Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot or purpose of this ficlet; the characters are not mine, nor is the main episode plot. This insightful fiction follows the events after Clark destroys the spaceship, seen through friends and family's eyes, and takes it through until he comes back home.
Chapter three: At a Loss for Words
What will I say? Here is the truth to Clark Kent's secrets revealed in The Torch, exclusive edition? Why does that sound so dirty? Why does it make me feel like I betrayed him?
Because you are betraying him, Chloe.
Ah yes, there it was. the voice that tormented me so, the one who made me see everything through an through, the one who made me change my mind often again and again, my personal judge and perpetrator. My mother.
I know that. But if he'd been more honest with me, if he'd told me straight from the off that he and Lana were together, maybe this wouldn't have happened. I never asked he go out with me, or that he'd feel for me something a lot deeper than friendship, or that it had to be Lana love. I only wanted him to tell me the truth.
Right, you keep telling yourself that. Face it girl, you have no real excuse for doing what you are doing to Clark.
Don't you think of the Kents? What would they say? After all they did for you?
Oh yes, of course, here it comes.
Bad Chloe. Wicked Chloe. Well I have got used to being a wicked girl; besides, this is journalism. I accepted it and so did Clark. He knew what he would be getting into, but he did it anyway. Well now he has to face the consequences.
God, it sounded so...harsh, so evil. When had she become like that? When she saw Clark and Lana kiss at his barn? When she found out her feelings for him? Perhaps when she knew they would never get any close than friends. Or maybe she had always been like this, deep down, and now thanks to Clark's dishonesty, it was all surfacing, and bringing out the worst part of herself, something she didn't know she had.
Stop this when where and who game, Chloe. You're getting into unimaginable things. You can't know what might come out if you dig in Clark's life.
Exactly why I am doing this. I am a journalist, even if it is just for a small school paper, but journalism has no boundaries, and I will not create barriers or stop points now. It's too late for that. Far too late.
Yes, it is far too late.
But Clark might not forgive you this, Chloe. Did you think about what it would be like if he never forgave you, should he find out before it is finished?
It doesn't really matter whether he finds out before or after it is published. I am not changing my mind.
And what then? You find out all the secrets you want, slap them on a page and publish it for all to see. Will you be happy when you do that?
Will it please you to watch him suffer for this low kick?
Could you do it? Destroy what little trust there is left between you two, give Luthor what he wants?
Yes, Luthor; he'd be pleased I found out everything about Shining Mystery. And then I would get a place in the Daily Planet.
But what if he wont? What if he cheats and plays you like everybody else and something happened to Clark?
Could you stand for it, knowing it was you who caused his pain? And what of Martha Kent? In her condition, it will be dangerous to expose her son to such harm. All this for a kiss?
Hey! Just stop it! Stop it right now!
You can't bear it, can you? Somewhere buried in that hard crust is the Chloe we all know and loved.
And the one who got lied to and rejected. She'll stay right where she is. As for Martha...I'm at a loss for words. But I don't have a choice anymore.
And when Luthor takes him? He will have him prodded and watched at all times, Clark will cease to be safe, and it will be all your fault.
STOP! You're making it sound like Clark is – a freak of nature or something. Luthor won't do that, because there is nothing for him to find.
Then you refuse to take the job, and save your friendship with Clark?
No. Nothing will make me change my mind.
And what of Pete? Did you wonder what he'll do when he finds out?
Yes, I know what Pete will do to me. And I am sorry for it. I am sobbing now, but I am so sorry. I can't think straight; I can't see the way out anymore. Am I lost?
You lost yourself when you had that meeting with Lionel Luthor and agreed to take on the job. Pete doesn't know it yet, but if he did, he'd put a stop to all this.
You should have listened to me, Chloe. Now you are lost, stuck between the you of yesterday and the you threatening to come out tomorrow. But today there is no Clark to save you, Chloe. This time, it's all you and yourself.
You don't have a Wall of Weird to go home to. Because if you don't fight it, if you don't fight yourself, it will take you. Once it does, you will not escape from it.
It is inevitable. This losing battle won't last for long. I won't win this time.
I'm sorry Clark.
I'm sorry for what I am about to do. Please find it in you one day to forgive me. Just give me another chance.
I sit at my desk now in The Torch studio at school. The bell rings, all the children rush out to go home, or shopping, or whatever else they will do. And I am alone. Pete is not standing there with a cup of coffee ready to be poured down my throat.
There is no Clark smiling at me from his tall height, indulging in some weird occurrence in Smallville's affairs, and not sharing 'the look' with Pete. The computer screen glares its white impatience at me, the cursor blinking in manevolent haste to get me to type something. And for the first time in my life as a journalist, I am ...at a loss of words.