Haku: ^_^ I never expected to get such a response to this fic! -passes out at all the reviews-
Y. Haku: Erm... -pokepoke- Erm... I think she's broken...
Mokuba: Nup, just passed out. ^_^
Y. Haku: That's bad but, right?
Mokey: Nup, it means I am free to take over the WORLD! -cough- I mean disclaim the fic.
Haku: Oh no you don't. -pounces- First we do the review replies, then the disclaimer.
Mokey: Then take over the world?
Haku: Okay then. But replies, disclaimer and fic first.
REVIEW REPLIES:
Paladin Dragoon- Yup, you're right there, but not in the way you think. Seeing as this whole thing is basically one big send-up of everything, it's gonna pretty much make a mockery of Yaoi and Yuri writers. Which means, quite Ironically, I'm making fun of myself.
Y. Haku: she does that a lot.
Mokey: Yup, my favourite is when she screams I SUCK!!! Just after she makes a big mistake.
flowacat- Everyone seems to want me to do living w/ Yamis... But I'm glad I could help you out Y. Flowa!
Lord Fluffy's Rin- Because of the response I'm getting, I probably will write Living w/ Yamis... but I have to finish this one first. Ideas keep popping into my head for both at the randomest moments...
Dagger5- I'm glad you think it makes up for the discontinuation, and this one is so much fun to write, simply because I make a mockery of everything I hold dear. And just for the record, Malik's the best, then Yugi and Yami, then MOKEY!!!!
Mokey: What, I'm only third am I? We'll se about that! -huffs, runs off then comes back with all three blue Eyes cards.- You wantey?
Haku: -snatch- Okay, now Mokey's the best! ^_^
I luv Kai- Every Sunday on the dot! ^_^
Female-Yami/Yugi- Eeepers... I see you have some serious problems with your Yami. here, borrow my kitten for a little while, she'll fix 'em right up.
Mittens: Hello, I am Mittens, the kitten from Hell.
Haku: The Living w/ Yamis is going to be done after I've finished this one, so Mittens will *hopefully* hold the fort until then...
Raven- Y. Haku: I resent that, I am not a mortal!
Haku: -coughs politely- I will update soon, and here, for your Hikari. -Hands Licreta some Ritalin-
Inu-Ice-Dragon- I'll get on to writing Living w/ Yamis as soon as I've finished this.
kaibascutie- Yuppers, you got it. every chapter is a new update...
Y. Haku; also, your advice has been noticed. We'll review the rating after this chapter. If it gets worse, it'll go up, if it gets better, it'll stay the same.
Random Thoughts- I'm glad you like it! I will, judging by the amount of poor Hikaris who want me to, write Living w/ Yamis.
SilentShadow007- ^_^ Thanks for the comments, it isn't that good, is it?
Requiem of Spirit- Thanks for the review, and I'm updating now aren't I?
DISCLAIMER:
Mokey: NOW is it time to do the Disclaimer?
Haku: Yup! Take it away Mokey!
Mokey: ^_^ Haku doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Think about it, would you really want someone with HER mind owning Yu-Gi-Oh!?
~*~*~*~
Living with Hikaris
Chapter 1: Your Hikari
~*~*~*~
Hikari (hee-karr-ee- Well, that's how WE say it.): Noun, Japanese for 'light'. Name used to refer to the sugar-high, happy-go-lucky 'other' that all unfortunate Yamis have.
So, You went through the process of becoming a Yami, did you? You sealed your spirit off from everything for 3000-5000 (Depending on whether you are 'subbed' or 'dubbed') years, with no thought whatsoever of what it could do to your thought process. Then, after sleeping for a couple of centuries, a cute little innocent being wakes you up quite forcefully, and you find yourself sharing residence within his mind, in your 'soul-room.' Quite rude of the little bugger really... but that's not the point.
In all honesty, was this really the person that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? we interviewed a certain Yami, called, funnily enough, Yami on the matter.
"Well, really, my Aibou didn't know I existed until about a month ago, when he tried to stop me winning a duel... therefore putting my king of games title on the line. Dammit, I mean, no-one likes Seto Kaiba anyway, what does it matter if the resulting shockwave from a blast sends him spiralling off the edge of a castle wall, placed upon a top cliff, surrounded by thorny scrub..." he proceeded to rant on about what a pig-headed idiot one 'Seto Kaiba' is after this, so we were forced to interview one of our other two Yamis instead. This one was a little more co-operative.
"Well, really, I couldn't care less about my Hikari. He's more of a hindrance than anything." Says the snowy haired teen, with those alluringly soft brown eyes and... Okay, time to get back on track. "Ryou really was just there for an anchor into the physical plain for me, meaning that no matter how many times a certain spiky-haired Pharaoh sent me to a certain realm of shadows, I would always be able to return. Really, the sugar highs aren't so bad once you get used to them, or you could always beat him into submission if he got too hard to handle." The makers of Living with Hikaris would like to say that the opinions of beating Hikaris are not that of the management, and if you do, you could go up against the Royal society of Protection of Cruelty of Hikaris. In the words of one soon to be famous dude that no one can remember,
"Ohhh Bakura... you in big Doo-doo this time."
But anyways... simple lesson that all Yamis must learn. There is a simple rule that prevents your Hikaris from any harm. It is called...
THE PUPPY DOG LOOK
The process of one Hikari, causing their eyes to swell to nearly twice their size. Here, we have brought in a Hikari to show what the look looks like exactly. Our spiky haired midget here is probably a master of this look. Watch now as his large amethyst eyes become even bigger to accommodate this look. His bottom lip quivers slightly, and the 'light-patches' in his eyes become large and wobbly. In extreme cases of this look, the eyes will fill with a saline (salt, for all you non-geniuses) solution that will threaten to spill over the eyes. There is no known defence for this look. Except maybe turning your head during it's early stages.
This look has been known to be the downfall of many a strong Yami. Our resident Psychotic, spiked haired wonder relates.
"Usually, I don't care for anyone, but in that moment, that death defying terrible moment when his eyes welled up with tears, I knew all was lost. I don't know what came over me, I couldn't defend against it, it was almost as if he took something from me. It was scary, and I couldn't resist. In that moment, nothing else mattered, except doing what my Hikari wanted so he wouldn't look so DAMN miserable." Fun, isn't it?
Now, basically, the Hikari falls under two categories, the small, disgustingly cute 'chibi' who craves love and attention, yet is totally helpless in the face of danger (The bully-magnet) Or, the small, disgustingly cute 'chibi' who craves love and attention, yet is totally helpless in the face of danger, and has faced numerous hardships early in his life, turning him into a twisted nutcase. (The asylum-escapee) Naturally, these two categories will both need to be analysed separately. First of all, the Bully Magnet.
Small, and often fragile, the Bully Magnet tends to well... be a bully magnet. You will find yourself continually needing to protect this type of host from stronger people, lest he will get hurt and your temporary mortality will be jeopardised. You also have to know that the bully-magnet might be able to find himself a few good 'friends'. These friends may include a violent idiot with bad hair, a friendship harpy, and a scroungy mongrel, but hell, they'll be good friends for him/her so let them be, unless said Friendship Harpy tries to hit on you, then be afraid... be very afraid.
Now, for the Asylum Escapee. This escapee is a completely different case altogether, and is probably the reason you're even around in the first place. Don't be surprised, if the Escapee seems a little mad, for in all essence, he is. Completely and utterly twisted. He will most likely try to take over the world, in the name of some unknown cause, and then, when the going gets really tough, his protector will step in. This 'protector' is usually a man by the name of Rishid (Or Rashid) but in some cases, they may be called Odion. The later is true, if your Hikari is of the 'dub' variety. The Escapee may have had a tragic past. Talk to him about it, you may discover that they lived underground for the first six years of their life, until a terrible accident, in which you were born, they went spiralling over the edge, and somehow their father ended up dead. Whoops...
Whether your Hikari is of the Bully magnet variety, or the Asylum escapee variety, both with have an uncanny affliction with sugar. If a Hikari goes anywhere near a pile of the glowing white mass, and accidentally should ingest some, it may start moving faster than normal, what little common sense it had will fly out the window, its naturally high voice will proceed to rise an octave, and it will virtually be uncontrollable. Be scared, your Hikari is now on a 'sugar-rush'. This strange sensation happens whenever a Hikari ingests a sweet substance that comes from the sugar-cane, or somewhere else that they refine this white-gold. A similar effect happens when the Hikari ingests Coke, Coffee, or any other caffeinated substance. there is no known cure for the rush, the best thing to do is to wait for the Hikari's natural defence mechanism to kick in, and the 'pancreas' will pump 'insulin' into the 'blood-stream' neutralising the sugar. But what now? Your Hikari just passed out on the carpet? No need to worry, that's just the 'sugar-crash' settling in. He'll be better in the morning.
In summary, your Hikari is a strange being, and he is different to anything
you have encountered before. He is an unnaturally weak (Well, was until you came
along) Subdivision of the human race. He tends to be the type a fan-girl (or
boy) will squeal "KAWAII!!!!" over, and he may find himself continually
'glomped' by such beings. If such a case arises, do not be afraid, they won't
hurt him, unless they are of the Rabid variety. A good way to tell the
difference, is while a fangirl would say, "KAWAII! OHMYGOD! I LOVE HIM!!!!"
A rabid Fangirl would say, (Haku: See the Author's note at the bottom.)
"OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!111!!!11 U R SOOO K4W411! I LUV3 U SO MUCH!!" Can you tell the
difference? If perhaps, you should come in contact with the second variety, run,
leave the state, and never look back, because these 'rabid' varieties tend to
develop an unnessecary fetish towards you and/or your hikari, One that's quite
simalar to the Author's blood fetish, and they may develop unnatural habits such
as stalking or, making shrines for you in their closets.
In short, The best way for a happy and healthy relationship with your hikari is to make sweet and passionate love to their mortal souls.
...
...
...
...
Sorry, that's not the best way. The best way is to keep them away from sugar and caffiene, make sure they have at least 3 friends, one arch rival (Who's just for your entertainment purposes really, but let him dream...) and interaction with at least 2 other Hikaris and/or yamis, and protect them from any bullies that will come their way. This is closely followed by the above stated solution.
~*~*~*~
HAKU'S NOTE: The author of this fics means no offence to 1337 speaking individuals, but she will not pass up an opportunity to make a mockery of something, that when forced to read it, she reverts to a Jamaican accent for the next week. (No offence to Jamaicans either, it just happens.) So in short, the author has no patience for such people, and struggles for about 3 hours to make sense of one sentence. This is merely her opinion, and she apologises for calling such people 'Rabid Fangirls (Or boys as the case might differ)' Please don't sue!!!
Haku: So there you have it, chapter 1 down.... so many more chapters to go...
Mokey: Can I take over the world now?
Haku: Knock yourself out.
Mokey: Okay! -hits himself over the head with a frypan- ugghhh... nightnight. -collapses-
Haku; IT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH!
Y. Haku; He can't hear you... ahh well... Read and Review?