After this evening my life was devoted to the Dark Lord and to him only. I believed... no - at that time I knew that there was no point in fighting this huge, all-consuming power that was taking over everywhere. I knew resistance was bound to result I death or, worse, in renewed torture, and the prospect of having to face the Cruciatus Curse again made me do the things - the terrible things - Lord Voldemort demanded of his followers, without further consideration. It was easy enough.
"There are three spells that give you all the power you need to rule the world," he used to say. "Which is why they are forbidden, of course. People fear them. They give you total control over every human being on this planet." The three Unforgivable Curses... control, pain and death. It did not take much to switch over to Muggles instead of cats and insects. Within a week I had mastered the death curse on a grown man. The other Death Eaters seemed impressed. Voldemort was pleased.
"Florence, I am proud of you," he once said, being in a considerably good mood. "I am proud that a witch of your abilities is among our midst."
"Master," I had replied most respectfully. "Your abilities surpass my own by far. And what I have - everything I have - belongs to you."
Keep talking. Keep flattering. Never say anything which might irritate him. This sole concern dominated my day. One after another. Until, one day, I suddenly realised that tomorrow I would finally get my second chance to fail Potions. Naturally, I had done nothing whatsoever to improve my "non-existent skills", considering the given circumstances, but I did not care.
The exam took place at the beginning of June. Severus did not seem to have put any more effort into the matter, so, to my great surprise, I faced two examiners I already knew: Lucius Malfoy and Rodolphus Lestrange. Naturally, though Severus might not have been very pleased with that, this left me in a very lucky position indeed. Without any difficulties I passed the exam and was packing my belongings along with the other students when I suddenly noticed voices and laughter coming from our common room.
"Done," I heard a very familiar voice. "But don't tell anyone just yet."
I realised that James Potter was gracing Hogwarts with his superior presence again. But who was the person he had addressed? I made my way down from the dormitories towards the common room and listened closely. The second voice spoke.
"Have you seen the match this weekend, by the way? The Sparrows have engaged a couple of new players - mostly people no one has ever heard of."
I entered the common room and saw Peter Pettigrew, one of James's old friends, sitting on one of the armchairs near the fire. The small, fat man with his boyish grin and the pointed nose spotted me at an instant.
"Florence," he said pleasantly, "how come you are still here?"
James, too, looked up in surprise. "Florence! What made you stay?"
I showed them my most tormented expression.
"Had to do another exam," I muttered. "But let's not talk about me. Peter, what are you doing at the moment?"
"An additional exam?" James asked intractably. "Which subject?"
"Potions," I said curtly. "Are you working on 'Ministry business' again, James?"
But James wasn't to be distracted.
"How can it be Potions?" he asked. "You told me Snape was going to give you a passing grade no matter what."
I shrugged. "I don't know what I told you, but the outcome of the exam was very different from what I expected. Mind you - not the outcome. Only the result. Severus didn't even tell me that I'd failed. Let alone that I'd be resitting the entire thing."
I felt blind anger rising inside me again about this inexplicable sudden unfairness but did not dare show it, since neither James nor Peter liked Severus very much. Although I felt much like using certain illegal curses on the latter right now, I realised that it was no good seeking comfort from his former archenemies either. Instead, I sat down opposite Peter and looked into James's eyes who, to my great astonishment, seemed still engaged about the matter of my additional exam.
"Curious," he finally said. "And he hasn't given you a reason?"
"None whatsoever. I don't know what could have happened that made him hate me all of a sudden. I didn't anticipate this. Quite the opposite, in fact, as you had the pleasure of witnessing."
James shook himself. "I'm sorry," he said, "but I suppose I will never be able to grasp what a girl like you wants with someone like Severus Snape."
I shrugged. "I like him the way he is..."
We talked about all sorts of things. James told Peter and me about the war and we were most fascinated about the many things he had heard and seen.
"Lord Voldemort has lost many supporters," he informed us, having me flinch at the name out of habit. "Don't tell me you're one of those who aren't capable of saying his name all of a sudden," he said, looking slightly taken aback. "All that You-know-who nonsense..."
I shook my head quickly.
"Just the shock of hearing it," I told him. "Happens less and less, after all. Please continue."
"It is only now I understand how much law and order means to a civilised community, because we haven't got any law - not to mention order - any longer. So much depends the Order now. Our whole future, I daresay."
"How is Lily by the way?" I asked. "Is she still coming with you? She might want a break from catching V... V... the Dark Lord's supporters."
James grinned at me.
"She is still working," he said. "But Harry's due in a few weeks time now. I've asked Sirius Black to be godfather, by the way."
"Sirius!" I said happily. "What is he doing?"
"Nothing, really," James replied. "He has still not decided what to do with his life. The girls, of course, still love him as much as ever."
I grinned.
"Oh yes. I can imagine. Give him my love if you two happen to meet again, will you? If he remembers me at all."
James nodded. "I bet he does," he said. "Do you remember that evening when he told you about his latest theory on Slytherins being evil by nature?"
"Oh yes," I sighed. "He wanted to prevent me from meeting Severus that night. It was the first time ever something went click between us." I smiled and let my gaze wander over the fireplace and over Peter's round face.
"Between you and Sirius?" James grinned. "I never knew..."
"Very funny," I growled. "Severus, of course."
James laughed.
"I know, I know. Just kidding. I am fully aware that your preference used to lie with certain snivelling Slytherin. I wouldn't go as far as to say it's a waste, but it is certainly is a pity."
"Stop it!" I said sharply, but listening to someone who spoke ill of Severus was strangely satisfying and, if I wanted to be honest, exactly what I needed now. James seemed to have guessed my thoughts.
"You know what it used to be like," he said in an obvious effort to civilise his remarks. "We didn't... get on."
"I know," I said thoughtfully. "Though none of you has ever told me the true reason. Who started it, for example?"
James shook his head. "You hardly find reasons for quarrels like this. There wasn't a source of hatred or anything. Things just got worse and worse with every time we met. Snape seemed to take offence at Sirius' and my skills and... our arrogance. Well, my arrogance, mostly. I suppose I could have been less boastful from time to time." He smiled, making it clear how much he had changed in recent years and pondered about his own words for a while. "Oh, and there were a couple of pranks, of course, as you will certainly remember. I don't think Snape ever got over old Padfoot making a fool of him in front of Professor Holloway... you know - that day when he blew up his cauldron with a bit of silverquain. Snape's always been a bit obsessive about his school work, hasn't he?"
I nodded. "Yes indeed. And those pranks used to really upset him sometimes."
"Well, most of them weren't unprovoked, you know," James replied with a serious look. "He nearly got Sirius and Remus expelled, after all... several times, to be exact. Do you remember the 'Imperio' prank?" I shook my head.
"The Imperius Curse?" I asked. "What happened?"
James gave me a disbelieving look, "You don't even know about that one? It happened during our first year at Hogwarts. Sirius had found a book about the Unforgivable Curses in the library and was eager to test the Imperius Curse on someone. There was nothing in the book about Azkaban or how dangerous those spells really are. None of us had ever heard about them, so Sirius looked around and found... Snape hanging around. Naturally, Madame Pince couldn't fail to notice what he was doing when Severus started doing a step dance on the library table. Sirius was surrounded by a bunch of teachers and brought to Dumbledore's office immediately. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Snape grin and, with a wave of his wand, he let the book disappear. Literally. Sirius couldn't prove that he had really come across a book which mentioned the Imperius Curse later on, because the bloody thing was nowhere to be found. Dumbledore was beside himself. But he believed Sirius. Explained everything about the Unforgivable Curses and gave him - just a warning. Snape couldn't believe it. Of course, he knew that Sirius was innocent, but Sirius hadn't been able to prove it, so he should have been expelled."
I remained silent for a while.
"Interesting," I finally said, clearing my throat. "That explains a great deal. And there was more, you said?"
James nodded silently. Peter gave an uneasy cough, which suddenly reminded me of his presence.
"And what about you?" I asked. "Have you all been friends from the beginning?" He gave a shy smile.
"James and Sirius were," he said. "Almost straight away. Once Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor - against everyone's expectations..." He grinned.
"Well, not against mine," James contradicted. "I'd met him on the train. I knew he was all right, really."
"There's nothing wrong with being a Slytherin," I said sharply.
"Yeah, right," muttered James, but he did not really sound convinced.
"But I met them very soon," Peter continued, breaking the awkward silence that had followed, "and we became friends before the first year was over. Same goes for Remus." I sighed and leaned back.
"Friends for a lifetime," I said. "Not this unbalanced, shady kind of people - like Severus. Though they can be really nice, once you get to know them, as I said."
"Oh, I don't doubt it," James replied, but the sound of his voice, again, told me something different.
"By the way," I said, "did you all have these peculiar nicknames?" James laughed.
"Naturally," he said. "But please don't ask for a reason this time. It is a secret."
"I am not interested," I grinned. "But what was yours, Peter? I don't think I ever heard anyone call you."
"Wormtail," Peter said with a clumsy smile. "I am Wormtail." I stared into his eyes and did some very deep thinking.
"I've heard that before," I said. "But where?"
"I can't imagine," Peter replied. "Hardly anyone calls me Wormtail nowadays." I nodded thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose I must have heard it before," I said. "When you where still at Hogwarts. After all, I know that James was called... Prongs, right?"
James nodded.
"And Sirius was Padfoot, and Remus was... don't tell me... Moony. Remus was Moony." James grinned again.
"An extraordinary achievement," he said. "You can finally pronounce them intelligibly."
I gave him a blank stare.
"Don't tell me you don't remember," he said in a mocking tone. "I had to repeat them over and over again so that you could memorise them - that night in Hogsmeade...?"
I was confused. "Oh, really?"
Peter laughed.
"Somewhat insulting that you can't remember," said James, now grinning as well. "We spent half an hour with it - at least. You were pretty drunk."
I shrugged. "I am sorry," I said. "But I really can't remember a thing." With an apologetic grin I leaned back into my seat. "I was going to ask you about it anyway. Because I really have no clue what happened that evening. It... uhm... seems to have ended rather early?"
James nodded. I suppose it did," he said, "but quite honestly, I can't remember either. I was at least as drunk as you by the end of it."
"Oh," I muttered, "that's a pity." James nodded.
"I suppose we just fell asleep and were brought back to the castle by some bad-tempered watchman."
"Or teacher," I added with a concerned expression, "because I still can't help thinking that Severus's behaviour might have been caused by something that happened that night."
James laughed. "Tell me if you ever find out," he said, "It's probably to do with me, or he wouldn't have lost it so totally..."
I silenced him with a look. He, however, looked suddenly worried and started shifting uncomfortably in his chair.
"Florence," he said slowly, "What if..."
"What if it had something to do with you?" I said and blushed. "You don't mean to say..."
He shrugged. "And if?"
"Then I... I could understand him," I said. "Fully, in fact."
"But... this is absurd," James said quickly. "We can't... we wouldn't..."
"For my part," I said, "anything could have happened. I can't remember a thing. And nor can you, right?"
"Right," James said, "but still..."
There was a very unpleasant silence.
"What now?" I said after a while.
"Go and find out!" he replied. "Ask him."
"FORGET IT!"
I fully regained consciousness within seconds. "I'll leave that to you if you don't mind."
"Not at all," James said sarcastically. "Snivellus, old friend, I have been dating your girlfriend the other night. Do you mind at all? I swear nothing happened... though... I can't, really. Because I can't remember a thing. How's that?"
I shrugged. "Severus, are you mad at me because I betrayed you with James Potter of all people? If so, please tell me, because I've temporarily lost my memory and can't quite recall the incident. That's not better, is it? I suppose we'll have to rule that out."
We considered the matter for a while. Then, suddenly, an image came into my mind. A shimmering bowl in the darkness of a deserted room on Severus's desk. A bowl, filled with a silvery substance. The substance I was looking for. I slammed my hand down at the table. That man had a Pensieve, had he not? And he would have stored his memories of me in it. To rid his head of it. My eyes widened and I jumped up.
"I have to go," I said hastily. "Got an idea. Been nice meeting you again. Bye, Peter. See you, James." And with this I left the common room and ran towards the staircase leading to the dungeons.
Every sensible human being on this planet locks his or her property in a safe place where no one can find it. Severus Snape, however, has always been rather conceited about the spells he uses to seal his office and his private chambers. His belongings were therefore more likely to be spread all over the floor of his living-room than on any shelf or drawer.
Being, of course, familiar with Severus's habits I knew that at this time of the day he was most likely to stand in his office to either brew an existing potion or invent a new one. I had consequently no difficulties whatsoever entering his private domicile, since Count Dracule had very clearly not been informed about our separation.
"Good day to you, Florence," he greeted me cheerfully. "What a pleasant surprise. I haven't seen you for weeks."
I nodded. "Been busy," I replied. "Do you think... Could I come in just for a few minutes? Severus knows I'm here, of course."
He grinned. "Going to play a little prank on him, are you? Well, I know whom I can trust, naturally." And without further delay he swung aside so that I could enter Severus's gloomy living room.
"Lumos," I whispered, but that was hardly necessary. I had immediately spotted the shimmering white bowl standing on Severus's desk, which contained his thoughts and, probably, a large part of his memory. I reached it in a few steps and peered in.
Suddenly, without a warning, the sallow face of the Dark Lord appeared right in front of me, glaring in a most menacing way, so that I let go of the Pensieve and jumped backwards. I hit against Severus's desk with a loud thump, fell, and let out a yelp of pain. It was only then I realised how ridiculous this sort of behaviour was. He was just a memory, after all. Cursing silently I got up again, rubbing my ankle before picking up the Pensieve and staring into the glittering liquid once more. Good thing this kind of glass was unbreakable.
The Dark Lord spoke. "Crucio!"
I struggled with all my power against my first reaction to close my eyes and run. Instead, I watched a tiny Severus lying on the floor, doubling up with pain and screaming in a way I had never heard him scream before. I wanted to extend my hand and get him out of there, but I knew it would be useless and I knew that touching the liquid inside the Pensieve would be a terrible mistake.
Instead, I extended my wand and began meddling with, or rather stirring in Severus's thoughts. The face of Dumbledore appeared.
"Think about it, Severus," he said. "I could use a talented wizard like you amongst our midst, but I have no need for someone who will stab my back in the end."
I was surprised. Dumbledore had approached him?
"Find Florence," I whispered and continued stirring. "Find James."
The scenery changed at an instant. Music and the lights of a NEWTs party became visible. It was Hogsmeade.
"There he is," I muttered, watching Severus walking towards the lights, muttering to himself, "... must warn Florence... will understand... will have to understand..."
I sighed and felt very warm all of a sudden. He had wanted to warn me. Make me realise what awaited me if I decided to return.
Severus met some of my fellow students but none of them seemed in any fit state of informing him about my whereabouts. Then he met Jenny.
"Florence?" she asked in surprise. "No. I haven't seen her for ages. But I believe she was sitting over there talking to James Potter last time we met."
The expression Severus's face assumed was not a pleasant one.
"Let it not be true," I thought, watching him approach a small sitting area surrounded by red and yellow Chinese laterns. "We cannot have been snogging the second he came back to warn me. We cannot have been that intoxicated."
Severus went round a corner and eyed the sitting area. No one was there. I heaved a sigh of relief. My worst fear had not come true. Our supposition proved to be wrong. So nothing had happened and Severus was indeed nothing but a big jerk? I glanced into the Pensieve again and saw Professor McGonagall walking swiftly towards Severus. She seemed upset and moved her hands in agitation.
"Severus!" she called. "How convenient to see you here. There is a lot of work ahead of us. Do you recall what happened last year?" Severus nodded.
"A bunch of hopelessly drunk students, a couple of pregnant girls..."
"Three, to be exact," McGonagall shrieked. "Well, I won't have it again this year. If I had only been informed about the party being moved to Hogsmeade. I would naturally have given my consent, but now..."
"What are you going to do?" Severus asked, sounding familiarly composed and rational again.
"First of all I am going to rid the toilets of this NEWTs pack who seem to be under the impression that they're enjoying themselves," McGonagall decided. "Will you give me a hand?"
Severus nodded dutifully and followed the Deputy Headmistress towards the row of toilet containers which had been specifically summoned for our party. McGonagall stopped in front of the first door, knocked firmly and yelled, "The party is over! Come out this instant!"
She did not have to wait long. Three students appeared on the doorstep, each holding a bottle of Firewhiskey in their hands. They were giggling.
"Oh, Professor," the oldest babbled. "Spoiling people's fun as usual?"
"Yeah," her friend agreed. "One should think that, after seven years of school, we have a right of celebrating a bit more intensively. We're adults now, you know..."
But Professor McGonagall was not that easy to get rid of.
"Go to bed," she insisted. "And if I run into you one more time tonight, I will turn you into wine casks."
The message was clear. Grumbling, but nevertheless cheerfully the girls took themselves off to Hogwarts.
"You might want to get started at the other side, Severus," McGonagall eventually requested. "And be strict! I won't have a Hogwarts N.E.W.T.s party escalate in such an inexcusable way. It is a scand-"
She was interrupted by Professor Flitwick floating through the open door of one of the lavatories, who looked rather blissful, though clearly under the influence of more than just Firewhiskey.
"Too much dope," he hummed. "Too much Billywig. This stuff is extraordinary, believe me, Min-" He stopped and stared at McGonagall's livid expression. "Sorry," he muttered, "Sorry, I... I'll be off then." And with this he drifted towards the remaining festivities as quickly as he possibly could. Professor McGonagall, on the other hand, looked murderous.
"Is there anyone else in there?" she shrieked, sticking her head through the open door of the container-like building. "Another member of the staff perhaps? Show yourselves!"
"Yes, yes, just give me a moment," a voice from the inside announced and I held my breath. It was James's.
Apparently, Professor McGonagall had made the same discovery.
"Is that you, James?" she managed to say before losing it completely. "Oh, you can't be serious!"
The door flung open and an utterly drunk James Potter came into sight. He had difficulties keeping himself upright and only managed to do so by grabbing the doorknob firmly while trying to shut his flies again. Behind James I saw the outline of a female student sitting on top of the toilet lid and it was only after a moment of horror and disbelief that I was ready to believe that this person was, in fact, me. I was hardly wearing anything and trying to hide from the Professors' view, holding a black piece of cloth before me. My robes.
Behind Professor McGonagall I saw Severus's eyes widen in disbelief and narrow again almost instantly, assuming a strange gleam of surprise and disgust at the same time. He had recognised me.
My inebriated self stared at Professor McGonagall, eventually producing a graceless giggle.
"'ofessor McGonnagonall... what..." My eyes met Severus's. "Sevvy...!" I was most blatantly not aware of my doings. "Wha' you doinnngere...?"
Looking at this scene from a different angle, I noticed, was extremely absurd, since even now I could not recall a single moment of what was happening here. It was as though nothing like this had ever happened to me.
"I figured this was a peaceful evening involving nothing but a few drinks," I muttered at a non-existent Severus and continued gazing into the glittering fluid of his Pensieve. I saw the Severus inside turn around on his heels and walk towards the street leading up to the castle without another word. McGonagall, on the other hand, did not seem capable of tearing herself away from the sight she was facing and continued staring at James who stared back in obvious confusion.
"'rofessor," he finally said, "We dinnt do a-anything. Ssssirius dinnnt know... just wanted to see... Remusss can concanconf... confff..."
"You are drunk. Tut!" McGonagall scolded. "And so thoroughly. You will probably not be remembering a thing tomorrow morning. Go to bed! Same for you, Miss Dyker, I am very disappointed in you." She gave me a sharp look. "What a disgrace."
I saw the Pensieve-Florence trying to get up. In vain, "'rofessor, I..." and with this collapsing in front of her Head of House.
"How on earth could you take it this far?" McGonagall muttered. "And right under Severus's nose." She took out her wand, lifted me into the air and finally brought me back to Hogwarts, using the same way Severus and James had taken.
The surroundings faded and swift steps brought me back into reality. The door flung open and I had just enough time to put the Pensieve down before a powerful curse slammed me against the wall and put me in a stiff headlock so that a number of vials and tubes fell down and burst into a thousand pieces.
"Severus, listen to me..." I gasped, trying to get rid of the huge invisible hand clutching my throat. "I can explain..." The grip fastened. I coughed.
"You!" Severus snarled, not bothering to lower his wand. "I should have known!"
I could not reply. I could not breathe. My hand made a weak attempt to grab the invisible hand holding me, but soon everything around me began to spin and I noticed my limbs twitching uncontrollably before I fell into a deep, satisfying darkness.
I was not unconscious for very long.
When I heard voices again I was still lying on the floor of Severus's living-room, which seemed to revolve around my pounding head.
"You almost killed her," I heard Dumbledore's reproachful voice. "Is that what you call self-control?" Severus did not seem to know what to reply and I opened my eyes to see his face. Both, Severus and Dumbledore, were directing their wands at me, the latter looking more serious than I had ever seen him. I gave them a puzzled look, "Professor Dumble-"
"Florence, I must take you into custody," Dumbledore said calmly. "You are working for Lord Voldemort." (I flinched at the unpleasant name, but Dumbledore chose to ignore it.) "You have," he continued, "made use of the Unforgivable Curses and watched other wizards and witches do so without reporting it to me or the Ministry of Magic." I was lost for words. Severus was handing me over? What an absurd thought.
"Did he tell you?" I asked weakly, pointing at Severus. Dumbledore remained silent.
"I must talk to you," I said finally turning away from him and towards Severus. "I have to explain what happened... at the N.E.W.T.s party."
"I can do without!" Severus snapped. "There is no need to talk."
"Yes, there is," I stammered. "You don't know what happened. You... you haven't seen everything!" Severus gave me a murderous look, turned and left the room.
"Severus!" I howled. "Come back! Let me at least try to explain it!" I did not care what Dumbledore might think. I did not care what Mr. Crouch might think, who was entering the room at this very moment, holding his wand like a sword. I leapt to my feet and tried to follow Severus, which gave the arriving Minister a completely false idea. He grabbed the collar of my robes and pulled me back.
"Another attempt like that and we will have no choice but to use a Stunning Spell," he growled. "Are you going to put up resistance or will you come quietly?"
"SEVERUS!" I yelled into the corridor, the echo magnified the sound multiple times. "Come back! I am sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!" An impulsive sob followed and I realised that it was my own. Tears filled my eyes and I felt that I had no longer the strength to fight them. Dumbledore grabbed my arm with an unexpected gentleness.
"Did you hear what the Minister said, Florence?" he muttered. "I strongly recommend you to obey. For your own good."
I stared at him in fear and alarm. "He mustn't leave me," I whispered. "I didn't mean to... would never have... all I ever wanted was... him."
An strange gleam of recognition suddenly appeared in Dumbledore's eyes and his grip fastened. He looked as though he was about to say something, but Crouch was quicker.
"Leave her to me, Dumbledore," he said. "I have two men upstairs who can take her to Azkaban. Dumbledore hesitated for a brief second. "Very well," he said finally. "I suppose someone should keep an eye on Severus now."