Haku: HI THERE! And welcome, welcome to the next instalment of Living with!
Y. Haku: Okay, here's your five bucks. You can do a cheesy game show host type greeting.
Haku: ^_^ -takes money-
Mokuba: -sweatdrop- I missed something, didn't I?
DISCLAIMER:
Haku: ... I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!... Yet...
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How to defeat said bad guy
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!!!IMPORTANT NOTE!!!
We, the makers of Living with Hikaris would like to take this moment to remind everyone that these methods are only our suggested paths, and not the ones that should be taken by the following people:
Friendship activists
Extreme neat freaks
People who enjoy drinking tea.
Anyone who reacts badly to stress or pressure.
Thank you.
!!!END IMPORTANT NOTE!!!
Now, everyone here knows (Or should know) How to identify a Baddie who has come after you, and/or your Hikari. Before we go any further though, we'd like to give a brief re-cap of all the types of Baddie that can be encountered. They are: the Ancient Tomb Robber Baddie, the Old, fruity gentleman type baddie, the Dice boy Baddie, the deceased and disgruntled son baddie and the Mind controlling Baddie V's .1 and 2. Now, depending on the severity of each 'baddie' you encounter (And whether they've got the funny eye thing going on...) you will need a different strategy to face each one.
Though, surrounding all these baddies, there is one thing that you must do.
No matter which one, no matter where, or in what era...
You must...
Duel.
Yes, folks, you heard right. You must duel each and every single baddie that you come across, and maybe several of their minions as well. It's just the way the world works.
Hell, if we knew why, we'd tell you. But.... Unfortunately we don't, so it's straight onto the lesson.
The one thing about these duels, you must realise is that more often than not, the fate of the world will come down to timing, luck and the flip of a card. And we're not kidding about the last one, either.
See, All of these baddies are incessantly strange, for rather than hiring a personal hit man to take out members of the UN one at a time, and slowly gain control, they'd rather duel you, a person with virtually no name, except the 'king of games' and place their fate on your own special golden item. They'd rather try and take over the world with a wee bit of metal than with an army... To me, that's just a little odd, but I won't go into that here.
As soon as you've identified that, yes, there is indeed a baddie after you with the funky eye thing going down, ((Haku: Sorry, but one of my reviewers claimed that Malik didn't have the funky eye thing, so I'm gonna be annoying and throw that in at every opportunity...)) Then you must ask yourself, what to do?
Do you beat the living shit out of them? Or do you duel them and put your faith in little pieces of cardboard and a holographic projector? Decisions, decisions.
Okay, let's have a closer analysis of one of our baddies, shall we? And we'll do a standard play-by-play of how the Duel goes. Let's take the "Fruity old Gentleman" Type baddie, though I assure you, this strategy works very well with the other types as well. This one's just more interesting than most, due to certain events that take place.
Ready?
Step one: Coming home
You and your Hikari will be buzzing around town happily, when your Hikari invites his friends over for dinner/duelling. (Notice how the Hikari includes Duelling. It's his life passion, and of course, he's willing to duel anyone who he can.... with your help of course though... though at this time he may not know you exist... I'm rambling, aren't I?)
Step 2: The unmarked package
Your hikari will notice a package by the front door, or maybe a relative of theirs has already brought it inside, and when your hikari enters into the house (Slash small business) they will receive this package from said family member, with a statement like: "Oh, look, something arrived for you in the mail!" Oh look! They state the obvious!
Step 3: The video
This is where you can either be a smart Yami, or an insanely dumb one. You can smash the video that came in the unmarked package, thus being smart and saving your Hikari for weeks of pain and searching, or you can be dumb and let them watch the video.
Let's say that you were dumb, Okay?
Your Hikari will proceed to put the video into the recorder, whilst you are mentally berating yourself, for you know what a stupid idea that is, and you will see something that you might not expect...
Unless you've read this self-help guide that is.
You will see the creator of your hikari's favourite game on the video, speaking to you and telling your Hikari what a fantastic duellist you are, and that that defeat of the world champion was simply remarkable.
You will most likely be thinking: "Why thank you... I try.... HEY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY HIKARI GETS THE CREDIT???!!!"
-Sigh- Ahh, the hells of being a yami, huh?
Step 4: Duel number Zero, Zero one.
Yup, by the end of it, you'll feel like there have been more duels than you can count on your fingers and toes, but let's just continue, shall we?
All of your duels will follow the same, stock standard pattern.
You will look like you're winning, find your opponent has been toying with you, start to loose, drastically claim that you've been toying with your opponent, your opponent draws a lucky card, repeat steps 4 and 5 several times, draw a lucky card when your opponent has many life points, and you have next to none, and then win.
You always get to win, you lucky bastard, except in duel Zero, Zero one.
In this Duel, you next to always loose, or the duel remains undecided.
Step 5: MUAHAHA! The funky eye thing!
And now, it's time for the Baddie's all powerful, secret weapon, the funky eye thing.
Whether it be a third eye on the head of an unwitting pawn, throwing a die between the eyes of your hikari's best friend, or whether they just have plain funky eyes, the next part is where the funky eye thing is revealed.
In the example of the Fruity old gentleman, this is where he reveals his gold and permanent fake eye, that he claims can send souls to the 'shadow realm' and read minds.
Ahh... so that's why you didn't win... he cheated.
Hey! WHAT THE F**K DID HE JUST DO TO YOUR HIKARI'S GRANDPA???
Heheh... sorry about that...
Step 6: The deadly realisation
Oh no! Your elderly loved one is gone! Sealed away in the cold, dark abyss that is a shadow realm, where hungry monsters will gnaw on their skull! What to do, what to do...
Duh! Rescue them!
Take up the challenge that the baddie offered you. Do anything to save your loved one! That is what you must do.
Or, you could sit at home, and hope that the LSD in Fruity's juice wears off soon.
Step 7: Duels, Duels and more Duels.
Exactly what the step title says. You've arrived at the location they want you at, and now you must duel. Duel, duel and duel, all the while, your cute, loveable Hikari getting the credit.
You must duel until you accomplish the task set out for you by the Baddie, then you must face them.
Or, fight your way through the finals (More duels) and face them.
This wouldn't be so bad, if the pattern stated in step 4 didn't keep repeating itself over and over...
Step 8: Final confrontation (Final Duel)
Whoopee. Another Duel. Just when you thought that you couldn't take it anymore, they bang another one on top o' ya.
Never mind though, this one is always more exiting that the others due to your tendency to get a little overdramatic, seeing as the fate of the world rests in your hands. (I thought you were just doing this to rescue your grandpa?)
And this is a duel that you're guaranteed to win. After all, you can't have a baddie winning, now, could you? That goes against all the acceptable laws of nature.
Step 7.5: The part that was forgotten above (The rival)
Oh yeah, we forgot to mention, the duel with the rival.
This generally happens before your duel with the baddie. It involves you and your rival being locked in a fierce battle of strength and wills to find out who is superior until you duel once again.
You either win this one, or are forced to loose this one.
There's no two ways about it... You are always gonna win, unless you are forced to loose. (By forced, we mean that seeing as duelling is what your rival lives for as well, He will threaten you with attempted suicide unless you let him win.)
-cough- This duel follows the same duelling pattern, though it generally involves your hikari's friendship harpy friend bullshitting on about friendship through most of it, and you desperately trying to ignore her, whilst reminding yourself that murder is not a good thing.
Rather annoying.
Step 9: VICTORY!!!!
Need we say more?
Step 10: Another Baddie?
Of course, peace doesn't last long, and as soon as you've rescued your loved one, another baddie will come and take their place.
Here we go again...
So there you have it. Your plan of attack when it comes to defeating Baddies. Just keep following this pattern, and no matter how many times the baddies come after you, you will still be able to hold them off.
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tati1- Thankee for the kind words, and I was stupid to let them get to me... ^_^ and I'm really flattered by your words! -Blushes-
Y. Haku: Oh dear... all this praise will go to her head I tell you.
YamiClara- O.o -watches- Thanks for the praise! This mortal being isn't worthy.
Y. Haku: You mean you're mortal? Haha! You can die! -Pokes fun-
Haku: When I die, you die, idjit.
Y. Haku: Forgot about that... -.-;
modern-eponine- Lol! Let's just say I have a warped mind, okay?
Y. Haku: Erm... Hikari, that's not really a good thing.
Mokuba: -nods-
Splath- What's wrong with being a different gender to your other half?
Y. Haku: Look, Hikari, you don't find yourself a completely different gender when you take over, do you?
Haku: No....
Y. Haku: Let's just say that it's disturbing.
Mokuba: Hey! I didn't know that big brother had a Yami...
Haku: As for your questions... I don't know really... I guess I'm just lucky.
LoneWolfStar7- Awww.... What happened to the Ritalin I gave you? Do you want sedatives instead?
Y. Haku: -shakes head- This is why I'm glad I have a goth for a Hikari.
Haku: I'm not a goth!
Y. Haku: No, you only listen to any depressing music you can get your hands on, loud enough to make the soulrooms shake, you have a morbid fascination with pain and death, and you wear black all the time...
Haku: And I am completely insane come to think of it... But not a goth. I hope you get over your depression... if they hurt you, do you really feel that they were worth your time?
Y. Haku: Shut up! You're spoiling fanfiction plotlines there.
Paladin Dragoon- Lol! Don'tcha just love that word? And thanks for the compliment!
Mokuba: -runs around screaming madly- YEAAAARRRRGHHH! THERE'S A FRUITY OLD GENTLEMAN TYPE BADDIE AFTER ME!
Haku: Well, I can't say I didn't know that it would make somebody paranoid...
Blaquerose- -Watches as you two fawn over the blonde, jewellery toting Bishounen who is absolutely perfect in every way, except for his dubbed voice, except for when he pretends to be innocent- -melts into a puddle of goo-
Y. Haku: ... O.....Kaaaaayyyy....
Haku: -blinks once, and then twice as she remembers the evil git he turns into, and brandishes the Sennen pencil in her rage- WHY I AUGHTA!!! Ahh well... As for the review, Malik does have the funky eye thing going on... though his eyes are awesome, and heart melting and...
Mokuba: Get on with it!
Haku: -cough- Ahem. I was referring to the lines that come down from his eyes, onto his face. I have no idea what they're called. -Suddenly gets caught up in a giant conga line- CHIBI CHIBI CHI-BI!
Y. Haku: I don't know you Hikari.
Tramontana Keeper- Thanks for clearing that up for me. -Squishes another plot hole into the ground- And his dubbed voice is horrible, isn't it?
Y. Haku: Also, thanks for the compliment on the description of Noa.
Haku: Noa.... -sigh- -goes of into dreamyland-
Jkateel- -blushes deeply- You're too kind to me, did you know that? -Gives yew a crate of cookies-
Y. Haku: Hey! No fair! They were mine!
Princess Krystal01- lol! That's a brilliant question! I'll have to put it in when I get around to doing the next FAQ... It should be next chapter...
Y. Haku: Should... Hmmm... Why does that remind me of all the times in the past that you have said 'should?'
Haku: Erm.... no reason...
Bunny Meatball/Odango Usagi- I shall add that question to my list of FAQ. -Writes it down-
Y. Haku: No comment on the threesome stuff though...
Haku: Threesomes? Where?
Y. Haku: EWWWWW! Hikari!!!
Flowacat- O.o Did you see that, Kohaku? I got a YAMI to smile! ^_^
Y. Haku: Hmmmm.... Interesting. And here you go! -Chucks a can of 'baddie-b-gone' at you- Use that to get rid of your mind controlling baddie V.1 problem.
Silver Dragon, Iron Claws- Oh wow! Thanks for the kind words! All my reviewers are really flattering and I have not got the foggiest as to why.
Y. Haku: They think that you're good Hikari, take it as a compliment.
Haku; I'm not though... that's the thing.
Random Thoughts- O.o That is a good question, though I'll have to ask my Yami about that...
Y. Haku: I can't reply to that question either, because I write Fanfiction too...
Saiyan Jedi- I reckon, eh? We're a real sadistic bunch, yet we still get protection from the RSPCH... Strange, really...
Y. Haku: And most unfortunately, we live in Australia, where on Pay T.V they got up to the Battle blimp, just after Mai and Mariku's duel, and then repeated from Duellist Kingdom, and on free to air, they just reached Battle City for the first time.
Haku: So we're deprived of all this stuff, except by use of the internet! -Goes back to reading her manga scans-
Rae and Silver- I still pity you for having two yamis... one is most definitely bad enough. And thanks for the support... with all my fantastic reviewers I should get over.
Y. Haku: Of course, it has nothing to do with your writing ability and the fact that your reviewers might actually enjoy what you do?
Haku: Of course not. They're just so fantastic that they review and... -Yammers for awhile-
Kaibascutie- -blush- Wow. I never thought someone would read absolutely everything! -Hug- You've made me feel so great!
Y. Haku: And thanks for leaving a review for every chapter! It makes us feel great that you would take time to do that, instead of compiling it all into one at the end.
Mokuba: So glad that you're enjoying it.
Jia-BlackHoleSun- Yeah, it would, but I'm going by the stereotypical fanfiction style yami. (You know, the cliché ones that always seem to occur in fics?) But you are right there.
Y. Haku: That's why the info is so lousy. It goes by whatever the cliché is.
Haku; Shush you! -Bonks him-
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Haku: O.o that was a lot of review replies. I just wanna say that you guys ROCK! -Hands out crates of cookies and plushies to all-
Y. Haku; Yeah! It's great just reading all your reviews and knowing that someone appreciates what my Hikari writes.
Haku: Thankees all again, and don't forget to...
Mokuba: Read and review!