No matter how loud he screamed, it didn't make his pain and anguish any less, he had came to realize, as he felt the sticky substance leak out of his body, and run down his pale skin, staining it.
The air now held a different scent, the metallic odor of blood oozing out of freshly carved wounds, mixing with the light scent of laundry detergent, the scent he had associated with Clark Kent. It was the scent he would get off with, the intoxicating smell of clean fresh innocence…words that again described his friend.
But today, though he had clutched the shirt to his nose, and sniffed the essence into his soul, he didn't feel the way he always did, like he was falling into a pit of pure ecstasy.
He felt pain and suffering, he felt razor sharp needles poking through his skin to only reappear on the other side, and he needed to bleed. He needed to cleanse himself from the disease that was ravishing his system, and the best way to bleed it out.
He had taken his fencing sword, and thought of bad thoughts, until they consumed his body. With a simple slit of the sword, and his wails of pain, he had cut his right leg open, and it was now bleeding. The blood was pooling on his silk covers, and he watched it, with a slight smile before he began to cry.
I wanted you to be with me
For so long I don't even know by now
He had screwed up telling Clark he knew the truth. He was more leaning towards a gentle talk then a gentle kiss under the moonlight. Unfortunately life had its other plans, and he now had his alien "lover"/best friend hating him, and probably pondering on ways to kill him.
That would be a good thing if that were to happen. At least he would know where they stood. But there was no showing of what Clark was feeling. Nothing at all…no words, no actions…when nothing was happening, that was the time to start fearing the retribution.
But now that I've given up on you
Defiantly you see me
A week had past since Paris. They had only saw each other once. It had been in passing, Clark had set his produce order on his front porch. Lex was working out in the garden, and he had looked up to see Clark. Their eyes had met and Clark had sped away, not bothering to not use his super speed.
His eyes had said it all, he was in pain, he had been crying. He wanted to hide it, and wanted to cause pain as well to others and himself. He felt anger, and they lay in a checkmate until someone made a move.
And it would be Lex's…
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Ruby, the color of the most precious stone in the world; it lay so close to him, and he touched it carefully, feeling the slick surface along the padding of his thumb, a perfect contrast between his rough and its smoothness.
He sniffled, as he picked the ring up, and he massaged it around his hand, praying to an unspoken God that he didn't lose complete control this time, and he slipped on the ring, made out of pure red kryptonite.
Power surged through his body, and he felt free. All his worries were draining out of his body, and he felt so light as if he could jump and float in the air for eternity.
And as soon as it began, he hit the ground, and he fell to his knees, his body cowering and trembling.
He opened his eyes to still see the ring on his finger, glowing, still infiltrating his body with its influence, but he didn't feel it anymore. He felt like something had hit him, and he couldn't move.
It wasn't pain, it was worse then that. He felt sick, like bile was in his throat, like he would puke. He wanted to curl up and go to sleep forever just to stop the feelings of ruthless hatred for himself and the feel of his lungs collapsing on his chest, making him long for the cold liquid of the air.
He wasn't alerted to when he finally screamed, until he felt warmth pour into his body, from the cuddling to his mother's chest, as he twitched, sobbing and screaming. She finally was able to get the ring off him, which he then collapsed, feeling his mother wipe the sweat off his brow in a motherly gesture.
"Why isn't it working?" he whispered, as his mother ran her fingernails through his curly locks, comforting him.
"What isn't it, honey?"
"The red kryptonite."
"Drugs can never mask the pain we feel inside, they only worsen it sometimes…" she kissed him on the cheek, and he fell into a regular pattern of breathing, not responding to her comments. He understood what she meant, and she knew what he needed to hear.
"I don't think Lex meant to hurt you."
"He didn't try to but he did."
His mother nodded, and he scooted off her lap, realizing that he was twice her size, and not a little child anymore. Their hands were still interlaced, and she smiled at him, wishing for him to continue.
" I'm scared he's going to tell everyone about me…"
"Do you think he will?"
Clark sighed, not sure how to answer. " Depends…"
"…On what you do next." His mother finished his thought for him, and he smiled at her, for understanding. He climbed to his feet, picking her up and swinging her around, clutching her for dear life. She was laughing and when her feet could once again touch the ground, Clark was gone.
Walking away I see the pain
That you put me through
Lost in your game, to change the same
Forever gone, Forever you
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Might midnight be a good hour to call Lex Luthor for he was almost always awake at that time, as he was haunted by the clock at those times. Only those who lived with him knew of his obsession to never go to sleep before midnight because he believed that after midnight, no one would die, for it was a brand new day.
It had been a myth his mother had told him when he was in the hospital, as they tested him to find out why all his hair had fallen out. He hadn't believed her, but the day his mother died, it had been ten p.m. and he been asleep. It seemed everyone he had ever loved had died before the hour of midnight.
That was partly why when Lex heard the phone ring at 11:30, while he was watching old T.V, shows because he couldn't sleep, he knew who it would be on the other line. He just answered it and answered okay, before driving to Smallville hospital, going three times the speeding limit, while making frantic phone calls to various doctors the Luthor family had on hold for things like this.
His father was going to be dying within the next few hours, his liver could not longer filter his blood. Lex's superstition said that he would die before Lex got to the hospital, and so he had to be there before midnight so his father would live longer.
He also wanted to say his last good-byes to his father's face instead of saying them to the vacant air around his grave that would be restructured within three days. It wasn't by chance that it was three days, Lionel had a superiority complex and decided to follow in the bible's definition of Jesus rising from the dead on the third day.
It was 11:43 when he had arrived, and he went to the third floor where his father would have some privacy in a private sector of the hospital, fittingly it was founded by the money the Luthor's had given to them as charity and public service attention for the press.
His father had waited for him, and was resting in a drugged induced state, and the doctors told him not to wake up his father who was still sleeping from the helicopter ride from Cancun to Smallville, a several thousands mile journey. He would be awaking soon, and then they shall talk. They promised he wouldn't die before that. Lex was sure of it, he had a vile full of reviving medication just in case he wanted to get answers out of his father. It would be fitting his father would have to suffer the same fate as the rest of the victims he had used it on, to see their loved ones cry again when they died for the second or third time.
The grandfather clock had struck twelve, and Lex could breathe a sigh of relief for his father wasn't dead. He stood up to check up on Lionel, peering through the glass to see the heart monitor beating continuously with its jagged negative tan curves, when he felt a soft hand pressing onto his back, before it hit him, banging his nose against the glass.
Lex spun around to find angry pale blue eyes staring at him, and a hand pressing onto his neck, cutting off his air supply. Lex smiled at the patriarch of the Kent family, and waited for the man's anger to show up and tell him why he did he feel it was necessary to make blood run out of his nose.
"What'd you do to Clark?" he spit out. Lex had to admit that the man was a very scary figure when in his full blown mother bear mode. Too bad the Luthor genes didn't allow him to fear anything of that sort.
"Besides talking to him, nothing…"
"Bullshit!" his head was slammed against the wall again, and Lex winced, feeling the cold air hit his scalp, as the warm blood trickled down the frozen flesh.
"I know his secret, is that what you want to know?" Lex knew it was the wrong thing to say when the grip on his throat tightened, and Lex realized that this time, no air was going to get in his lungs without some serious work.
"You are not going to hurt our son!" His head was rattling around, and it felt like every part of his body was spinning, and bleeding. He felt his neck snap, and for a second, he thought he had broken his neck until he felt the pain going through his system to reassure him he was still very much alive.
There's something very wrong about this
I think you knew all along somehow
"I am not going to hurt your son…" Lex choked out, looking into the eyes, trying to express what he couldn't say. He began to cough, and his chest seemed to have so much pressure in it, as he began to wheeze, and convulse.
"Because you love him…" Jonathon gave a harsh laugh, and back-handed Lex, digging his ringed knuckles into his stomach, tarnishing the precious flesh. He was going for a second hit, Lex anticipated when he lost his footing and began curling up into the fetal positron he had came to know as he was going to be dying soon pose.
He couldn't breathe, blood was marring his sight, and the world was spinning into confusion when he felt something slip into his pocket. He would have screamed if he had the air to do it, and he felt plastic touch his lips, and he opened, as the inhaler was operated by an invisible person.
When his breathing came back to normal, he felt a hand grab his shoulder, and lead him to a hard chair, and he felt a light material wipe the blood off his face. He opened his eyes to see Clark staring at him, worried.
You'll only take me to change my mind
Lonely, broken, and defeated
"Please forgive my father for hurting you. It will not happen again…" Clark sounded so formal, leaning his head down to hide his eyes from Lex's as he pawed his way towards the other end of the hospital.
"Clark!" he yelled.
Clark turned his head to look at him.
"Thank you!" he smiled at Clark, and Clark returned it warily.
"Will you tell?" Clark asked, as he paused by the corner of the visiting area.
Lex looked up at him, surprised, and Clark continued to speak.
"If you do, I will kill you."
Lex was speechless and Clark left the room.
The time was now 12:12, the time for wishing, for the numbers were the same. Another tradition his mother had gotten him into to.
He wished for Clark's friendship back. He wasn't going to aim high, he wouldn't wish for Clark's love.
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He was at his complete mercy now, the real cause of the anger he felt within. He had cast the sins of a father onto an unwilling son, and now they stood with their eyes locked, with the Kent in the power player position for once in their cat and mouse games.
It was true what they said about the cat and the mouse. Though the mouse might not be the stronger, they could take out the full grown lion with fighting for their life, and this mouse had finally won.
Lionel Luthor was lying in the bed, his eyes glinting in the harsh florescent lights, to watch Jonathon Kent sit down next to him, scowling. The two alpha males were looking at each other with a look akin to predators eyeing each other up as they hovered over their dead prey.
So far away, I see the truth
I see through you
"Coming here to tell me how I am a bastard and I deserve to die, or is this an apology meeting?"
"Neither of them…I am just staying here until my son allows me to leave your room…" Jonathon growled.
"I can see why, bloodying my son's nose against the glass wasn't exactly the wisest thing you could do."
"You don't even care about your son so don't pretend you do."
Lionel burst out laughing, then went into coughing, clutching his chest. Jonathon clapped him on the back a few times until the fit stopped, and helped set Luthor back onto the bed.
"Just because it doesn't appear that I love my son, doesn't mean I don't love him. I think you would know that better then anyone. Your son isn't of your blood and yet you love him. It's all the same."
Now that I see the way you play
I don't want to
"It isn't the same thing. I would do anything for Clark and he would for me. I would…"
"…Give your life to protect his secrets." Jonathon raised an eyebrow, he wasn't aware that Lionel knew so much. " Don't give me that surprised look, I am not blind. You do your duty as a father and protect them from the world. That's our role in life."
"You don't protect Lex from the world," he observed.
"You can't protect them from the truth. The world is not pretty or glorious, it's pain and suffering. I wanted him to be ready to face that world, and not be disappointed when it wasn't what he expected. I did the best I could do by him, the only way I know how."
"Did you?"
"Yeah, we can only be as great as the past allows us to be. The cycle will end with my death, and Lex as the beginning." Lionel gave him a mystic smile, and Jonathon returned it.
"Lex will never be you, he doesn't want to be like you."
"Did you realize that it was your son who made him that way? The first time Lex had ever smiled was when Clark touched him, the day I got him adopted for you. Are you going to keep denying destiny and forsake their bond?"
The billionaire noted the odd expression that had overcame his counterpart, and their eyes met in understanding.
"You and I are not so different, you have known that. Lex will always be stronger then me, because of Clark. I tried to stomp out all of his emotions, thinking they would be his downfall but they are his strength. He doesn't want to accept his fate of being like me, and that will make him the heir of my empire."
"Clark, from day one, was stronger then me. He could do anything in the world he wanted but he chose to follow my example. I raised him so he could blend in with the real world, I raised him to be a hero, but I forgot that he needed to rebel and become his own man. Lex is a good example for him, though I hate to admit it…" Jonathon hung his head, not wanting to say those last words, but never less they slipped out.
"I'm going to be dying soon, I can feel it. Can you write a letter for me to give to Lex?"
Jonathon nodded, and he picked up the pen and paper, and began to write what Lionel spoke quietly, as he drifted off to his death, peacefully and silent, so unlike the way he had entered the world, loud and announcing his presence for the world to balk in.
Walking away, I see the pain
You put me through
Lost in your game, to change the same
Forever gone, forever you
At 12:42, Lionel had died and Lex had slept through it. He awoke to see his dead father being wheeled out of his room, and a letter thrust into his lap. He opened it slowly, still drowsy and still not fully awake.
Dear Alexander M. Luthor;
I will be dying soon. And I wanted to tell you some things before I died, just in case I didn't get to speak to you.
I loved you, I am sorry I never showed it. I am the product of my parents, as are you but you have made your own way instead of following in their footsteps. Although I always made it obvious I was pissed off by it, I was so proud of you. I have never not been proud of you, I couldn't express it, and I'm sorry it had to be in death that I tell you this. I finally have the courage to tell you things.
I am sorry I blamed you for the death of Julian, and what you said was right, things would have been so much better if I had thought about it, and not immediately take it as you did it. Your mother tried to tell me that before she died, but I wasn't ready to hear it. I am ready now to hear it in heaven, though if I go to hell, it wouldn't be too big of a surprise. I'll just take it over and lead a rebellion back to heaven.
I am sorry for treating you the way I did. I know my words will never make up to the pain I must have caused you but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, and try to understand why I did the things I did.
I hope that when you get some children for yourself, though whatever means, you treat them the way you wished I had treated you, and so this cycle may break. I hope you can find the father you are looking for in life in this world, and I know you will make me proud, Lex. You always have…
- Lionel Luthor -