Part Seventy Four
"How many prison officers does it take to change a lightbulb?" Lauren asked her audience as both Michael and Niamh had collared Auntie Lauren on her rare visit to Cassie and Roisin's house. Get her being children's favourite, she thought to herself, after a hard day at work looking after the family business.
Niamh screwed up her eyes in concentration, knowing that this was a trick question. She liked Lauren who was fun to be around and a change of company from Mum and Cassie who she loved dearly but were parents and you know what parents are like. Michael was older and he couldn't decide between one and two.
"Give up kids," Lauren smirked with grown up superiority. Both heads nodded.
"It takes one to change the bulb and six more to kick the ……I mean kick it to pieces… when they found out that it didn't work."
Both children rolled round in laughter at this unexpected twist. It was the way she told the jokes that made them come to life. Lauren reflected to herself that she might make a good stand up comedian.
"Tell me what you were going to say, Auntie Lauren," Niamh's gleeful voice interrogated Lauren, noticing the shift in the gagline.
"That would mean telling you a rude word and I oughtn't to do that," Lauren blushed slightly, wondering how in hell she happened to talk like a prudish grown up. It wasn't as if those who worked for her didn't feel the lash of her sharp tongue.If her friends ever heard how she spoke like that, she would lose all street credibility, and the name of Atkins would not protect her.
"But Cassie does that all the time, especially when she thinks that we're not listening." Don't you, Cassie?" Added a grinning Niamh, as Cassie came upstairs into the bedroom which was nicely cluttered with toys, the odd T shirt flung on the floor.
"Whatever the kids are saying about me, it's not true. I would never dare do such a thing." Cassie jokingly covered up her tendency to swear at the wrong moment. She had, she thought proudly to herself, managed to refrain from uttering the word 'nobbing.' With Niamh's naturally inquisitive mind which insisted on asking the word 'why', she knew for certain that she would be reduced to blushing silence.
"Anyway, you two, you'd better tidy up your bedrooms or you're dead meat." Cassie gave orders in her effective joking fashion, neatly switched the topic of conversation as she had learned to do in a crash course of parenting. She noticed the slight smirk on Niamh's face as they tidied everything away for the night.
Cassie smiled to herself at the way Lauren got off her reserved armchair to sprawl all over the floor with the draft board between her and Michael on the thick pile carpet and a little childhood intensity of feeling came back to her mind when her black counters battled for supremacy on the checker board with Michael's flat round white ones. She always chose the black counters.She wasn't aware of it but it subconsciously reminded her of when she was little and she used to play against Ritchie. However, though she was younger, she could beat Ritchie every time and he would go off in a sulk to mummy and accuse her of cheating. At this moment, she suppressed out of sight and out of feel all memories of Ritchie, childhood included. Her feelings of how he ended his life were still far too raw and painful to let her thoughts take her to anything that would lead her to that traumatic event. When she played with Michael, she deliberately underplayed her very rusty style down to Michael's level. The feel of the thick carpet on her body was very comforting and reassuring.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help you out on your Maths homework, Michael." Lauren said apologetically. That wasn't her best subject at school and, true to form in the family, if the matter basically didn't interest her, she wouldn't bother to pursue it. On the other hand, if something grabbed her attention and interest, she followed the matter through to the bitter end. She had always been like that.
"Never mind, auntie Lauren," Michael kindly replied. "You're really good at drafts."
Lauren smiled wholeheartedly. There was something that playing with Roisin's children that was a welcome distraction in her life, something totally opposite to what her daytime, worktime concerns were leading her and the children brought out a side of Lauren which she did not know that she possessed.
The rest of the evening was nice and comfortably domesticated. Lauren liked coming over to see Cassie and Roisin as the place had a nice lived in feeling. Roisin looked sideways at seeing Lauren comfortably resting in the armchair and was glad that the sociable friendly Lauren was a million times more relaxed than the Lauren who had poured down such a huge amount of alcohol into herself to blot out the pain of losing her brother. Ugly memories surfaced of the way that Lauren took out her pain and hurt on Karen and tried her very determined best to shut her from out of her life. The very words, uttered with all the fury that only a female Atkins could summon up, seemed bent on wiping out Karen as much as a real weapon would do. Somehow, she had achieved a balance of sorts in her life but she wondered how much of it was skin deep.
"Mummy, I got top marks about the story I did for English the other day, you know about the time you rescued that man in the fire," Niamh rushed over to Roisin with her exercise book in her hand. At the bottom of the page, in red ink was the teacher's scrawled comment of 'excellent' and 9.5.
"No one gets ten out of ten, mummy," The child explained to her, showing graphic drawings of Cassie and Roisin with blackened faces with very lurid flames and cotton wool smoke in the background. Cassie grinned at the sight of the trolley seeing a pair of oversized big feet sticking up in the air.
"That looks like Grayling all right. And he did plonk his big feet everywhere all over Larkhall."
"At least he got us a free pardon so we could get the children back," Roisin said.
"All the others were really jealous that they hadn't got anything nearly as exciting to write about," Niamh chattered away excitedly, plonking herself on Roisin's lap.
"Hey, Niamh. You've got my face a bit wrong. I'm better looking than that."
"What, after going through a wall of flames," Roisin said laughing. "They wouldn't use us right then to pose for OK Magazine. My face was raw all over that it hurt me to kiss you."
Lauren marvelled at the way that this family was entirely open and natural with each other. There were no skeletons in the closet, no grand unmentionables that everyone skated their way past, no pretences of any kind which was something Cassie had brought to them all..
"At least something good came out of our time at Larkhall," Cassie said soberly and thoughtfully.
"Come on, it's bedtime," She called out and the children trailed after her to wash their faces, brush their teeth and to be settled down for the night for as long as they could stretch the routine out.
"I hope you're looking after yourself properly, these days, Lauren," Roisin asked the younger woman in a slightly maternal tone which Lauren found comforting, not an intrusion. It came over naturally and not as some everyday insincere platitude as they sat together on the settee and chatted. "We're sorry we haven't been in touch but you know that we've been busy since the children came back from Aiden's. We have to make sure that he hadn't tried to fill up their heads with all sorts of hurtful lies and deceits."
"You're all right, Roisin," Lauren said reassuringly. "I've been fine. I know that I had lost the plot since…after the trial ended," and Roisin picked up on the way that Lauren shied away from any mention of the suicide."It took a mixture of mum giving me an earbending and me working a few things out for myself. But, as they say," Lauren added briskly, "You have to move on. I've got more than enough to do to keep myself busy at work. If anything, I'm been working too hard recently and coming over today is a welcome break for me."
"The front door is always open to you, Lauren," Roisin said warmly. There was something about her that naturally blended into their lives and not just because she made a surprisingly good childminder which she hadn't known before. "And it is closed to Aiden and his perfect mother unless there is a good reason to let them in."
"Talking about being welcome, Roisin," Lauren said hastily. "I'll never forget the night you and Cassie looked after me that night that…it all happened. I really can't remember too much of what happened that night. I know I was a right cow to Karen but I remember Cassie holding onto me while I cried my eyes out. I needed it right then. Next thing I knew was having both of you next to me in bed. It would have seemed cold and empty on my own and I really don't think that I could have dealt with that one."
"It took me back to when I grew up in Ireland," Came the answer. "It was a two up and two down terraced house in Southern Ireland. My parents were poor then and the house was cold. I used to share my bedroom with my sister and I can remember if one or the other of us were cold or upset, we used to share a bed. Not that I made a habit of it, Lauren as she would grab the blankets and I'd wake up frozen stiff with the blankets her side. Selfish cow," Roisin added laughing, indicating that their relationship was warm and close. "She still lives in Ireland and I don't see as much of her as I would like to but she's got children and so have I, Lauren. One thing I won't forget is the way she stood by me when Cassie and I got together."
"Tell me about it," Lauren asked with interest.
"Well, as you might expect, I look and sound like a very traditional and respectable Irishwoman , with a 'successful marriage' and a good job in England. She was taken by surprise and shocked when the news broke when I had been sentenced to prison but she waited till I got released and we talked it over, the way we had done with everything."
"And she accepted everything, that you are a …lesbian, everything," Lauren said with wonder. In her version of a straight up and down, equally traditional Eastend family, it had taken so much to get it through her head about mum and Karen. It wasn't as if the Atkins family observed the niceties of social conventions in the illegalities that their family fortunes were based on. Yvonne was hardly disgusted of Tonbridge Wells.
"We've always been close," Roisin said dreamily. "Even though we're physically miles apart."
There was a thoughtful silence in which the imperceptible quiet household noises and the dim light created the perfect restful environment that she needed right now.It wasn't the painful silence begging someone, anyone to fill the gap but just pleasant and companionable.
"Don't you ever get worried that Cassie would go off with another woman. She likes flaunting it." Lauren's voice broke in from nowhere from a passing thought that somehow broke the surface.
"Cassie likes to give the impression that she would shag any woman wearing a short skirt and packing a pulse rate but it's all show," laughed Roisin. "She would hate to admit it that but it's true. I wasn't seriously worried, not even when we were playing spin the bottle and she was giving you an introduction on what it is like to kiss another woman. You were enjoying it," Roisin said with a raised eyebrow.
"It was a laugh and I was pissed," Lauren laughed lightly being not exactly certain what she was laughing about. She had always been up for a party, just like mum, even though this was something different. Her instinct was always to go with the flow..
At that point, Cassie tiptoed down the stairs instinctively so as not to disturb the children.
It was unnecessary in a way but she had picked up this habit off Roisin who, in turn, had done this since her children were babies and there was a desperate need to grab a few hours of adult company at a time when she thought she loved Aiden.
"I was just telling Lauren how irresistible you are to women," Roisin called out to Cassie.
"Aren't I just?" Cassie smiled smugly to herself. "You ought to try it some time but I guess you're looking for Mr Right," She finished jokingly but thought that in reality that Lauren was another single independent straight woman. She poured out a drink for the other two in her hospitable way and sat down in between Lauren and Roisin.
"I'm trying, sort of," Lauren replied. "but it's not that easy. There's something about me that scares half the men away and the other half are dick brained anyway. It's as if they hear the word Atkins and run off screaming."
"I'm not sure I can advise you about that one as my personal experience is a bit limited as you might imagine. I can only remember hearing my sister Gail going on about how all men are bastards. I had to keep my mouth shut and not tell her the nobbing obvious thing to do about it," Sighed Cassie, remembering past not very happy family memories.
Lauren grinned to herself when she heard Cassie revert to her normal way of talking. She was equally fond of Cassie's daredevil unique personality as she was of Roisin's warm comforting sensitivity. This was a different situation from when Roisin and Cassie came round to Yvonne's very attractive luxuriant lifestyle with no responsibilities when they could let their hair down. Back in the responsible world, a part of them were different people. It was only when the children were in bed that the umbilical chord could be loosened.
They sank back together in the sofa while soft music played at a low volume from a CD that Cassie had stuck on as there was nothing decent on the television apart from some brain dead quiz or a useless soap. It was the ideal time and place for some reflective conversation between three women who were at ease with each other.
"How did you two both manage with the children when you first got out of Larkhall?" Lauren asked out of interest. She sensed that it must have been an upheaval for Niamh and Michael to abruptly lose Roisin for all those months and, after Aiden and his mother had looked after them for Roisin to come back and for Cassie to take their place. Her upbringing up to the children's age was settled in comparison.
"Don't ask," Cassie said, her expression darkening at the memory. "It was bad enough for Roisin to come back from prison and to realise that Aiden had told them all sorts of stories about her."
"It was the way they were both so uneasy with me," Added Roisin. "I could see it in their eyes and the way that they didn't rush forward to greet me the way they used to. Of course, I kicked Aiden out when we got out of prison and that upset them."
"And when I came on the scene, that made things ten times worse for awhile. I tried to be tough bitch mum giving them discipline as you might expect and that was total disaster. I ended up with Roisin taking them on one side while I felt a spare part and a total failure. Of course, I remembered the way my father tried to discipline me and I used to shout back at him and that made me even worse. I remember breaking down crying upstairs and Roisin was the strong one ."
"She had to learn so much so quickly, how to talk at their level, how to win their confidence in her, how to do the million and one things that a mother needed to do, oh yes, and she learnt to clean up sick which you swore you would never do when we were in Larkhall, didn't you Cassie."
She grinned at the memory as she could remember being cuddled up together on that narrow top bunk at Larkhall
"It took longest of all to accept that I wasn't just being 'Roisin's friend' but that, yes, we shared a bed together at night and we were the same as any other Mum and Dad. Weren't we glad when we got past that one? I can still remember the shag we had that night without worrying whether or not there would be two children storming in to break up the show. OK we had to learn to be quiet but it was worth it."Cassie smiled dreamily at the memory of that night of sexual passion in bed with Roisin.
Lauren listened sleepily to the other two women chattering away and it filled in the picture more of how they managed their lives. When she had gone out clubbing with them, or gone to that bar with Cassie, it seemed like months ago, Cassie was that party animal once again. What she had seen tonight was the other side of Cassie and this was interesting to Lauren.
She tried her best to keep up with the gentle flow of conversation but she found her eyelids drooping down more and more over her eyes as the others seemed oblivious of time. Part of that was their ability to make the most of the time that they had. Presently, she looked at her watch. It was a quarter to ten.
"I hope you don't think I'm cheeky but I'm totally knackered. Would it be all right with you if I crash on your sofa for the night. I won't be safe on the road to drive, even with a black coffee inside me. I'll make sure I'm up early as I know the kids will be up for school tomorrow."
Roisin and Cassie assured her that it would be no trouble at all.
"I'm ready to hit the sack. Coming Roisin?"
Lauren shuffled the cushions around, kicked off her shoes and snuggled up on the comfy settee. She looked at the two women as they tiptoed upstairs together looking so right together and it felt good to her not having to break off and head for home in her car. Both Cassie and Roisin looked down on the sleepy ,dark haired woman tenderly as she looked so peaceful.
"How many prison officers does it take to change a lightbulb?" Lauren asked her audience as both Michael and Niamh had collared Auntie Lauren on her rare visit to Cassie and Roisin's house. Get her being children's favourite, she thought to herself, after a hard day at work looking after the family business.
Niamh screwed up her eyes in concentration, knowing that this was a trick question. She liked Lauren who was fun to be around and a change of company from Mum and Cassie who she loved dearly but were parents and you know what parents are like. Michael was older and he couldn't decide between one and two.
"Give up kids," Lauren smirked with grown up superiority. Both heads nodded.
"It takes one to change the bulb and six more to kick the ……I mean kick it to pieces… when they found out that it didn't work."
Both children rolled round in laughter at this unexpected twist. It was the way she told the jokes that made them come to life. Lauren reflected to herself that she might make a good stand up comedian.
"Tell me what you were going to say, Auntie Lauren," Niamh's gleeful voice interrogated Lauren, noticing the shift in the gagline.
"That would mean telling you a rude word and I oughtn't to do that," Lauren blushed slightly, wondering how in hell she happened to talk like a prudish grown up. It wasn't as if those who worked for her didn't feel the lash of her sharp tongue.If her friends ever heard how she spoke like that, she would lose all street credibility, and the name of Atkins would not protect her.
"But Cassie does that all the time, especially when she thinks that we're not listening." Don't you, Cassie?" Added a grinning Niamh, as Cassie came upstairs into the bedroom which was nicely cluttered with toys, the odd T shirt flung on the floor.
"Whatever the kids are saying about me, it's not true. I would never dare do such a thing." Cassie jokingly covered up her tendency to swear at the wrong moment. She had, she thought proudly to herself, managed to refrain from uttering the word 'nobbing.' With Niamh's naturally inquisitive mind which insisted on asking the word 'why', she knew for certain that she would be reduced to blushing silence.
"Anyway, you two, you'd better tidy up your bedrooms or you're dead meat." Cassie gave orders in her effective joking fashion, neatly switched the topic of conversation as she had learned to do in a crash course of parenting. She noticed the slight smirk on Niamh's face as they tidied everything away for the night.
Cassie smiled to herself at the way Lauren got off her reserved armchair to sprawl all over the floor with the draft board between her and Michael on the thick pile carpet and a little childhood intensity of feeling came back to her mind when her black counters battled for supremacy on the checker board with Michael's flat round white ones. She always chose the black counters.She wasn't aware of it but it subconsciously reminded her of when she was little and she used to play against Ritchie. However, though she was younger, she could beat Ritchie every time and he would go off in a sulk to mummy and accuse her of cheating. At this moment, she suppressed out of sight and out of feel all memories of Ritchie, childhood included. Her feelings of how he ended his life were still far too raw and painful to let her thoughts take her to anything that would lead her to that traumatic event. When she played with Michael, she deliberately underplayed her very rusty style down to Michael's level. The feel of the thick carpet on her body was very comforting and reassuring.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help you out on your Maths homework, Michael." Lauren said apologetically. That wasn't her best subject at school and, true to form in the family, if the matter basically didn't interest her, she wouldn't bother to pursue it. On the other hand, if something grabbed her attention and interest, she followed the matter through to the bitter end. She had always been like that.
"Never mind, auntie Lauren," Michael kindly replied. "You're really good at drafts."
Lauren smiled wholeheartedly. There was something that playing with Roisin's children that was a welcome distraction in her life, something totally opposite to what her daytime, worktime concerns were leading her and the children brought out a side of Lauren which she did not know that she possessed.
The rest of the evening was nice and comfortably domesticated. Lauren liked coming over to see Cassie and Roisin as the place had a nice lived in feeling. Roisin looked sideways at seeing Lauren comfortably resting in the armchair and was glad that the sociable friendly Lauren was a million times more relaxed than the Lauren who had poured down such a huge amount of alcohol into herself to blot out the pain of losing her brother. Ugly memories surfaced of the way that Lauren took out her pain and hurt on Karen and tried her very determined best to shut her from out of her life. The very words, uttered with all the fury that only a female Atkins could summon up, seemed bent on wiping out Karen as much as a real weapon would do. Somehow, she had achieved a balance of sorts in her life but she wondered how much of it was skin deep.
"Mummy, I got top marks about the story I did for English the other day, you know about the time you rescued that man in the fire," Niamh rushed over to Roisin with her exercise book in her hand. At the bottom of the page, in red ink was the teacher's scrawled comment of 'excellent' and 9.5.
"No one gets ten out of ten, mummy," The child explained to her, showing graphic drawings of Cassie and Roisin with blackened faces with very lurid flames and cotton wool smoke in the background. Cassie grinned at the sight of the trolley seeing a pair of oversized big feet sticking up in the air.
"That looks like Grayling all right. And he did plonk his big feet everywhere all over Larkhall."
"At least he got us a free pardon so we could get the children back," Roisin said.
"All the others were really jealous that they hadn't got anything nearly as exciting to write about," Niamh chattered away excitedly, plonking herself on Roisin's lap.
"Hey, Niamh. You've got my face a bit wrong. I'm better looking than that."
"What, after going through a wall of flames," Roisin said laughing. "They wouldn't use us right then to pose for OK Magazine. My face was raw all over that it hurt me to kiss you."
Lauren marvelled at the way that this family was entirely open and natural with each other. There were no skeletons in the closet, no grand unmentionables that everyone skated their way past, no pretences of any kind which was something Cassie had brought to them all..
"At least something good came out of our time at Larkhall," Cassie said soberly and thoughtfully.
"Come on, it's bedtime," She called out and the children trailed after her to wash their faces, brush their teeth and to be settled down for the night for as long as they could stretch the routine out.
"I hope you're looking after yourself properly, these days, Lauren," Roisin asked the younger woman in a slightly maternal tone which Lauren found comforting, not an intrusion. It came over naturally and not as some everyday insincere platitude as they sat together on the settee and chatted. "We're sorry we haven't been in touch but you know that we've been busy since the children came back from Aiden's. We have to make sure that he hadn't tried to fill up their heads with all sorts of hurtful lies and deceits."
"You're all right, Roisin," Lauren said reassuringly. "I've been fine. I know that I had lost the plot since…after the trial ended," and Roisin picked up on the way that Lauren shied away from any mention of the suicide."It took a mixture of mum giving me an earbending and me working a few things out for myself. But, as they say," Lauren added briskly, "You have to move on. I've got more than enough to do to keep myself busy at work. If anything, I'm been working too hard recently and coming over today is a welcome break for me."
"The front door is always open to you, Lauren," Roisin said warmly. There was something about her that naturally blended into their lives and not just because she made a surprisingly good childminder which she hadn't known before. "And it is closed to Aiden and his perfect mother unless there is a good reason to let them in."
"Talking about being welcome, Roisin," Lauren said hastily. "I'll never forget the night you and Cassie looked after me that night that…it all happened. I really can't remember too much of what happened that night. I know I was a right cow to Karen but I remember Cassie holding onto me while I cried my eyes out. I needed it right then. Next thing I knew was having both of you next to me in bed. It would have seemed cold and empty on my own and I really don't think that I could have dealt with that one."
"It took me back to when I grew up in Ireland," Came the answer. "It was a two up and two down terraced house in Southern Ireland. My parents were poor then and the house was cold. I used to share my bedroom with my sister and I can remember if one or the other of us were cold or upset, we used to share a bed. Not that I made a habit of it, Lauren as she would grab the blankets and I'd wake up frozen stiff with the blankets her side. Selfish cow," Roisin added laughing, indicating that their relationship was warm and close. "She still lives in Ireland and I don't see as much of her as I would like to but she's got children and so have I, Lauren. One thing I won't forget is the way she stood by me when Cassie and I got together."
"Tell me about it," Lauren asked with interest.
"Well, as you might expect, I look and sound like a very traditional and respectable Irishwoman , with a 'successful marriage' and a good job in England. She was taken by surprise and shocked when the news broke when I had been sentenced to prison but she waited till I got released and we talked it over, the way we had done with everything."
"And she accepted everything, that you are a …lesbian, everything," Lauren said with wonder. In her version of a straight up and down, equally traditional Eastend family, it had taken so much to get it through her head about mum and Karen. It wasn't as if the Atkins family observed the niceties of social conventions in the illegalities that their family fortunes were based on. Yvonne was hardly disgusted of Tonbridge Wells.
"We've always been close," Roisin said dreamily. "Even though we're physically miles apart."
There was a thoughtful silence in which the imperceptible quiet household noises and the dim light created the perfect restful environment that she needed right now.It wasn't the painful silence begging someone, anyone to fill the gap but just pleasant and companionable.
"Don't you ever get worried that Cassie would go off with another woman. She likes flaunting it." Lauren's voice broke in from nowhere from a passing thought that somehow broke the surface.
"Cassie likes to give the impression that she would shag any woman wearing a short skirt and packing a pulse rate but it's all show," laughed Roisin. "She would hate to admit it that but it's true. I wasn't seriously worried, not even when we were playing spin the bottle and she was giving you an introduction on what it is like to kiss another woman. You were enjoying it," Roisin said with a raised eyebrow.
"It was a laugh and I was pissed," Lauren laughed lightly being not exactly certain what she was laughing about. She had always been up for a party, just like mum, even though this was something different. Her instinct was always to go with the flow..
At that point, Cassie tiptoed down the stairs instinctively so as not to disturb the children.
It was unnecessary in a way but she had picked up this habit off Roisin who, in turn, had done this since her children were babies and there was a desperate need to grab a few hours of adult company at a time when she thought she loved Aiden.
"I was just telling Lauren how irresistible you are to women," Roisin called out to Cassie.
"Aren't I just?" Cassie smiled smugly to herself. "You ought to try it some time but I guess you're looking for Mr Right," She finished jokingly but thought that in reality that Lauren was another single independent straight woman. She poured out a drink for the other two in her hospitable way and sat down in between Lauren and Roisin.
"I'm trying, sort of," Lauren replied. "but it's not that easy. There's something about me that scares half the men away and the other half are dick brained anyway. It's as if they hear the word Atkins and run off screaming."
"I'm not sure I can advise you about that one as my personal experience is a bit limited as you might imagine. I can only remember hearing my sister Gail going on about how all men are bastards. I had to keep my mouth shut and not tell her the nobbing obvious thing to do about it," Sighed Cassie, remembering past not very happy family memories.
Lauren grinned to herself when she heard Cassie revert to her normal way of talking. She was equally fond of Cassie's daredevil unique personality as she was of Roisin's warm comforting sensitivity. This was a different situation from when Roisin and Cassie came round to Yvonne's very attractive luxuriant lifestyle with no responsibilities when they could let their hair down. Back in the responsible world, a part of them were different people. It was only when the children were in bed that the umbilical chord could be loosened.
They sank back together in the sofa while soft music played at a low volume from a CD that Cassie had stuck on as there was nothing decent on the television apart from some brain dead quiz or a useless soap. It was the ideal time and place for some reflective conversation between three women who were at ease with each other.
"How did you two both manage with the children when you first got out of Larkhall?" Lauren asked out of interest. She sensed that it must have been an upheaval for Niamh and Michael to abruptly lose Roisin for all those months and, after Aiden and his mother had looked after them for Roisin to come back and for Cassie to take their place. Her upbringing up to the children's age was settled in comparison.
"Don't ask," Cassie said, her expression darkening at the memory. "It was bad enough for Roisin to come back from prison and to realise that Aiden had told them all sorts of stories about her."
"It was the way they were both so uneasy with me," Added Roisin. "I could see it in their eyes and the way that they didn't rush forward to greet me the way they used to. Of course, I kicked Aiden out when we got out of prison and that upset them."
"And when I came on the scene, that made things ten times worse for awhile. I tried to be tough bitch mum giving them discipline as you might expect and that was total disaster. I ended up with Roisin taking them on one side while I felt a spare part and a total failure. Of course, I remembered the way my father tried to discipline me and I used to shout back at him and that made me even worse. I remember breaking down crying upstairs and Roisin was the strong one ."
"She had to learn so much so quickly, how to talk at their level, how to win their confidence in her, how to do the million and one things that a mother needed to do, oh yes, and she learnt to clean up sick which you swore you would never do when we were in Larkhall, didn't you Cassie."
She grinned at the memory as she could remember being cuddled up together on that narrow top bunk at Larkhall
"It took longest of all to accept that I wasn't just being 'Roisin's friend' but that, yes, we shared a bed together at night and we were the same as any other Mum and Dad. Weren't we glad when we got past that one? I can still remember the shag we had that night without worrying whether or not there would be two children storming in to break up the show. OK we had to learn to be quiet but it was worth it."Cassie smiled dreamily at the memory of that night of sexual passion in bed with Roisin.
Lauren listened sleepily to the other two women chattering away and it filled in the picture more of how they managed their lives. When she had gone out clubbing with them, or gone to that bar with Cassie, it seemed like months ago, Cassie was that party animal once again. What she had seen tonight was the other side of Cassie and this was interesting to Lauren.
She tried her best to keep up with the gentle flow of conversation but she found her eyelids drooping down more and more over her eyes as the others seemed oblivious of time. Part of that was their ability to make the most of the time that they had. Presently, she looked at her watch. It was a quarter to ten.
"I hope you don't think I'm cheeky but I'm totally knackered. Would it be all right with you if I crash on your sofa for the night. I won't be safe on the road to drive, even with a black coffee inside me. I'll make sure I'm up early as I know the kids will be up for school tomorrow."
Roisin and Cassie assured her that it would be no trouble at all.
"I'm ready to hit the sack. Coming Roisin?"
Lauren shuffled the cushions around, kicked off her shoes and snuggled up on the comfy settee. She looked at the two women as they tiptoed upstairs together looking so right together and it felt good to her not having to break off and head for home in her car. Both Cassie and Roisin looked down on the sleepy ,dark haired woman tenderly as she looked so peaceful.