Yes, we know. It's been a long time. We're sorry. For pity's sake, HAVE MERCY! If you're one of our luurvely readers from before, I suggest you go back and read the chapters prior to this one, as we've made some changes. :)
Disclaimer: We do not own ze wonderful, ze magnificent Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. They are owned by JK Rowling and JRR Tolkien respectively.
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Dumbledore paced around his office. The diary that was now in Harry's possession was troubling him greatly. He sat down at his desk, and stared down at his hands, thinking hard...
Seventeen years later, he decided to do something about it. He went to Google.com and typed in "Diary". A few hours later, he had read through pages and pages of information about the Diary, and had found some very interesting sources, including Kreacher's Livejournal. Dumbledore skipped through the dull bits of it, till he finally found an interesting entry.
Kreacher is missing his Own, his Love, his Precious. The Precious was belonging to my mistress, but Kreacher is taking the Diary from her shelf, or else her nasty little son will find it first. Then, Kreacher is writing every day to Tom Riddle. He is Kreacher's best buddy. He is always thoughtful, and so kind to Kreacher. Tom is always writing to Kreacher even when Kreacher is not writing to him, but then Tom is stopping. Now, writing is only appearing if ink is being thrown over the Precious.
"Yes!" cried Dumbledore, punching his fist into the air. "We get to do some art work!"
But, one day, Kreacher is losing the Diary. Stupid, idiotic Kreacher! Kreacher's Precious is lost forever! Kreacher is wanting his Tommy back. Stupid Kreacher! Kreacher is a disgrace to the family! What would mistress think if she is knowing that Kreacher is losing the Diary? Oh, the shame!
Anyway, Kreacher is saying goodnight now. If you is wanting to talk to Kreacher, you is able to contact me on AIM. Goodnight, Precious the Second.
P.S. Kreacher is not liking Harry Potter.
"Ah, a nice little piece of information for Harry!" said Dumbledore, before closing the Livejournal.
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Harry had just started reading 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' when suddenly all the lights went out, leaving him in total darkness.
"Huh? What happened to the lights?" he cried.
He had just made a movement towards the light switch, when Dumbledore suddenly grabbed him on the shoulder and started singing 'Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts' again.
"Dumbledore!" groaned Harry. "Do you have to sing that all the time?"
"Oh, hello, Harry!" said Dumbledore, as if he hadn't noticed him before. He could vaguely remember that he had something important to say to Harry. "Oh, yeah!" he cried, as he suddenly remembered.
He grabbed Harry again, and in a hushed, frantic whisper, said, "Is it secret? Is it safe?"
Harry was puzzled for a second.
"Dumbledore, have you been sniffing Neville's socks again?" he questioned sternly.
"No!" said Dumbledore, offended.
"Well, what are you talking about then?"
"Guess."
"Wouldn't it be easier if you just told me?" said Harry, rather exasperated by Dumbledore's antics.
"Well, yes, but that would spoil the great mystery of it all..." Dumbledore's voice suddenly turned wistful and dreamy. "My dear Harry, do you not enjoy the the thrill of guesswork, the disappointment of an incorrect guess, the endless hours of fun..."
He went on about the joys of guessing games for some time that Harry began to feel afraid; very afraid.
"All right, fine, Dumbledore!" he interjected. "Um... a wand?"
"No."
"A Sneakoscope?"
"No."
"A biscuit?"
"No."
Several hours later...
"Harry, maybe it would be easier if I just told you..." Dumbledore suggested. He had begun to grow very tired of this.
"No!" exclaimed Harry, looking scandalised. "It just got exciting, Dumbledore!"
Dumbledore sighed and said, "Well, at least let me give you a clue, then."
"Okay," Harry agreed.
"Right..." said Dumbledore slowly, thinking hard. "Yes! I've thought of one!" he said, suddenly. "It's the diary."
"Dumbledore! You just told me!" Harry said, angrily.
"Oh... did I? I'm so sorry, Harry. Well, you can't blame little old me. My brain's not as alert as it was before..."
"And which diary are you talking about?" Harry asked.
"Which diary am I talking about?" Dumbledore repeated faintly. "The one I gave you for your birthday, of course!"
"Ohh ... that diary," said Harry, fetching it from the kitchen. "What about it?"
Dumbledore snatched the diary from Harry, grabbed an ink bottle, and flung the contents of it over the diary.
"My precioussss!" howled Harry. "I mean... my presentttt! What are you doing, Dumbledore? Have you lost it?"
"Take it, Harry," Dumbledore said in his deep voice, as if he hadn't heard Harry's last comment. "Be careful, though - it is quite wet."
Harry took the diary, and examined it. The ink was slowly dissolving away.
"Tell me, Harry, what do you see?" asked Dumbledore quietly.
"Wait a second!" Harry squealed, delighted. "The ink has gone! And strange words are appearing! I can't read it - it's some form of Blubberish!"
"The language is that of the Toilet, which is far too ribald for me to utter here. In the common tongue it says:
One Diary to bring Riddle back to power,
One Diary to stop his milk from getting sour,
In Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, where the water lays on the floor in great huge messy puddles and when you step on them your shoes will get all wet and if they aren't made of leather you'll get wet socks."
"A poetic masterpiece..." Harry sighed, dabbing his eyes with a handkerchief. "Well, what does it mean, Dumbledore?"
"It means that this Diary has the power to bring Lord Voldemort back to power!" Dumbledore sad dramatically.
"But ... Voldemort was destroyed. His curse rebounded off my head, remember?"
"No, Harry," said Dumbledore slowly, softly and very dramatically. "The Diary survived and Voldemort's life was bound to the Diary."
Harry looked shocked and started slapping himself to make sure that this was really going on. Then he had a really clever idea. "All righty-o then! We hide the diary, never speak of it again, so that in general, no one knows it's here! Sound good?"
"But there is one who knows the Diary is in your possession."
"Who?"
"I looked everywhere for the creature Kreacher, but the enemy found him first... they offered to buy him lunch if he told them where the Diary was. And, of course, he couldn't resist the offer... who could?" Dumbledore asked sadly.
"But... the enemy... they'll be on their way here soon! Take the Diary, Dumbledore!" Harry cried, holding it out to him. "You must take it!"
"Sorry, nothing doing," Dumbleore said leisurely. "It's your problem now."
Suddenly, from a dark corner of the room, came an odd, clicking sound. Dumbledore gestured to Harry to keep quiet, and then looked furtively from left to right, before proceeding on tiptoes towards the noise. The Mission Impossible theme played in the background...