Final Fantasy: 8-Bit Theatre
======
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy nor do I own 8-Bit Theatre. They belong to their respective owners and frankly, I like them but I'd rather not own them. Too expensive.
======
====
Previously...
Black Mage and Fighter were going through the GIANT'S FOREST when the got lost. After a while, they were quickly found by the GIANT and ran for their lives like scared little girls. And now...
====
Black Mage: =reading FF-1 Strategy Guide= "Hm... so the broom talks backwards... interesting"
Fighter: =getting beaten by the GIANT= "Oh good Lord, no! Stop! I beg of you! Wait!... What are you... No, not the CLUB!! NOT THERE!!! It's far too lar--"
BM: =still reading the Guide= "Four White Mages? It'll never work!"
F: "ARRRRRRRGH!!!!" =falls from the GIANT'S CLUB and lands on the ground next to BM=
BM: =sighs and puts away Strategy Guide= "Do I have to do everything myself? Sheesh..."
F: =weakly= "Kill... me..."
BM: =reaches into Mage Robes= "Tempting... But I need you for a shield.. I mean 'traveling cohort'. Yeah, that's it. A traveling cohort." =finds a glowing ROCK= "Besides, it's time to kick some GIANT ass."
===
And thus, the GIANT is confused by the ROCK and why BM is holding it in both hands. Suddenly, the ROCK sparkles and shines and BM is summoning energy into it.
===
BM: =demonic look= "HA... DO... KEN!!!!!!"
===
And a big ray of blue-white energy emerges from the ROCK and smashes into the GIANT, causing a HUMONGOUS NUCLEAR EXPLOSION!!!!!!
===
=====
After the mushroom cloud disappeared, leaving a crater...
=====
F: =sitting on the ground with smoke rising from body= "Overkill much?"
BM: =also body is smoking from explosion= "The GIANT'S gone, ain't he?"
F: "Yeah.. but so's the WHOLE FOREST!!!"
BM: "Er... well, y'know... You can't make an... uh... Omelette without um... er... destroying a forest. Yeah... you can't do that without burning a forest... Or something like that."
F: =throws arms up= "YOU COULD'VE KILLED US WITH THAT BLAST!!!"
BM: "Yeah... but I didn't. Besides, now that the Forest is gone, we're not lost."
===
Meanwhile, on the other side of the crater...
===
Thief: =dangling from a tree= "Hm... the THIEF'S ALMANAC didn't say anything about atomic detonations either..."
===
Back to Black Mage and Fighter...
===
F: =following BM= "I can't believe you nuked the GIANT'S FOREST. Now we'll never find the CAVE OF NO RETURN. Jerk..."
BM: =turns around and waves a knife in F's face= "Ugh... There never WAS a CAVE OF NO RETURN, you clod."
F: "Yeah right. Like the old man would lie after I paid him all our gold in exchange for some information on where to find an adventure."
BM: =stares at F= "I hate to break it to you, but he TOOK our gold."
F: =points a finger in BM's face= "HA! You think you're so smart. Well, for you information, he didn't take our gold, I GAVE it to him, so there."
BM: =using imagination=
====
Inside BM's Imagination...
====
Mini-Fighter: "Duh, I am the Fighter. I gives away all of our shineys."
Mini-Black Mage: =aims spell at M-F= "HA.. DO... KEN!!!!"
M-F: "BLARG! I am dead!"
====
Back to Reality...
====
F: =taps BM on the shoulder= "Uh... what's so funny?"
BM: "Hehe... sucker..." =wakes up= "Ahem... nevermind. Let's just get back to town." =starts walking=
F: =follows= "... ... ... ... Why?"
BM: =exasperated= "To get our money back from the old man!"
F: "Well... what're we waiting on! Let's go!"
Random Bush: =shuffles after BM and F= =Thief's head pokes up= "The plot thickens..." =continues shuffling=
====
After a good deal of walking...
====
F: =standing before town= "Ah, finally. I was starting to get worried. It'll be dark soon."
BM: "Dark soon? What are you talking about? It's never night time around here."
F: =blank stare= "Huh?"
BM: "Well, until we stay at an Inn anyway..."
F: =scratching head and thinking= "You know what... I always thought that was kinda weird..."
BM: =faces the town= "Nevermind that now. We're almost in town."
===
And out of the clear blue, Three Ghosts and Three Imps appear...
===
BM: =clearly confused= "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS?!"
1st Ghost: "We're MONSTERS. Let's FIGHT!"
BM: "Uh... why?"
F: =waving arms in BM's face= "Oh wait! I've heard about these happenings!" =coughs for attention= "This is a 'random encounter'. "
BM: "A what?"
F: "A random encounter!"
BM: "... ... What'cha talkin' about Fighter? Have you been drinking my cider again?"
F: "You know, random encounters! You'll just be walkin' along and WHAM!" =smacks his hands together= "A batch of MONSTERS will appear out of nowhere and you'll have to fight them to the DEATH!!"
BM: "... ... ... ... ... ..."
F: "... ... ... ... ... ..."
BM: "... ... ... You're a looney."
F: =shrugs shoulders= "At least that's what the old man told me after I gave him all our gold."
1st Ghost: "AHEM!"
BM: "Aw... nuts..."
F: =waving a finger in the MONSTERS faces= "Man, are you MONSTERS in for it now."
BM: =clearly confused= "They... they are?"
F: =whacks BM on the back= "See my buddy here? He's a BLACK MAGE, a MASTER OF THE DARK ART OF DESTRUCTION, A WIELDER OF WILL, A NEXUS OF POWER that is tapped into the very living ley lines of the COSMOS! He can shaketh the very bounds of creation with but a SINGLE WORD!
BM: =OO;= "Actually..."
F: =ignores BM= "The heavens bow to the might of his magic! The gods quiver in fear that he should find them lacking his favor. Reality itself is his plaything, nothing more than clay in this sculptor's masterful and precise hands!"
BM: =OO;= "Um... but..."
F: =throws his arms up= "But you need not to take my word for it!" =points at the GIANT'S FOREST... or what's left of it...= "Lo! For behind us, can you see not the SMOLDERING CRATER what once was known as GIANT'S FOREST? It has been reduced to mere ashed. How, you ask? T'was the work of this very mage says I!"
BM: =;= "If you'd let me talk..."
F: =still ignoring BM= "And now you stand against him?! Oh, how I pity oyou foul and wretched creatures. At least take some solace in knowing that your utter obliteration shall be so night-instantaneous that you won't have the chance to feel how excrutiatingly painful it is!"
BM: =clearly exasperated= =looks at the MONSTERS= "Could you excuse us for a moment?"
1st Ghost: =clearly unfazed= "Of course."
BM: =towers over F= "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!!"
F: =OO;= "I'm taunting them about the incredible POWER at your disposal!"
BM: =returns to normal size= "You IDIOT!! I can only cast that spell ONCE A DAY!!! I've got NOTHING left!"
F: "Well... why didn't say something sooner?"
BM: "... ... ... ... ... ... ... God, I hate you..."
F: "So... now what?"
BM: "We run like scared little girls, that's what!"
F: =throws his arms up in the air= "Run? RUN?! We can't RUN?! Not after all that was said about your magical power!"
BM: == "And who's fault is that?"
F: =still waving arms= "Now is not the time to point fingers."
BM: "... ... ... ... ... Yeah... right..."
1st Ghost: "We ain't got all day, you know."
BM: "Sorry guys, just one second."
1st Ghost: "Make it quick."
F: =still thrashing his arms= "THOSE MOSTERS ARE GONNA EAT US ALIVE!!!!"
1st Ghost: "Human flesh? Raw?"
2st Ghost: "Oh, heavens no!"
3rd Ghost: "How barbaric!"
3rd Imp: "What does he think we are? MONSTERS?"
BM/F/Ghosts/Imp 1 & 2: =blink and stare at 3rd Imp=
3rd Imp: "... ... ... what?"
3rd Ghost: "Well, yeah. We are MONSTERS. But we're not MONSTERS about it."
1st Ghost: "Enough talk! ATTACK!!"
F: =running in circles= "MAGE!! You've got to think of something!"
BM: =digging in his robes and walking slowly toward F= "I have, Fighter, I have."
F: "Okay... What's your plan?"
BM: =slowly edging toward F= "It's a little something I like to call..." =grabs F=
"FIGHTER-DOKEN!!!!" =throws F at the MONSTERS=
F: =thinking as he flies= (Okay, don't panic. Must tap into inner reserves of strength. Must remember ancient and complex tenchiques of Vargus, the Ultimate Swordsman whom I trained under all my life...)
====
And thus Fighter did harken back to his days spent at Fighter's Camp '86...
====
Vargus, the Paladin: =swinging a sword and striking a stance= "Okay, Fighter. This is the most complicated technique I've taught you thus far..."
Younger Fighter: =watching TV= "Complicated technique... got it..."
Vargus: =unaware because his eyes are closed= "Should you ever find yourself being hurled at a horde of monsters, this is what you must do."
Y. Fighter: =changes the channel= "Horde of monsters... sure..."
Vargus: =swinging sword= "First, adopt stance three-alpha, as though falling from a great distance, with the sword parallel to the ground as opposed to perpen..." =turns around and opens eyes=
"ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION?!"
Y. Fighter: =still watching TV= "Yeah, yeah... Stance four-beta... gotcha..."
TV: "Next on 'Chicks in Chainmail', Eva Knyghtbane sports her new ebony bikini-plate armor..."
Vargus: =shakes head= "Why did I even take you in, in the first place?"
===
Back to the Present...
===
Fighter: =still flying through the air= "... ... ... DAMN YOU, WASTED YOUTH!!! DAMN YOU, I SAY!" =looks at MONSTERS= "Oh well... I guess I'll just have to improvise."
=yanks out TWO SWORDS= "TWO-FISTED MONKEY STYLE ATTACK!!!!"
Black Mage: =covers his eyes= "Whatever that is, it better involve keeping his pants on..."
F: =charges at the MONSTERS and hacks/slashes/beats/whips/bum-rushes/stabs/etc. the MONSTERS while making monkey noises= "Oah! Oah! Oah! Aurrrrrr!!!"
=lands a far distance away from the MONSTERS=
2nd Ghost: =blinks= "HE MISSED!!"
==
But suddenly, little numbers appeared on the bodies of the MONSTERS
==
1st Ghost: =damage indicator= 299 dmg.
2nd Ghost: =damage indicator= 386 dmg.
3rd Ghost: =dmg. indicator= 253 dmg.
1st Imp: =dmg. indicator= 267 dmg.
2nd Imp: =meh... see above...= 321 dmg.
3rd Imp: =once again... see above...= 347 dmg.
All MONSTERS: =fades away= "HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!"
Black Mage: =blinks= "... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..." =blinks=
Fighter: =stores away SWORDS= "Pretty cool, huh?"
BM: =walks toward F= "Can I ask you something?"
F: =cracks neck= "Shoot."
BM: =snigger= " 'Two-Fisted Monkey Style?' "
F: =brushes his shoulders= "Yyyyyyyyyup!"
BM: "And yelling 'TWO-FISTED MONKEY STYLE' doesn't strike to you as being REALLY WEIRD?"
F: =pulls out a Zodiac Calender= "Not at all you see..." =also pulls out a laser pointer=
"The Twelve Styles of the Vargus School correspond to the Twelve Signs of the Zodiac. Just as each sign has its own Strengths and Weaknesses, so too does each style. True mastery comes not from--"
BM: =pulls out KNIFE and taps it on Fighter's shoulder= "Forget that I asked..." =looks at the town= "Let's just get into town and beat the living Bajeezus out of the old man that took our gold."
F: =scratches head as he puts away the Zodiac and pointer= "That doesn't sound terribly heroic..." =looks at BM= "Does it?"
BM: =waves hand= "Bah! I wants me my gold, y'dig?"
====
And so, at the city gates...
====
Guard 1: =in a robotic voice= "Welcome to Corneria."
BM: =hides KNIFE in robes= "Thanks. So... what's up?"
Guard 1: =monotonous tone= "Welcome to Corneria."
BM: "... ... ... ... ... ... ..."
Guard 1: "... ... ... ... ... ... ..."
BM: "Um... I'm going to talk to my friend now."
Guard 1: "Welcome to Corneria."
BM: =carefully turns around= "Fighter, does anything strike to you as strange?"
Guard 2: =also in monotonous tone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =completely oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
BM: =seeing red, and eye twitches= "Urge... to... destroy... world... rising..."
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
BM: =counts= "1... 2.... 3... 4..." =snaps= "COME HERE, YOU IDIOT!!"
F: "Yo."
BM: "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" =left eye and left hand twitching=
F: "What? I'm a Fighter. I really do like swords."
BM: =gestures at the Guards= "Doesn't it seem odd to you that the Guards can only say one useless phrase over and over again?"
F: =shrugs shoulders= "I thought he was being friendly."
BM: =rubs head= "Forget it. Let's just get inside and see what's going on."
Random Bush from a while back: =shuffles after BM and F=
====
And so, both Fighter and Black Mage head into the Kingdom of Corneria, seeking the old man who STOLE their GOLD. But will they succeed? Can Black Mage resist the urge of kill Fighter? Can Fighter become a genius and stop being a complete ass? Will that Random Bush stop stalking our two heros?
STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!!
====
======
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy nor do I own 8-Bit Theatre. They belong to their respective owners and frankly, I like them but I'd rather not own them. Too expensive.
======
====
Previously...
Black Mage and Fighter were going through the GIANT'S FOREST when the got lost. After a while, they were quickly found by the GIANT and ran for their lives like scared little girls. And now...
====
Black Mage: =reading FF-1 Strategy Guide= "Hm... so the broom talks backwards... interesting"
Fighter: =getting beaten by the GIANT= "Oh good Lord, no! Stop! I beg of you! Wait!... What are you... No, not the CLUB!! NOT THERE!!! It's far too lar--"
BM: =still reading the Guide= "Four White Mages? It'll never work!"
F: "ARRRRRRRGH!!!!" =falls from the GIANT'S CLUB and lands on the ground next to BM=
BM: =sighs and puts away Strategy Guide= "Do I have to do everything myself? Sheesh..."
F: =weakly= "Kill... me..."
BM: =reaches into Mage Robes= "Tempting... But I need you for a shield.. I mean 'traveling cohort'. Yeah, that's it. A traveling cohort." =finds a glowing ROCK= "Besides, it's time to kick some GIANT ass."
===
And thus, the GIANT is confused by the ROCK and why BM is holding it in both hands. Suddenly, the ROCK sparkles and shines and BM is summoning energy into it.
===
BM: =demonic look= "HA... DO... KEN!!!!!!"
===
And a big ray of blue-white energy emerges from the ROCK and smashes into the GIANT, causing a HUMONGOUS NUCLEAR EXPLOSION!!!!!!
===
=====
After the mushroom cloud disappeared, leaving a crater...
=====
F: =sitting on the ground with smoke rising from body= "Overkill much?"
BM: =also body is smoking from explosion= "The GIANT'S gone, ain't he?"
F: "Yeah.. but so's the WHOLE FOREST!!!"
BM: "Er... well, y'know... You can't make an... uh... Omelette without um... er... destroying a forest. Yeah... you can't do that without burning a forest... Or something like that."
F: =throws arms up= "YOU COULD'VE KILLED US WITH THAT BLAST!!!"
BM: "Yeah... but I didn't. Besides, now that the Forest is gone, we're not lost."
===
Meanwhile, on the other side of the crater...
===
Thief: =dangling from a tree= "Hm... the THIEF'S ALMANAC didn't say anything about atomic detonations either..."
===
Back to Black Mage and Fighter...
===
F: =following BM= "I can't believe you nuked the GIANT'S FOREST. Now we'll never find the CAVE OF NO RETURN. Jerk..."
BM: =turns around and waves a knife in F's face= "Ugh... There never WAS a CAVE OF NO RETURN, you clod."
F: "Yeah right. Like the old man would lie after I paid him all our gold in exchange for some information on where to find an adventure."
BM: =stares at F= "I hate to break it to you, but he TOOK our gold."
F: =points a finger in BM's face= "HA! You think you're so smart. Well, for you information, he didn't take our gold, I GAVE it to him, so there."
BM: =using imagination=
====
Inside BM's Imagination...
====
Mini-Fighter: "Duh, I am the Fighter. I gives away all of our shineys."
Mini-Black Mage: =aims spell at M-F= "HA.. DO... KEN!!!!"
M-F: "BLARG! I am dead!"
====
Back to Reality...
====
F: =taps BM on the shoulder= "Uh... what's so funny?"
BM: "Hehe... sucker..." =wakes up= "Ahem... nevermind. Let's just get back to town." =starts walking=
F: =follows= "... ... ... ... Why?"
BM: =exasperated= "To get our money back from the old man!"
F: "Well... what're we waiting on! Let's go!"
Random Bush: =shuffles after BM and F= =Thief's head pokes up= "The plot thickens..." =continues shuffling=
====
After a good deal of walking...
====
F: =standing before town= "Ah, finally. I was starting to get worried. It'll be dark soon."
BM: "Dark soon? What are you talking about? It's never night time around here."
F: =blank stare= "Huh?"
BM: "Well, until we stay at an Inn anyway..."
F: =scratching head and thinking= "You know what... I always thought that was kinda weird..."
BM: =faces the town= "Nevermind that now. We're almost in town."
===
And out of the clear blue, Three Ghosts and Three Imps appear...
===
BM: =clearly confused= "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS?!"
1st Ghost: "We're MONSTERS. Let's FIGHT!"
BM: "Uh... why?"
F: =waving arms in BM's face= "Oh wait! I've heard about these happenings!" =coughs for attention= "This is a 'random encounter'. "
BM: "A what?"
F: "A random encounter!"
BM: "... ... What'cha talkin' about Fighter? Have you been drinking my cider again?"
F: "You know, random encounters! You'll just be walkin' along and WHAM!" =smacks his hands together= "A batch of MONSTERS will appear out of nowhere and you'll have to fight them to the DEATH!!"
BM: "... ... ... ... ... ..."
F: "... ... ... ... ... ..."
BM: "... ... ... You're a looney."
F: =shrugs shoulders= "At least that's what the old man told me after I gave him all our gold."
1st Ghost: "AHEM!"
BM: "Aw... nuts..."
F: =waving a finger in the MONSTERS faces= "Man, are you MONSTERS in for it now."
BM: =clearly confused= "They... they are?"
F: =whacks BM on the back= "See my buddy here? He's a BLACK MAGE, a MASTER OF THE DARK ART OF DESTRUCTION, A WIELDER OF WILL, A NEXUS OF POWER that is tapped into the very living ley lines of the COSMOS! He can shaketh the very bounds of creation with but a SINGLE WORD!
BM: =OO;= "Actually..."
F: =ignores BM= "The heavens bow to the might of his magic! The gods quiver in fear that he should find them lacking his favor. Reality itself is his plaything, nothing more than clay in this sculptor's masterful and precise hands!"
BM: =OO;= "Um... but..."
F: =throws his arms up= "But you need not to take my word for it!" =points at the GIANT'S FOREST... or what's left of it...= "Lo! For behind us, can you see not the SMOLDERING CRATER what once was known as GIANT'S FOREST? It has been reduced to mere ashed. How, you ask? T'was the work of this very mage says I!"
BM: =;= "If you'd let me talk..."
F: =still ignoring BM= "And now you stand against him?! Oh, how I pity oyou foul and wretched creatures. At least take some solace in knowing that your utter obliteration shall be so night-instantaneous that you won't have the chance to feel how excrutiatingly painful it is!"
BM: =clearly exasperated= =looks at the MONSTERS= "Could you excuse us for a moment?"
1st Ghost: =clearly unfazed= "Of course."
BM: =towers over F= "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!!"
F: =OO;= "I'm taunting them about the incredible POWER at your disposal!"
BM: =returns to normal size= "You IDIOT!! I can only cast that spell ONCE A DAY!!! I've got NOTHING left!"
F: "Well... why didn't say something sooner?"
BM: "... ... ... ... ... ... ... God, I hate you..."
F: "So... now what?"
BM: "We run like scared little girls, that's what!"
F: =throws his arms up in the air= "Run? RUN?! We can't RUN?! Not after all that was said about your magical power!"
BM: == "And who's fault is that?"
F: =still waving arms= "Now is not the time to point fingers."
BM: "... ... ... ... ... Yeah... right..."
1st Ghost: "We ain't got all day, you know."
BM: "Sorry guys, just one second."
1st Ghost: "Make it quick."
F: =still thrashing his arms= "THOSE MOSTERS ARE GONNA EAT US ALIVE!!!!"
1st Ghost: "Human flesh? Raw?"
2st Ghost: "Oh, heavens no!"
3rd Ghost: "How barbaric!"
3rd Imp: "What does he think we are? MONSTERS?"
BM/F/Ghosts/Imp 1 & 2: =blink and stare at 3rd Imp=
3rd Imp: "... ... ... what?"
3rd Ghost: "Well, yeah. We are MONSTERS. But we're not MONSTERS about it."
1st Ghost: "Enough talk! ATTACK!!"
F: =running in circles= "MAGE!! You've got to think of something!"
BM: =digging in his robes and walking slowly toward F= "I have, Fighter, I have."
F: "Okay... What's your plan?"
BM: =slowly edging toward F= "It's a little something I like to call..." =grabs F=
"FIGHTER-DOKEN!!!!" =throws F at the MONSTERS=
F: =thinking as he flies= (Okay, don't panic. Must tap into inner reserves of strength. Must remember ancient and complex tenchiques of Vargus, the Ultimate Swordsman whom I trained under all my life...)
====
And thus Fighter did harken back to his days spent at Fighter's Camp '86...
====
Vargus, the Paladin: =swinging a sword and striking a stance= "Okay, Fighter. This is the most complicated technique I've taught you thus far..."
Younger Fighter: =watching TV= "Complicated technique... got it..."
Vargus: =unaware because his eyes are closed= "Should you ever find yourself being hurled at a horde of monsters, this is what you must do."
Y. Fighter: =changes the channel= "Horde of monsters... sure..."
Vargus: =swinging sword= "First, adopt stance three-alpha, as though falling from a great distance, with the sword parallel to the ground as opposed to perpen..." =turns around and opens eyes=
"ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION?!"
Y. Fighter: =still watching TV= "Yeah, yeah... Stance four-beta... gotcha..."
TV: "Next on 'Chicks in Chainmail', Eva Knyghtbane sports her new ebony bikini-plate armor..."
Vargus: =shakes head= "Why did I even take you in, in the first place?"
===
Back to the Present...
===
Fighter: =still flying through the air= "... ... ... DAMN YOU, WASTED YOUTH!!! DAMN YOU, I SAY!" =looks at MONSTERS= "Oh well... I guess I'll just have to improvise."
=yanks out TWO SWORDS= "TWO-FISTED MONKEY STYLE ATTACK!!!!"
Black Mage: =covers his eyes= "Whatever that is, it better involve keeping his pants on..."
F: =charges at the MONSTERS and hacks/slashes/beats/whips/bum-rushes/stabs/etc. the MONSTERS while making monkey noises= "Oah! Oah! Oah! Aurrrrrr!!!"
=lands a far distance away from the MONSTERS=
2nd Ghost: =blinks= "HE MISSED!!"
==
But suddenly, little numbers appeared on the bodies of the MONSTERS
==
1st Ghost: =damage indicator= 299 dmg.
2nd Ghost: =damage indicator= 386 dmg.
3rd Ghost: =dmg. indicator= 253 dmg.
1st Imp: =dmg. indicator= 267 dmg.
2nd Imp: =meh... see above...= 321 dmg.
3rd Imp: =once again... see above...= 347 dmg.
All MONSTERS: =fades away= "HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!"
Black Mage: =blinks= "... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..." =blinks=
Fighter: =stores away SWORDS= "Pretty cool, huh?"
BM: =walks toward F= "Can I ask you something?"
F: =cracks neck= "Shoot."
BM: =snigger= " 'Two-Fisted Monkey Style?' "
F: =brushes his shoulders= "Yyyyyyyyyup!"
BM: "And yelling 'TWO-FISTED MONKEY STYLE' doesn't strike to you as being REALLY WEIRD?"
F: =pulls out a Zodiac Calender= "Not at all you see..." =also pulls out a laser pointer=
"The Twelve Styles of the Vargus School correspond to the Twelve Signs of the Zodiac. Just as each sign has its own Strengths and Weaknesses, so too does each style. True mastery comes not from--"
BM: =pulls out KNIFE and taps it on Fighter's shoulder= "Forget that I asked..." =looks at the town= "Let's just get into town and beat the living Bajeezus out of the old man that took our gold."
F: =scratches head as he puts away the Zodiac and pointer= "That doesn't sound terribly heroic..." =looks at BM= "Does it?"
BM: =waves hand= "Bah! I wants me my gold, y'dig?"
====
And so, at the city gates...
====
Guard 1: =in a robotic voice= "Welcome to Corneria."
BM: =hides KNIFE in robes= "Thanks. So... what's up?"
Guard 1: =monotonous tone= "Welcome to Corneria."
BM: "... ... ... ... ... ... ..."
Guard 1: "... ... ... ... ... ... ..."
BM: "Um... I'm going to talk to my friend now."
Guard 1: "Welcome to Corneria."
BM: =carefully turns around= "Fighter, does anything strike to you as strange?"
Guard 2: =also in monotonous tone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =completely oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
BM: =seeing red, and eye twitches= "Urge... to... destroy... world... rising..."
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
Guard 2: =monotone= "Welcome to Corneria."
F: =still oblivious= "I like swords!"
BM: =counts= "1... 2.... 3... 4..." =snaps= "COME HERE, YOU IDIOT!!"
F: "Yo."
BM: "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" =left eye and left hand twitching=
F: "What? I'm a Fighter. I really do like swords."
BM: =gestures at the Guards= "Doesn't it seem odd to you that the Guards can only say one useless phrase over and over again?"
F: =shrugs shoulders= "I thought he was being friendly."
BM: =rubs head= "Forget it. Let's just get inside and see what's going on."
Random Bush from a while back: =shuffles after BM and F=
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And so, both Fighter and Black Mage head into the Kingdom of Corneria, seeking the old man who STOLE their GOLD. But will they succeed? Can Black Mage resist the urge of kill Fighter? Can Fighter become a genius and stop being a complete ass? Will that Random Bush stop stalking our two heros?
STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!!
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