REVISED...kinda

Chapter 4

Here is that other chapter I promised you guys today. It is short, but two updates in one day, don't complain. Well...enjoy...yeah...

I don't own nothing and probably never will.

Believe

"Ikari-kun. Follow me."

Shinji seemed to think for half a second and then nod. They walked steadily down the long corridor. It seemed gloomy and dark. The road to a monster. As they walked, the alarm blared all over the complex, as people were put on first level alert.

"Ayanami..."

She replied without turning around, her stride not even flinching for a second.

"What."

"Ayanami...can I ask...can I ask you something...again?"

She suddenly stopped; stood there.

"Yes."

Looking down, he asked, "Do you think...people are made to never understand each other?"

Rei contemplate the question, running it through her head.

"Yes."

Shinji rushed forward, to meet her eyes. He wanted to say something. But it didn't come. It never comes. He just stood there, arms stretched, mouth gaping. What he wanted, needed, to say did not appear to him. This thought, this ideal, was mocking him. He stood there for a long moment, as if determined to wait until it came to him though it never did. Shinji was grasping at straws and gasping for breathe.

"Ikari-kun. Who do you wish to understand?"

Shivering, he said with a stutter, "P-people...my father."

"Why?"

"B-because..." he stuttered, "Because, then I...I wouldn't be alone...because someone would be able to understand me then...they would be...would be my friend...they would...love me."

The last words caused his body to sink, slumped over. When he raised his head, Rei's eyes locked onto his, and he froze. She looked determined, stern, and serious. It terrified him. It was as if his life was in her hands, those crimson eyes held him like rag doll. If she said, don't think that way, he would have. He saw himself. He saw himself in Rei's eyes. Rei's eyes looking at him. Him looking at him. He was disgusted and distraught. His eyes dug into his own, running after him, chasing him around and around. He longed to tear his face off. To die a silent violent death, to end it all in disgust for himself. To end the void. As he fell deeper and deeper into the pit of his own reflection her words suddenly reached out and caught him.

"Shinji, I am your friend."

His feet suddenly gave out underneath him. And he lay there. Stunned. Rei stood still. Looking forward, adamant.

"Why. I don't deserve...I don't...I don't understand...I...I...but..."

"You don't have to. I do not understand either. But we are friends. You cannot deny that. And you have others. You cannot deny them. You have no right to deny them. You know this. Why do you still suffer? I do not understand Shinji. Don't try to understand either. Shinji-chan."

Shinji stood breathless. His body still shivered and convulsed, as if straining out the last demons that were taunting him. The four words Rei spoke rebounded over and over again in his head. And slowly, he collected himself together, and got up.

"Rei," He said. And his voice was strong. Confident.

"Thank you Rei. For being my friend."

And she smiled.

"Let's go. Together."

And they went.

As Shinji undressed, doubts and confusion still ran amuck in his head. Rei's words were surprising and unexpected. But then, he realized her words were true. He remembered that first day Asuka had came. When she had threatened Rei and he had defended her. When she had smiled that smile that stirred his soul when he helped her out of her smoldering cockpit. That was the same smile she had given him moments before. He also remembered how she had invited him to tea the day before. All these things touched him slowly and suddenly at the same time. He had this friend he never knew was there; who had known of him. But then, he could never picture him and Rei having fun the way he, Toji, and Kensuke had. Rei's company was different...but soothing.

Shinji sat, a small curtain separating himself from Rei. He watched as her silhouette undress and slip into its plug suit. He sat there. Smiling. Thinking back to his father, he wondered if the man was right after all. Rei and himself were friends, and neither truly comprehended the other. Then and there, he decided to put an end to all the pain caused by the words of the one he called father. And suddenly it hit him. Why this pain and why this was taunting him so. Why he piloted the Eva and why he wanted to be able to communicate with his father so greatly. He wanted to forgive him. Forgive him for letting his mother die. For abandoning him. For so many unnamed things that he hated. He wanted his praise. He wanted his love. That's why those words struck him so. If he never understands his father, how can he forgive him for the atrocious acts he has done? How could he take up his forgotten role? How could he be...his father? And this was it. It was now behind him, he told himself. He scoffed loudly at the lie, his smile turning into a dismal frown. It had been a nice sentiment but he knew it wouldn't be that easy. The only thing that wiped his father's discontenting frown from his mind was Ayanami's subtle smile.

Pilots of Eva Unit 00 and 01 sat in their entry plugs, waiting for their other colleague who was being transported from their school. They sat there, waiting for orders and waiting for launch. Apparently this new angel had everybody a little freaked, what with the commander out on business.

"Hey. Rei."

"Yes?"

Shinji passed the thoughts through his head. He weighed the possibilities and his chances. In a split second, his mind went through all the bad, the rejection, the scars, the hurt, the pain, the suffering, the agony of trying. He wondered if it was truly worth it. And then, when the question came up, the possibility, he shoved it far back into the reaches of his consciousness with the words 'we are friends.' Meaning they had all the world and nothing more. But his inquiry should be harmless...afterall, she had just confirmed it. They were friends.

"I was just wondering, do you have any hobbies?"

Rei looked up at the screen. She looked up at Shinji's brown eyes.

"I...I don't know."

Shinji did not know whether to go on or drop it. If it was Toji or Kensuke, he would have kept pushing it, but with Rei there was no way he could be that relaxed. Talking to her about this, he knew, was easier than thinking about his father. And that was the whole point. Taking in a big breath, he replied,

"What I mean is, do you enjoy doing anything in your free time? All you do is seem to work..."

Rei thought for a moment and replied, "I do not usually have free time."

"Hmmm." said Shinji said with a frown, "Is there anything you've wanted to do lately?" He felt as if he were intruding, walking on ground not meant for his feet. Shinji wanted to step back, to let it go and forget it all but something within compelled him to at least try. It wasn't just curiosity that picked at his brain but something else he couldn't describe. Shinji took a deep breathe as he waited.

"..." again she thought over his words, wondering why he suddenly questioned her hobbies, or lack thereof.

"I...never mind."

"No, what is it?"

Rei thought it over. She was embarrassed already. This was her private secret, something about her she never told anyone. Heaven forbid she showed any outward emotion about it; inside her head, she smiled. Entertained the idea, wondering what he would do with the knowledge.

"I..."

"Hmm?"

"Behind my apartment...there is..."

"Huh?"

Rei suddenly scowled, as if to herself. Closing her eyes, Rei lay still. No breath, no quiver, no movement whatsoever came from her body. Abruptly, she spoke a firm,

"Nothing."

Done. I'll be updating soooooOOON. Ok? Ok.

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