Part Sixty
Yvonne placed a cup of tea in Karen's hand as she awoke and that little gesture was one of utter bliss which had never happened to her before with all the men in her past. There was a little voice in both of them that was telling them that they didn't deserve such good fortune that the tenderness of the touch of each other gently sealed that invisible critic's lips.The feeling of both of them comforting each other at Karen's flat added an extra dimension in their relationship that both of them knew that the one would be there for each other. This was like no past relationship either of them had had before. It was only now that they had opened their horizons as to what was possible that the 'make do and mend ' approach was accepting second best when there was no need to.
"I suppose you've got to face Lauren sometime," Karen eventually said, saying the words at last that both had been putting off.
"Yeah," sighed Yvonne. "Lauren's not a bleeding teenager anymore. Hell, she had all those years picking up the business after Charlie left everything in a mess, coming to visit me, you name it, she did it and now I'm out, I'm worrying about her. Kids. You never stop worrying about them till……." And Yvonne suddenly put her hands to her eyes to rub the tears away as the final brutality of Ritchie's death hit her. It was like the pain that a hospital patient felt in his left leg even though that leg had been amputated. This pain hadn't caught up with Yvonne by a long way but she didn't pretend to publicly conceal the tears that were streaming down her face in the way she would have done with anyone else, Charlie included.
Karen couldn't think of anything to say that didn't sound futile or pathetic and the best she could do was to gently put her arms round Yvonne and to hold her. There was a strange instinct in Karen that they must get going quickly so that Yvonne could be with Lauren as soon as possible but she fought that back, Cassie and Roisin being still around and being best placed to hold the fort. Karen gently stroked Yvonne's shoulders and continued to comfort her.
"Better face the music," Yvonne said at length, partly to herself, and she caught sight of herself in the mirror.
" I must look a right sight," she added as Yvonne's basic instinct for facing up to a situation took command. "Can I borrow your mirror?" Yvonne asked politely as she reached for her makeup bag.
"You don't need to ask,Yvonne," Karen replied softly. "You can share anything that's here including me."
Karen lay back reclining on her bed while Yvonne busied herself with her makeup, deliberately not hurrying. Karen knew that Yvonne meant to get her appearance just right so that she could feel at her most confident in facing Lauren. From her own parent offspring rows, she knew that you needed all the strength, resilience and ability to get the words just right.
"Do I look all right, Karen?" Yvonne asked.
"You look wonderful enough to go out with anywhere," Karen warmly congratulated her. "And I know that you'll find it in yourself to face Lauren. Come on."
They drove through the busy streets, chatting lightly to each other about anything but the business in hand. Eventually, Karen found herself on the familiar roads that led to Yvonne's house and pulled up in the front drive that, to Karen, was becoming part of her mental furniture. Just today, Karen didn't stay to linger and turned her car round in the direction of her flat which was beginning to feel too quiet on her own with just her.
Yvonne mustered her confidence and was mightily relieved to see Cassie and Roisin come out to meet her first.
"How did it go, Yvonne?" Cassie asked, concern in her eyes. Yvonne's elaborate makeup didn't fool Cassie into believing that Yvonne was as strong as she superficially appeared to be.
"As well as you could expect, Cassie." Yvonne smiled warmly at Cassie's obvious concern. "He looked like the innocent child he was, once." Yvonne replied with something indefinable in her voice.
"We know how you're feeling, Yvonne." Roisin's natural maternal tones soothed her in words that from other people would sound like empty platitudes. Yvonne felt grateful and supported by Cassie who had grown marvellously in strength and maturity since she had first known her and Roisin whose quieter maternal strength was as solid as a rock. She knew with utter certainty that Lauren had been in safe hands.
"Made an appearance at last, mum. Or is it because you feel guilty?" Lauren was dressed all in black, adding a more foreboding appearance as her cold sarcastic tones greeted Yvonne. Only the pain in her eyes betrayed her to everyone but herself.
"Yeah, well, someone had to go to Wormwood Scrubs to identify his body, to do the sort of things Charlie ducked out of doing when both his parents died. I've had to do it all, Lauren, right through all my bleeding life." Yvonne hit back in a cold, matter of fact tone.
"Tell me about it. Remember when you were in Larkhall. Don't forget it was me that was looking after everything that time," Lauren sneered back.
"Which is why I expect you to be more grown up right now, about Karen, about Ritchie about everything. I'm not in the mood to piss about." Yvonne's superficial combative hardness hit back. It was the verbal equivalent of a slap in the face, as a wake up call. Going all soft and apologetic in front of Lauren wasn't going to work.
"If your……..girlfriend…..hadn't come into our lives, Ritchie would still be alive."
"Did you tell Karen that one, Lauren?" Yvonne asked her sharply with an accusing look in her eye.
Eventually Lauren shrugged her shoulders in mute assent and the very ugly silence made the air go chill. It was on the tip of Yvonne's tongue to call her every name under the sun but some instinct held her back that this was not the best thing to do.Yvonne's manner gave off waves of pent up anger that was more threatening than words could have conveyed that even a very hostile Lauren picked up on and felt a little afraid of.
Cassie and Roisin stayed well in the background at this all out war that was blazing between Lauren and Yvonne. They held back, instinctively knowing that it was not their battle, ready though they were to dress the bandages of the wounded afterwards. This wasn't parent child arguments which they were used to but between two very combative adults who fought so violently because they were so alike.
"Look here, Lauren. Blaming Karen is the easy way out. She's the most convenient person to hand who won't hit back at you," Yvonne said with a huge effort of will to be reasonable.
"Won't she? Women are deadlier than men, mum. Don't be naïve," Came back Lauren's hard tones.
"You're right, Lauren," Yvonne smiled, jumping straight in to the opening in Lauren's defence that she had instantly exposed. "Don't forget who organised the pizza delivery for Charlie when he came out of court, remember? Not that I blame you for that as you only did what I would have wanted to do. And who the hell do you think Karen Betts is, Julie Andrews? She's only a Wing Governor of a women's prison and as tough as they come," Yvonne hit back scornfully.
"Yes, well that was different. I didn't want him to walk over you with that fancy tart of his," Lauren grudgingly mumbled in a totally teenage way, for once not talking about Karen.
"Look here, Lauren," Yvonne spoke in a more even gentle tone. "You know well enough that Ritchie was weak. He fell into bad company, the sort of company that he'd never have come across if I hadn't been so proud to be the gangster's moll, so much of an Atkins. But Ritchie had to take the blame for what he did. He let himself be used and scammed fifty grand off us, off all your hard work. He was guilty, OK not as guilty as Snowball but guilty enough. If those two had pulled it off, they would have pissed off abroad laughing in our faces, and we would not have heard anything more off them while they would have lived it up in luxury. Why are you trying to make out that Ritchie was some kind of bleeding saint? He was ready enough to stick the knife into Karen in open court when she couldn't answer back. That's Ritchie all over, same as his dad. You don't do things like that, Lauren." Yvonne finished on a tender, urging note.
"Is that what you call being an Atkins, mum?"
"I never was an Atkins, Lauren. I only married one and fooled myself into believing that that was who I should be. And I brought up you and Ritchie to become part of the Atkins family. I'll never lose that guilt for what I did wrong that way. You are more of an Atkins than I ever was or will ever be again.."
"Discovering your values late in life eh, mum?" Lauren said, spitefully. "Along with fancying other women."
"You do not say that in front of my friends in my house, Lauren," Yvonne said in cold tones that sounded like ice cold drops hitting a red hot plate.
"I'm sorry ,Cassie and Roisin," Lauren turned beseechingly with her eyes. "The two of you are great together. It's just my mum, with another woman." Roisin secretly squeezed Cassie's hand as a signal to keep quiet as not saying anything can sometimes be best. Lauren felt total remorse for what she had said. Cassie had always been great company and something of a wiser, older sister and recently, Roisin's natural motherly way was something that the softer side of Lauren reached out to. Last night, the physical presence of both of them next to her was more of a comfort than she could say..
"I can't get my head round this, mum," Lauren said, pressing her hands to her head. With a touch of relief, Yvonne could sense the solid implacable wall of Lauren's anger start to crumble. She had gambled that if she faced Lauren out long enough, sooner or later she would win through.
"You think this is easy for me? All this is new to me too. I don't go round giving women the eye every day, Lauren," Yvonne's light joking tones permeated their way through the hard defensive shield and brought back memories of the jokes that her mum always exchanged with her from when she was little. That was her way of treating her as a grown up from an early age and made her fundamentally stable. Somehow Ritchie did not have their quickness of repartee and was always that bit slower than them.
"But this is one thing that has helped me to realise that it's never too late to change," Yvonne ended in her husky tones rich with heartfelt emotion. "And that is why I want a second chance at life with Karen. You know that you won't have to watch out for me being taken for a ride."
Lauren fell silent, looking at her feet and her hair falling in front of her eyes. This wasn't the tense, violent silence of before but Lauren mulling her way through everything she had said and struggling to make sense of it. Mum had been as straight as a die, she reflected, and had given her the chance to give ground gracefully. The longer the silence lasted, the more something softened to mum in the way she had held back and had respected her silence. When she ever got into an argument with Charlie and she showed any weakness, the bastard just verbally crushed her into the ground. Showing weakness to him only encouraged him to grind her down into total surrender. That was what had made her grow up hard. Mum never used to do that with her.
"How did you find out about me and Karen anyway?" Yvonne asked, steering the conversation to a more neutral topic.
Immediately, Lauren felt more relaxed. This was a direct appeal to her intelligence which she could not find it in her to reject and she warmed to her. Instantly, the adult Lauren clicked into operation.
"If you really want to cover up whom you've slept with, mum, always make your bed to look slept in on one side. I went into your bedroom to borrow your hairspray and noticed that your bed was unmade on both sides, therefore you had spent the night with Karen," Lauren said with a hint of a smile on her face. "The rest was dead easy."
"What a total pillock I was to forget that one. I do my best to bring you up to be sharp witted and this is how you repay me." Yvonne smiled for the first time in what seemed an eternity since she had walked through the front door.
"Do you want a drink, mum? I must make one for you, Cassie and Roisin. I'm sorry I was horrible to both of you. I feel terrible.."
"Don't worry, Lauren. We understand." Roisin's warm tones reassured her. "We remember it took a lot to get Michael and Niamh used to the idea of Cassie. It isn't easy for all sides."
"I'm going to stick to coke today," Lauren joked. "The stuff you drink rather than snort."
"Are you going to go easy on Karen in future?" Yvonne asked uneasily taking her life into her hands.
"Look, mum," Lauren put the bottle of wine down firmly on the table and turned to face her. "You don't get me dressing up as bridesmaid for whatever the hell you may have in mind in the future. Besides, it won't do my street cred any good," Lauren added to soften the blow. "I will promise to be polite to her and to be fair with her. You can't ask for more than that at this stage. I need to think things over. Give me time, mum, please."
"I couldn't ask for more from you, Lauren." Yvonne said in her most tender tones.
Both of them reached forward for the other in the first mother and daughter hug that they had exchanged for ages. Somehow a tentative agreement had been reached. Cassie and Roisin looked fondly and sentimentally on at the two of them acting at last like family.
Back at the flat, Karen busied herself with a bit of spring cleaning to keep her busy to stop herself thinking too much about how Yvonne was getting on. Out of the blue, a thought popped into her mind to phone up Ross to make sure he was all right. When he was at university, she used to accept it calmly that if she didn't hear from Ross, everything was fine, that he was being a typical student, scraping together last minute coursework which periodically interfered with his hectic social life. In recent times, Ross's reckless decision to drop out of uni had enraged all Karen's work ethics. She had had to struggle so bloody hard for what she had achieved from life. She had been a single mum for a lot of the time and had completed a university degree while she was working. There had been a blazing argument between the two of them at which point he had walked out and she had frozen him out of her mind. Ross, himself, was too proud to contact Karen. False pride and weakness were features of Ross's father which had been carried on in Ross despite all her urgings and her own example which ought to make some mark on him for God's sake. On the rare occasions, he did make contact, it was always to cadge money off her and she despaired that he was still without a job, drifting and going nowhere. What had happened between Ritchie and Yvonne drove her to resume contact between the two of them while there was still time. Life, she had been taught, may be shorter than you think.
"Ross," Karen said on the phone. "It's mum here."
"Mum," Ross's voice conveyed all the incredulity that someone out for a stroll in the countryside might think on confronting a red London double decker bus. "You don't normally phone me except to give me a lecture. What've I done?"
"I wanted to check that you are still alive. A natural thing to do. How are you getting on?"
"Nothing brilliant. Daytime television is dead boring what with Trisha and that grey haired guy what's his name, talking to you about all these depressing problems that I'd sooner not know about. Nothing ever happens in my life. One day is just like the next and totally boring and depressing."
"There are worse things in life, Ross," Karen said, remembering the fire, nearly having her brains blown out by a homicidal fake American porn star, spending a gruelling two weeks defending her professional and personal reputation on something more testing than a shallow TV confession show.
"Yeah, so you keep telling me mum. Thanks for the lecture. Can I borrow a tenner off you till I cash my giro. I'm really short of money," Ross said in his wheedling way.
"Just this once, Ross. But giving you money doesn't mean I'm buying your approval of me." Karen said this in a severe tone. "If you stay sitting on your backside, you'll get nowhere in life. I'd like to meet up with you but no tapping me for money. It has to be about something positive."
"So you say, mum," Ross yawned. "Well, bye bye."
It was on the tip of Karen's tongue to ask Ross that, in his extensive television watching, had he seen her on the news but thought better of it. What did her fleeting seconds on the news matter in comparison with Dale Winton's latest mindnumbingly boring effort?
She had done her best.
"Did you have something in mind for the funeral, mum?" Lauren asked politely in level tones, which gladdened Yvonne's heart even though a part of her didn't want to move ahead that quickly. "What about getting Henry, you know Babs husband to do the service. I'm not exactly used to mixing with vicars but I'd be more comfortable with him than anyone if you are, and everyone else is."
"Good idea," said Yvonne approvingly as she reached for the phone.
"Yvonne, I can only say how sorry Henry and I were when we read about the terrible news of Ritchie." Babs's Middle England voice carried all the warmth and sympathy across the inanimate telephone wires.
"Do you think Henry would do the service?" Yvonne asked and when Henry broke in on the conversation assuring her that he would be happy to, Lauren nodded in satisfaction.
"Did you ever hear how you ended up with the name Lauren?" Yvonne said later as they sat together on the sofa.
"Who chose it?"
"Charlie and I were watching this Humphrey Bogart film on the telly," Yvonne explained. "Charlie loved all those gangster films as you would guess but the woman who took the part of his wife, and was his wife in real life, looked cool and tough with a bit of a hard edge. She had real taste. She impressed me at the time. Her name was Lauren Bacall."
"I think you knew what you were doing at the time. That suits me fine." Lauren smiled happily to Yvonne's agreement.
Yvonne placed a cup of tea in Karen's hand as she awoke and that little gesture was one of utter bliss which had never happened to her before with all the men in her past. There was a little voice in both of them that was telling them that they didn't deserve such good fortune that the tenderness of the touch of each other gently sealed that invisible critic's lips.The feeling of both of them comforting each other at Karen's flat added an extra dimension in their relationship that both of them knew that the one would be there for each other. This was like no past relationship either of them had had before. It was only now that they had opened their horizons as to what was possible that the 'make do and mend ' approach was accepting second best when there was no need to.
"I suppose you've got to face Lauren sometime," Karen eventually said, saying the words at last that both had been putting off.
"Yeah," sighed Yvonne. "Lauren's not a bleeding teenager anymore. Hell, she had all those years picking up the business after Charlie left everything in a mess, coming to visit me, you name it, she did it and now I'm out, I'm worrying about her. Kids. You never stop worrying about them till……." And Yvonne suddenly put her hands to her eyes to rub the tears away as the final brutality of Ritchie's death hit her. It was like the pain that a hospital patient felt in his left leg even though that leg had been amputated. This pain hadn't caught up with Yvonne by a long way but she didn't pretend to publicly conceal the tears that were streaming down her face in the way she would have done with anyone else, Charlie included.
Karen couldn't think of anything to say that didn't sound futile or pathetic and the best she could do was to gently put her arms round Yvonne and to hold her. There was a strange instinct in Karen that they must get going quickly so that Yvonne could be with Lauren as soon as possible but she fought that back, Cassie and Roisin being still around and being best placed to hold the fort. Karen gently stroked Yvonne's shoulders and continued to comfort her.
"Better face the music," Yvonne said at length, partly to herself, and she caught sight of herself in the mirror.
" I must look a right sight," she added as Yvonne's basic instinct for facing up to a situation took command. "Can I borrow your mirror?" Yvonne asked politely as she reached for her makeup bag.
"You don't need to ask,Yvonne," Karen replied softly. "You can share anything that's here including me."
Karen lay back reclining on her bed while Yvonne busied herself with her makeup, deliberately not hurrying. Karen knew that Yvonne meant to get her appearance just right so that she could feel at her most confident in facing Lauren. From her own parent offspring rows, she knew that you needed all the strength, resilience and ability to get the words just right.
"Do I look all right, Karen?" Yvonne asked.
"You look wonderful enough to go out with anywhere," Karen warmly congratulated her. "And I know that you'll find it in yourself to face Lauren. Come on."
They drove through the busy streets, chatting lightly to each other about anything but the business in hand. Eventually, Karen found herself on the familiar roads that led to Yvonne's house and pulled up in the front drive that, to Karen, was becoming part of her mental furniture. Just today, Karen didn't stay to linger and turned her car round in the direction of her flat which was beginning to feel too quiet on her own with just her.
Yvonne mustered her confidence and was mightily relieved to see Cassie and Roisin come out to meet her first.
"How did it go, Yvonne?" Cassie asked, concern in her eyes. Yvonne's elaborate makeup didn't fool Cassie into believing that Yvonne was as strong as she superficially appeared to be.
"As well as you could expect, Cassie." Yvonne smiled warmly at Cassie's obvious concern. "He looked like the innocent child he was, once." Yvonne replied with something indefinable in her voice.
"We know how you're feeling, Yvonne." Roisin's natural maternal tones soothed her in words that from other people would sound like empty platitudes. Yvonne felt grateful and supported by Cassie who had grown marvellously in strength and maturity since she had first known her and Roisin whose quieter maternal strength was as solid as a rock. She knew with utter certainty that Lauren had been in safe hands.
"Made an appearance at last, mum. Or is it because you feel guilty?" Lauren was dressed all in black, adding a more foreboding appearance as her cold sarcastic tones greeted Yvonne. Only the pain in her eyes betrayed her to everyone but herself.
"Yeah, well, someone had to go to Wormwood Scrubs to identify his body, to do the sort of things Charlie ducked out of doing when both his parents died. I've had to do it all, Lauren, right through all my bleeding life." Yvonne hit back in a cold, matter of fact tone.
"Tell me about it. Remember when you were in Larkhall. Don't forget it was me that was looking after everything that time," Lauren sneered back.
"Which is why I expect you to be more grown up right now, about Karen, about Ritchie about everything. I'm not in the mood to piss about." Yvonne's superficial combative hardness hit back. It was the verbal equivalent of a slap in the face, as a wake up call. Going all soft and apologetic in front of Lauren wasn't going to work.
"If your……..girlfriend…..hadn't come into our lives, Ritchie would still be alive."
"Did you tell Karen that one, Lauren?" Yvonne asked her sharply with an accusing look in her eye.
Eventually Lauren shrugged her shoulders in mute assent and the very ugly silence made the air go chill. It was on the tip of Yvonne's tongue to call her every name under the sun but some instinct held her back that this was not the best thing to do.Yvonne's manner gave off waves of pent up anger that was more threatening than words could have conveyed that even a very hostile Lauren picked up on and felt a little afraid of.
Cassie and Roisin stayed well in the background at this all out war that was blazing between Lauren and Yvonne. They held back, instinctively knowing that it was not their battle, ready though they were to dress the bandages of the wounded afterwards. This wasn't parent child arguments which they were used to but between two very combative adults who fought so violently because they were so alike.
"Look here, Lauren. Blaming Karen is the easy way out. She's the most convenient person to hand who won't hit back at you," Yvonne said with a huge effort of will to be reasonable.
"Won't she? Women are deadlier than men, mum. Don't be naïve," Came back Lauren's hard tones.
"You're right, Lauren," Yvonne smiled, jumping straight in to the opening in Lauren's defence that she had instantly exposed. "Don't forget who organised the pizza delivery for Charlie when he came out of court, remember? Not that I blame you for that as you only did what I would have wanted to do. And who the hell do you think Karen Betts is, Julie Andrews? She's only a Wing Governor of a women's prison and as tough as they come," Yvonne hit back scornfully.
"Yes, well that was different. I didn't want him to walk over you with that fancy tart of his," Lauren grudgingly mumbled in a totally teenage way, for once not talking about Karen.
"Look here, Lauren," Yvonne spoke in a more even gentle tone. "You know well enough that Ritchie was weak. He fell into bad company, the sort of company that he'd never have come across if I hadn't been so proud to be the gangster's moll, so much of an Atkins. But Ritchie had to take the blame for what he did. He let himself be used and scammed fifty grand off us, off all your hard work. He was guilty, OK not as guilty as Snowball but guilty enough. If those two had pulled it off, they would have pissed off abroad laughing in our faces, and we would not have heard anything more off them while they would have lived it up in luxury. Why are you trying to make out that Ritchie was some kind of bleeding saint? He was ready enough to stick the knife into Karen in open court when she couldn't answer back. That's Ritchie all over, same as his dad. You don't do things like that, Lauren." Yvonne finished on a tender, urging note.
"Is that what you call being an Atkins, mum?"
"I never was an Atkins, Lauren. I only married one and fooled myself into believing that that was who I should be. And I brought up you and Ritchie to become part of the Atkins family. I'll never lose that guilt for what I did wrong that way. You are more of an Atkins than I ever was or will ever be again.."
"Discovering your values late in life eh, mum?" Lauren said, spitefully. "Along with fancying other women."
"You do not say that in front of my friends in my house, Lauren," Yvonne said in cold tones that sounded like ice cold drops hitting a red hot plate.
"I'm sorry ,Cassie and Roisin," Lauren turned beseechingly with her eyes. "The two of you are great together. It's just my mum, with another woman." Roisin secretly squeezed Cassie's hand as a signal to keep quiet as not saying anything can sometimes be best. Lauren felt total remorse for what she had said. Cassie had always been great company and something of a wiser, older sister and recently, Roisin's natural motherly way was something that the softer side of Lauren reached out to. Last night, the physical presence of both of them next to her was more of a comfort than she could say..
"I can't get my head round this, mum," Lauren said, pressing her hands to her head. With a touch of relief, Yvonne could sense the solid implacable wall of Lauren's anger start to crumble. She had gambled that if she faced Lauren out long enough, sooner or later she would win through.
"You think this is easy for me? All this is new to me too. I don't go round giving women the eye every day, Lauren," Yvonne's light joking tones permeated their way through the hard defensive shield and brought back memories of the jokes that her mum always exchanged with her from when she was little. That was her way of treating her as a grown up from an early age and made her fundamentally stable. Somehow Ritchie did not have their quickness of repartee and was always that bit slower than them.
"But this is one thing that has helped me to realise that it's never too late to change," Yvonne ended in her husky tones rich with heartfelt emotion. "And that is why I want a second chance at life with Karen. You know that you won't have to watch out for me being taken for a ride."
Lauren fell silent, looking at her feet and her hair falling in front of her eyes. This wasn't the tense, violent silence of before but Lauren mulling her way through everything she had said and struggling to make sense of it. Mum had been as straight as a die, she reflected, and had given her the chance to give ground gracefully. The longer the silence lasted, the more something softened to mum in the way she had held back and had respected her silence. When she ever got into an argument with Charlie and she showed any weakness, the bastard just verbally crushed her into the ground. Showing weakness to him only encouraged him to grind her down into total surrender. That was what had made her grow up hard. Mum never used to do that with her.
"How did you find out about me and Karen anyway?" Yvonne asked, steering the conversation to a more neutral topic.
Immediately, Lauren felt more relaxed. This was a direct appeal to her intelligence which she could not find it in her to reject and she warmed to her. Instantly, the adult Lauren clicked into operation.
"If you really want to cover up whom you've slept with, mum, always make your bed to look slept in on one side. I went into your bedroom to borrow your hairspray and noticed that your bed was unmade on both sides, therefore you had spent the night with Karen," Lauren said with a hint of a smile on her face. "The rest was dead easy."
"What a total pillock I was to forget that one. I do my best to bring you up to be sharp witted and this is how you repay me." Yvonne smiled for the first time in what seemed an eternity since she had walked through the front door.
"Do you want a drink, mum? I must make one for you, Cassie and Roisin. I'm sorry I was horrible to both of you. I feel terrible.."
"Don't worry, Lauren. We understand." Roisin's warm tones reassured her. "We remember it took a lot to get Michael and Niamh used to the idea of Cassie. It isn't easy for all sides."
"I'm going to stick to coke today," Lauren joked. "The stuff you drink rather than snort."
"Are you going to go easy on Karen in future?" Yvonne asked uneasily taking her life into her hands.
"Look, mum," Lauren put the bottle of wine down firmly on the table and turned to face her. "You don't get me dressing up as bridesmaid for whatever the hell you may have in mind in the future. Besides, it won't do my street cred any good," Lauren added to soften the blow. "I will promise to be polite to her and to be fair with her. You can't ask for more than that at this stage. I need to think things over. Give me time, mum, please."
"I couldn't ask for more from you, Lauren." Yvonne said in her most tender tones.
Both of them reached forward for the other in the first mother and daughter hug that they had exchanged for ages. Somehow a tentative agreement had been reached. Cassie and Roisin looked fondly and sentimentally on at the two of them acting at last like family.
Back at the flat, Karen busied herself with a bit of spring cleaning to keep her busy to stop herself thinking too much about how Yvonne was getting on. Out of the blue, a thought popped into her mind to phone up Ross to make sure he was all right. When he was at university, she used to accept it calmly that if she didn't hear from Ross, everything was fine, that he was being a typical student, scraping together last minute coursework which periodically interfered with his hectic social life. In recent times, Ross's reckless decision to drop out of uni had enraged all Karen's work ethics. She had had to struggle so bloody hard for what she had achieved from life. She had been a single mum for a lot of the time and had completed a university degree while she was working. There had been a blazing argument between the two of them at which point he had walked out and she had frozen him out of her mind. Ross, himself, was too proud to contact Karen. False pride and weakness were features of Ross's father which had been carried on in Ross despite all her urgings and her own example which ought to make some mark on him for God's sake. On the rare occasions, he did make contact, it was always to cadge money off her and she despaired that he was still without a job, drifting and going nowhere. What had happened between Ritchie and Yvonne drove her to resume contact between the two of them while there was still time. Life, she had been taught, may be shorter than you think.
"Ross," Karen said on the phone. "It's mum here."
"Mum," Ross's voice conveyed all the incredulity that someone out for a stroll in the countryside might think on confronting a red London double decker bus. "You don't normally phone me except to give me a lecture. What've I done?"
"I wanted to check that you are still alive. A natural thing to do. How are you getting on?"
"Nothing brilliant. Daytime television is dead boring what with Trisha and that grey haired guy what's his name, talking to you about all these depressing problems that I'd sooner not know about. Nothing ever happens in my life. One day is just like the next and totally boring and depressing."
"There are worse things in life, Ross," Karen said, remembering the fire, nearly having her brains blown out by a homicidal fake American porn star, spending a gruelling two weeks defending her professional and personal reputation on something more testing than a shallow TV confession show.
"Yeah, so you keep telling me mum. Thanks for the lecture. Can I borrow a tenner off you till I cash my giro. I'm really short of money," Ross said in his wheedling way.
"Just this once, Ross. But giving you money doesn't mean I'm buying your approval of me." Karen said this in a severe tone. "If you stay sitting on your backside, you'll get nowhere in life. I'd like to meet up with you but no tapping me for money. It has to be about something positive."
"So you say, mum," Ross yawned. "Well, bye bye."
It was on the tip of Karen's tongue to ask Ross that, in his extensive television watching, had he seen her on the news but thought better of it. What did her fleeting seconds on the news matter in comparison with Dale Winton's latest mindnumbingly boring effort?
She had done her best.
"Did you have something in mind for the funeral, mum?" Lauren asked politely in level tones, which gladdened Yvonne's heart even though a part of her didn't want to move ahead that quickly. "What about getting Henry, you know Babs husband to do the service. I'm not exactly used to mixing with vicars but I'd be more comfortable with him than anyone if you are, and everyone else is."
"Good idea," said Yvonne approvingly as she reached for the phone.
"Yvonne, I can only say how sorry Henry and I were when we read about the terrible news of Ritchie." Babs's Middle England voice carried all the warmth and sympathy across the inanimate telephone wires.
"Do you think Henry would do the service?" Yvonne asked and when Henry broke in on the conversation assuring her that he would be happy to, Lauren nodded in satisfaction.
"Did you ever hear how you ended up with the name Lauren?" Yvonne said later as they sat together on the sofa.
"Who chose it?"
"Charlie and I were watching this Humphrey Bogart film on the telly," Yvonne explained. "Charlie loved all those gangster films as you would guess but the woman who took the part of his wife, and was his wife in real life, looked cool and tough with a bit of a hard edge. She had real taste. She impressed me at the time. Her name was Lauren Bacall."
"I think you knew what you were doing at the time. That suits me fine." Lauren smiled happily to Yvonne's agreement.