AN: This takes place prior to 'Stronger Than I Am'. And I do apologize but it's another tearjerker. Blame my Muse. She's the one who gives me the ideas and the details. I just write it down . . . uh, type it down . . . whatever.
Disclaimer: No, I'm not an advertising agent for Kleenex, I swear! (But, um, since we're on the subject, better grab a few . . . actually, better make it a box, just, ya know, in case.)
Oh and all Ranma ½ characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi first and the various publishing and production agencies that brought them to us second. I own no part of them (except for a few manga and DVDs) and do this only to satisfy my own masochistic tendencies and my Muse (whom I adore! Really I do! Heh heh, yeah . . . I wonder if chocolate would get her out of this depressing funk she's in?). "There You'll Be" is sung by Trisha Yearwood and owned by whoever made "Pearl Harbor" I think. (For the slow ones in the crowd, that's not me.)
Anyway, onto the story!
There You'll Be
By Maja
"Akane, there's a letter for you downstairs on the table."
"I'll be down in a moment, Kasumi!" Akane replied as Kasumi nodded and shut the door. Then Akane turned to Kaida. "Did you hear that, honey? There's a letter for us!"
"Is it from daddy?" the precocious three-and-a-half-year-old asked as she carefully toweled herself off just like her mom.
"I don't know, but maybe."
"Oh I hope! I hope! I hope!" Kaida said excitedly as she bounced up and down, the towel forgotten.
Akane chuckled and reached out to ruffle her daughter's short hair. "Well you can't go running downstairs like that. Let's get dressed and we'll go find out, okay?"
"Okay!"
It was the fastest they'd gotten out of the bath recently, but Kaida was in such a hurry she didn't protest at her mother's help today and soon they were moving downstairs at the step-by-step pace of the growing child. Help with her clothes she'd accept, but she wasn't in so much of a hurry that she needed to be carried down the stairs she'd just recently really mastered.
Once at the bottom, Kaida ran as fast as her little legs could carry her to the table where she'd spied the white rectangle, but stretching up on her tippie-toes and feeling over the edge wasn't enough to allow her to reach the envelope.
Akane caught up quickly enough and picked up the letter, flipping it over to check the sender's name out of habit.
"That's funny," she murmured.
"Is it from daddy?" Kaida asked.
"No, it's from Uncle Ryoga," Akane said.
"Yay! Uncle Ryoga wrote us!" Kaida cheered, doing a little dance.
Akane smiled at her daughter's exuberance and slipped a finger under the flap to open the envelope as her brow furrowed. Why had Ryoga written to her instead of Ranma? Usually Ryoga wrote to Akari and just included a note at the end of Ranma's letters to them.
She pulled the letter out and unfolded it, quickly reading over the words.
Her fingers tightened on the paper and she gasped ending Kaida's dance.
"Mommy? What's wrong?"
Akane barely heard her daughter and even then it took her a few moments to respond.
"Go find Aunt Kasumi, Kaida," she said softly.
"What's wrong, mommy?" Kaida repeated.
"Just . . . just go get Aunt Kasumi."
Kaida frowned, but ran off to do as her mother said.
Once she was gone, Akane's tears broke free and she sank to the floor with a choked sob.
"This can't be happening," she whispered hoarsely. "It's not . . . oh gosh, it's not possible."
But as her eyes scanned the words again she knew it wasn't a lie or a joke or anything but the truth.
The letter dropped from nerveless fingers and then she buried her head in her hands and cried, the simple, painful words running through her head.
--R&A--
I don't know how to say this any way that will make it hurt less, so here it is, Akane:
After completing the task which brought us here to this remote village, Ranma and I returned to the inn where we had been staying. The local doctor did everything she could, but it was just too late.
I'm sorry, Akane.
Last night, Ranma passed away due to the injuries he received fighting the demon we were summoned to kill.
I have already talked with Akari and she is supposed to arrive this morning. As soon as she does we'll be on our way back to Nerima. I didn't want to wait, but I'd hate to get lost and delay my return.
Akane, if there is anything I can do, please, just tell me. I have a message for you from Ranma, but I'm supposed to pass it on in person so it'll have to wait until we get back.
I'm so sorry, Akane. I wish I could change the past but . . . I'm sorry.
With all my love and sympathies,
Ryoga Hibiki
--R&A--
When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind,
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get
To have you in my life.
When I look back on these days,
I'll look and see your face.
You were right there for me.
--R&A--
Akane sat on the roof of the dojo and watched the sunset as it painted the sky in a wash of brilliant purples, blues, oranges, and pinks.
It was the place where she and Ranma had watched the sunset on more than one occasion, the most recent being the night before he left on this last journey. It was part of their goodbye ritual, to watch the sunset from the roof and hold each other close. There was never a lot of talking, just soaking in each other's presence before the long absence as he went off to help some village or other with a problem they had.
She thought of how many times they'd done this in the five years of their marriage—more than she could remember she realized—and tried to think if there had been anything different about this last one.
--R&A--
She had learned to roof hop just after they got married, but when he was going to leave he'd always carry her up and then sit facing the west with her in his lap.
His arms wrapped tightly around her as she leaned back on him for support, heads resting against each other, they just sat and watched Nature's nightly performance. An "I love you" or two was spoken, but rarely anything more.
They stayed that way until the first star appeared in the sky and then he carried her back down and they went to bed.
--R&A--
Now she sat alone, hugging her knees to her chest as the tears streamed down her face.
"I love you," she whispered, her heart squeezing in her chest at the silence in reply.
--R&A--
In my dreams I'll always see you
Soar above the sky.
In my heart there'll always be a place for you
For all my life.
I'll keep a part of you with me.
And everywhere I am,
There you'll be.
And everywhere I am,
There you'll be
--R&A--
Unbidden, more memories surfaced in her mind and she was powerless to resist as they burst and washed over her.
--R&A--
She stood on the ground next to him, having just successfully jumped up to the roof and then back down.
His applause and cheering made her feel as if she could do anything. She did it a few more times and once she had the hang of it, he jumped up beside her and kissed her on the cheek.
"Tag," he said, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "You're it."
Then he took off over the rooftops, laughing and pausing occasionally to make a face at her.
"Catch me if you can!" he yelled and then took off again.
"Oooh!" she growled and then sprinted forward pushing off at the last second to fly through the air after him. "RANMAAAA!" she yelled as she chased his ringing laughter.
She trailed him all over town, the game stopping only when she missed a jump and fell. He caught her as always and landed lightly on the ground, grinning at her as he set her feet down but retaining his hold on her.
"Still my clumsy tomboy," he said, but it was with warm affection.
This was her chance she realized and grinned back up at him. "Tag," she whispered. "You're it." Her kiss wasn't on the cheek, though, and it quickly deepened leaving them gasping for air when they finally broke apart.
"Okay," he said breathlessly as he hugged her tightly. "You win this time. But I want a rematch."
She chuckled and returned the hug. "Anytime you're ready," she replied.
--R&A--
She laughed wetly now as the memory faded and returned her to the present. They'd played 'tag' on many an occasion after that and somehow she'd always won and he'd demand a rematch.
It was about the only thing she could consistently beat him at, but then, in their version, there really was no loser was there?
"Oh Ranma," she murmured gazing at a sky that was losing the oranges and pinks as the blue curtain of night steadily moved down to the horizon. "What about your rematch?"
--R&A--
Well you showed me how it feels
To feel the sky within my reach.
And I always will remember all
The strength you gave to me.
Your love made me make it through.
Oh, I owe so much to you.
You were right there for me.
--R&A--
The sound of a child's voice drifted up to Akane and she glanced at where Kasumi and Kaida sat next to the pond talking quietly. Her oldest sister had offered to stay for a while and watch the child while Akane spent some time alone with her thoughts.
Looking at her daughter now, Akane was reminded of the night she was born.
--R&A--
"Ranma, it's time."
"No, it's going to be another fifteen minutes before it's done, Akane," he said with a glance at the clock.
"Ranma," she said with a gasp, her voice tightening with the pain. "I'm not talking about dinner." He looked up from the dish he was washing with confusion on his face.
"Then what . . ."
She stood in the doorway, one hand gripping the doorframe with white knuckles, the other on her bulging stomach. As he watched her eyes screwed shut in pain and she gasped again.
Comprehension finally penetrated his thick skull and he dropped the dish back in the water with a splash and ran over, swearing.
"I though it was supposed to be another two weeks!" he protested as he slipped her arm over his shoulder and scooped her up, racing for the front door.
"Yeah, well, it doesn't surprise me that -your- child is insistent on doing this at their own schedule ahead of everyone else's expectations," she panted as the pain subsided.
That got a laugh out of him as he made it out the gate into the street. "Unless I'm mistaken this kid's half yours."
"You're mistaken," she deadpanned before another contraction hit and she was distracted with biting back the scream that was trying to claw its way out of her throat.
He winced at her fingers digging into his arm, but only used it as incentive to speed up. He would have taken the most direct route possible, but he only had to go as far as Dr. Tofu's clinic and he'd been warned that jumping up and down like that would be a Bad Thing when she was in labor.
He slid to a stop in front of the door and then gently lowered Akane's feet to the ground just long enough to pound on the door hard enough to alarm the neighbors three houses down.
After a few precious seconds the door was flung open by Dr. Tofu who blinked at the two of them while it sank in what was going on—Akane in severe pain and clutching her abdomen, Ranma carrying her and looking as worried as Tofu had ever seen, yep, definitely labor—then nodded.
"Come in," he said as he stepped back.
Kasumi appeared behind him, and took in the scene with her usual, "Oh my!" Then she quickly moved past the three of them into the clinic area.
"Come right this way, Ranma, we've got a room all prepared," she said in the businesslike tone she'd adopted after marrying Dr. Tofu and becoming his assistant.
Gratefully Ranma followed his sister-in-law into the back room on the ground floor. He didn't know what it used to be, but it had obviously been freshly scrubbed and prepared for just this occasion.
"Bring her here to the bed and we'll see if we can't make her more comfortable. No offense, Ranma," Kasumi added as she fluffed the pillow.
"None taken," he said as he gently laid his wife on the clean white cotton sheets. As soon as his hands were no longer under her, Akane grabbed at the closest one—his right hand—and squeezed. Ranma bit back his own scream of pain as she crushed his fingers in her grip.
She yanked him down so his face was just inches from hers and spoke in a low voice that had him questioning his sanity in agreeing to have a child with her knowing how violent she was. His doubts had been reaffirmed after hearing about how Nabiki had broken Kuno's nose when their daughter was born six months ago but he'd ignored that little voice in the back of his head. He silently vowed to never ignore that little voice of reason again.
"Ranma Saotome, I swear on all the cursed springs at Jusenkyo that when I'm done here I'm going to mallet you into the next universe, got it?"
The only response he was capable of was a whimper as she closed her eyes and squeezed his hand even tighter. He could feel the bones starting to bend in preparation for breaking and instinct told him to pull his hand away.
The slightest tug, though, brought Akane's eyes open again and up to his.
"Don't even think of escaping or there won't be enough of you to mallet into the next universe."
He nodded quickly and she closed her eyes again as she focused on her breathing as she'd been told to do.
Ranma looked up to Kasumi and Dr. Tofu for help, but the good doctor was studiously paying attention to the examination he was doing even as he half coughed in a way that sounded a lot like a laugh. Kasumi just smiled at him and said in her cheery voice, "Aren't you two so cute?"
Ranma resigned himself to having to learn how to write with his left hand and gritted his teeth against the pain.
"Well, I see this child definitely takes after dad in at least one aspect," Dr. Tofu said as he straightened, now finished with his examination. He hooked a foot around the leg of a stool and pulled it over, then sat.
"Do tell, Doctor," Akane ground out between clenched teeth, her eyes blazing.
"Don't worry, Ranma, it's almost over," Tofu said instead of answering. "Two good pushes should do it," he said to Akane, ignoring the crackling blue flames of her battle aura pulsing off of her as she half sat up.
"It had better be almost !#$!% over!" she screamed as the pain crescendoed and Dr. Tofu calmly directed her to push.
She did and one might have thought a murder or two was being committed from the screaming, Akane's voice a mix of barely to unintelligible threats and curses, Ranma's a wordless cry of agony as he discovered new levels of pain.
"And stop," Dr. Tofu said and she lay back, panting so hard she could barely mutter her curses and threats against everything she could think of. Between the grip she had on his hand and the fact that most of her mutterings were directed at him, Ranma was on the verge of fainting. The fact that she'd wake him up and then carry out her threats was the only thing keeping him from passing out.
"Ready for this last push?" Dr. Tofu asked. Akane's response was rather crude and vulgar, but Dr. Tofu just nodded.
"Okay and . . . push."
Akane screamed, Ranma screamed, and then both abruptly stopped as a third scream filled the room. Using his arm as leverage, Akane pushed herself up so she could see the squalling, messy, tomato-red baby Dr. Tofu held.
"Congratulations, it's a somewhat impatient little girl," he said and Akane fell back, a smile on her face as she gasped for breath and released Ranma's hand.
Ranma just stared in shock at the infant indignantly protesting her entrance into the world with as much gusto as her mother had been a few moments ago until a fist grabbing his shirtfront brought his head around.
"Akane, I-" he started to plead for his life, but she just yanked hard and brought him down to where she could crush her lips against his.
After a long few moments she shoved him back up. "You'll live for now, Saotome," she breathed and then released him to take the baby from Kasumi.
Ranma just stood there, part of him gazing at his now quiet daughter in wonder and part of him praying gratefully to any deity that might be listening for preserving his life once again.
"That's your daddy, Kaida," Akane said as she pointed at his slack-jawed face. "Yes, he looks very silly now, and no, he's not a fish, he's just not very smart. But he'll be a good daddy for you. I'll train him right, you'll see."
"Ranma," Dr. Tofu said, catching his attention, "while Kasumi finishes up in here with Akane and Kaida, let's go take a look at that hand."
He nodded numbly and turned to follow the older man from the room. He froze at the door when he heard Akane say cheerfully, "Don't worry about him, Kaida; he'll come back because he values his life."
She looked up then and smiled, but an odd glitter in her eyes made him shudder.
"I, uh, of course I'll be right back," he stammered and then bolted from the room.
"Yes, your daddy is very silly," she said quietly to the infant in her arms. "But I love him all the same."
--R&A--
The slightly faded happiness of the past mingled with the fresh anguish of the present and the tears rolled ever faster down her cheeks. The sky was almost dark now, but the last few fingers of light clawed at the sky as if refusing to let go just yet.
"Oh Ranma," she said again as she rested her forehead on her knees which she hugged close to her chest. "You can't leave me alone. I can't do this by myself."
--R&A--
In my dreams I'll always see you
Soar above the sky.
In my heart there'll always be a place for you
For all my life.
I'll keep a part of you with me.
And everywhere I am,
There you'll be.
--R&A--
Now she was returned to a night she knew she'd never forget no matter how much she might want to. It was the night she almost lost both her husband and her daughter.
--R&A--
The whole winter had been extremely cold and it was extra long to boot, coming a good month early and sticking around until almost six weeks after it should have ended.
But on this particular stormy night as she tried desperately to soothe her bawling one year-old-daughter, Akane felt the chill down to her bones.
"Shh, Kaida, it's okay. Mommy's here." Akane sat on the bottom steps of the stairs leading to the second floor and bounced the baby gently in her arms trying to get her to stop screaming. She wished she could just wave a magic wand and fix all her baby girl's problems.
"Daddy will be back soon," she said in a low soothing voice as she watched the front door.
"Any sign of him yet?" her father asked as he descended the stairs to stand next to her. She shook her head as she continued to shush her daughter.
"No, but it's an honest to goodness blizzard out there, Dad. You can't see more than a foot or so. He even tied the rope to the porch to make sure he could find his way back."
Soun sighed and nodded. "I'm sure he's okay. It's just to the clinic and back. He'll be fine."
"Of course, he will," she'd whispered fiercely to the squalling infant. "Nothing can stop your daddy, Kaida. Certainly not any little snowstorm. No, indeed."
He eventually made it back with the medicine needed, but it was a very long night for all three of them as he lay shivering in bed trying to warm up and defrost and Akane sat in the chair next to the bed with a bucket of cool water to apply with a washcloth to their daughter's feverish forehead.
"You know," he said in the early hours of the next morning as a shiver raced through him, making his teeth chatter momentarily, "She's too hot and I'm too cold. Funny isn't it? If we could just switch somehow, everything'd be all right."
Struck silent by the brilliance of his simple idea, Akane stood and moved over to the bed, pulling back the thick layer of blankets just enough to slide under them.
His eyes opened a crack and he stared at her, shivering again as he watched her scoot closer.
"Akane, what're you . . . oohhh," he said as she snuggled right up to his side, the burning ember of their daughter between them, but not so she was squashed or suffocated. He forced his arms, stiff from the icy cold to come up around them and the three of them stayed that way the rest of the night.
She woke the next morning to find Ranma's temperature had risen to just barely below normal and Kaida's had gone down to where it wasn't quite so alarming anymore. Both were sleeping peacefully.
"See, Ranma, you can be smart if you just try," she whispered and kissed his cheek.
--R&A--
The relief she felt at knowing they were both safe had almost made her cry and she recalled wondering what she would have done if he hadn't made it for some reason.
"I guess I'll find out now," she choked out as she started sobbing again.
--R&A--
'Cause I always saw in you my light, my strength.
And I wanna thank you now for all the ways
You were right there for me.
You were right there for me.
You were right there for me
Always.
--R&A--
The tears fell from her eyes until she was certain she could cry no more, but even then they didn't stop.
How was she supposed to keep going when he was gone? How could she be expected to keep living and breathing when half of her world had just been ripped away?
"Akane?"
Kasumi's voice caught her attention between sobs and she forced herself to be quiet.
"Akane?"
"Yes, Kasumi?" she replied, her voice a blubbering, shaking thing she hardly recognized as her own.
"Akane, Kaida's ready for bed, but she wants a goodnight kiss from you. She says she won't go to sleep without it."
Akane brushed quickly at her eyes and cleared her throat.
"I'm on my way down. Give me just a second."
"All right. I'll let her know."
Akane looked up to see the first evening star had winked into existence, the last few rays of day finally giving way to the night as her question was answered.
She would continue on because it was only half of her world that had been ripped away. The other half was still waiting for her to give a goodnight kiss.
She sniffed and whispered one final time, praying somehow he'd hear her words . . .
"I love you, Ranma Saotome."
--R&A--
In my dreams I'll always see you
Soar above the sky.
In my heart there'll always be a place for you
For all my life.
I'll keep a part of you with me.
And everywhere I am,
There you'll be.
And everywhere I am,
There you'll be.
There you'll be . . .
AN: blows nose noisily into Kleenex See? What did I tell you? If you've got a wet face and no Kleenex right now, I would like to refer you to the author's note at the top of the page. You were warned. But here's a travel pack of Kleenex for you anyway. [ K ] Take as many as you need.
Once again, flame me if you feel the need to do so. My therapist says keeping anger bottled up inside is counterproductive to a healthy psyche and that finding a safe release of that anger is not only necessary for the preservation of one's sanity but also quite cathartic.
(Translation for those of you who don't speak shink-ese: It's bad to stay angry so take your feelings out on me and you'll feel better as well as not going crazy.)
Oh and if you liked it, let me know too.
Thanks for reading.
Maja