Hi~didn't think I'd be back, did you? No, I did not abandon this fic, just
left the updating until I revised some other chapters. The lack of reviews
did not help my promptness either. Well, here is where everything starts.
This is the kind of writing I truly enjoy to write. Have fun!
I do not own Evangelion. Yup. Took awhile to figure that one out.
Chapter 7: Something Hidden
Her words seemed to echo in his mind and vibrate through every sense of his body. Yes? Another question, another venture, another possible failure. Throughout his life, Shinji Ikari's motto could have been, "Why is the world against me?" But instead, his ever present thought was, "I deserve this suffering..." For a second he was tempted to reject her approval. Somehow, his subconscious saw another way to make him suffer and almost convinced him to take it. Maybe he even liked the pain. Not even he would ever know, unaware he was of the most extreme Masochists.
Rei's eyes seemed to draw him forward, and before he could say another word, he picked up his bag and started walking with her out of the complex. They walked side by side, not a word going on between them. But the air between the two was peculiar and strange. It was as if they had just been absorbed in an intense and close conversation, and that pause was needed for resolution. They seemed to walk through an air of content that neither understood nor truly realized was there. Simply basking in each other's company, the two made their way to Rei's apartment.
Shinji could not put his finger on it. He kept sneaking glances at her, expecting to see something. And every time, that something smacked him back in the face, though he couldn't understand what it was. Her eye's captured him. Her face melted him. And everything he saw about her was good. Like everyone else in the world, he could not understand her. He knew nothing, but as he had decided before, he knew that was okay.
The two walked quite a ways. Passed an abandoned elementary school, past a district of old strip malls, and approached a park. Rei almost always walked when possible. It wasn't as if she enjoyed the scenery or appreciated the exercise, it was just in her character. Shinji didn't mind too much either, and though the sun was hot, and the air humid, he did not sweat a single drop.
Rei could not understand it. What kind of feeling was this? Something indefinable, indescribable, insatiable, greedy and kind. She liked it. The very thought frightened her. This was wrong, this was not right, this should not be. Everything in her life had been previously planned. Somehow, this had not figured in. Emotions were not apart of her make up, but every time she caught the boy next to her sneaking quick glances, they swelled and raged in her soul. Moments before, she had seen his uncovered body and at first felt very unclean, rude and evil. Everyone has a private zone, and while she never cared to raise hers, her eyes had cut through Shinji's and saw something they shouldn't have. She now could see the strange peculiarity that Shinji felt when he first saw her unclothed. Shinji had thought he had pierced some kind of privacy; her AT field. But Rei did not care at the time and was actually perplexed by his emotions. What little barrier to herself she had was thin and transparent. She did not care for herself. There was no reason to.
And so as she had retreated to her dressing room, she felt deadly. She had wanted to tear her eyes out once she had heard Shinji's screams of horror behind the door. Rei felt that she had scarred him, ripped across that barrier called the AT field. She had even felt the near tore. Throughout her life she had done so to several other people and even incited the murder of her past self. But those cases were entirely different. With Shinji, she felt a need to protect him. That's why she always offered to pilot unit 01, because it caused him so much pain. That's why she almost died trying to save him from an angel. That's why she would sacrifice herself if ever the need arose. It screamed from her soul: a mother's love.
And it is because Rei had defiled him so was she so shocked when she found him waiting for her. She expected rage. She expected hate. That was all she ever experienced in past cases of crossing someone. But instead, from his quivering lips, came an answer, a plea. He wanted HER to forgive HIM. It made no logic to her. She was the intruder. He was the victim. But instead he cared what SHE thought. Again, it made no logic to her.
It started slowly, the realization, and the more she thought about it, the more it became clear. The more it clarified, the more unbelievable it came. And the more she believed it, the more it frightened her. As they walked, the agonizing realization came that Shinji cared. No one cared. Not even her. She was a tool. An object. A thing meant to be used once and disposed of. All this time, all she ever longed for was that use and release. To be of use, to be of worth, and then, her joy and purpose fulfilled, she could have utter and eternal release. Now this boy had shown he cared. And this wasn't the first time. He had burned his hands, permanently fusing bits and pieces of his plug suit to his palms in order to save her. He had shown care when he tried to ease the pain in her injured hand back at her apartment the other night. His care, his affection, the first affection she had ever been subject to, actually gave her a purpose. A reason. After all, who lives for themselves? All live for the love of others and the love of God. It is how humans are made. And with this new purpose, something else budded within her: a woman's love.
The two children walked through the park, the tops of the trees swaying to and fro in the wind. This was one of the few parks still undestroyed in Tokyo-3. The pair came to a river and a small cobbled stone bridge. They stood in before it, both wondering who should cross first. At last Shinji gestured forward and Rei proceeded.
The wind rippled across the water, shaking nearby stalks of grass and causing the calm river to stir. Suddenly, a squall blew across the water tops, racing across as if on a mission. It whispered in the ears of children and screamed in the ears of men. The wind came down and hit the young, blue haired child crossing the bridge. She gave no yelp or cries, just flapped her arms slightly and began to fall. The water looked dark and uninviting underneath as she lost her balance. But before a strand of her hair could touch the water, a hand came out, an arm, a body, and caught her in place.
Shinji stood there, holding her, his body shaking. The two lay still for minutes, both breathing heavy as if short of breath. Rei stared at him with wonder and amazement. Shinji stared down as he always did, though his body shaked like nothing else. Their touch electrified the other. This was strange. Both of them sensed they were falling, and both of them sensed that they had been caught by the other. Slowly the boy raised his head, and met the eye of the girl. And though he made no sound, it shocked him beyond anything he had ever felt. It was as if it could go on forever. Eventually, Shinji slowly placed her comfortably on the bridge, his hands lingering terribly. Rei was still shocked.
"Lets...rest here for awhile..."
Rei nodded slightly.
The wind blew a cool breeze across their faces, and Rei swung her legs over the water. Time seemed to stand still once more and the air of content never seemed to fade. Rei closed her eyes, wishing for this moment to last forever. Slowly closing her eyes, she could still see the scenery around her. The two sitting on the bridge, the wind playing with their hair, their hands so close yet so far.
And unknowingly, Rei began to drift away in the moment, her hair running across her face. Neither Rei nor Shinji knew what was happening when Rei slowly leaned her head on his shoulder, the touch of their bodies electrifying the two once more. Neither of them noticed because both of them were smiling.
End chapter
Yeah, that's my true writing style: good ol' sappy love. What can I say? Hope you like it, I plan to have it go much, MUCH farther. But of course, unless you review, the next chapter wont come up for quite some time. Sorry guys, but that's how I do things.
LIKE I SAID, REVIEW! _
I do not own Evangelion. Yup. Took awhile to figure that one out.
Chapter 7: Something Hidden
Her words seemed to echo in his mind and vibrate through every sense of his body. Yes? Another question, another venture, another possible failure. Throughout his life, Shinji Ikari's motto could have been, "Why is the world against me?" But instead, his ever present thought was, "I deserve this suffering..." For a second he was tempted to reject her approval. Somehow, his subconscious saw another way to make him suffer and almost convinced him to take it. Maybe he even liked the pain. Not even he would ever know, unaware he was of the most extreme Masochists.
Rei's eyes seemed to draw him forward, and before he could say another word, he picked up his bag and started walking with her out of the complex. They walked side by side, not a word going on between them. But the air between the two was peculiar and strange. It was as if they had just been absorbed in an intense and close conversation, and that pause was needed for resolution. They seemed to walk through an air of content that neither understood nor truly realized was there. Simply basking in each other's company, the two made their way to Rei's apartment.
Shinji could not put his finger on it. He kept sneaking glances at her, expecting to see something. And every time, that something smacked him back in the face, though he couldn't understand what it was. Her eye's captured him. Her face melted him. And everything he saw about her was good. Like everyone else in the world, he could not understand her. He knew nothing, but as he had decided before, he knew that was okay.
The two walked quite a ways. Passed an abandoned elementary school, past a district of old strip malls, and approached a park. Rei almost always walked when possible. It wasn't as if she enjoyed the scenery or appreciated the exercise, it was just in her character. Shinji didn't mind too much either, and though the sun was hot, and the air humid, he did not sweat a single drop.
Rei could not understand it. What kind of feeling was this? Something indefinable, indescribable, insatiable, greedy and kind. She liked it. The very thought frightened her. This was wrong, this was not right, this should not be. Everything in her life had been previously planned. Somehow, this had not figured in. Emotions were not apart of her make up, but every time she caught the boy next to her sneaking quick glances, they swelled and raged in her soul. Moments before, she had seen his uncovered body and at first felt very unclean, rude and evil. Everyone has a private zone, and while she never cared to raise hers, her eyes had cut through Shinji's and saw something they shouldn't have. She now could see the strange peculiarity that Shinji felt when he first saw her unclothed. Shinji had thought he had pierced some kind of privacy; her AT field. But Rei did not care at the time and was actually perplexed by his emotions. What little barrier to herself she had was thin and transparent. She did not care for herself. There was no reason to.
And so as she had retreated to her dressing room, she felt deadly. She had wanted to tear her eyes out once she had heard Shinji's screams of horror behind the door. Rei felt that she had scarred him, ripped across that barrier called the AT field. She had even felt the near tore. Throughout her life she had done so to several other people and even incited the murder of her past self. But those cases were entirely different. With Shinji, she felt a need to protect him. That's why she always offered to pilot unit 01, because it caused him so much pain. That's why she almost died trying to save him from an angel. That's why she would sacrifice herself if ever the need arose. It screamed from her soul: a mother's love.
And it is because Rei had defiled him so was she so shocked when she found him waiting for her. She expected rage. She expected hate. That was all she ever experienced in past cases of crossing someone. But instead, from his quivering lips, came an answer, a plea. He wanted HER to forgive HIM. It made no logic to her. She was the intruder. He was the victim. But instead he cared what SHE thought. Again, it made no logic to her.
It started slowly, the realization, and the more she thought about it, the more it became clear. The more it clarified, the more unbelievable it came. And the more she believed it, the more it frightened her. As they walked, the agonizing realization came that Shinji cared. No one cared. Not even her. She was a tool. An object. A thing meant to be used once and disposed of. All this time, all she ever longed for was that use and release. To be of use, to be of worth, and then, her joy and purpose fulfilled, she could have utter and eternal release. Now this boy had shown he cared. And this wasn't the first time. He had burned his hands, permanently fusing bits and pieces of his plug suit to his palms in order to save her. He had shown care when he tried to ease the pain in her injured hand back at her apartment the other night. His care, his affection, the first affection she had ever been subject to, actually gave her a purpose. A reason. After all, who lives for themselves? All live for the love of others and the love of God. It is how humans are made. And with this new purpose, something else budded within her: a woman's love.
The two children walked through the park, the tops of the trees swaying to and fro in the wind. This was one of the few parks still undestroyed in Tokyo-3. The pair came to a river and a small cobbled stone bridge. They stood in before it, both wondering who should cross first. At last Shinji gestured forward and Rei proceeded.
The wind rippled across the water, shaking nearby stalks of grass and causing the calm river to stir. Suddenly, a squall blew across the water tops, racing across as if on a mission. It whispered in the ears of children and screamed in the ears of men. The wind came down and hit the young, blue haired child crossing the bridge. She gave no yelp or cries, just flapped her arms slightly and began to fall. The water looked dark and uninviting underneath as she lost her balance. But before a strand of her hair could touch the water, a hand came out, an arm, a body, and caught her in place.
Shinji stood there, holding her, his body shaking. The two lay still for minutes, both breathing heavy as if short of breath. Rei stared at him with wonder and amazement. Shinji stared down as he always did, though his body shaked like nothing else. Their touch electrified the other. This was strange. Both of them sensed they were falling, and both of them sensed that they had been caught by the other. Slowly the boy raised his head, and met the eye of the girl. And though he made no sound, it shocked him beyond anything he had ever felt. It was as if it could go on forever. Eventually, Shinji slowly placed her comfortably on the bridge, his hands lingering terribly. Rei was still shocked.
"Lets...rest here for awhile..."
Rei nodded slightly.
The wind blew a cool breeze across their faces, and Rei swung her legs over the water. Time seemed to stand still once more and the air of content never seemed to fade. Rei closed her eyes, wishing for this moment to last forever. Slowly closing her eyes, she could still see the scenery around her. The two sitting on the bridge, the wind playing with their hair, their hands so close yet so far.
And unknowingly, Rei began to drift away in the moment, her hair running across her face. Neither Rei nor Shinji knew what was happening when Rei slowly leaned her head on his shoulder, the touch of their bodies electrifying the two once more. Neither of them noticed because both of them were smiling.
End chapter
Yeah, that's my true writing style: good ol' sappy love. What can I say? Hope you like it, I plan to have it go much, MUCH farther. But of course, unless you review, the next chapter wont come up for quite some time. Sorry guys, but that's how I do things.
LIKE I SAID, REVIEW! _