. There was still so much he wanted to say.
'Ken-kun... I didn't need to say goodbye... Because I'll see you again soon, won't I?'
The sounds of their breathing stopped, the beating of their hearts was no longer there.
Their hands only a few inches apart, though they never quite touched.
End