The Best Part of the Job

Author: RoguesKnight

Disclaimer: Spider-Man is not mine. I'd give an arm, leg, hell any vital organ the lawyers at Marvel could want to change that ( some of them have to be smokers...I have 2 lungs guys, I can make due with one, think about it) but for the foreseeable future he's probably going to remain their property. Sony's as well, since this is a movie-verse fic. Just taking him out for a spin. I promise.

Author's note: First ever Spider-Man fic, not going to ask for gentleness people, but just be forewarned, flames will be used to heat my apt this winter...or maybe I'll just have a big ole 4th of July cookout.

Dedication: As always to my wonderful, fiancée who puts up with my myriad of eccentricities...such as running around the apt chanting "Spider-Man 2" over and over. I love you honey. Also to Tobey and Kirsten, though they'll never ( ok...probably never) see this, for their excellent portrayals of Peter and MJ.



The city was a cold, hard, soul killing place, even when weather wise it was a nice, balmy summer evening. There was always something going wrong, a mugging, a bank robbery, gang related violence, something, it never seemed to end, no matter how much time a certain webbed wonder put in putting the bad guys away. Perched atop a skyscraper in downtown Manhattan, Spider-Man breathed a weary sigh, "I didn't ask for this, not for any of it." His gaze turned heavenward, not that he actually expected a response. These days it seemed when people looked towards the skies for help, it was him they were expecting to save the day. "I never once wanted to be hounded by the police, bad mouthed by the press or attacked by thugs on a daily basis. I just wanted to have a happy, normal life." Rising from his crouch, he leapt from the skyscraper, feeling the wind buffet against his mask, and aimed his arm towards a nearby building; pulling his fingers back to release a strand of gossamer webbing as he continued his patrol of the city. Ok he admitted to himself, releasing his line as he swung around a corner and effortlessly firing off another I did want to be someone MJ would notice. And she did notice... He laughed mirthlessly as he continued swinging Man, that old adage of be careful what you wish for was no joke. If I ever find a monkey's paw I'm chucking that sucker into the east river and to hell with the whole littering thing .A slight tingle of his spider- sense caused him to release his web and he sailed a few yards through the air, landing on a billboard and scanning the ground below him for the danger he'd sensed.

It didn't take him long to find it. In the parking lot of a small grocery store a man wearing a pair of panty hose pulled over his face tore a woman who appeared to be in her mid to late thirties away from a dark red mini-van, climbed into the driver's seat and floored it, leaving the stunned woman and tire tracks in his wake. "That's just low buddy. I know the price of milk is ridiculous these days but stealing a woman's groceries? There's got to be a better way." Keeping an eye on the vehicle, Spider-Man tagged the closest building with a web line and swung out in pursuit. The car-jacker wasn't the hardest person in the world to keep track of; he barreled through several intersections against the light, thankfully for once New York traffic was light enough that no one ran into the speeding mini-van. Someone up there must be looking out for me for once Spider-Man thought, as he gained on the vehicle But knowing my luck it's not going to last too much longer, I'd better end this quickly. At the apex of his next swing he released the web and pulled his arms in close to his body, gaining speed as he cut his wind resistance. When he was near enough he extended both arms and tagged the roof of the van with a double burst of webbing and gave a slight tug to finish closing the distance between himself and it. He landed on his hands and feet with a slight thump, but more than enough to get the attention of the criminal behind the wheel, and quickly clambered onto the driver's side of the van, waving at the side view mirror. "Hey pal, would you mind not going so fast? I get car sick real easily," he called out to the driver.

The masked man behind the wheel glanced at the side mirror; did a double take. The sharp buzz of his spider-sense warned Spider-Man of the gun the driver possessed before the punk even had the window down far enough to fire and he slipped back onto the roof, and crept forward until he was just over the driver's side window. Two quick gunshots were followed by a loud curse. Quietly peering over the edge of the roof, Spider-Man could see the car jacker had stuck his head out of the window along with the gun and was quickly glancing to the road before them and back in search of his prey. Here comes the best part of this job Peter thought, smiling beneath his mask The moment of dawning realization on the bad guy's part that he's going down

"And they say driving with a cell phone is a risk," he quipped, drawing the punk's attention upward, "guess it's a shame they don't have hands free gun kits." Almost more quicly than the eye could follow he swung a gloved fist down into the car jacker's face, throwing him out of the driver's seat and into the passenger side door. With no one behind the wheel the mini-van swerved dangerously across lanes of traffic, causing passing cars to turn or stop suddenly to avoid it. In a flash Spider-Man flipped down off the roof and through the open driver's window, sliding easily behind the wheel and bringing the vehicle back under control. "You see, this is why we have seat belt laws in this city," he said to the unconscious criminal slumped against the door. The sudden sharp sound of a baby's cry drew his attention to the back seat of the mini-van where he could see tiny arms waving from a car seat. "You're a real piece of work buddy," he muttered disgustedly to the slumped man, "Of all the cars you had to pick one with a baby in it. Hang on back there pal, Uncle Spider-Man will find a place to park and then we'll get a look at you, make sure you're all right" he said trying to soothe the wailing infant. His luck seemed to be holding out as he spotted an open space near a parking meter that was large enough to fit the mini-van. With the grace of a seasoned New Yorker, Spider-Man pulled the mini-van over and shut it off.

Ignoring the stares of stunned passerby, he calmly climbed out and walked around to the other side, taking a moment to remove the would be car thief and web him securely to the wall of a nearby drugstore before opening the sliding side door and peering in to check on the baby. He was greeted by a wide eyed stare that accentuated the baby's large blue eyes, and tiny arms reaching out curiously to be held. "Oh no," he said lightly, the last thing I need is the Bugle accusing me of being a kidnapper on top of being a car thief." The baby's lower lip began to tremble again just before it let out another ear piercing scream. "Ok, ok, you win" he said, reaching in and unfastening the snaps of the car seat. Sometimes super-human hearing was a real pain in the ass. As carefully as he could, Spider-Man extracted the squirming bundle of baby from the car, being extra careful to make sure it had plenty of head support, one of the few things he knew about baby care. The baby, a girl, he noted by the pink jumper, almost immediately threw up on his costume, partially obscuring the black spider insignia on his chest before settling down. "I guess you get car sick easily too, huh?" he asked the infant in an amused tone of voice, her only response was to stare up at him and stick her thumb into her mouth, sucking on it contentedly.

Moments later a flurry of police cars pulled up, having either been following the wild ride, or summoned by someone with a cell phone. Spider- Man tensed, knowing full well there was no way he could put his hands up at the moment if one of the officers leaving the cars ordered him to and hoped they'd give him a chance to explain before things went downhill real fast. Fortunately no explanation was needed. "Oh, my baby! Is she alright?" a woman practically screamed as she climbed out of the back of one of the cruisers and rushed towards the web-slinger. He recognized her immediately as the woman from the grocery store parking lot and smiled beneath his mask.

"She's just fine ma'am" He said gently handing the baby over to her frantic mother, "A little bit of an upset stomach," he said pointing to his chest and earning a smile from the mother, "but other than that, just fine."

"Thank you Spider-Man. Thank you." She said, smiling and cuddling her daughter against her chest protectively. He nodded silently, and though she couldn't see it, smiled at the scene before flinging a web line at the corner of a nearby apartment building and taking off before the police could finish freeing the car jacker and decide to harass him. Now that he thought, his mood considerably brighter than it had been just a short while before really is the best part of the job