DISCLAIMER: The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-1, the goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of the people who made them up. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

A Snake In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush

Part twenty

Just before six Jack rang the doorbell, quickly followed by an impatient knock on the door - he hadn't even waited for the door chimes to stop ringing before knocking. Receiving no reply, he knocked again, then again a little louder.

Jack was getting worried - he knew he was early, but there weren't any lights on that he could see. He walked around the outside of the house but could see no sign that there was anyone in. Surely Carter would have called him if there had been a problem? Uneasily he returned to the front door, rang and knocked again, then turned the handle, surprised when he found it was unlocked.

Cautiously he entered the dark hallway, wishing he'd brought his gun with him. The next moment his heart flew into his mouth as an eerily glowing figure appeared at the end of the hallway, closely followed by a second, getting closer and closer. He had seen some pretty strange things when they had been off world, but to see what appeared to be ghosts on earth? He rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming, then cautiously took a few steps forward and found something damp and cold straggling over his face. With a yell he jumped backwards, falling over the edge of the rug and landed hard on his back as the two glowing figures landed on top of him with a soft thump, thump. He yelled again, trying to fight them off, then realised he'd been had when he heard a giggle and the light was snapped on.

Glaring for a moment at the faces of his second in command and their latest recruit, he too eventually saw the funny side, joining in the laughter.

'What was that disgusting stuff and whose idea was this?' He said, trying to sound stern and every bit the commanding officer.

'The stuff on your face is spaghetti, sir, and, er, that was my idea. Actually most of it was my idea, although Clare managed to come up with the floating Halloween figures.' Sam owned up. 'Here.' She held out her hand to help her CO up from his inelegant position on the floor, only to be pulled down and have her face rubbed with cold spaghetti.

Clare, moving a little too close to the pair on the floor, found herself joining them where Jack and Sam proceeded to pour spaghetti on her face. Shrieking with laughter and trying to splat each other with the remaining spaghetti, they didn't realise Daniel and Teal'c had arrived until they looked up and saw two pairs of feet and two faces peering down at them.

'Hey, Daniel, Teal'c. Fancy some spaghetti?' Jack greeted them, grinning stupidly.

'Is this some new form of greeting ritual, Daniel Jackson?' Teal'c queried, his face serious. 'I am afraid I do not care for this white, worm-like food. Perhaps we should arrange a delivery from O'Neill's usual supplier?' He raised one eyebrow and proceeded to settle himself in the living room.

Daniel looked like he was about to make a comment then decided better of it when he saw Jack's glare, smiling pityingly at them before he followed Teal'c into the lounge and sat himself down.

The three of them sat still for a moment when a worryingly familiar smell reached them from the kitchen. With a shriek Clare leapt to her feet and headed for the kitchen to check on the soup which had been left warming on the stove, rescuing it just in time before it too ended up in the trash can.

Meanwhile, Jack and Sam were grinning sheepishly at each other before they got up and tidied the mess they had made, then joined Daniel and Teal'c who were both holding drinks by this time. Clare joined them bearing bowls of soup, her face flushed with the heat of the kitchen and the near disaster with the soup. She handed it round, then took a bowl for herself, but Jack interrupted her before she had chance to try it.

'I wouldn't eat that if I were you.'

'Why not?' Clare asked curiously.

'Um, how can I put this,' Jack considered it for a moment before saying bluntly. 'It's terrible, I've never tasted anything so bad in my life.'

Clare took a small sip and pulled a face, hastily grabbing her wine glass and swallowing a couple of mouthfuls to take away the taste.

'I'm sorry, I tried so hard as well,' Clare apologised sheepishly. 'Maybe it's just as well the casserole got burnt. I guess I should leave the cooking to someone else.'

'Yes!'

'That would be wise.'

'Please do.' Came varying agreements from around the room, just as the doorbell rang announcing the arrival of the pizza.

They sat around eating pizza and talking, tongues loosened by alcohol talking about everything under the sun, then the conversation turned to their most recent mission and Clare listened to the others talking.

'You were so funny, Sam,' Daniel slurred his words. 'You looked ready to take on the world and his brother when General Hammond wouldn't let you go back.'

'That's not fair Daniel,' Sam threw a cushion at Daniel, 'I was under the influence of an alien substance.'

'Jacob Carter also informed us you needed to be restrained when you refused to let the nurses change you into a gown,' Teal'c said solemnly. 'He found it somewhat amusing.' Teal'c's mouth turned up slightly at the corners, almost in a smile.'

'What's all this Major?' Jack joined in, 'Sounds like insubordination to me.' It took him several attempts to get that sentence out, struggling to make his mouth say 'insubordination.'

'Hey - is it pick on Sam day today or something?' Sam protested, looking at Clare for some back up from the other woman present. 'Surely you guys must have got up to something as well?'

'Hey - don't look at me, I was pretty much out of it,' Jack held up his hands in defence. 'You'd have to ask Clare about that. Or maybe not…' Jack's voice trailed off as he realised he had hit a nerve.

Clare looked extremely uncomfortable, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

'Clare?' Sam asked gently. Clare looked around at the faces watching her, then her gaze fell on Jack and she shied away from contact with his eyes, not wanting to tell anyone what had happened. After all, Jack was not in control of his actions at the time. Clare stared down at her lap, twisting the wine glass she was holding in agitation. A hand plucked the glass away and set it to one side, before a pair of hands covered her own which she was clenching and unclenching.

She looked up into Jack's face. He was kneeling in front of her and she tried to look away again but Jack freed one of his hands and cupped her chin gently, forcing her to look at him.

'Something happened didn't it?' Jack asked, his voice calming her down. 'Want to tell me?' Jack felt a deep loathing for himself that he could have done something that would cause Clare to be acting like this, needing to know what he had done, to try to make up for it if at all possible. He kept his inner feelings locked away for the time being, focussing on speaking in the same calming voice.

'I felt abandoned, deserted, scared. I had to try and figure out what to do on my own and I just didn't know if we would ever get out of there alive.' Clare's words came tumbling out, the alcohol loosening her tongue. 'But you know what kept me going? I could fight down all the feelings of loneliness and desperation knowing that I had to get you out of there somehow. I had to leave you a couple of times, to fetch water and firewood and to check if the gate was clear. Each time I was shaking with fear, that I would be discovered, but I was the only one who could make sure we both survived. If I'd really been on my own, I don't know…' she struggled to keep the tears away, then continued.

'When I got back after checking the 'gate and that man attacked me, I found you'd smashed the radio and didn't seem to know what was going on.' Clare paused, not knowing if she had the courage to tell the rest of it. Jack squeezed her hands in encouragement.

'It's ok,' he spoke in that same gentle, reassuring voice. 'Carry on, I think I can guess what happened.'

Encouraged, Clare continued, her voice speaking even more quietly now. 'You thought I was some kind of threat, you knocked me out and then you tried to strangle me, you passed out before you succeeded, but I had to tie you up to stop you from hurting yourself.' Jack looked up in surprise at this. There was no blame or worry that he would do anything else to her, just concern that he might hurt himself. He said nothing, though, allowing her to continue, to get it all out of her system. 'But then it looked like no-one was going to come for us, I was so close to giving up, but then help came and I found out they'd never stopped looking for us.'

'I'm really sorry for what I did,' Jack said. 'Why didn't you say anything?' Jack watched Clare's face as she struggled to find the words to answer him.

'I knew it wasn't really you,' Clare said at last, tears starting to fall now. 'I didn't think it was important, I thought maybe it would get you into trouble and it wasn't your fault.' Clare stopped, finding it impossible to talk through the tears.

Jack moved from where he was kneeling and sat beside Clare on the couch. He could see the pain in her eyes as she felt him let go of her hands as though she'd been abandoned again, and he quickly pulled her to him, one hand rubbing her back, the other resting on the back of her head. He glanced at the other three who got the message and moved into the kitchen to allow the two of them some privacy, slightly more sober than they had been before.

'No-one should have to go through what you did on their first mission, especially when they haven't had the level of training the rest of the SG teams have had,' Jack said. 'You came through it better than a lot of new recruits would, and they've been trained to survive.'

'Do you know what kept me going while we were there? Someone was there for me, keeping me comfortable, giving me water, taking care of me. Someone was talking to me, telling me we were going to get out of there safely. Each time I felt the blackness closing in, you were there, making sure I stayed with you. It was you that treated the poison and stopped it from spreading, without that I would have died. Remember, we are your friends, and friends talk to each other when the going gets tough, they help each other through the bad times and enjoy the good times together. Don't you ever forget that.'

After a few minutes he could feel Clare pushing away from him and he stood up, looking at her.

'Are we going to be ok?' He asked, receiving a nod and a weak smile from Clare.

'Where are the others?' Clare suddenly realised they were alone.

'I think they headed out to the kitchen,' Jack said, holding out his hand to help Clare up, leading her out to join the rest of the team. They had put their time to good use it seemed: the dishes had been done and put away and they were sitting around the table with fresh drinks in front of them.

'Anything else to eat?' Daniel enquired, as Clare fetched a bottle of wine from the fridge.

'The human trashcan,' Jack commented.

'Why would DanielJackson wish to be a waste disposal container?' Teal'c asked Jack.

'Remind me about that one tomorrow, I don't think I can find the words tonight.'

'What he means, Teal'c is that…are those home made?' Daniel was sidetracked by the plateful of muffins that had appeared on the table. 'Are they safe?'

'Of course,' Clare tried to look offended but she had finished off another glass of wine and her face didn't seem to want to do what it was told, so she giggled instead. 'I know it's crazy, I can bake but I can't cook.'

Teal'c raised his eyebrows at the way the conversation was going, this seemed to be a human ritual that occurred far too frequently as far as he could tell. They would get together, drink too many alcoholic beverages, behave in a most abnormal manner and then be sick the following day. There just didn't seem to be any sense to it.

'Hey, I've got some board games around her somewhere. Maybe we could play one? I've got just the thing you'll all enjoy.' Clare got to her feet unsteadily and headed for the closet in the hall where they could hear her rummaging around. Presently she returned and placed a box on the table.

'Snakes and Ladders?' Jack looked slightly incredulous, then saw the glint in Clare's eyes, shortly before a heap of screwed up muffin cases were aimed in her direction from the rest of the humans around the table.

'Oh, this bottle seems to have emptied itself - who drank it all? I'll just go and fetch…' Clare pushed her chair back then sat down again abruptly. 'Whoops. Someone moved my chair, I'll try that again.' Her speech was slurred and Jack decided it was time for bed.

'Carter, give me a hand here will you - someone's going to have a major hangover in the morning.'

'Well sir, as it'll all be your fault that should be a Colonel hangover,' Sam, although tipsy, was still enough in control to help Clare upstairs and into bed.

At the top of the stairs Clare stopped abruptly and turned to face Jack who was holding one of her arms. Jabbing him in the chest with her finger to make her point she spoke slowly.

'You know something, Colonel Jack O'Neill? You're a lot like my dad - you pretend you're all hard and mash, I mean macho, on the outside but inside you're just a big marshmalllow.' Giggling to herself as she finished, she turned away and nearly fell over her own feet, held in place by Sam who was staring at her CO's red face, a big grin on her face.

'You dare say anything Carter and…'

'I won't say a thing, no sir, Colonel Marshmallow, sir.' Giving him a sloppy salute she turned away hurriedly and helped Clare to the safety of her bedroom.