Disclaimer: Grr… running out of ideas… I guess I'll just have to steal the characters of some game and screw with them. I can pretend they're mine. What? I can't? But I've already written a fair portion of the story! Oh well. Thanks a lot, Squaresoft.

Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter Ten: Ashes

Silence ruled the blue glow of the MD level as I stared at Quistis and she stared at me, searching for something to say, some way to deny what I'd just heard her say. Quistis broke eye contact and turned away.

"Edea… Matron's dead?" I asked, shocked. Quistis could only sob in reply. I awkwardly placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to offer some comfort, but I felt like I was the one who needed comforting.

"Quisty," I said softly, "It's okay… It all happened a long time ago."

"But we've only just remembered it!" she cried.

She abruptly turned and threw her arms about me, sobbing into my shoulder.

"Oh, Squall… how can we have forgotten her? She was always so kind to us… like a mother… and then she died… she didn't deserve to… she spent so much of her life looking after us… and then we just forget about her!"

The price of the GF… whispered the voice.

"Quisty… it wasn't your fault."

She didn't seem to hear me. She pulled away from me and stared off into the distance.

"We shouldn't have left her… We could have done something."

I threw up my hands in exasperation.

"Quistis, we were five. What could we have done?"

She didn't answer, but moved to a nearby crate, sat down with her head in her hands and began murmuring and moaning softly to herself.

"We came back from the beach…" Seifer muttered, "and she was just lying there on the ground." He motioned with a hand and we stared numbly at the spot on the floor.

"She was lying face down," I heard myself say. "We thought maybe it wasn't her."

I could almost see it: A woman in black facedown on the stones and six small figures standing around her.

"But we recognised her clothes," I continued.

"Maybe she's sleeping," Sefie said, but all six of us had wide-eyed faces. Everyone was scared.

"We… we have to help her!" Quisty said. "Seifer! Zell! Help me turn her over!"

"Don't tell me what to do…" Seifer began, but he didn't sound like he meant it. He bent down, anxiously rubbing his arm.

Zell didn't move.

"Zell! Come on! Please!" Quisty pleaded.

He moved like he was asleep. I'd seen that once - he'd been walking around the house with his eyes half-open. He ended up in the cupboard. But it wasn't funny this time. He looked scary. But he moved and crouched next to Seifer. They didn't even look at each other. And for the first time ever, the three of them did something together without arguing.

Her body turned over slowly. It was definitely Matron.

Sefie gasped. "What's wrong wif her, Quisty?"

Quisty took Matron's pale hand, and shivered. "She's so cold…"

She fumbled with her wrist for a while…and then bent down and put her ear to Matron's chest. She closed her eyes, like she was going to sleep.

How could she go to sleep? She was supposed to be helping Matron! If Sis was here, she'd know what to do. Sis was so clever. But Quisty wasn't helping… was she?

I was about to tell her off, when she moved funny. She did a little jump backwards, and ended up falling on her butt. I nearly laughed, but then she said, "I can't hear her heart! She's… oh no…"

"What? Quisty? She's what!?"

"She's… dead!"

And she hunched up in a little ball and began crying. Irvy bent down and he and Seifer tried to wake Matron up, but Seifer just stopped after a while and dropped his hand onto hers. Selphie just stood there, rocking back and forth, tears falling off her nose. Zell had his back to us, facing the sea. I could hear him sobbing.

No… she couldn't be… no…

"NO!" I yelled.

I didn't want her to be dead! Sis… Sis could help. I had to find her!

I ran…

"Squall!"

I ran…

The gloom of the MD level suddenly seemed too dark, with too many shadows.

I turned away from the others. I didn't want them to see the tears in my eyes. I rubbed them hard, only succeeding in making my eyes red.

"How did she die?" someone whispered. I turned around again.

Selphie was for once meeting my eyes without that hateful fire burning within them; her flames had been quenched by the tears running down her cheeks.

"I don't remember," I answered softly. "There wasn't any blood or anything…"

We just stood there for a while, lost in our own thoughts and one by one, we seemed to lose the strength to stand; even as I collapsed on a nearby crate, Selphie sank down to the floor and Seifer leaned back on the wall.

I idly rubbed my forehead, as if trying to will more memories forth, but nothing came. After a moment, I realised I'd been tracing my scar - the one that wasn't there…

"So," Seifer said, breaking the silence, "…So this Irvine guy grew up with us?"

"I guess so," I replied.

"Maybe we should go talk to him, then."

"You might want to wait a few hours, Seifer," I said, pulling back my sleeve and tapping my watch. "He might be awake then."

Seifer glanced at his own watch.

"Oh no!" he moaned. "We're way past curfew! I can't be caught again! Instructor Segal would kill me!"

He fled for the elevator.

"Seifer…" Selphie began, standing up. "Seifer? HEY, SEIFER!"

He didn't seem to hear her. The elevator doors shut and with that familiar 'ding', the elevator rose out of sight.

"Bastard," Selphie muttered.

"He likes you," I said, joking, but a little too tired to give it much energy. Selphie's eyes widened and her mouth opened… I turned to Quistis, still sitting on the crate, with her head down.

"Hey, Quisty. It's past curfew! Are you coming?"

She didn't answer.

"Quistis?"

I knelt in front of her and gazed up into her face.

"Quistis…"

"What's wrong?" Selphie asked, a little huffily.

"She's… asleep."

As if to punctuate, Quistis gave out a little snore.

"Wake her up, then!"

"Selphie, can you help me carry her to her room?"

She folded her arms and looked at me skeptically. "You've got to be kidding!"

I tried to make a puppy-dog face. "Please?"

She laughed. "You're pathetic. You look like a rabid dog."

Rabid dog, puppy dog…close enough.

"So will you?"

She looked like she was about to snap at me, but her expression changed abruptly and she bit back whatever remark she was going to make. Instead, she rolled her eyes and casually rubbed her face. "Oh, fine. Just make sure she doesn't kick me."

She took Quistis' feet and I held her under her arms. She was surprisingly… heavy. I looked at Selphie suspiciously. Was she actually carrying any of the weight or just keeping Quistis' feet off the ground? She caught my gaze, and smiled evilly.

We got to the elevator eventually, Selphie all but dropping Quistis once we were in. She pressed the 1F button. The 'ding' seemed unnaturally loud. I looked anxiously at Quistis, but she was still fast asleep, propped up against the side of the elevator.

How can she sleep this heavily? I wondered. On the other hand, she stayed up for me when I had that amnesia, and then while I was Infirmary… How much sleep has she been getting lately?

"Hey…Squall… what happened to the other guy… um, Zell?"

I turned from Quistis to Selphie, slouched against the elevator wall.

"Huh? Oh, the other guy from the orphanage? I'm not sure." I scratched my head. "Come to think of it, it does seem a little weird that the four of us end up here - five, including Irvine, and he doesn't."

"How did we get here, anyway?" she asked. "It's not like many boats come to Centra. I'm guessing that's why the orphanage was there in the first place - it was so far away from the war. We were supposed to be safe there."

I smiled sadly, following her train of thought. "But not safe enough, obviously…" I sighed. "Well, I suppose someone else had to know that we were there…"

"I don't remember any other adults… do you?"

I half-closed my eyes. "No… no, I don't think so."

"Hmm."

I looked over at her. She had that slightly irritated look that usually meant she'd met a problem she couldn't work out.

"What is it?" I asked her.

Once again, I watched in surprise as she bit back her first reply and instead gave me a straight answer.

"How did we survive?" she said, looking at me as though she was trying to pull a solution from my body. "We were in such a remote location, the only adult around had died… How did we feed ourselves? How did we get off the island?"

"Didn't Edea fish for a fair bit of it? She must have taught one of-"

"Why didn't whatever killed her kill us as well?" She interrupted, obviously not interested in my theories. But, as always, she had a good point. We sat in silent thought for a few minutes, but I couldn't come up with anything. But it suddenly occurred to me…

"Hey… does it seem like this elevator's taking a long time or…"

She stared at me. I stared at her.

We both stared at the glass doors and the unmoving walls outside.

"Oh no."

"Of all the places and…" I began.

"…people to get stuck with…" Selphie continued.

We glared at eachother.

"You know, I think you're starting to get on my nerves again." Selphie informed me.

"Oh, so there was a time when I wasn't getting on your nerves?" I countered.

"Oh, shut up," she grumbled.

I pressed the emergency button and waited.

There was a distinct lack of power return.

I pressed it again and for good measure, gave it a heavy thumping.

"Why are you guys so obsessive with buttons?" Sephie moaned. "If you press it once, you have to press it a thousand times."

I ignored her and pressed the alarm button.

"Of course you do realise that everyone's asleep, so there's no one to hear the alarm?"

"I don't hear you making any efforts to help," I shot back.

"Oh, you want my help?" Selphie asked, grinning.

"Faced with the risk of having to wait forever while you laugh at my futile attempts, yes, I do want your help," replied, a little resentfully.

"Okies," Selphie said, unusually cheerily. "Give me a boost."

I blinked. A boost? "You mean… the ceiling?"

She rolled her eyes. "For a high-ranking cadet, you can be so thick. Of course, the ceiling."

She spun me around so I was facing away, grabbed my shoulders and the next thing I knew, her boots were digging into my collarbone. I instinctively grabbed them to hold her steady.

"Don't do that," she told me instantly, "it puts me off."

"Fine," I muttered. "I'll just stand here like an ornamental shelf until you're done."

"And don't talk, either. I'm trying to concentrate."

I wondered if I should move, just to piss her off.

"Okay, I've got the hatch open." Her weight suddenly lifted from my shoulders. "See ya!"

I looked up in time to see her legs disappear through the hole. "What!? Hey, what about me?"

She peered over through the hole. "Don't be such a wimp. Jump, boy, jump!"

"Yeah, but what about Quistis?" I called angrily.

"Not my problem. Leave her there." She looked around, scanning the walls. "She's asleep anyway - she won't notice. And when she wakes up… she can look after herself, you know."

I looked up at the hole above me, and then down at Quistis.

"I'll wait for her to wake up," I called.

"Aww, how sweet." She had vanished from sight, but I'd recognise the heavy sarcasm a mile away; Selphie was having fun.

"Just try to help a little - maybe get someone to fix the elevator?"

"No guarantees at this hour," her voice echoed down the shaft.

I swore. "Go to hell, Selphie - you'd like it there. Diablos would be more considerate!"

I heard her laughter, and then she was gone.

I slumped down opposite Quistis, still asleep despite all the yelling. She'd even missed the chance to tell me off for swearing.

"Well, isn't this going to be exciting," I muttered.

After half an hour or so with nothing to do, I fell asleep.

"Uh…?"

The raven-haired girl blinked.

"Yes, Squall?"

I looked around dazedly. The cracked, broken and slightly snowed in basketball court seemed to swim before my eyes before becoming solid again. I groaned.

"You've got to be kidding." I muttered. So much for getting some actual sleep…

"Squall!" Rinoa cried.

I looked at her, surprised at her look of hurt and outrage. "What? No, no, I wasn't talking to you. I was… talking to myself."

She peered at me suspiciously and finally said briskly, "At least you've started thinking aloud, then. Saves all the guessing we have to do. Quistis will be disappointed, though – she'll have to find a new game." She paused, tapped her foot and said, "So what's your answer, Squall?"

Bringing Quistis back into my train of thought definitely hadn't helped my concentration. I stared at her blankly. "Did you ask a question?"

Rinoa closed her eyes and bowed her head. When she spoke, her voice was all too calm, but a slight tremor in her voice betrayed the emotion she must be feeling. "Squall, you weren't listening at all, were you? As far as you're concerned, I'm just another person to endure and ignore, aren't I? Well, that's fine then, because I'd just about given up anyway. I'll leave you alone with yourself. That's what you want, isn't it?"

She looked up and I could have drowned in the deep pools of her eyes – pools that were threatening to overflow. I felt so helpless. What did she want? What was I supposed to do? The Garden manual definitely didn't address situations like these. And while I was staring with my mouth half-open, she was walking away from me, through the ruins of the Trabian Garden.

Oh, Hyne, what did I do now? What did I say? What did she say? Oh, great. Just perfect.

I sat down at the edge of the court after viciously kicking the basketball as far from me as possible, and pressed my hand against my forehead.

How am I supposed to deal with this?

Quistis and Zell were waiting for me as I trudged towards the entrance, but the other three were nowhere in sight.

"Where are the others?" I asked wearily.

"Selphie and Irvine wanted to get back to Garden as soon as possible," Quistis began.

Zell snorted. "Yeah, right. I think Irvine's just makin' the most of the situation, if you know what I mean."

Quistis ignored him. "So they were just waiting for the rest of us. I was going to go with them, but then…" She looked at me sideways and continued, "Then Rinoa came running up to us, asking to go as soon as possible. She left with Irvine and Selphie ten minutes ago."

I sighed. It would have been safer to go together…

"We could catch up to them if we pushed ourselves," Quistis offered.

I shook my head. "No. They can take care of themselves." Hopefully…

I led the way to the hole in the wall the students were using as an entrance and strode off. I intended to be back in my bed by nightfall.

Zell and Quistis hung back for a while, talking, but eventually Zell jogged to catch up to me.

"You know, Rinoa looked pretty upset…" he said, glancing at me.

"…" I commented. Too tired to think. Especially about anything concerning Rinoa.

"Well, it's just… she's a nice girl, don't you think? Never though I'd be saying this to you, but man she is hot!" He grinned playfully.

"…"

The smile slipped and he coughed nervously. "Yeah, well, just remember, Squall: You've got yourself quite a catch - It'd be a shame to let her go."

"She's not a fish," I informed him stonily.

To my surprise, the grin came back. "Yeah, well… that's for you to decide, I guess."

With that, he jogged ahead, leaving me to puzzle out his meaning.

"So where are we going, Commander?" Xu asked, apparently oblivious to my mood.

"We're looking for a stone orphanage near a lighthouse," I told her. I'm not your bloody commander, woman! I've been a SeeD for not even half a year yet. You're at least six years my senior, a SeeD for at least that length of time… hell, you even taught me classes! Why in Hyne's name are you the one calling me 'Commander'?

"I think there's a lighthouse on the west coast of Centra," Xu mused.

"So we go there," I said, now holding back a yawn along with my irritation. "We may find a clue as to Ellone's whereabouts… I'll be in my dorm if you need me."

I resumed my trudging as I moved through the halls, broken only by the empty stupor of the elevator. It actually took me a few minutes of standing and staring at my door before I could work up the energy to open it. I didn't bother changing but did remember to lock the door before sinking gratefully into bed.

If only it could stay like this forever…

I was standing in the rain, staring off into the distance. "Sis… Where are you?"

"Squall."

It was Sis! I couldn't believe it! Sis was back!

Hang on…Why was this familiar?

"I need to talk to you."

"You… you tried to kill me!"

"There is no time for idle chatter."

"Idle chatter? Is that what you call it? Look, I'm not going to listen to you. This is a dream, anyway, so I'll just wake up…"

"No, you won't. Trust me."

I laughed nervously, unsettled both by Sis' confidence and my own high-pitched voice - the voice of a child.

"Trust you? After the dagger!?"

"If you wish to wake up, you need to listen."

Now I was just confused. Not to mention speechless.

"Pay attention, Squall. You must remember…"

This was ridiculous. I was standing in the crumbling ruins of my childhood home, peering through the rain at my 'sister', who had left me in this place twelve years ago. Then again, I seemed to be a five-year-old once more. Ellone herself was exactly as I remembered her, yet there was something odd in the way she spoke and carried herself. This was definitely a dream - the fact that neither of us was getting wet confirmed that. But for the second time, this dream was not running its usual course.

On the other hand, perhaps this was not my dream.

"You must remember," Sis repeated, in that voice that seemed to pass through her instead of projecting from her own mouth.

"Remember what?" I asked.

"Surely you have noticed… It has all changed now, Squall."

"…What has?"

"Everything. Can't you feel the fracture, the fragmentation, the sense of everything unravelling?"

I shrugged and kept my face blank, hoping to hear more.

"But you must. It is part of your being. You must grasp it; You must know it. If you don't… You have no comprehension of how much hangs over your head, boy. You must feel the tear inside your very existence..." She paused, and tilted her head slightly.

"I must go. I will leave you with this…"

She held out a hand, and I shrieked as my arm was engulfed in flame. As I batted helplessly at the fire, Sis' voice echoed in my ears.

"We will meet again."

I opened my eyes to a small, dark room. My arm was tingling. I realised I had been sleeping on it, and massaged the life back into it while my sleep-clogged eyes slowly adjusted. I was still in the elevator, which was still not moving.

"Squall?"

I turned my head. Quistis was sitting against the wall opposite me, her eyes open and looking into my own.

"Hi, Quistis," I replied.

She made a small smile. "You look so cute when you're asleep."

"What does that make me now I'm awake?" I asked jokingly.

She reached out towards me and touched my lips with her fingers.

"Squall," she said softly, "I'm sorry. I know you weren't cheating on me and I'm sorry for doubting you. Can you forgive me?"

I was shocked. In a sleepy kind of way. Quistis would never apologise this quickly about something like this. What had changed during the time I'd been asleep?

"Quistis… of course I forgive you. But… what brought this on?"

She smiled a tired but happy smile and moved to rest her head in my lap.

"I know who Rinoa is," she said, and closed her eyes once more.

Yay! Rinoa's coming back! Uh, maybe. I'll have to make up another chapter to find out. J

AUTHORS:

Vick330: (um, okay)

I hope everyone's keeping up. Oh, and I should probably mention to the readers from way back that the whole weird freaky dream I had around this point with Squall and Ultimecia is absolutely WRONG. It never happened, mainly because it was wreaking havoc with the story and I couldn't make it work, so I had to delete it and come up with some new ideas. Plus I'm sure I automatically made things clearer just by deleting those scenes. Okay with everyone?

I seem to recall people telling me how confusing that 'weird trippy dream thing' was. See, everyone? The 3R's work! Read, Review, and when you Re-read, the whole thing is so much easier to understand…

Draic

This chapter can only be brought to you by the one and only "Me, Myself and… Huh? - Vick 330!

Come to think of it, this story is probably the closest to my own… except it's a humour!

(Humour? Let's go!)

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