Disclaimer: All characters belong to JK and all the people in between. By suing me in any way, you will promptly receive a brand new homecoming dress and a prominent middle finger.
Warning: Umm, beware of a not-so-well written fanfic that has possible side effects including- manic depression, heartburn, insanity, and waste-of-time. Other then that, beware of slash! Oh, and possibly spoilers from the 5th book. Oh..... and Lupin is out of character a bit. I don't think he could ever be as... mental as I portrayed him. Oh, and one more thing. This chapter contains a scene towards the end that is so corny and lovey-dovey that you may want to puke. So keep the trash can close!
Thank you: EdenMalfoy017- Thank you for the review. I'm glad that you liked the jewelry idea! Spellcastre- for reviewing all my Iris chapters and now my Young and Proud chapters. You go girl! Or guy..... but I'm pretty sure that you're a girl ^_^
Mistal, Autumn Priestess- Wow, I'm glad that someone likes the AN's. Some of them are lame, but I try to be funny... and it doesn't work too well. Thank you for reviewing!
ETBRS- Yea, I got your review for two chapters in a row! That makes me very very happy! Muchas gracias! Oh... btw what does your name stand for?
Karmalysis- Hope I didn't keep you waiting too much for this chapter. Thank you for reviewing! (Oh, I like the "stupid dance", dancing is good!)
Gifted One aka Mika!- Muchas gracias para leyes mi fanfic! Slash slash! Oh, y muchas gracias por ya estas yaiendo! Thank you for also helping beta this chapter!
Lisa Ann- Everybody bow to Lisa Ann! The bestest beta reader that anyone could ask for! Thank you for betaing my chapters and for the advice that always cracks me up!
Amarthiel- Ya ya! Thank you for listening to me read you this and giving me feed back. Thank you for putting up with me for every period of the school day and being on my side. The war has begun!
Now here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for (and I apologize for the months of delay!) chapter 10!
Chapter 10: An old secret and new apology
[And you're so young and proud]
Severus Snape was not easily fooled. He had overheard someone scream his godson's name (AN: Argh, I'd do that every night if I had my own Draco ^_~), seen Draco run into a room, and then saw the youngest male Weasley storm from it. The next person to leave the room was Albus Dumbledore, though Severus had not remembered seeing the headmaster ever entering the room. Dumbledore had giving in a knowing glance, and then breezed by him in the hallway without a single word. More shouts and yells were soon heard from the room and not more then a moment later, his godson stormed out of the room, with a look so evil that it would have made Lucius very proud. The last sound he heard was a strangled scream, and the sound of wood splintering. No, Severus Snape was not a fool, for he knew who was in the room and what the fight had been about.
He billowed up to the doorway (AN: How does he billow? With a billowing machine under his robes of course! Where does the machine go? I'll let you figure that out for yourselves.) and became witness to Harry's murder of the defenseless chair. A fire burned within the tortured green eyes as he continued to kick the chair and scream at it as though it could hear him. Severus had lived though this fight once, in a time long ago, but his love had not come out victorious and he had become the living proof that love your destroy a man. But because of that, he felt a pang in his cold heart for the enraged boy-who-lived, he did not want anyone, even Harry, to become what his ex-lover had become, a man who floated through life with no purpose.
"Potter, I can assure you that the chair is dead and can't hear your screams," Snape said, his mouth curled into a smirk.
"What do you care?" Was the grumbled response he received.
"I have a duty to care for all of the students in the school, whether I want to or not." Snape pulled out his wand. "Repario." the chair put itself back together and Snape motioned for Harry to sit down.
"Am I in trouble?" Harry asked mockingly.
"You will be if you don't hold your tongue Potter!" Snape all but snarled. He straightened up and leaned against the wall. "Now then, I won't pretend to not know what you and my godson were fighting about, I know very well what your disagreement was about."
"Well, isn't that just dandy, I'm glad our fight has been broadcast around the school. If you're the first to talked to be about it, I just can't wait until later!" (AN: Smarmy little bastard, isn't he? * author is trampled by angry fangirls *)
"That's a detention tomorrow night for your tongue Potter, make sure your mouth stays closed while I am speaking to you.
Now then, you need to be prepared for the choices that you are going to make Potter. You can either forgive each other and fulfill your destinies together like you were meant to do, or you will both fall into darkness together, and never find a lasting love again."
Harry raised an eyebrow at Snape, questioning the sanity of the potions master and asked "Why should I take love advice from you? You're not even married, and it sounds like you got that from Trelawney."
"You're right Potter, I'm not married," Snape said, as he turned to leave the room, his voice sounded slightly hurt. "Because I failed to forgive someone I loved, all those years ago."
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The doors that led outside were pushed open as Ron hastily made his way to Hagrid's hut. After ten minutes of Ginny and Seamus, he decided to go somewhere he could be almost alone, and Hagrid's was the best place for it. He wanted to use the fireplace to talk to his mother, as to her opinion on what he should do. Mrs. Weasley had always been levelheaded, she would definitely know what to do and what to say. Ron especially felt guilty for blowing up at Hermione, who never deserved half of the stuff he would say to her whenever he got angry. On the other hand, he had deserved all the things she said to him, it was all true.
Harrywas the one thing he was unsure of. How could Harry turn his back on his best friends for Draco Malfoy of all people? Lucius Malfoy had almost succeeded in killing Harry three times, and now Harry was seeing his son. Ron wondered if it was the stress that Sirius's death had caused that made Harry 'go mad' and date Malfoy. It just didn't make sense that sensible Harry would fall in love with a Death Eater brat. Ron wrinkled his nose, this sounded an awful lot like a muggle romance fic. He wondered if Harry actually believed that he would be okay with the fact, either that or he was been hit one too many times with the Unforgivable curses.
As Hagrid's hut came into view, Ron's anger boiled over again. How dare Draco Malfoy even set foot near Harry or think he was good enough to be in his presence. And what made it even worse was the fact that Harry didn't say anything when Draco had burst into the room, except look at the blonde boy bewildered but almost as if he was longing for his touch. It was the little things that Ron overlooked. The reasons why Malfoy never bothered the golden trio, and it especially added up to where Harry had been disappearing off to recently.
Ron knocked, or rather banged, on the door of Hagrid's hut, and was greeted by Fang's whining and scratching on the door.
"Ah, wait just a minute," he heard Hagrid yell, and then the sound of Fang being dragged back from the door.
The door swung open a moment later, revealing Hagrid, who once again had a few bruises on his face.
"Hello Ron," he said, with a smile.
"Hello Hagrid," Ron answered, trying his best to keep the anger down. "I was wondering if I could use your fireplace to talk to my mum."
"Err, sure, I suppose," Hagrid replied and let Ron in. "Would you like a bit of tea?"
"Oh, no thank you Hagrid, just the fire place." Ron walked over to the fireplace and knelt beside it. He took a handful of powder out of the bucket next to the fireplace and threw it in while saying "12 Grimauld Place" (A/N: Sorry if I spelt that wrong, I'm too lazy to get up and get the book right now).
And with a pop, his head showed up in the kitchen of the Order of the Phoenix's headquarters.
"Hello?" He called. "Is anyone here? Hello?"
He heard silence for a minute, and then soft footsteps. A moment later, Remus Lupin stepped into the kitchen and gave Ron a halfhearted smile.
"Hello Ron," he said quietly. "Can I be of service to you?"
"Umm.. Is my mother there right now," Ron said slowly. He knew he shouldn't be, yet he was staring at Lupin as if he had grown a 2nd head. The werewolf had aged dramatically since the last time Ron had seen him. His hair was now completely gray while his patched robes where hanging off of him as though he was a scarecrow.
"No, your mother went to visit the twins," Lupin said, taking a seat at the table facing Ron. "May I help you with whatever you need?"
"Err, well, truthfully I need some advice."
"Oh."
Ron just blinked, expecting the ex-professor to say something else, but he sat there as if waiting for Ron to continue on.
"Oh, right, well Harry and I had a fight."
"Oh."
Once again, Remus Lupin did not say anything and looked at Ron as though he was waiting for him to continue. There was almost a look of understanding in his eyes, as if he knew exactly what Ron was going to tell him. Ron almost shuddered, he had always been a bit scared by the distant look in the werewolves eyes.
"What did you fight about," he asked, his amber eyes not leaving Ron's, "Not over girls, I hope?"
"Well yes, well no," Ron said, his face flushing red as he realized what he was about to tell Lupin. "We weren't exactly fight over girls, per say, but something of that manner."
"Over boys?"
Ron broke eye contact with the werewolf, looking around the kitchen of Number 12 Grimauld Place. He frowned as he saw broken plates and shards of glass littered around the floor of the kitchen. He looked back up at Lupin and saw that his left hand was bandaged, as well as a few fresh looking cuts on his forehead and cheeks.
"I had a fight earlier today, if that's what you're looking at," Remus softly said.
"I'm sorry," Ron said quickly, "I didn't mean to stare." He paused. "Who did you fight with, if it's not to bold to ask?"
"Oh, it is never to bold to ask anything that pertains to another truth. I was fighting with myself. I can't seem to agree with myself anymore, not since Sirius died."
Ron was silent, he didn't want to bring up anything that would anger or upset the already frail man.
"It is so interesting," Lupin went on in a voice that seemed far away, "to go through life thinking that your best friend killed your other two friends, and then to find out that everything you were lead to believe is a lie."
"I'm sorry Mr. Lupin," Ron said cautiously.
"Don't be sorry Ron, there is nothing that can bring them back, and if there is, sorrow is not likely it. James, Lily, and Sirius have one another now, Peter has his dark lord, and I... well I... I have..."
Remus did not say anything else, but sat and stared at his fingertips.
"I'm sorry Ron, I did not mean to go off on a rant like that. Now, you and Harry had a fight, tell me why."
"We fought over Harry's choice of..." Ron paused, not wanting to betray a secret that had be entrusted to him, "Harry's choice of dateable people."
"I know about Draco," Lupin stated bluntly. "Dumbledore informed me. I found it alarming at first, but I shall turn a blind eye towards it for now."
"How can you say that!" Ron exclaimed, his face once again turning a dark red from anger. "He's dating a Death Eater's son. Malfoy could trade Harry in to you-know-who and I wouldn't doubt that happening!"
"Harry knows this, he is not a child anymore Ron, He had faced Voldemort-" Ron shuddered "many times and has come out alive. He knows what is dangerous to him, and if he believes that young Malfoy is not a threat to him, then I follow his judgement soundly."
"But how can you know that for sure? How do you know that Malfoy had changed enough to be good?"
"How do you know that he wasn't good to begin with?"
"He's not bloody Snape!"
"No, he's not Snape," Lupin had become even quieter then before, his eyes looked as though there was a great pain within him. "But he will become Snape if Harry does not change him enough in the time that had been given to him." (A/N: Oh look, Lupin is Gandalf now! If you got my joke, yea^_^, if not... just ignore my stupid ramblings)
"Excuse me? What is that suppose to mean? Malfoy and Snape are basically the same person. They are rude, callous, and arrogant bastards that will never do anything goo for us!"
"That is not true!" Lupin all but snapped, causing Ron's eyes to widen. "Severus Snape has risked his life working with us in the Order. Yes, he did have the chance originally to join the order instead of Voldemort but it isn't his fault that he turned to Voldemort first! The same choice is now infront of Draco, I hope Harry can save Draco in the way that I couldn't save Severus."
"What!?!" Ron exploded once more. "You and Snape?"
"The past hold many secrets young Weasley, and many ordeals of the past repeat themselves. Do you want Harry and Draco to become like myself and Snape?"
"No, but-"
"Then see past your own differences. Ron, I have become a ghost of the person I was because of the choices we made during our years at Hogwarts and the years after."
"I don't understand how that can be effecting you now," Ron stately rather decisively, "It was such a long time ago, why can't you just let it go?"
Lupin didn't answer at first, he started down once again at his hands. Ron could see that tears were starting to form in the rather stoic man's eyes and he was wondering if he hadn't pushed Lupin a bit to far this time with his questions. True Lupin and Ron were acquainted to some degree, but not to asking questions that were this personal.
"Because sometimes you feel horrible about what you did," Lupin said quietly, "and sometimes you can't apologize to someone because you're too young and proud to say anything, no matter how much you love them. And as the time goes on, it gets worse and worse, and your heart feels like it's going to burst no matter what you say or do."
"So why don't you apologize to him now," Ron timidly asked, feeling a bit uncomfortable talking to Lupin as he reminisced of loves gone by. "I mean, just to get it off your chest."
"Because I'm afraid," Lupin said matter of factually, "that what he will say will break my heart into more pieces then it's already in."
"Why can't you let it go then?" Ron pushed again. "Forget Snape, forget what happened, move on and find someone else before it's too late!"
"It's not that easy Ron, I don't have the choice of regular wizards when it comes to my love life."
"Why not?"
Lupin did not say anything once again, and Ron realized that once more, he had pushed the already distressed werewolf to his limits. Lupin's head snapped up as he heard a creak, and realized that someone had opened the door to the kitchen.
"Because werewolves mate for life Weasley, I'm sure you should have picked that up somewhere during your time at Hogwarts."
No one other then Severus Snape had stepped into the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, and who also had a light red blush on his pale cheeks (A/N: yeah, this is corny and cliché, I know, but learn to live with it!). His normally cold eyes seemed to have regained some warmth to them, and he was staring at Remus in a way that Ron wanted to immediately forget.
"How long have you been standing there Severus?" Remus asked, standing up from where he had been sitting.
"Long enough," Snape answered back.
"Right, thank you for talking to me Mr. Lupin," Ron said, feeling the urge to puke.
"Any time Ron," Remus answered distantly.
Ron pulled his head out of the fireplace and wobbled for a minute until he was able to stand and not feel dizzy. He thanked Hagrid for the use of the fireplace and then darted back up to the school. He hoped he had enough time to find Harry and apologize before something terrible happened.
Meanwhile... back to the scene in which you want to know what's happening
"Is that why you never talked to me," Snape asked Remus, who was visibly trembling where he stood. "You were afraid that I would break your heart even more?"
"Yes," Lupin said in an even voice, trying not to break eye contact. "I don't need anymore things to be broken in my life. I don't think I could take it."
"Then let me apologize first." Snape walked over to Lupin and made him sit down so that he would stop trembling. He then sat down next to him and turned towards him. "I am sorry for ever breaking my promises to you and for ruining your chance at a life with someone else once we had left Hogwarts."
"No, it is not any fault of yours. It was my choice and I have spent my life living with the consequences. None of them are faults due to you, but I accept your apology otherwise." He paused and looked at Severus with blurry eyes. "Would you, or could you, ever consider remembering what it was like twenty years ago."
"Only everyday of my life." Snape responded, and them quickly jumped up and coughed when he heard a pop. "I am here to tell you that Dumbledore requests your appearance at the school."
Behind them, Mrs. Weasley had apparated back from her day out, and was putting shopping bags down on the table. Remus's heart dropped significantly from where it had risen only moments before, and Severus had a confused look in his dark eyes, one torn between angst, hate, and love.
"Tell him I will be there soon," Remus said softly. "Let me walk you to the front door."
They walked out the door silently and then up the long dusty hall. Remus opened the front door to let Snape out, when he took Snape by the hand.
"I am sorry for not being there for you when you needed me the most. I have failed you and betrayed you in the past and I hope I will have the chance to rectify my mistakes."
Snape gave a small smirk/smile and ran his fingers hesitantly down the side of Remus's face.
"Soon." Was all he said before he apparated away.
* * * * * * * *
TBC....
Okay, who loved the completely corny, thrown in for lack of better things, Snape/Remus scene? Probably no body, but that's okay! Probably not going to be much more of it, unless someone requests more of it. So please review!