Disclaimer: I don't own FF8. I don't think any one person really does. Is there anyone within Square that can actually stand up and say, "I own Final Fantasy VIII."? I don't think so. So can we get rid of the disclaimers? No? Oh well, it was worth a try…
Alternate Fantasy
By Draic
Chapter Six: In Theory
We trudged out into the searing white snow.
Selphie broke away from us again, racing off into the distance. She clearly wanted to get there and have it over and done with - she'd started darting ahead and waiting impatiently for us to catch up from the moment we'd left the elevator. I was in no hurry - I had other things on my mind; or rather, other things to try to get off my mind.
I was aware of Quistis glancing at me anxiously over her frosted glasses and giving the same look in the direction of the small girl on the horizon. She probably disapproved of my decision to face every battle rather than retreat from the challenges. On the other hand, she became agitated every time the other girl ran ahead, apparently trying both to slow her down and hurry me up. Personally, I thought she was fighting a losing battle on both counts.
Battle itself was calming in its simplicity. It was nowhere near as complex as my life had become:
Slash and pull the trigger. Avoid retaliation. If hit, use a Cura. Slash and pull the trigger…
It worked for a time, as I lost myself in the flow of the fight. Until I noticed the blood dripping from my blade… Then I decided that maybe we had better stop wasting time and get where we were going… just as soon as I got the thick red liquid off my weapon.
Quistis was absolutely incredulous when I sat down on a rock in the freezing Trabian air, in the middle of a snowfield and pulled out my washcloth, but at least she refrained from commenting. I cleaned and polished the weapon until it shined, but… was it my imagination, or was it still faintly red? No. It had to be the light…
She seemed pleased when I began fleeing from encounters, but her previous expression returned when I began keeping pace with Selphie. In some way I couldn't define, I felt like I was being hunted.
In the end, it was still too slow for the small girl. Selphie ran out of patience and sprinted off. I got my wish, though at that moment I really didn't want it. I was in no mood to talk to Quistis about anything and she herself had barely spoken the whole trip. We wordlessly agreed to sprint after Selphie.
We caught up to her just as the walls of Trabia Garden came into view. Quistis gasped. We could see even from there that the walls were charred and blackened. Selphie was breathing hard, in almost convulsive sobs, but she didn't stop running and neither did we.
What was I supposed to do, pat her on the back and tell her it was all right? Because it certainly wasn't. For either of us. Perhaps I was exaggerating my own position, but… I felt so helpless…
As we paused at the crumbling remains of the main entrance, Quistis made to comfort Selphie, but just moved away to scan the pitted walls for some other point of ingress. She quickly found a likely spot and scaled the wall.
I hesitated. What lay behind the wall? Was there anything left? If it was all gone, would Selphie…?
"What, you're just going to leave her there?" Quistis asked incredulously.
I sighed and began to climb the barrier as well.
Whatever had happened in there had happened. However Selphie reacted was none of my business. What was important here was the status of Trabia Garden and their willingness and capacity to fight Galbadia and the sorceress, our common enemy.
Liar. You know Trabia is hurt too badly to help. You're worried that Selphie might do something drastic. You don't want to lose anyone, even her.
Shut up! Leave me alone!
Great, now I'm talking to myself.
On the other side of the wall was a cracked and broken road. A figure in yellow was barely visible, running down the path.
"Hey, Squall!"
It was Irvine, Zell and Rinoa. I couldn't believe we hadn't noticed them running behind us - and they must have, to have arrived so close to our own arrival.
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.
I watched as they exchanged embarrassed glances.
"Oh, uh…they wanted a second group to come and uh… check the damage, figuring you would have your hands full with Selphie," Zell finally offered. He grinned sheepishly - he knew I wouldn't buy it for a second.
"Where is she, anyway?" Irvine asked, looking around. "Wasn't Selphie with you guys?"
"She ran off…" I said, pointing down the road.
"Hey, we'd better make sure she's alright!" Irvine said. He caught my eye and added, "So uh… then you guys could help us check the Garden!"
"Whatever," I said, but found my voice was overlaid with two others.
Quistis and Rinoa started giggling.
Great. It looks like Rinoa is taking lessons from the dear instructor.
"Don't you have something better to do?" I snapped.
"Yeah, I don't know how you two can laugh at a time like this!" Irvine put in. "We need to check on Selphie!"
He set off down the road and given the option of going with him or staying with those two girls, I soon followed the cowboy.
Surprisingly, a fair portion of the Garden was intact, if very dirty and cracked and chaotic. We found Selphie in what probably used to be the central square, talking to another dark-haired girl who seemed to be an old friend. I was surprised at the relief I felt when I saw Selphie grinning again. She turned around and spotted us. "Oh! This is our Commander, Squall and… um, Irvine Kinneas."
Irvine took his hat off and bowed to Selphie's friend, who looked us both up and down very deliberately and turned back to Selphie.
"Gee, Selphie, you catch all the studs."
I tried to ignore that, but I already felt my face heating.
"You never tell me about the hot guys in your life," she scolded Selphie, who giggled.
I could feel Irvine's self-indulgent smirk as he replaced his hat and pulled it over his face, but my skin was burning. I wished there were some dignified way to hide behind the taller man.
"Alright," the dark-haired girl said, rubbing her hands together. "Which one's yours?"
At that, Selphie stopped giggling and suddenly I wasn't the only one going red. "Um… I don't… uh… I mean…" She was actually bobbing up and down nervously. Her friend watched her reaction and glanced at Irvine, who smiled and winked back. The girl nodded and grinned, then focussed her attention on me.
"Oh, Selphie! This guy's sooo cute! Can I have him?"
It was the most awkward situation I could remember being in and Selphie didn't help one bit.
"Oh! Squall! Thank Hy… I mean sure you ca… I mean…" She clapped a hand to her mouth and dissolved in embarrassed giggles.
"He isn't taken, is he?" her friend persisted.
"Yes, 'he' is," I snapped. "Twice over." I stormed off
"Wow, what's that supposed to mean?" I heard her ask Selphie as I left.
"You know, I have absolutely no idea," Selphie replied. "But that's pretty normal for Squall."
I can't believe I said that… Taken twice over…what did I mean?
On the one hand… well, obviously there was Rinoa. Everyone seemed to be trying to hook us up together, and despite our arguments and clashing personalities, I had to admit she was… and I… had feelings for her. But… twice over… What was this image of Quistis in green that kept sneaking into my mind? I hadn't actually taken that bloodstained letter seriously, had I? Still… it had been a fairly good mimicry of my own handwriting. And I suppose the differences could be explained by the story, however unlikely it was. But still… me and Quistis? I had never, and could never see myself going out with my Instructor. Granted, she wasn't an Instructor any more, but that was the way I'd been taught to see her. However she felt was none of my…
"Yo, Squall!"
I stopped and Zell came running up. "What is it?" I asked him.
"Well, Selphie said she's gonna look around a bit, then she'll meet us at the basketball courts. So that's where we're all going. Wanna come shoot some hoops while we're waitin'?"
I was a little surprised at the offer, but… "No thanks." I replied.
"Oh, okay," he said, sounding disappointed.
I opened my mouth and I realised with a jolt that I was actually considering asking Zell about girl trouble. Of all things and all people! Zell hadn't even realised how infatuated that library girl was with him until she followed him to Balamb just to give him a Combat King magazine. Even after his 'interview' with her friends - the 'Finding Out More About Zell' committee - and the time we discovered them comparing his answers in one of those matchmaking magazines, he still hadn't had a clue why she acted so odd around him!
Obviously, I changed my response. "Maybe later. I'm a little… tired right now."
"Oh, the Commander thing and all? Yeah, I guess it would get anyone a bit freaked after a while. Well, don't let it get to ya, man. Just remember…"
I rolled my eyes. "Let me guess. You want me to talk to all of you about it more?"
"Hell no!" Zell replied. "I probably wouldn't understand half of what you said, especially if you try to be all discreet about it or go at it sideways like that thing with Pa. I was just going to remind you to go to the basketball court. See ya!"
I couldn't help but laugh. No, Zell probably wouldn't understand a lot of what I would talk about. Visions in my head? Messages from another plane of existence? Things like these would confuse anyone.
Zell was someone who got straight to the point, with no beating around the bush. Sometimes it was nice for someone to hand things to you plain and simple, rather than all this subtle hinting Rinoa and Quistis did so often.
I spent a while moving around the remains of the Garden under the pretense that I was checking the structural damage. What I was actually doing was following Selphie around, trying to judge her reaction to the whole thing. Eventually, I decided she had expected the worst-case scenario and so she was incredibly relieved to see people still living in her former home. For the most part, she was her usual cheerful self again. For the other…
Still trailing her around the Garden, we headed for a clearing of sorts a little away from the busier areas. I had lost sight of her, but could hear snatches of her voice from a little to my right. I peered around the rocky outcrop and was greeted with a somber sight. Selphie was kneeling in the middle of a graveyard, talking in a low voice. There was no one else around. My face flushed and I moved back behind the rocks. It felt like a private moment, and I shouldn't be there. What was I doing here? I was Squall Leonhart. Other people intruded on my privacy. I'd never willingly put myself in a position where I was the intruder before. Five months ago I had refused to listen to Quistis' problems; now I was practically hunting down any issues Selphie might have. Why was I doing this now?
Know your team members, I tried to tell myself. But there was a blindingly obvious fault in that, too. My team members? When had I started thinking of these people as my team, accepting myself as the leader and accepting responsibility for the other members? I had never even included myself as part of a team before. It had always been me… and everyone else. Sure, I was part of Garden and Hyne above, I was the leader of Garden, but this felt so different. Why on earth, upon returning to Garden, had I kept the same five people by my side when there were dozens of SeeDs with better qualifications and experience than, say, Zell and Selphie, if perhaps not Quistis. Irvine wasn't even a full SeeD yet… and Rinoa? If someone had asked… and why hadn't anyone asked? …what possible reasoning could I give them for keeping Rinoa with me and not safe at Garden? That she was my client and as such I had responsibility for and to her? All the more reason for her to stay at Garden. No, the only explanation was that I felt a bond with each of them that I had chosen not to break.
That clinched it: I was doomed.
With a strange thrill, I turned to check on Selphie again…
But instead I found myself staring at two scraps of paper with my exact handwriting all over them.
I shook myself and looked around. Where was I? Oh yes, my dorm. Yes, my cadet dorm. I'd been hopelessly studying the two weird messages I'd received from… someone. Possibly myself. Except I seemed to recall being in a SeeD dorm just a few moments ago. I'd been …writing something? And there was a girl… she was cute, but I hadn't understood a thing she was saying. It certainly sounded like a dream.
I was at the window now. Strange… I didn't remember getting up from the desk… although there was also a hazy memory of writing something new on those two sheets I'd found. Why would I do that?
I returned to the desk, and yes, there was more on the pages, in the same scrawl that was not-quite mine:
I suspect this is a trick of some kind, but as I don't have a clue what's going on, I'm going to answer your questions. I seem to recall writing everything on these pages but I know for a fact that I haven't been near the infirmary in a long time, which makes the whole idea seem even more absurd. It's absolutely impossible.
I could tell that this guy had considered stopping then and there, but there was more:
My name is also Squall Leonhart and I am also seventeen, turning eighteen this month.
My mind suddenly woke from its daze. Eighteen this month! It was the same for me, and I hadn't told him when my own birthday was, so he couldn't possibly be copying my own details. If I was receiving messages from my future self, there could only be a matter of weeks seperating us at most. Although… he hadn't said which month he was in at the moment…
I passed the annual SeeD exam in late March and the night of the ceremony was the same night I met Rinoa, as well as the night Quistis lost her Instructor status. Frankly, I find the notion of Quistis and you together completely ridiculous, as I never associated with Quistis until she became my Instructor.
I winced. He was right - it would seem ridiculous. You just don't think of your Instructor that way. But I'd known Quistis for years…
Whatever feelings she may have for me are none of
It cut off there, and started again - it seemed he'd changed his mind about what to say.
She may have had feelings for me that night, but five months is a long time; even if she did, things change.
As for whether I am from your future, I doubt it. If you are to be believed, we are both seventeen. I have never even thought about going out with Quistis, and I won't change my mind before my birthday. Also, I've never heard of a SeeD Exam being postponed for months on end. The Headmaster wouldn't approve.
The last line read:
I think I may have upset your Quistis. If so, I apologise.
I leaned back in the chair, stunned and confused. Five months from his SeeD Exam in March meant that today's date for him was also August. I'd been right. But he was right, too. He couldn't possibly be part of my future or past… we seemed to be in two different situations. So what in Hyne's name was going on?
As for the last line, I guess I'd find out just how upset 'my' Quistis was this evening. Speaking of which…
I checked the clock, and sighed. Time for detention. I stood and stretched, making a mental note to ask about Squall's birthdate. There would be plenty of time to think while we were doing whatever dull chore we had been assigned to.
Yeah, right, Squall. Like there's ever plenty of time to think. Oh, you have no idea what you're in for… heh heh heh…What? The readers are here? OH!
Um, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Can I plead temporary insanity? (snorts, muffled laughter)
Well, that's another chapter. Rather shorter than most others, I admit, but I needed to make room for the next one… you'll see what I mean.
AUTHORS:
RustificatedID (nice name)
Kouryuu (yess… pity the Selphie…)
Darksquall (believable? Thank Hyne)
Solarwind Starfire (I'm telling you, finish the story!)
Vick330 (character personalities… that's a relief. But are they unique personalities?)
ANONYMITES:
White Crescent (Um, how much does Selphie remind you of Fujin? Because I really hope I haven't just switched people's personalities…)
Dark Phoenix
So… Everyone… Put an R over here and an R over there and an R in your ear… um, that might hurt. How big is a rutabaga?
Draic
This chapter was brought to you by "Stop" and "Alone", delicacies by kouryuu
Under-your-skin, psychological poetry found at fictionpress.net
http:?storyid=653554