Story: Who's Is It?
Author: J.E.A.R.K.Potter (Jackie)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does.
Chapter 8
Cookie & Songs
(A/N don't ask about the title. Think it's weird? Nah, it's not... :D
J)
Two weeks had passed by for Hermione, Harry, and baby James. James's
hair was slowly turning darker as he grew some. James had proven to his
mother and Harry that he was a very, very smart baby. He was already on
a normal sleeping pattern, not suckling off of Hermione's breast any
more, and when they sat him down on the floor to play while they did
homework he crawled around!
Hermione was resting. James was almost too good of a baby for her.
Harry had been doing some of his Potion's homework when he looked over
to check on James and found that James was munching on a cookie.
"Cookie?" James asked, cocking his head and looking at Harry.
Harry blinked. "Whoa, what?"
"Cookie!" James said again, dropping the cookie and clapping. His eyes
suddenly changed to red then to gray-blue.
"Malfoy blue," Harry said under his breath, then smiled at James.
"What are you doing saying your first words at two weeks? Hmm?" he asked
and went over to pick him up.
"Cookie?" James smiled. His eyes went back to a green.
"Mione, wake up," Harry said, gently shaking Hermione.
"What do you want?" she rolled onto her other side, away from Harry.
"James just said his first words," Harry said softly.
"What?" Hermione sat up immediately, looking at Harry and James.
James looked innocent. He didn't speak a word but a few
"goo-goo-ga-ga"'s, and even his eyes were back to red, the way that they
normally remained.
"Harry, I think you're the one who needs to rest, not me," Hermione
took James into her arms, and cooed at him.
"No, I think I'm going down to Hagrid's. That alright?" Harry asked,
and went over to get on his shoes and cloak.
"Sure, why not," Hermione said.
Harry smiled, then kissed her softly on the lips and James on the
forehead, and headed out to Hagrid's hut.
"Oy, 'Arry! Whatcha doin'? Aren'tche watchin' ove' lil' James?" Hagrid
asked, opening the door.
"You got any firewhiskey?" Harry asked, going in and sitting down on
one of the chairs.
"Of course me do, 'Arry. Why wouldn't me have any of that ole' stuff?"
Hagrid asked and shut the door. He went to one of the cabinets and got
some out. "How much do you want?"
"The whole bottle," Harry said.
"Oye...Ker," Hagrid tossed Harry the bottle, which he took and drunk
almost right away.
That went on for a long time till Harry was more than drunk that
Hagrid had to carry Harry back up to the castle.
"Oh sing with me Hagrid!! Oh what's a poor man to dooooooooooo, when
these eyes just keep a changin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All that I gotta
dooooooooooooo, is go and get a lot of booooooooseeeeeee!!!!!!!!" Harry
yelled/screamed.
Hagrid laughed. Shortly after, he saw Ron walking down the walk. "Oy,
Ron!" he yelled.
"Hey Hagrid! Hey... Harry?" Ron asked, going up to the two.
"He's drunk, Ron. Had to much firewhiskey if yer ask me. Yup, that he
did," Hagrid said.
Ron laughed. "Here, I'll take him from here for you," he said.
"Thank yer, Ron," Hagrid said, and gave Harry to Ron, who walked him
up to the Heads Common Room.
"Hermione!!" Ron yelled, banging on the door.
The door opened, and there stood Hermione. James was behind her,
crawling around close to her.
"Your boyfriend I return to you. Very drunk," Ron said, and sat Harry
down in front of Hermione.
((This is sang to the tune of Spongebob Squarepant's theme song!!))
"Hey, Mione! I gotta song for you!! Who's hand is the hand who gives
great jobs? HER-MI-O-NE! Who's the mom of the baby with changin' eyes?
HER-MI-O-NE! Who's cute and funny and gonna kill me? HER-MI-O-NE! Who's
the one with D cup tits? HER-MI-O-NE! HER-MI-O-NE! HER-MI-O-NE!
HER-MIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-NEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Harry said, and fell down on the floor, fast asleep.
"Go bye-bye?" James asked, and cocked his head.
Hermione didn't look amused at Harry's song, so she went and picked up
James. "Yes, Daddy go bye-bye. He go to sleepy land, where you should be
now mister," she smiled.
"Thank Merlin that he doesn't go into poetry!" Ron said. "Wait, did
James just talk?"
Hermione nodded. "He's done it all the time since Harry left.
Jabbering up a storm. Hey, I'm going to take James up to Dumbledore, and
see why all this is happening with him, okay?"
"Okay. I'll get Harry up and over to one of the beds," Ron said and
Hermione left with James in her arms.
"Harry, wake up," Ron said, shaking Harry's arm.
"Did you know that I could be the James's dad? Even though I never
fucked her?"
"Huh?"
"The spell that Hermione put on Fred and George that one me when you
and Ginny---"
"Don't go into details, mate. How could you almost be James's dad?"
"Hermione put a spell on Fred and George when they walked in on her and me when we were drunk. Must've hit us, too, after we got up and
dressed..." Harry shook his head. "Lemme sleep!" he pushed Ron out of
his way to the bed, and fell in it, going right back to sleep.
All Ron could do was stand there and blink.
---------------------------------------------------------------
(A/N Next chapter you'll see exactly how... In this chapter, it wasn't
explained as much. It's just so you know that Harry really could be
James's dad. The whole James thing with learning everything early just
has to be, because of the sequel that I'm planning ((Thank Erin for some
of the ideas!)). I don't know exactly why, besides maybe because he's
special... shrugs)
Author: J.E.A.R.K.Potter (Jackie)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does.
Chapter 8
Cookie & Songs
(A/N don't ask about the title. Think it's weird? Nah, it's not... :D
J)
Two weeks had passed by for Hermione, Harry, and baby James. James's
hair was slowly turning darker as he grew some. James had proven to his
mother and Harry that he was a very, very smart baby. He was already on
a normal sleeping pattern, not suckling off of Hermione's breast any
more, and when they sat him down on the floor to play while they did
homework he crawled around!
Hermione was resting. James was almost too good of a baby for her.
Harry had been doing some of his Potion's homework when he looked over
to check on James and found that James was munching on a cookie.
"Cookie?" James asked, cocking his head and looking at Harry.
Harry blinked. "Whoa, what?"
"Cookie!" James said again, dropping the cookie and clapping. His eyes
suddenly changed to red then to gray-blue.
"Malfoy blue," Harry said under his breath, then smiled at James.
"What are you doing saying your first words at two weeks? Hmm?" he asked
and went over to pick him up.
"Cookie?" James smiled. His eyes went back to a green.
"Mione, wake up," Harry said, gently shaking Hermione.
"What do you want?" she rolled onto her other side, away from Harry.
"James just said his first words," Harry said softly.
"What?" Hermione sat up immediately, looking at Harry and James.
James looked innocent. He didn't speak a word but a few
"goo-goo-ga-ga"'s, and even his eyes were back to red, the way that they
normally remained.
"Harry, I think you're the one who needs to rest, not me," Hermione
took James into her arms, and cooed at him.
"No, I think I'm going down to Hagrid's. That alright?" Harry asked,
and went over to get on his shoes and cloak.
"Sure, why not," Hermione said.
Harry smiled, then kissed her softly on the lips and James on the
forehead, and headed out to Hagrid's hut.
"Oy, 'Arry! Whatcha doin'? Aren'tche watchin' ove' lil' James?" Hagrid
asked, opening the door.
"You got any firewhiskey?" Harry asked, going in and sitting down on
one of the chairs.
"Of course me do, 'Arry. Why wouldn't me have any of that ole' stuff?"
Hagrid asked and shut the door. He went to one of the cabinets and got
some out. "How much do you want?"
"The whole bottle," Harry said.
"Oye...Ker," Hagrid tossed Harry the bottle, which he took and drunk
almost right away.
That went on for a long time till Harry was more than drunk that
Hagrid had to carry Harry back up to the castle.
"Oh sing with me Hagrid!! Oh what's a poor man to dooooooooooo, when
these eyes just keep a changin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All that I gotta
dooooooooooooo, is go and get a lot of booooooooseeeeeee!!!!!!!!" Harry
yelled/screamed.
Hagrid laughed. Shortly after, he saw Ron walking down the walk. "Oy,
Ron!" he yelled.
"Hey Hagrid! Hey... Harry?" Ron asked, going up to the two.
"He's drunk, Ron. Had to much firewhiskey if yer ask me. Yup, that he
did," Hagrid said.
Ron laughed. "Here, I'll take him from here for you," he said.
"Thank yer, Ron," Hagrid said, and gave Harry to Ron, who walked him
up to the Heads Common Room.
"Hermione!!" Ron yelled, banging on the door.
The door opened, and there stood Hermione. James was behind her,
crawling around close to her.
"Your boyfriend I return to you. Very drunk," Ron said, and sat Harry
down in front of Hermione.
((This is sang to the tune of Spongebob Squarepant's theme song!!))
"Hey, Mione! I gotta song for you!! Who's hand is the hand who gives
great jobs? HER-MI-O-NE! Who's the mom of the baby with changin' eyes?
HER-MI-O-NE! Who's cute and funny and gonna kill me? HER-MI-O-NE! Who's
the one with D cup tits? HER-MI-O-NE! HER-MI-O-NE! HER-MI-O-NE!
HER-MIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-NEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Harry said, and fell down on the floor, fast asleep.
"Go bye-bye?" James asked, and cocked his head.
Hermione didn't look amused at Harry's song, so she went and picked up
James. "Yes, Daddy go bye-bye. He go to sleepy land, where you should be
now mister," she smiled.
"Thank Merlin that he doesn't go into poetry!" Ron said. "Wait, did
James just talk?"
Hermione nodded. "He's done it all the time since Harry left.
Jabbering up a storm. Hey, I'm going to take James up to Dumbledore, and
see why all this is happening with him, okay?"
"Okay. I'll get Harry up and over to one of the beds," Ron said and
Hermione left with James in her arms.
"Harry, wake up," Ron said, shaking Harry's arm.
"Did you know that I could be the James's dad? Even though I never
fucked her?"
"Huh?"
"The spell that Hermione put on Fred and George that one me when you
and Ginny---"
"Don't go into details, mate. How could you almost be James's dad?"
"Hermione put a spell on Fred and George when they walked in on her and me when we were drunk. Must've hit us, too, after we got up and
dressed..." Harry shook his head. "Lemme sleep!" he pushed Ron out of
his way to the bed, and fell in it, going right back to sleep.
All Ron could do was stand there and blink.
---------------------------------------------------------------
(A/N Next chapter you'll see exactly how... In this chapter, it wasn't
explained as much. It's just so you know that Harry really could be
James's dad. The whole James thing with learning everything early just
has to be, because of the sequel that I'm planning ((Thank Erin for some
of the ideas!)). I don't know exactly why, besides maybe because he's
special... shrugs)