Hey hey people!!! Thanks for reviewing!! I'm so glad you guys find my story humorous…lol…because I've never tried writing stories like that. And umm…*slightly embarrassed * I know I have tons of grammatical mistakes, in this story and my other story (hint hint lol) and don't worry!!! I'm planning to edit it AAAALL when I finish writing the story because I'm too lazy to go do it now lol….alright!! Onto the story!!!


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Serena shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket as another gust of wind blew towards her. Maybe this walking idea is not such a good thing anymore, she thought as she felt her toes freeze inside her shoes. Summer in Connecticut was becoming fall with a vengeance. And fall reminded Serena of…school. She cringed as the uncomfortable feeling seared through her stomach, almost feeling like a light heartburn. Stupid life for being so boring. Stupid school for helping her boring life along. Stupid friends from school for sticking her with Andrew. Stupid Andrew for sticking her with Darien. Stupid Darien for making her feel stupid. Stupid her for making her life boring.

Serena grinned as her thoughts formed one big circle of stupidness. She snuggled deeper into her jacket as she continued to walk randomly without marking off the streets she crossed. She estimated that she had been walking for about a little over an hour now and her feet were feeling the consequence. It was better than going back and having the un-puny Darien leap for her throat again. She knew that Andrew wouldn't worry where she was because she had called him up on his cell phone to tell him about her little expedition trip. He had wanted to tell her something about her so-called-friends but she had hung up the pay phone by then. Another blast of wind headed her way and Serena groaned as she met it head on.

Her feet complained that she should turn back now and Serena was in quick agreement. After she saved enough money to buy a car…she snorted. Let's rephrase that one, shall we? When she saved enough money to buy a secondhand bike or something, maybe she could go further but not now. She turned around and looked up at the street sign in the corner. Currently she was on Norton St. She looked forward and brightened when she saw Elm St cutting over Norton St. She ruffled through her memory, trying to remember what she remembered about Elm St. You could almost literally she the light bulb turn on when she remembered the cafe she had been at. Maybe if she followed it to the right, she would be able to go back to the cafe and then trace her way back. Wait! Why not get a cab, Serena? She groaned. That's right, she forgot her purse. All she had in her pocket was…a dirty dime and a gum wapper. Giving a short screech of frustration she walked towards Elm St. and hoped not to become 'refrigerated' before reaching the angry glares of Darien. This was great. Just great. Either way, she could die…Stupid life!

~~~~~~

Andrew looked out the window. "Do you think she's okay? I mean…she left over an hour ago and it's getting really cold out there."

Darien snorted from under his pile of papers. "Do you really think I'm the one to ask?"

"Sorry, Darien. Let's pretend I was thinking out loud," answered an irritated Andrew. "Now I'm thinking about calling her friends and asking if she tried to walk over to their place. Hmm, I think no because she doesn't know where her friends live. Now I'm thinking about –"

Darien groaned and sat up from the couch. "Fine, Andrew! If it worries you so much…arrgh! Gee Andrew, where do you think she went?" he asked with as much concern as he could muster up. After all, it was Serena. He could imagine her out lost and clueless about the way to get back. Darien grinned. That should keep her occupied for a month or so. Involuntarily, he glanced out the window for a moment. Andrew was right to be worried, he supposed. Fall was coming up and the winds had become stronger and more gusts came through with every passing day.

"Did she take her purse?" he asked nonchalantly, not wanting to get as worked up as Andrew. He wasn't the one Serena chose to draw on…she had picked Darien. And he was not going to feel sorry for that little piece of no good, permanent marker user.

"I don't know. Does she have a purse?"

"Doesn't every girl?"

"This is going nowhere."

"I agree, Andrew. So why don't I go back to reading and you go back to what ever you're doing and wait for her to come back?" Darien finished his reasonable statement and lay back down. He had no time to search for her. His paper was due less than a week away, after all!

"Hey, Darien! I have an idea! Why don't you take your car for a spin and see if she's around while I call her friends?"

Darien let the article in his hands flew down on his face. He took a deep breath and slowly blew it up at the paper, managing to make it fly off to the side. He took in another breath. It was better than answering that pointless question.

"Darien? What do you think?"

Maybe, if he pretended that he was asleep, he wouldn't have to go out there…

"There's no use pretending to be asleep Darien. Damn it, I can see you from the kitchen!"

Darien sat up again, this time more frustrated than annoyed. "Why can't you go? I'll lend you the keys! I'll call her friends."

Andrew looked down at him as he would a child who stole from the candy store. "Darien Shields, I can't believe that you're being so insensitive that you won't even spare a few minutes to look around for a cold, and possibly even hungry, little girl! How mean can you get? Anyway, if you remember, it's my turn to cook tonight and the lasagna is in the oven. I can't leave at the curren moment."

"I'll look after the lasagna –"

"No. You'll probably burn it seeing that you hate lasagna."

Andrew stood stoically, his arms on his hips, one holds a spatula while the other was covered with an oven mitt. Darien pushed himself off the couch and muttered to himself all the while putting on his shoes and coat. Andrew went back to the stove, whistling a merry little tune. A tune that just annoyed the hell out of Darien. Before exiting, he said back to Andrew, "I really don't see what Rita gets in you…"

He managed to avoid the flying oven mitt in time.

~~~~~~

Serena was definitely lost. She had followed down the road of Elm St. for a little less than a whole hour and still, no little mark of places she had seen before. There was no quaint little java place anywhere! It was almost pitch black and she 'guesstimated' it to be around eight thirty in the evening. People were starting to clear the streets and traffic grew thinner with every minute. Serena panicked. It was time to switch to plan B…approach random strangers and ask to borrow their expensive cell phones because they seem like the type to help out random strangers, possibly thieves, on the street. Serena rolled her eyes inwardly. Way to go Serena. Now you just made that sound like a really lame idea.

She saw a small lit up store at the end of the street and rushed towards it. It was probably the only store on the street seeing that the whole area was a residential place. Her hope rose as the sign in front said "Pharmacy". Pharmacies were for sick people and the pharmacists were nice people who helped the sick people. They won't turn her away…she hoped…

~~~~~~

Darien glared back at the people who stopped to stare at him. Haven't they seen fake nose hair before? He scowled and turned on the ignition. The radio blasted out with music as the heaters warmed up. After waiting a few minutes to let the engine warm up, he scooted his car out the parking lot and onto the street. Darien supposed that it was a good time as any to take a refreshing break from his research…that was due in half a week. He wanted to hit himself on the dashboard until he was, at least, in a coma. Maybe he could get an extension then…it was a hopeful but impossibly illogical thought at the moment. He was driving at the moment and in no condition he knock himself out. Maybe he should wait until he got home. She was only here for less than three days –three days – and he was already 'affected'. Where the hell could this whirlwind be…?

~~~~~~

Serena walked in to feel the welcoming warmth envelop her. It stung some parts of her body because of the radical change in temperature. She rubbed her hands together furiously and looked around the shop. It was quaint little Asian store, neat and tidy. There were decorations with foreign languages all around the room and from what Serena could see, this pharmacy was more like Asian herbal medication. All the bottles had oriental markings on them, as well as English. Serena walked up and down the aisles, more to just warm herself up than to look at what was on the shelves. Wow, she thought, lots and lots of soy sauce here. Serena picked one to buy, just in case she had an urge to eat Chinese food one day. She supposed that it was a convenience store as well. Then a big, black, shiny object caught her eye. She almost praised the gods for the…telephone. It beckoned to her…to come closer…and closer. Serena hurried over to the counter where the phone was behind it.

"Excuse me, ma'am. May I please use your telephone?"

The lady who was working there was oriental herself and she tried to make sense of Serena's words. "Phone? You? Want phone?"

Serena nodded her head quickly. She motioned to the phone and then pointed at herself. "Yes. I. Want. Phone.Please."

Then to her dismay, the lady shook her head serenely. "No, miss. Phone not for sale. No. Sorry. Want soy sauce?" She pointed to the bottle in Serena's hand.

Serena held back the urge to roll her eyes. She tried again, "Can I use it?" And before the lady could open her mouth again, she hurried on, waving the bottle towards the phone, " No. Not buy. Just use. Please?"

Now she received a reproaching look. "No. You buy soy sauce and then use. Have to buy. Sorry. Want to buy soy sauce?"

Serena slammed the bottle onto the counter and grinned widely, more to keep her frustration. "Please. I'll buy the soy sauce."

The lady happily snatched the bottle from her hands and rang up the price. " Two dollars fifteen cents miss." She pulled out a plastic bag from a hook and shook it open. Serena then remembered.

"Umm..sorry, but I have no money. Can I use phone to get money?"

The lady shoved the soy sauce back into Serena's hands. "If no have money, put back on shelf. No sell phone for money. My phone!" She ended in an almost exasperated glare.

Serena widened her eyes in amazement. This is crazy! The lady was getting annoyed with her? Geesh, it wasn't her fault that the lady couldn't understand English. Serena opened her mouth to try one more time. "No, no, no! Can I –"

The door slammed open and a whiny voice yelled, "EVERYONE, PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND DON'T MOVE."
Serena slowly raised her arms, bottle included, and turned to face their attacker…a dorky college student…with a gun. Serena giggled nervously. Well…that doesn't really make him dorky anymore, does it? He was almost a foot taller than her and a little heavy around the middle. Serena could imagine him wearing huge, geeky glasses and a pocket protector. He started to wave his gun to the farthest corner of the store. "GET OVER THERE! ALL OF YOU! AND DON'T TRY ANYTHING CUTE! COME ON! MOVE IT!"

The lady muttered some thing that sounded like a curse and scurried over to the corner, Serena in tow. He then jumped over the counter and jarred open the machine. The lady made a peep of resistance and he quickly waved the gun towards them, efficiently shutting them up. Serena groaned. Why did she have to walk on this street? Why couldn't she stay home? Why did she have to draw on Darien? Come on, Serena! You could have gotten him back some other childish time! She closed her eyes tightly and prayed. Oh please, she begged, please let me live. I take it all back! My life isn't boring! I love my friends, I really do! I don't want to –"

His screechy voice cut through her thoughts. "Shit! There isn't crap in here!" He jumped over the counter again and strode up to them, his gun directly aimed at …Serena. She gulped and tried to push back farther into the small crowd of people but they wouldn't budge. She could swear she even felt some hands pushing against her. Great. Now she was the sacrifice! Yes, come kill the random blonde girl so the rest of us can live…just great!

"EVERYONE EMPTY THE CASH! NOW!" He finally pointed the gun away from her and she let out a breath of shot-lived relief. He walked over to the furthest right and pointed at an old, Asian man. "Come on, old man! Open up you pockets, damn it!" Apparently, the old man managed to understand what the fuss was about. He started to remove his watch, then his wallet, and his ring. Now the robber moved onto the next person and repeated his commands. Serena winced at the sound of his voice. It screeched like a cat's claws on a chalkboard. It was horrible! She almost smacked herself. You're here, stuck in a store where you can't use a damn telephone, and you think the robber's voice is horrible? How ditzy can you get? He was coming closer and closer to where she was. She was broke! Then she immediately touched her earrings. The one her mom gave to her when she graduated high school. They were twenty-two-karat gold earrings with six-karat diamonds dangling down. She supposed her mom was so shocked that her daughter graduated that she went out and spent a million just for the kicks. She didn't want to lose these! Then the soy bottle caught her eye.

Now it was her turn. She could swear he had checked her out and she held in a groan of disgust. "Give me your earrings and everything else! Move! Come on!" he yelled in her face, and steered his weapon to her neck. Serena didn't know if her plan was going to work. She tucked the soy bottle under one arm and slowly raised them to her left earring. She carefully took it out and placed it in his open hands. His mouth spread into an appreciative smile. "This is what I'm looking for!"

Then, he looked irritated yet worried at the same time. "Hurry up, bitch! I don't have all day!" He kept shifting his glance to the front of the shop and then back at them.

Serena, now shaky, went to take off her other earring. As she was removing the back piece, the front fell down to the floor. Without thinking, the robber muttered a curse word and bent down to pick it up. Without losing time, Serena pulled out the bottle, took it in both hands and slammed it onto his head…only to have it bounce back up! She wanted to scream in agony. Why wasn't it glass?? Fortunately, it caught him of balance, and sent him tumbling to the ground with a yell. His gun slid out his hand and almost all the way down the aisle while the money and the rest flew in all directions. Immediately, Serena jumped on him and started to bang his head with the plastic/glass bottle. She then yelled to the people behind, "911, damn it!"

Fortunately, this was something the lady understood and she ran to the phone. Serena continued to smack away on the screeching man while the still frightened people hurriedly picked up their possessions. Serena felt nervous again. Although she was the one with the weapon , aka soy sauce, he still was stronger and taller than her. She was starting to feel tired as he didn't quit struggling under her. Then he begged her, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Let me go! I'll stop! Ow! Stop!"

Serena, if in any other situation, would have grinned at the puny man and his quick surrender. She gathered that this was the first time he tried something stupid like this. It was almost comical to see him give into a girl half his size. Meanwhile, the other customers snatched off random objects from the shelves and ran off with them. Serena could hear the lady talking rapidly in her broken English to the operator to the other end. Maybe it was her imagination, but she swore she heard the police sirens. She sat on him and held onto his hands until the police came charging through the doors. Wow…that was pretty quick.

~~~~~~

Darien came to a smooth stop as the few cars in front of him came to a sudden stop. What the hell? He looked out the window to see what was happening? An accident? Did a dog get hit? He managed to barely see two police cars blocking the flow. Then he saw a store's door fling open to reveal three police officers dragging a tall man, handcuffed, between them. They pushed the man into one of the cars and shut the car door. Then the officer who came in that car got in and drove off, leaving the path empty for the cars to go through. The other two officers went back to the scene of the crime. Darien looked on with slight interest as he approached closer and closer to the store. He saw a small Asian lady and a blonde girl standing in front of the officers so he couldn't see them. Weird, he thought. The blonde had long hair that looked exactly like Serena's. He craned his neck out the window to get a better view.

~~~~~~

"Yes officer. Let's see. I was in the front asking to borrow the phone –"

"No, no, no. Miss want to buy phone but I say no. Phone no for sale," interrupted the lady. The officers looked back at Serena expectantly. She said, exasperated, "I didn't want to buy the phone. I just wanted to make a call. You see, I don't live here and I just wanted to use it!"

The lady shook her head again but kept quiet, as if she was doing Serena a favor in return for attacking the robber. Serena continued, slightly ticked off, "And then I put the bottle of soy sauce on the counter and asked –"

Screeeeeeeeeeeech!!

The scratchy sound erupted into the air and the slight smell of rubber drafted towards her nose. Serena winced and looked to see what had happened. There was a beautiful black jaguar that had, she assumed, the brakes put on a little to hard. The action was received with honks from angry drivers behind the car. It finally drove itself into an empty spot next to the curb. Serena was about to shrug it off when the driver's door flew open to show…Darien?

~~~~~~

Darien stomped out the car and ran up to Serena. He basically ignored the police officers and yelled, "Serena? What the hell are you doing here? With police officers?"

Darien ignored the stares the officers and the Asian lady were aiming at him but focused his attention on Serena. Serena, almost forgetting the situation she was in, managed to just choke on her laughter. His face was still the way she had left it early that evening. After all, it was permanent marker.

She finally said, "I just wanted to use the damn phone, Darien!"